Chapter 1: HT 1
Chapter Text
Blooper 1
Wayne and Wanda’s wolf pups burst in through the front door of the hotel. They run over the guests, jump on the piano, and steal luggage. One of the pups notices the camera, sniffs at it, and then bites so that the shot is of the inside of its mouth. Then, it releases it and lifts a leg up to wet on it
Director: NO! No, not on the camera! CUT!!
Blooper 2
The monsters are in the hotel lobby after arriving. A small spider weaves its way down in front of Drac.
Spider: We’re ready!
As the spider goes back up, camera reveals the weaved words on the web. But instead of “Happy Birthday Mavis” it says “Bleh-bleh-bleh!” Dracula’s jaw drops open and his friends laugh
Drac: Alright, who put the spider up to this? Huh? I demand to know! I do not say bleh-bleh-bleh!
Dracula groans as nobody is particularly listening to him and finding his complaints funny
Drac: I’ll be in my trailer
The Count stomps away angrily while his friends, still laughing, try to convince him to come back.
Wayne: No, Drac, wait!
Frank: It was just a joke, buddy, lighten up!
Blooper 3
Dracula and Johnny are inside of the hotel’s storage closet.
Johnny: Wow! This room’s kind of small for a big castle. No bed, but check out these awesome dustpans they give you.
Dracula: Quiet, you fool! What weapons are you keeping in this container? Your pitchforks...?
He goes through Johnny’s backpack and pulls out one of his T-shirts. Dracula smells it, and recoils.
Dracula: Ohhh! I can’t breathe! It’s killing me!!
He then gags and offscreen is heard vomiting.
Johnny: It is due for a fluff and fold, but it’s not that bad!
Director: Cut!
Blooper 4 - take one
Dracula and Johnny are inside the hotel storage room.
Johnny: Woah! Check out these costumes!
Dracula: Costumes!
Drac grabs Johnny and hauls him offscreen. A shot of the outside of the room is shown as rustling about inside is heard. The door opens a moment later and the pair come out, with Johnny costumed as a vampire with a cape, sleeked hair, and fake fangs
Johnny (with a Transylvanian accent): Check it out, I’m a vamp dude, bleh-bleh-bleh!
Drac (angrily): No, no, no, cut! Cut the scene!
Johnny: Wait, why? What’s wrong?
Drac: What’s wrong is that I don’t say ‘bleh-bleh-bleh’! No vampire does!
Johnny: Huh. All right, I guess we could try another monster
Drac: Yes, PLEASE
Blooper 4 - take two
Outside of the storage room is shown again. The door opens a moment later and Drac and Johnny come out. This time, Johnny is wrapped up in toilet paper from head to toe and is having difficulty walking.
Johnny: Check it out, I’m a mummy man!
Tries to take a few more steps but trips. Dracula groans.
Drac: Cut!
Johnny (from down on the floor): I think we should try the Frankenhomie, to be honest
Blooper 5
Johnny is in the hotel lobby realizing that all the guests are actual monsters. When he goes to scream, he gets into a coughing fit
Johnny (in a raspy voice): Oh man, sorry about that guys, I was practicing the scream all morning and now I threw out my voice
He briefly grabs a bottle of water to drink.
Johnny: Okay, I think I’m good now, let’s take again!
Blooper 6
Johnny, Drac, and monster guests are in the hotel lobby. Clapstick comes down on clapboard.
Director: Action!
Johnny slips on Blobby’s slime and accidentally gets a ride on the witch’s magic broomstick. He knocks into several things as he flies around the lobby, including one of the cameras which gets knocked down. More equipment can be heard being crashed into as other cameras and wires fall as Johnny gets flung offscreen
Johnny: Ow! Sorry about the cameras, guys, I can pay for that!
Director: Cut!
Blooper 7
Dracula and Johnny are walking through the catacombs of the hotel.
Dracula: I’m not down here much. It’s meant to be an exit if the humans ever invade
Johnny: Oh, so I’m, like, the first human here, huh? That’s really cool
Dracula reaches another secret door and pulls the lever to open it.
