Chapter Text
You are frozen, maybe, where you stood?
Not-really-Mookie tells you that you are bait, you're used up — nothing left for you to give, and you're right where we wanted you.
You want to say anything, really. But you realize, quite abruptly, you do not want to die at all. What use is self sacrifice? What use is dying for nothing at all?
Because, yes, there is always a hope for the future, the ones who make it out alive, and the ones who come after that — Chrysalis has been doomed since the start, as you know, as they know, as everybody with a goddamned brain knows, yes.
You wished you could stay with Mia. You wish and wish and wish for it, you'd only had a day and a half properly with her. Then she'd lost her memory, looked at you like a stranger, nothing but that. Like you confused her. It had made you ill. Sick to your stomach.
You tried not to throw up for her sake.
You wished you could have more time with Goggles, see even more of that person that had laid beneath in wait. You wish you could have appreciated her more, wasn't she so sweet. She was one of few that gave a shit about whatever happened to you. Until the very end, she'd been begging you to stay safe.
You felt bad you couldn't give her that, at least. Hopefully freedom made up for it.
And speaking of people who give a shit, Pink. She took you seriously, one of the few that had been good to you today. She kept you in the peripheral of her vision, making sure you weren't hurting too much. She didn't poke and prod at both metaphorical and real bruises. You wish you could've gotten to know her better before it all went downhill. You wish…
At least, you hope all that you did could give her more of a chance to live. She deserved it out of everyone.
Surviving… living…
You wished…
More than anything, it could all go away. Mookie is still talking, so you give her your biggest, worst grin. All your teeth are showing.
"I'm glad," You laugh. "at least I could be a fly— no, a cockroach, while I lived." To have diverted their gaze for a few moments, yes, even now… even now… you wish… Why did it have to be like this? Like this? Torturous? You should be getting out. You should be standing beside Mia, keeping her safe, because you can't trust the rest to do that for you.
Then why aren't you? 'Cause you wanted to be a hero? Go out in glory? Nothing about this is glorious. Nothing about this is heroic. It's only a long, drawn-out suicide. You're a coward, because being brave would mean being there with Mia. With Goggles, with everyone.
You wish you could redo all of this, if only for their sake. It's selfish. It's so selfish. You don't want to die at all, not like this, who would? If only you could get up. If only you could do anything. Coward. Coward, to the end. Cayman had been painfully right about you.
Everyone was right about you.
This is taking a while, so any moment now, and oh, was Magic really watching the whole time? That's lovely. That's just lovely. You can't go out without traumatizing someone else? Great going. Really. Really.
Any moment now!
Close the curtains on this scene, and the show will continue.
Of fucking course it does.
So you wish and wish and wish as many times that anything good comes to those unfortunate enough to have been cursed with caring about you.
Just in time,
the show will—