Chapter Text
No one came for him, not that he wanted them to. He was better off alone if they couldn't respect him as a leader. They were simply holding him back! It was much easier to fuel one mech.
So, Starscream looked after himself. He stole energeon and supplies, did repairs on himself when needed, and never stayed in the same place for more than a day. All he needed was what he could carry!
Though, this did have the inconvenient side effect of him being unable to consume anything but pure energeon, since distillation equipment wasn't portable (not that he had any, anyway). Without it, he wasn't going to risk wrecking his systems. There would be no saving him if he ruined himself in that way, since the only hands to care for him were his own.
Birds chirped around him. It was almost pleasant. Dead leaves crunched beneath his pedes, and a weak wind swayed the trees. A minuscule bird flitted down from one of the trees, its beautiful red plumage highlighted by a small beam of sunlight.
Yellow eyes peered from a patch of ferns nearby. In a swift blur, the bird was caught between the claws of a fuzzy creature. The creature snapped the bird's neck and dug its teeth into its flesh. Starscream watched the scene for a moment, stunned, before he remembered what the creature was: a cat.
He was reminded, for a moment, why he had been fascinated by different worlds before the war began. Though he never had the opportunity to pursue this interest, unable to leave the planet, there was something intriguing about the cruelty of nature. He stepped closer.
The cat's ears turned toward the sound. It stared up at him, back rising, then fled with its meal. Why was that disappointing?
He shouldn't have wanted to associate with such a tiny, weak, and fearful creature. Organic creatures were filthy and stupid—he knew that! What had possessed him? Was he truly so lonely and pathetic?
(He tried not to think of Buster.)
"Whatever," he muttered to himself.
It was time to take off, anyway. He couldn't spend too long in one place or his enemies—ex-allies and Autobots alike—would find him. With a graceful leap, he took to the sky. Lazily, he soared on the currents until he was sufficiently lost. Then, he landed.
{Alert! Fuel levels low.}
Starscream ignored the notification, checking for the actual value. It was low enough, so he took a cube out of his cockpit and drank it. The moment the energeon entered his mouth, he craved more. The cube was gone before he could register it, and he had to stop himself from pulling another one out.
He couldn't drink them too quickly. With both factions as enemies, raiding for fuel was a major risk. The less he consumed, the less he had to worry. It meant he spent more time in recharge to conserve energy, but that didn't matter. As long as he wasn't found, it was fine.
☆☆☆
The facility was poorly guarded. It was definitely a trap, but what else was he going to do? So, Starscream broke in with as much stealth as he could manage, and had already filled his cockpit when the lights in the warehouse turned on.
One of the disgusting, squishy little humans stared at him from the entryway. Was this really not a trap after all? Were they so incompetent?
"What the fuck?" The human said. They blinked at him stupidly. Then, their brow furrowed. "Oh. Oh, right. You're one of those."
Starscream was so bewildered that he didn't realize he'd spoken until the confused, "What?" had already left his vocalizer.
"I don't get paid enough for this shit," the human said with an exasperated sigh. "Don't break anything."
It shut the door.
What in the pits did it mean by 'one of those?' Starscream didn't have time to wonder. He seized the opportunity and took off.
The next time he passed by that facility, security was much tighter.
☆☆☆
The new cubes only lasted so long. He was running out again. So, he set off, searching for another facility to raid. His search brought him a boon, though it wasn't his original objective.
Megatron's pale gray plating was unmistakable. A mech—presumably, a Decepticon—was subdued below him. Starscream seized the opportunity and fired on him, then dove in. Megatron caught Starscream in his hands, the force of the dive not enough to cause any worthwhile damage.
Starscream transformed and clawed him in the face, which did manage to pierce the plating. He clawed again, and again—as many times as he could before Megatron grabbed his wrists. The brute stared at him, a disappointed frown on his face.
"You look terrible," Megatron said.
"Like you care," Starscream hissed back.
Megatron sighed, shaking Starscream like an unruly cybercat when he began to struggle. "I suppose I don't. I hear you've left your faction, and now this is what you're doing?"
"I'm going to kill you," Starscream said. "You deserve it."
Megatron rolled his optics. "You've never succeeded before."
Starscream kicked at Megatron, finally freeing himself from the hold. He aimed his rays and fired. They singed Megatron's plating, eliciting a grunt from the fragger. He brushed himself off and closed the gap between them, seizing one of Starscream's wings.
