Chapter Text
For the first time it was Rohan who woke Seff up. She jolted upright in her chair and looked around, weary for only a minute before her ears perked up fully and her eyes opened all the way.
"Hi," she said.
"Hi," Rohan replied. "What's up?"
"I was sleeping."
"You were snoring."
"I was?" Seff asked.
"Yeah. You snore loud."
"Sorry. Is that why you woke me up?"
"Nah." Rohan shuffled on her feet. "I got bored."
"You want to play a game?"
"No. I want to ask you a question."
"Oh. Okay," Seff said. "Ask away."
"You said yester- a bit ago that Rory offered to help find my parents. Is that true?"
"Mhm. Do you want to go ask him?"
Rohan fidgeted. "Yes."
"We can do that, then. Let's go now, if you're feeling up to it."
"But," Rohan continued, "if they don't find them, I'm going to give up."
"What?"
"You heard me," she said. "If they're gone, they're gone, and maybe they come back and come looking for me someday, but I was thinking, when I woke up, and I don't think I can spend all the rest of my life looking for them. Especially 'cause they're probably dead." She sounded remarkably flippant about the whole thing; Seff looked her up and down.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"So what does that mean?" Seff asked. "Are you going to go off on your own?"
"Will you stop me?"
Her eyes were wide and brown and steady.
"Do you want to leave?"
Rohan didn't respond.
"It's okay if you do," Seff said. She saw her lip quiver, just for a moment; she wasn't sure if, in the flickering light of the fire, she had imagined it, until Rohan spoke again and she heard her voice nearly break.
"If I wanted to, I'd be gone by now."
"I understand," Seff said. "Does that mean you're staying with me?"
"As long as I can," Rohan said.
"Of course you can. My door is—it's open to you, no matter what happens, okay? And if we find your parents, I'd love to meet with them, too."
Rohan nodded. "Should we go, then?"
"Yeah," Seff replied, and got to her feet. "Do you have the lantern?"
Rohan grabbed the backpack and lantern from where Seff had left them, in bed beside her. She pushed the backpack towards Seff, a bit too weak to fully lift it. Seff took it and put it on, then took the lantern and lit it.
"Do you want to hold it?" she asked. Rohan nodded; she handed the lantern back to her, and they left the cabin together.
The walk to the store was becoming nearly familiar; they followed their own footsteps, climbed the hill with confidence, and no longer slipped. The moon lit a clean path ahead, intermittently marked by the print of Seff's boots. The only sounds were their own shoes on the ice, their labored breathing, and the faint rustle of trees in the distance; the air smelled icy and sharp. Seff tasted, as she often did, blood. She was cold, but that was a given.
When they reached the store, the door did not slide open, and the lights were off. Seff guessed Rory had shut off the generator for a time, and so she grabbed Rohan's hand and carefully led her through the broken glass storefront. A jagged edge grazed her ear; though it barely touched her, she felt warm blood trickle down the side of her head and flinched.
She hoped Rory was still inside. She held Rohan's hand tightly and called out for him; no response.
"Do you think we should go back into the storeroom?" she asked.
Rohan shrugged. "Maybe we wait?"
"Alright," Seff said. "You want to eat?"
Rohan nodded. "Yeah. I'll go get some hay," she said, and darted off; Seff followed close behind.
"Be careful," she reminded her.
"I will," Rohan replied.
Seff crouched by the pallet of hay and watched intently as Rohan picked through the pile, holding the lantern up to each bunch she grabbed to inspect for signs of moisture or rot. She seemed satisfied with the small bundle she'd collected after a few minutes, and ate it all quickly.
"I didn't know you were that hungry," Seff noted.
"Neither did I. You hungry?"
Seff shook her head. "Not really."
Things were silent for a moment. The lantern flickered softly, as did the long shadows it cast across the tile floor. Rohan set it down and stood up straight. With Seff crouched beside her, even at full height she still only came to about three-quarters of her size. She looked, Seff thought, small and fragile and slightly afraid, but with a steadfastness to her expression that was difficult to reconcile. It seemed foolish. She supposed survival required one to be a bit foolish.
"Do you think there are still farms?" Rohan asked.
"There have to be, right?" Seff replied. "Someone out there's got to be doing it."
"Maybe."
"We're not gonna run out of food. There's a lot of food out there."
"Everything's a cycle. That's what killed the dinosaurs, you know? All the dust and smoke blotted out the sun for so long all the plants died, and then all the animals died."
"They didn't have grow lamps," Seff said. "And not everything died. Some life persisted, you know?"
"Yeah, but the sun came back, eventually. The clouds blew away."
"Maybe it'll come back this time, too."
"Is that a promise?"
"If it was, would I have said 'maybe'?" Seff asked.
"I don't know. You're supposed to know this stuff. You're a grown-up."
"You should know by now that grown-ups are completely clueless about most things," Seff said. "Me especially. You should've found a better grown-up if you wanted good answers."
"You were the only one there."
"Fair enough."
Rohan shifted a bit where she stood.
"Bored already?" Seff asked.
"We should probably look for Rory, right?"
"Sure. If you're okay with going in the dark again."
"If there's no other option."
"Doesn't look like there is." Seff stood and took Rohan's paw. The door to the storage room was just across the store, tall and gray and relatively unassuming. "Ready?" she asked, taking long strides towards it.
"I'll close my eyes and hold on this time. And I'll try not to think of anything."
Seff swallowed hard and pushed open the door.