Dracula: Okay, I think this is it.
He opens the door, but on the other side sees the Drac Pack on break and having lunch.
Wayne [to the friends]: … so I told him, ‘you’d better give me back my frisbee, or else I’ll’ -
He stops mid sentence as he notices Drac and Johnny
Wayne: Oh, whoops! Are we supposed to be on?
Frank: I thought it was supposed to be for the next scene!
Drac: Oops, yes, sorry! My mistake. Wrong door, I’ll catch you guys in five once we retake this scene
Director: Cut!
Blooper 8
Clapboard in front of the screen and then the clapstick comes down.
Director: Action!
Frank (to his right arm): You have a cousin?
Dracula: Frank, if your arm could talk, it would tell you that the original owner of your arm had a brother, who married a woman, who was (makes a killing gesture) for strangling a pig!
Director: Cut!
Drac: What? What was wrong with that?
Johnny: Drac, half of those lines I was supposed to say!
Drac: So?
Frank: You have to follow the script, buddy
Drac: Alright, alright, whatever
Blooper 9
Johnny: I can’t believe I’m leaving, man. I could’ve been so great! Dude, you ruined everything! Suck my blood? I should’ve said, “I’m staying old man!” Give him a Bruce Lee kick. Boom! Right in the the -
Camera pans over to show Drac standing there with his arms crossed and startles Johnny
Johnny: AAAH! Drac! Oh my God, don’t kill me! I’m leaving! (runs away)
Director: Cut! You’re not supposed to be in the rest of this scene, Drac
Drac: (laughs) I know, I know, I just wanted to mess with him
Blooper 10
Dracula bursts into the kitchen where Quasimodo is going to cook Johnny
Quasimodo: Bonjour, Monsieur Dracula!
Drac: Shut your hump hole
Drac removes Johnny’s ties and frees him
Quasimodo: Now you are helping him? What is it with you and this human?
Dracula: He’s not a human, he’s a Stain!
Johnny: That’s right, little man! I’m a…
He pauses, realizing what Dracula said.
Johnny: Wait, a ‘stain’? What does that mean?
Laughter is heard and Dracula facepalms
Dracula: I mean a Stein! He’s a… [sighs] Can we redo that scene?
Director: Cut!
Blooper 11
Winnie is presented Johnny’s shirt, and she inhales
Winnie: He got into a car. 86’ FIat. Needs a little transmission work, but otherwise okay. It drove through town to the airport. Flight 497. 8:00 am departure.
Dracula: That’s in 15 minutes!
Winnie: Seat 23A. He ordered the vegetarian meal - scrambled egg whites from cage-free hens, seasoned with pinches of salt and pepper, with a side of toast that was slightly burned and then topped with homemade maple syrup. The drink was a cappuccino with an extra shot of espresso and topped with 3 ounces of whipped cream. All a total of 453 calories, 20 of which have already been burned.
Dracula: Okay, cutie, I think that was enough (laughs and the directors laugh too)
Winnie: Do you want to know what the other passengers had?
Wayne: It’s okay, WInnie, we’ll try the scene again, but this time just stop at ‘vegetarian meal’ okay?
Winnie: Okay, pop!
Wayne (to director): Okay, we’re good!
Blooper 12
Hearse is driving down the road. A sheep is seen standing in the middle
Dracula: SHEEP!
Griffin turns the wheel sharply and drives off of the road. The hearse barrels down the hillside. It continues to drive down until it reaches the next road on the cliff, only, the hearse breaks through the railing and the hearse falls off the cliff completely. Screams are heard from the monsters
Director: Ooo, cut! Someone call medic!
Blooper 13
Mavis is sitting next to the window. Dracula as a bat is about to fly in, but instead crashes into glass. Mavis looks over surprised.
Mavis: Dad?
Director: Oops, forgot to remove the screen on the window. Retake!
Blooper 14
Mavis and Dracula are in the former’s room.