"I tried to reason with you," Megatron growled. "You're a risk to yourself and everyone around you."
Starscream kicked off of Megatron, freezing when his wing bent painfully. A call to activate his rays was met with a low fuel warning. Allowing himself a brief moment of mourning for his dignity, he turned and sang his dentae into Megatron's hand. The fragger let go, optics wide in surprise.
Starscream took off before he could be grabbed again. His wing stung, and he landed as soon as he felt safe. Then, he leaned against a tree and braced himself. Using the trunk as leverage, he bent the wing back into its proper shape.
The world went blurry at the edges. Starscream curled up, his fans clicking on to combat the stress-induced heat burning his body. He gave in to temptation and sunk his dentae into his arm, the pain pulling him from what was surely about to become a spiral. This pain was the kind he could control—one of the few things only he could do to himself.
He allowed himself to drift into recharge.
☆☆☆
{Alert! Fuel levels low!}
The message brought him out of recharge. He grumbled irritably and pulled a cube of energeon out of his cockpit. Except… his hands came back empty. He didn't have any.
Fear seized his spark, but he pushed it away. He couldn't panic now. If he did, he'd be dead. Starscream forced himself to rise, fighting his system's demands that he lay down to conserve fuel. He took off, thrusters suppressed by his protocols to the point that they barely supported him.
Starscream shuddered. If he were caught now, he wouldn't be able to defend himself. He activated a long-inactive protocol, seeking anything that was even vaguely similar to energeon. His systems found something nearby.
He landed as quietly as possible in front of a long-buried cave entrance. He scratched at the rocks until an opening just large enough for him to crawl through was made. On the other side, energeon crystals greeted him.
They were covered in dust, which was not unexpected. They were also full of impurities, their color a dull, barely-glowing blue rather than a bright cyan. He had no means to process them, but he had dentae, so he bit.
The crystal gave under his dentae and was slowly ground between them. The taste was different from processed energeon, but anything would've tasted amazing with how low Starscream's fuel levels were. He would just have to hope his systems could process the energeon crystals for him.
He stuffed as many crystals as he could in his cockpit before succumbing to his system's calls for him to conserve energy and enter recharge. When he roused later, the low fuel alert was gone. He'd done it! His body could process the crystals!
His optics lit the cave dimly. It was spacious and full of crystals. There were no humans, Autobots, or Decepticons around. Maybe he could stay…
He drifted back into recharge.
☆☆☆
The crystals sustained him for a long time relative to his other finds, but they were not infinite. With an empty cavern behind him and the remaining crystals in his cockpit, he took to the sky and searched for a new fuel source.
His mission was brutally interrupted when an object triggered his proximity sensors. He swerved away from it, but it was too late. In a dizzying crash, he was sent spinning onto the ground. His side burned, and the hand pressed to it came back stained. As he pulled himself to his pedes, using the trunk of a tree as support, his wings twitched and sent a wave of agony down his back.
How had he been caught so off guard?
Voices came from nearby. Starscream didn't bother figuring out his pursuers' identities; they were Autobots or their human allies, any further details didn't matter. He attempted to transform and was met with an error.
"Frag," he muttered.
He was too damaged at a seam for the transformation to complete, so his systems denied attempts completely. There would be no flying out of this. He ran in the only direction he couldn't hear voices. Still, they followed him, the crashing of wheels against foliage assaulting his audials.
They would catch up to him. He would be caught, imprisoned forever, laughed at—
He pulled himself out of that line of thought and searched for a place to hide. The only thing large enough to provide cover was a clump of rocks, so he threw himself behind them. The crashing passed by him as he sat perfectly still, running the command to shut off his fans on repeat to ensure they didn't automatically turn on.
The forest was silent when he finally deemed it safe to move. The Autobots had left long ago, but he still searched for any sign of them. When the search came up empty, he allowed his fans to click back on.
{Alert! Fuel levels low!}
Starscream froze. Of course! How did he forget that he was actively losing energeon? Frag! He had nothing to treat himself with!
He settled for shoving dirt and debris into his wounds until they stopped bleeding. It was disgusting and his systems chastised him for it with foreign contaminant errors, but what else could he do?
