Chapter Text
Blooper 1
Wayne and Wanda’s wolf pups burst in through the front door of the hotel. They run over the guests, jump on the piano, and steal luggage. One of the pups notices the camera, sniffs at it, and then bites so that the shot is of the inside of its mouth. Then, it releases it and lifts a leg up to wet on it
Director: NO! No, not on the camera! CUT!!
Blooper 2
The monsters are in the hotel lobby after arriving. A small spider weaves its way down in front of Drac.
Spider: We’re ready!
As the spider goes back up, camera reveals the weaved words on the web. But instead of “Happy Birthday Mavis” it says “Bleh-bleh-bleh!” Dracula’s jaw drops open and his friends laugh
Drac: Alright, who put the spider up to this? Huh? I demand to know! I do not say bleh-bleh-bleh!
Dracula groans as nobody is particularly listening to him and finding his complaints funny
Drac: I’ll be in my trailer
The Count stomps away angrily while his friends, still laughing, try to convince him to come back.
Wayne: No, Drac, wait!
Frank: It was just a joke, buddy, lighten up!
Blooper 3
Dracula and Johnny are inside of the hotel’s storage closet.
Johnny: Wow! This room’s kind of small for a big castle. No bed, but check out these awesome dustpans they give you.
Dracula: Quiet, you fool! What weapons are you keeping in this container? Your pitchforks...?
He goes through Johnny’s backpack and pulls out one of his T-shirts. Dracula smells it, and recoils.
Dracula: Ohhh! I can’t breathe! It’s killing me!!
He then gags and offscreen is heard vomiting.
Johnny: It is due for a fluff and fold, but it’s not that bad!
Director: Cut!
Blooper 4 - take one
Dracula and Johnny are inside the hotel storage room.
Johnny: Woah! Check out these costumes!
Dracula: Costumes!
Drac grabs Johnny and hauls him offscreen. A shot of the outside of the room is shown as rustling about inside is heard. The door opens a moment later and the pair come out, with Johnny costumed as a vampire with a cape, sleeked hair, and fake fangs
Johnny (with a Transylvanian accent): Check it out, I’m a vamp dude, bleh-bleh-bleh!
Drac (angrily): No, no, no, cut! Cut the scene!
Johnny: Wait, why? What’s wrong?
Drac: What’s wrong is that I don’t say ‘bleh-bleh-bleh’! No vampire does!
Johnny: Huh. All right, I guess we could try another monster
Drac: Yes, PLEASE
Blooper 4 - take two
Outside of the storage room is shown again. The door opens a moment later and Drac and Johnny come out. This time, Johnny is wrapped up in toilet paper from head to toe and is having difficulty walking.
Johnny: Check it out, I’m a mummy man!
Tries to take a few more steps but trips. Dracula groans.
Drac: Cut!
Johnny (from down on the floor): I think we should try the Frankenhomie, to be honest
Blooper 5
Johnny is in the hotel lobby realizing that all the guests are actual monsters. When he goes to scream, he gets into a coughing fit
Johnny (in a raspy voice): Oh man, sorry about that guys, I was practicing the scream all morning and now I threw out my voice
He briefly grabs a bottle of water to drink.
Johnny: Okay, I think I’m good now, let’s take again!
Blooper 6
Johnny, Drac, and monster guests are in the hotel lobby. Clapstick comes down on clapboard.
Director: Action!
Johnny slips on Blobby’s slime and accidentally gets a ride on the witch’s magic broomstick. He knocks into several things as he flies around the lobby, including one of the cameras which gets knocked down. More equipment can be heard being crashed into as other cameras and wires fall as Johnny gets flung offscreen
Johnny: Ow! Sorry about the cameras, guys, I can pay for that!
Director: Cut!
Blooper 7
Dracula and Johnny are walking through the catacombs of the hotel.
Dracula: I’m not down here much. It’s meant to be an exit if the humans ever invade
Johnny: Oh, so I’m, like, the first human here, huh? That’s really cool
Dracula reaches another secret door and pulls the lever to open it.
Dracula: Okay, I think this is it.
He opens the door, but on the other side sees the Drac Pack on break and having lunch.
Wayne [to the friends]: … so I told him, ‘you’d better give me back my frisbee, or else I’ll’ -
He stops mid sentence as he notices Drac and Johnny
Wayne: Oh, whoops! Are we supposed to be on?