Dracula: You know, Mommy already gave you your birthday present. Can I now give you mine?
He picks up Johnny’s backpack to show her.
Mavis: What do I need this for?
Drac: Oh, it comes with an accessory!
He turns the backpack around, but Johnny isn’t there.
Drac: Huh? Johnny, where did you go?
The backpack unzips and Johnny pokes his head out.
Johnny: Oh, I’m right here! Did I miss my cue?
Dracula groans.
Drac: Johnny, you weren’t supposed to be in the backpack, you were supposed to be hanging from the outside of the backpack!
Johnny: I think popping out from the inside is cooler!
Drac (threateningly): JOHNNY…
Johnny: All right, all right, chill, we can do a retake. I’ll be outside this time, okay?
Dracula rolls his eyes and the director cuts
Chapter 2: HT 2
Chapter Text
Blooper 1
Everyone is at the wedding reception of Johnny and Mavis. Dracula pulls out his ukulele to sing for them
Dracula (singing): And you’ll always be my moonlight, but now on wings of love you soar, now that you’re Johnny’s g -
Suddenly, one of the strings breaks midsong
Drac: You’ve got to be kidding me!
Director: Cut!
Dracula groans.
Drac: I told you we should have gotten a brand new one!
Frank: But Drac, it is new! I think maybe it’s your fingernails. You ever thought of cutting them down?
Drac: It’s never been a problem before!
Murray (whispering to the camera): He’s in denial!
Blooper 2
Dennis is held up by the monster doctor and Drac, dressed as a nurse, grabs the baby
Drac (in a female voice): Oh! It’s a boy! It’s a boy! The Dracula bloodline carries on!
Suddenly, his bouncing around causes the blonde wig to come off of his head and for the watermelons in his chest fall out and splat on the ground.
Drac (still in female voice): Uh OH! Ehh… clean up on aisle 1!
Director: Cut!
Blooper 3
Dennis, Drac, and the Drac Pack are inside the hearse. Clapstick comes down on clapboard.
Director: Action!
Drac: You see, Denisovich, monsters are nice, just like you! But when the moon comes out, the real monster fun begins: being scary! Right guys?
Drac’s friends are busy listening to “Worth It” by Fifth Harmony. Drac shuts off the music.
Drac: Guys! What is wrong with you?
Frank: Come on, everybody likes that song.
Drac: We’re not ‘everybody.’ We’re scary monsters, remember?
Dracula puts in a new CD
Griffin: Hey, what are you putting in?
Dracula: It’s an audiobook! “Bigfoot’s Life Story” he reads it himself.
Dracula presses play, but instead of the book it plays Fifth Harmony’s other song “I’m In Love With a Monster” The pack starts to dance to that song instead as Dracula groans.
Murray: Woah! Bigfoot’s got some groove! A real taste for music, for sure!
Drac: What?! NO! That’s not the right one! UGHHH…
Director: Cut!
Blooper 4
The Drac Pack is in the woods with Dennis.
Wayne: Listen, I’m not gonna set monsters back again just to make your grandkid like vampires. Anyway, there’s nothing to kill here. It’s all been -
Suddenly, they hear a noise and out of the shrubs comes Elliot from Open Season along with Boog.
Elliot: Huh? Oh, no, no Boog, I told you there were hunters on this side of the forest!
Boog: Relax, El, I’ll handle this. (clears his throat and speaks to directors). Our mistake folks, nothing to see here, we’ll just be on our way
The pair exit through the shrubs and the director calls for a cut
Blooper 5
Dennis, Dracula, and the Drac Pack are on top of the rickety tower in Camp Winnepecaca.
Dennis: I wanna fly now!
Dracula: Atta-bat! You know Papa’s right here if you need him.
Griffin: Ugh, I can’t watch this
Murray: Please don’t
Dracula: Here… we…. Go!
Dracula throws Dennis off of the tower. The monsters all lean over the edge to watch him go down. Suddenly, a large cracking sound in the wood is heard. The monsters eyes all widen as they realize what is about to happen, and then they all fall down screaming as the tower breaks beneath them.