He still had some of the crystals from the cave, but those wouldn't replenish him quickly enough. Hissing in displeasure, he reactivated his energeon-seeking protocol. It found nothing nearby, much to his disappointment. So, he kept moving. Eventually, he reached a small human settlement.
All of the squishies were asleep, which left him free to do whatever he pleased as long as he was quiet. Starscream paused as he found a vehicle with a large tank on it. It was fuel for the humans' primitive transportation, a disgusting and smelly substance he'd had the displeasure of getting covered in during some fights in the past.
If it could fuel the humans' vehicles, could it fuel a cybertronian?
There was no better time to try. He ripped the tank open and drank, trying to pay as little attention to the taste and texture as possible. The fuel settled strangely in his tank, tempting him to clutch his abdomen. He resisted the urge, grimacing at the heavy and unpleasant feeling.
Lacking the energy to go far, Starscream dragged himself back into the woods. He laid against a fallen tree and slipped into recharge. With any luck, he would be fine when he woke.
☆☆☆
Starscream was not fine when he woke. He roused slowly, pain greeting him like an old friend before a betrayal. It intensified quickly, leaving him curled up in a whining ball within moments. He bit his arm to silence himself.
{Alert! Foreign contaminant! Location:—}
The list was long. Starscream could barely decipher it through the pain. His fans were already on, fighting pointlessly to cool him as his systems strained. His frame shook, plating rattling.
"Starscream?"
No, no! He'd been discovered—
A gentle hand landed on his side. Starscream recoiled, muffling a groan. Maybe they'd leave him to die instead of taking him prisoner. He could hope.
"It's me," the mech said quietly.
Starscream couldn't speak. All that came from him was static. He squirmed, trying to get a better view of the mech. It was difficult to make anything out through the haze of pain, but he had a guess.
"Blitz… Bli…"
"Yes," Blitzwing said quietly. "It's me. You'll be okay. Just… stay there."
He couldn't move even if he tried. Blitzwing withdrew, then, eons later, returned. Another set of pedesteps accompanied his.
"Eugh," the other mech said, cringing backward.
"Knock Out," Blitzwing said.
"Just… wow," Knock Out said. "This is… sweet Primus!"
"Knock Out."
"I can try, but there's really no fixing this," Knock Out said.
Embarrassment flooded Starscream's processor, kept from consuming him only by the pain. How must he look to these two mechs? Battered, covered in dirt and dust, the paint peeled off his arms?
Knock Out got to work, scrubbing the dirt off of his wounds. Starscream let out an embarrassing squeal when the medic finally reached the damaged metal. On the other side of him, Blitzwing gently worked his arm free from his jaws, handing Starscream yet another embarrassing revelation—he had somehow started biting himself again.
Blitzwing arranged Starscream's hands in front of him, arms extended, and traced patterns in his palms. He hummed some sort of tune, occasionally singing a word or two. Something about tiny spiders.
Eventually, the medic placed patches on the wounds and sighed. "There's something else going on, but I don't know what it is."
Blitzwing paused. "If you guessed?"
"Fuel poisoning, energeon line contamination," Knock Out said, waving a hand. "But we'd have to take him in for that."
"No…" Starscream muttered.
They couldn't take him! Then he'd be locked away, left to rot, laughed at—
Blitzwing traced patterns on Starscream's palms again, distracting him from his thoughts. The new clarity brought confusion with it. Knock Out had defected after Megatron surrendered. Why was Blitzwing…?
Starscream glanced at Blitzwing's chest, flinching backward when he saw the symbol. Blitzwing frowned at him.
"We can't bring him back to the Autobots," Blitzwing said. "We'd be turning him in."
Knock Out hummed. "A mech of his model should've offlined far before now, but this is Starscream. I can give him nanites and pain relief. It won't fix it, but it'll give him a better chance on his own."
As Knock Out prepared the nanites, Blitzwing sighed and said, "Anything is better than turning him in."
The nanites were injected with a pinch between his neck plating. Afterward, Knock Out placed the pain patches. They took effect immediately. Starscream relaxed as the pain faded to a dull ache.
Then, Starscream flung himself upward, initiating a transformation. This time, there were no errors to stop him from flying away.