Frank: I thought it was supposed to be for the next scene!
Drac: Oops, yes, sorry! My mistake. Wrong door, I’ll catch you guys in five once we retake this scene
Director: Cut!
Blooper 8
Clapboard in front of the screen and then the clapstick comes down.
Director: Action!
Frank (to his right arm): You have a cousin?
Dracula: Frank, if your arm could talk, it would tell you that the original owner of your arm had a brother, who married a woman, who was (makes a killing gesture) for strangling a pig!
Director: Cut!
Drac: What? What was wrong with that?
Johnny: Drac, half of those lines I was supposed to say!
Drac: So?
Frank: You have to follow the script, buddy
Drac: Alright, alright, whatever
Blooper 9
Johnny: I can’t believe I’m leaving, man. I could’ve been so great! Dude, you ruined everything! Suck my blood? I should’ve said, “I’m staying old man!” Give him a Bruce Lee kick. Boom! Right in the the -
Camera pans over to show Drac standing there with his arms crossed and startles Johnny
Johnny: AAAH! Drac! Oh my God, don’t kill me! I’m leaving! (runs away)
Director: Cut! You’re not supposed to be in the rest of this scene, Drac
Drac: (laughs) I know, I know, I just wanted to mess with him
Blooper 10
Dracula bursts into the kitchen where Quasimodo is going to cook Johnny
Quasimodo: Bonjour, Monsieur Dracula!
Drac: Shut your hump hole
Drac removes Johnny’s ties and frees him
Quasimodo: Now you are helping him? What is it with you and this human?
Dracula: He’s not a human, he’s a Stain!
Johnny: That’s right, little man! I’m a…
He pauses, realizing what Dracula said.
Johnny: Wait, a ‘stain’? What does that mean?
Laughter is heard and Dracula facepalms
Dracula: I mean a Stein! He’s a… [sighs] Can we redo that scene?
Director: Cut!
Blooper 11
Winnie is presented Johnny’s shirt, and she inhales
Winnie: He got into a car. 86’ FIat. Needs a little transmission work, but otherwise okay. It drove through town to the airport. Flight 497. 8:00 am departure.
Dracula: That’s in 15 minutes!
Winnie: Seat 23A. He ordered the vegetarian meal - scrambled egg whites from cage-free hens, seasoned with pinches of salt and pepper, with a side of toast that was slightly burned and then topped with homemade maple syrup. The drink was a cappuccino with an extra shot of espresso and topped with 3 ounces of whipped cream. All a total of 453 calories, 20 of which have already been burned.
Dracula: Okay, cutie, I think that was enough (laughs and the directors laugh too)
Winnie: Do you want to know what the other passengers had?
Wayne: It’s okay, WInnie, we’ll try the scene again, but this time just stop at ‘vegetarian meal’ okay?
Winnie: Okay, pop!
Wayne (to director): Okay, we’re good!
Blooper 12
Hearse is driving down the road. A sheep is seen standing in the middle
Dracula: SHEEP!
Griffin turns the wheel sharply and drives off of the road. The hearse barrels down the hillside. It continues to drive down until it reaches the next road on the cliff, only, the hearse breaks through the railing and the hearse falls off the cliff completely. Screams are heard from the monsters
Director: Ooo, cut! Someone call medic!
Blooper 13
Mavis is sitting next to the window. Dracula as a bat is about to fly in, but instead crashes into glass. Mavis looks over surprised.
Mavis: Dad?
Director: Oops, forgot to remove the screen on the window. Retake!
Blooper 14
Mavis and Dracula are in the former’s room.
Dracula: You know, Mommy already gave you your birthday present. Can I now give you mine?
He picks up Johnny’s backpack to show her.
Mavis: What do I need this for?
Drac: Oh, it comes with an accessory!
He turns the backpack around, but Johnny isn’t there.
Drac: Huh? Johnny, where did you go?
The backpack unzips and Johnny pokes his head out.
Johnny: Oh, I’m right here! Did I miss my cue?
Dracula groans.
Drac: Johnny, you weren’t supposed to be in the backpack, you were supposed to be hanging from the outside of the backpack!
Johnny: I think popping out from the inside is cooler!
Drac (threateningly): JOHNNY…
Johnny: All right, all right, chill, we can do a retake. I’ll be outside this time, okay?
Dracula rolls his eyes and the director cuts