Frank (fading): I knew coming up here was not a very good ideaaaaa!
Director: Cut!
Blooper 6
Dracula, the pack, Dennis, Mavis, and Johnny are all outside the front of the hotel.
Dennis: Mommy, I flew!
Mavis (angrily): I saw
She pulls out the phone and starts to play the Dracula Remix from YouTube. Blobby begins to dance, and Murray begins to bop his head too.
Murray: It really does have a catchy beat, Blobster!
The mummy begins to dance, influencing the other monsters to dance too. Drac crosses his arms
Drac: Are you kidding me right now?!
Director: Cut!
Blooper 7
Monsters are at Dennis’s party. Kakie is being introduced to Drac. Clapstick comes down on clapboard.
Director: Action!
Brandon: Hey man
Drac: Nauseated to meet you
Brandon: So when does this happen? I got a book fair in half an hour
Suddenly the doors open up widely from the other end of the room and Vlad appears. The camera zooms in, but zooms in too fast so it hits him in the head.
Vlad: Ow!
Cameraman: Sorry Mr. Vlad sir!
Vlad: Yeah, you should be, Shlumpy! One more mistake outta you and you’ll be dinner tonight!
Director: He doesn’t really mean that
Vlad (turning to speak to the camera): And I do mean it too!
Chapter 3: HT 3 Summer Vacation
Chapter Text
Blooper 1
Clapstick comes down in front of screen. Dracula and the monsters are in shawls on the train
Director: Action!
Dracula: Thank you, young (pauses mid sentence since he is speaking in regular voice and coughs to clear his throat and speak more feminine) OH oh, I mean, thank you young man!
His pals beside him laugh
Drac: Sorry guys, I had a frog in my throat
At this, Dracula literally coughs up a frog from his throat who, covered in saliva and shaken, quickly hops offscreen
Director: Cut!
Blooper 2
Dracula and the monsters are running on top of the train. They reach the end of the last boxcar where they see Van Helsing approaching. Dracula gets ready to push them off
Drac: Sorry guys!
He shoves them, but his cape gets caught up on a loose wrapping of Murray. They all end up falling off of the train together as Drac screams along with them
Director: Cut!
Blooper 3
Drac and Frankenginger are on the dance floor. Dracula changes the music of the DJ booth to the rock song. Frankenginger releases Drac.
Frankenginger: Oh! I love this song! (begins to dance around then notices that Drac is gone) Dracula? Oh, where did he go… Dracula!
Dracula hides with his friends behind Bigfoot
Frankenstien: What’s a matter Drac, you didn’t like her?
Griffin: No offense, but you haven’t had a date in over a hundred years. You can’t be too picky
Drac: Look, guys, I appreciate your concern, but -
Frankenginger suddenly appears right next to Drac
Frankenginger: There you are!
Drac: ACK! Get her away from me!
Begins to run off with Frankenginger after him. The guys laugh.
Frankenginger: Dracy-poo, wait up!
Director: Cut!
Blooper 4
Clapstick comes down on the clapboard
Director: Action!
Ericka swings herself down from the mast of the ship and lands atop the other mast
Ericka: Ahoy there! Welcome aboard!
Director: Uh, Ericka, you’re facing the wrong way
She realizes she is in the wrong direction and turns around to face the camera
Ericka: Oops, there you are! Ahoy!
Director: Yeah, I think we’re going to have to do that take again
Ericka: (laughs) Right, right, sorry!
Blooper 5
Ericka walks up to the portrait of her great-grandfather
Ericka: You were so right great-grandfather. Monsters are disgusting!
Van Helsing: They’re animals!
Van Helsing appears out of the shadows and begins to wheel himself over very slowly. His engine stops and he is unable to get it back started again.
Van Helsing: Uh-oh… (looks to the crew behind the cameras) A little help here?
Director: Cut!
Blooper 6
Dracula stands up at the very edge of The Legacy in the front bow with his arms outspread in a pose similar to Titanic.