☆☆☆
The pain didn't go away, but it did lessen. Starscream exited each recharge sore and tired, but he refused to surrender. The last of the energeon crystals were still tucked in his cockpit, nibbled on between whatever he could find that wouldn't kill him. Everything had impurities—it was just a matter of which would frag him up the least.
He could've eaten all of the crystals, sure, but something in the back of his processor rebelled at the idea. If he couldn't find any organic slag, then what would he have left? Nothing, and he would starve. It was better to save them.
So, he found himself sticking closer and closer to human settlements, unwilling to go without fuel for long. Human fuel—aside from its ache-inducing impurities—burned much faster than energeon. He was adept at avoiding the squishies by this point.
He ripped open the tank of a truck, listening carefully as he drank. The noise would attract the humans at any moment, so he had to move quickly. A shout from nearby made him jump, but just as he prepared to take off, the human spoke again.
"Wait! I have energeon!"
Starscream paused. This human had energeon? How? Why?
They disappeared as Starscream stared in disbelief, then returned with a glowing cube. They offered it to him slowly, like he were a frightened mechanimal. Starscream took the cube.
"Why do you have this?" He asked.
"I have some cybertronian friends," the human said. "I like to keep a little bit around for them."
Starscream backed away. Cybertronians? Friends with a human? That could only mean one thing: Autobots.
"No, no!" The human yelled. "Don't leave! I'm not going to report you. I just… They put all sorts of stuff out on the news, so I decided that if I ever saw you, I'd help."
"Why?"
The human fidgeted anxiously. "W-well, I know a lot about cybertronians, from my friends. I know that you're not supposed to be… drinking that."
Starscream's wings fanned out threateningly. "Are you implying I can't take care of myself?"
"No!" The human said, waving their hands. "You're doing a good job. I just wanna make it easier."
Starscream's optics narrowed as he glared at the human. They stood straight despite their nervousness. There was no fear within them in regards to their life, that much was clear. What did Starscream have to lose?
"A foolish endeavor," Starscream said. "I will leave here and run out again. One cube of energeon will not change my life. You're wasting your resources."
"But it'll make things easier for you tonight," the human said quietly. "And you can come back."
Starscream laughed. "And risk getting caught by the Autobots? I'd rather starve."
He took off, leaving the strangely brave human behind.
☆☆☆
Starscream was jolted from recharge by a wave of pain, a foreign contaminant alert following it. He rolled onto his other side and tried to reenter recharge, but it was futile. With an irritated sigh, he sat up, slouching from the pain. It intensified and he sank his dentae into his arm plating on instinct to keep from crying out.
He curled in on himself. Just as the pain began to lessen, muffled voices traveled through the forest. Starscream froze. Autobots, Decepticons, or humans—it didn't matter. He needed to flee.
Starscream leaped into the air, initiating a transformation sequence after he cleared the trees. He pushed as much power into his thrusters as his systems would afford, aiming to put as much distance between himself and the intruders as possible. Then, finally…
{Alert! Fuel levels low!}
Starscream landed on the border of a human settlement. He ripped open the nearest vehicle, finding its fuel tank easily. Like always, it settled uncomfortably in his tank, the taste repugnant. If he had any other option…
The annoyingly brave human came to mind. Hadn't they offered to give him more if he returned? Perhaps, he could—just this one time. Starscream took off again, destination set.
When he landed, the area was empty. The lights in the house were off. Then, one of them flicked on. A silhouette moved in the window, jumping when it turned toward him. It disappeared. A few moments later, the human came through the door.
"You came back," the human said. They offered him a cube of energeon. "Here."
Starscream took the cube. He prepared to take off, but was interrupted.
"Please!" The human said. "Stay. Just for a little bit. You can sit in the backyard."
He shouldn't, but what did he have to lose? The human hadn't reported him before. Maybe they had more energeon. He followed them to the backyard, moving carefully to avoid stepping on anything. The backyard was a small treeless patch with a pool on one side and a small, mesh-covered structure on the other.
A creature crawled through a tiny door on the already quite small door into the mesh structure, gazing at Starscream with wide eyes. Starscream stared back, slowly recognizing the creature: a cat. It seemed familiar.
"What is that?" Starscream asked, motioning toward the structure.
"The cat or the catio?" The human said.
"Catio?" Starscream repeated. "An odd name."
"Cat, patio—catio," the human said. "It lets Fergie go outside without getting hurt. He used to live in the woods. I didn't want to take that away from him."
Fergie stared out at the woods, giant mech and tiny human forgotten.
"But you did," Starscream said.
"He can still see the woods," the human said. "Hear the birds, feel the wind. But he can't hurt any animals and they can't hurt him."
Starscream hummed. Fergie's ears turned toward the noise. Then, the cat moved to the corner of the catio, staring at him again.
"What have you been doing?" The human asked. "Other than acting like a habituated bear, I mean."
Habituated bear? Starscream didn't know enough to tell whether or not that was an insult.
"Surviving," Starscream said.
What was there to do? He flew from place to place, seeking fuel and avoiding threats, then recharged when he was suitably safe. There was little time for anything else.
Movement in the corner of his vision drew Starscream's attention. He turned toward the source—his own reflection in the pool. The mech that stared back at him was a horrid, dirty mess. Its colors—what little were visible through the grime—were dull. He stared at it.
Who was he? What had he let himself become? Some sort of wild, filth-ridden creature?
"Hey."
The human.
"What is it?" Starscream asked.
The human had a small object in its hand. Water spewed from the tip of it.
"You can use my hose," the human said. "If that would help."
He was embarrassingly obvious, wasn't he? Starscream sighed and took the hose. It was a tiny thing, the spray surprisingly intense for its size. Despite that, cleaning himself took entirely too long. When he finished, the reflection that stared back at him was still unrecognizable, but it was slightly less revolting.
"Woah," the human said quietly.
"What?" Starscream asked.
"Your colors are really pretty."
Starscream huffed. "They'd be prettier if I had a shower and consistent access to energeon."
"Well, I can give you one of those, if you keep visiting," the human said, smiling sheepishly.
"Maybe I will."
☆☆☆
The visits became regular after that. His ever-present aches became bearable, then eventually only attacked him on occasion. The world was brighter, his frame lighter—knowing he no longer had to search for his own energeon made everything much easier.
It was on his way to visit the human again that he found him. After firing his rays, Starscream dove at Megatron, aiming to crush the other mech. Massive hands caught him and flung him away.
Using his thrusters to orient himself, Starscream landed on his feet. He aimed his rays at Megatron, threatening to fire them. The brute scrutinized him, optics narrowing.
"You look better," Megatron said.
"And you're as ugly as you always are," Starscream said.
Megatron rolled his eyes and stepped forward. Starscream charged his rays, but the brute closed the gap too quickly, wrenching his arms away so that the rays fired harmlessly into the air. With a hiss, Starscream pulled an arm loose and swung his claws at Megatron's face, aiming for his optics.
Megatron stumbled backward, releasing Starscream to clutch at his face. Starscream jumped away and charged his rays. Before Megatron could recover, he fired. With the power he had now, the shot would leave a mark!
The smoke cleared. Megatron stood before him, the plating on his chest dented and charred. Starscream grinned.
With some energeon in his system, the fight was much more evenly matched than before. They swirled, exchanging blows not quite meant to kill but certainly meant to come close. The fight halted when Starscream struck Megatron's face again, digging his claws into an optic and wrenching them deep.
Megatron threw Starscream off of him, face contorting with rage. His intact optic burned. The broken one sparked.
"Starscream!" Megatron spat.
Starscream readied a retort, but froze. A quiet hum traveled through his plating.
It couldn't be—
Megatron raised his arm. The cannon glowed.
Everything went white.
{Error—}
The ground was blurry, his hands in front of him.
{Error—}
Notifications flooded him. He forced himself to look past the noise. A hand closed around his arm and pulled him upward, ripping a scream out of his vocalizer as his body burned.
If he gave in now, he would die. Megatron was going to kill him.
He had to escape. Starscream kicked his pedes and activated a transformation sequence. He was met with an error. One of his seams—it didn't matter. He overrode the process, forcing the change.
The hands holding him were forced away by the transformation. Starscream flew as fast as he could. There was one place he could go.
Another error message. The world spun around him, pain and dizziness overcoming him. He crashed into the trees, leaving broken trunks in his path.
Where was he? He pushed himself onto his knees. Just ahead! He knew that structure!
Starscream dragged himself toward it. Then, finally…
He collapsed facedown.
"Oh, shit."
Energeon coated his hands.
"Oh, fuck."
They were here. He could rest now.
It would be alright.