Dracula: I’m the king of the world!
Vlad (offscreen): Yeah, more like the king of room service!
Laughter is heard and Dracula crosses his arms, upset
Dracula: OKAY DAD, THANK YOU
Blooper 7
Dracula and Blobby are on the boat and dancing to “24K Magic” by Bruno Mars. Ericka comes up in the ship’s ventilation pipe and fires out a flare from a gun. It heads in their direction, until Dracula and Blobby both step out of the way to reveal the small Gremlin character from Hotel Transylvania 1 and 2. She opens her mouth widely and swallows the flare in one big gulp. The music stops and they all stare surprised at the little monster. She shrugs.
Gremlin lady: I didn’t do that!
Director: Cut!
Blooper 8
Monsters on the boat right after scuba diving. Drac’s friends notice Ericka’s approach.
Frank: Here she comes!
Griffin: All right, Drac, hit it!
Dracula: YOUR COFFIN WRAPPINGS ARE IN A NICE PART, WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE MY NECK?!
Ericka: I think you got the script a little mixed up there
Murray: Yeah she’s right, I’m looking at the page right now!
Drac: Okay, okay, cut!
Blooper 9
Dracula and Ericka are shooting the date scene. Clapstick comes down.
Director: Action!
Dracula grabs at his stomach
Dracula: Oh… eh… er, there must have been eh garlic in the Guacamole
Ericka: Oh, no! Is that deadly for you?
Dracula: No, no it’s just that I’m… garlic intolerant
Instead of a toot however, Drac belches
Drac: Oops!
Director: Cut!
Drac looks sheepish as he explains
Drac: Sorry, I forgot I had those spicy scorpion tacos for lunch. I’ll get it right next take, don’t worry
Blooper 10
Tango scene with the booby traps is happening. The large mace falls on top of him. A moment passes and we hear his muffled voice
Drac: Okay, this is actually heavier than I thought. Can someone help lift this off of me?!
Director: Cut!
The Kraken’s tentacle enters the screen and lifts the mace, where we then see a flattened Drac on the stairs.
Dracula (wavery): Thank you.
Blooper 11
Van Helsing and the other monsters are on top of the destroyed dance floor.
Van Helsing: I’m sorry…
After a moment, Tinkles begins to lick him hard. Then, by mistake, the giant puppy swallows Van Helsing on one of his licks.
Director: Cut!
Ericka: Great-grandfather!
Dennis: Tinkles!
Drac: No, bad dog! Drop him, drop him now!
TInkles gives a sorrowful look and quickly spills Van Helsing out. He is covered in slobber
Van Helsing (wiping the slime off of himself): Eeegghh, dog breath
Blooper 12
Dracula is on the hotel rooftop with Ericka
Dracula: I was wondering if you would marry me
Opens the box, but there is no ring inside. Eyes widen and he looks around
Dracula: What the… where is it? Jerry?!
Jerry, the ring spider, crawls onto the roof eating a fly.
Jerry: Oops, sorry! I was on lunch, but I’m ready for a retake now!
Director cuts the scene as Drac sighs and Ericka giggles
Chapter 4: HT 4 Transformania
Chapter Text
Blooper 1
The 125th Anniversary party is taking place.
Johnny: Let’s do it, Frank!
Frank comes out on a unicycle and juggling chainsaws
Frank: Isn’t this great? Johnny taught me how to do it!
Suddenly, he misses the catch and the chainsaws fall on him, sawing off his body parts at the stitches so that he falls to the ground in pieces
Frank [offscreen head]: I’m okay!
Director: Cut!
Blooper 2
Dracula and Ericka are by the hotel's poolside
Ericka: Well, you are just all sorts of wonderful aren't you?
Drac: Well, it's not for nothing that they call me 'Count Wonderful'…
Ericka: Oh? Do they?
Drac: And also 'Dark Prince of Loviness'...
Ericka: Mmm-hmm…
Dracula: 'Lord of Smoochy Time'...
Suddenly, before they can liplock, a rumbling is heard and Tinkles, Poochystien, Pebbles, Diablo, Blobby-Pup, and Spike all converge on top of Drac barking and playing.
Drac: ACK! Tinkles, NO! I said 'Lord of Smoochy Time,' not 'Lord of Poochy Time'!
Blooper 3
Johnny and Van Helsing are inside of the hotel basement
Van Helsing: Behold! The Monsterfication Ray! It turns any human into a monster…
Johnny: Awesome! But is it safe, though?
Van Helsing: Great question! What we need, is a guinea pig…
Camera pans over to the cage where Gigi the guinea pig is inside of, but shows one of the wolf pups having opened it and now has a full mouth
Van Helsing: Gigi!
Wanda rushes in on screen to grab her pup.
Wanda: Waldo! You know better than to eat someone else’s pet! Now spit out the guinea pig, or there’s no bacon for you later on!
Waldo [muffled]: Aw, man…
He spits out Gigi, who is covered in drool and shaking
Director: Cut!
Blooper 4
Dracula and Johnny are traveling in the Amazon
Dracula: Johnny! We are getting nowhere!
Johnny: Don’t worry, Drac, I got you covered!
Drac: Huh?
Suddenly, Johnny takes him and does a costume change.
Johnny: And the final touch…
He adds the backpack on Drac.
Johnny: There! Now you’re ready for the great outdoors!
When the camera reveals Drac, he is shown to be wearing the Johnnystein outfit from the first movie. Laughs are heard offscreen and Drac looks down to see himself.
Drac: ACK! JOHNNY! Get me out of this, right now! I can’t be seen like this!
Johnny: How do you think I felt when you did it to me?
Director: Cut!
Blooper 5
Ericka and Mavis are inside of Van Helsing’s basement lab.
Mavis: We've got to find my dad and Ronnie, before it's too late!
Ericka: Got it. Wait… who's Ronnie?
Mavis: Oops, I meant Johnny! We have to find my dad and Johnny before… oh, I blew the line. We need a retake!
Director: Cut!
Blooper 6 - take one
The monsters are inside of the blimp
Mavis: I have an idea… but we’re going to have to take this search to the ground!
Ericka: I have just the thing…
Next, the blimp opens up and the jeep filled with everyone drives out. A parachute opens for a brief moment before the wind blows it harshly offscreen with everyone screaming
Director: Cut!
Blooper 7 - take two
Director: Blimp jump take two (clapstick comes down on clapboard
The jeep drives out of the blimp with everyone in it and the parachute successfully opens for a minute. Suddenly, the ties break and it tumbles into the jungle ground with a crash land as everyone exclaims
Director: Cut!
Blooper 8
Dracula and the group are traveling into the cave on the jeep-turned-boat.
Dracula: Okay, okay, we GET it!
Everyone stares blankly at him for a moment.
Ericka: Uh… are you okay… honey…?
Drac: Am I okay? Well… I’m always okay when I’m with you
Cuddles up next to her as she giggles. The others groan.
Murray: Oh man
Griffin: Not this again
Wayne: We’ll never get our scenes done if this loviness continues
Dracula and Ericka remain oblivious
Director: Cut!
Blooper 9
Mavis is inside the Crystal Cave looking for everyone. Drac approaches her from behind.
Dracula: Mavis!
Scared, Mavis punches him in the face, but it’s too hard and he falls to the ground offscreen in pain
Mavis: Oh my gosh, I’m really sorry Dad! I didn’t mean to punch that hard!
Dracula [wearily]: Oh, it’s okay Mavy. Ughh… but I think I broke my nose
Mavis: Oh, no!
Director: Medic!
Blooper 10
Dracula is skating on Blobby to reach Johnny. He leaps from a ledge and flies through the air. Monster Johnny tries to catch him, but misses, and Drac falls all the way back down to the floor with a crash
Drac: OhhhOW!
Director: Oof, that’s going to leave a mark
Monster Johnny: Sorry!
Director: Cut! Somebody call a medic…