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They didn't mean to keep it a secret for so long.
When Sanji and Usopp first got together, they'd agreed to keep quiet about it. Just for a little while. They loved their friends, and knew their relationship would be happily accepted, even celebrated (another excuse to party, really), but it was still so new. Though they'd had feelings for each other for a long time, expressing those feelings was unexplored territory. They wanted to keep their burgeoning relationship to themselves for awhile. They wanted time to discover each other all over again without anyone else's opinions or judgement interfering.
So they waited. Trading kisses in storage rooms, holding hands under the table. Cuddling up in the crow's nest, pressed close together as they talked. Secret picnics under the moon in the garden. Rushing through their shopping whenever the ship made landfall so they'd have time to walk around town, hand in hand like an ordinary couple.
It was fun. They liked the moments they could steal away and enjoy each other's company, and they soon discovered they also enjoyed the thrill of keeping a secret. It became a kind of game between the two of them, seeing what they could get away with in front of their crewmates. Time got away from them. They eventually came clean, but not until much later than they planned, months after they first got together.
In all that time, they never realized there were things they were taking for granted. Things they never realized they would miss until it was too late.
"Yo ho ho, and where are you two off to?"
Privacy.
"The love birds are probably off to the breakfast nook for some more nookie."
"Ew, Franky! He better not be right, or you two idiots are gonna pay. No funny business in the kitchen!"
A buffer from their friends' incessant teasing.
Their friends were catching up on months' worth of questions and heckling. It almost made them wish they'd held on to their secret even longer.
Brook was playing his violin softly while Sanji put the finishing touches on the table and food he'd set out on the lawn. The music was soft and sweet, perfect background ambience for a romantic dinner for two; Sanji had planned to spend this evening meal alone with Usopp, but he might not ask Brook to leave after all.
A gentle hand touched Sanji's back, and he turned to find Usopp. Usopp's eyes, glinting gold in the light of the setting sun, shone with surprise as he took in the arrangement of chairs, candles, and flowers. Sanji took his hand and kissed it, making Usopp blush prettily. Before either of them could say anything, however, Brook spoke.
"Pray tell me, dear fellows," Brook said. "What is better than roses on a piano?"
Sanji glared at him, even though his romantic mind immediately jumped to possible answers. Rose petals on a bed? A bouquet for a beautiful person? No, nothing so innocent. This was Brook he was talking to.
"What?" He gritted out around his cigarette.
"Tulips on your organ! Yohohohohohoho!" Brook ducked the kick Sanji swung at him. "Though you two will have to tell me for certain, for alas, I have no orga—"
Usopp pulled out his slingshot and Brook took off, zipping through the door and into the bowels of the ship.
Two seconds later, Sanji gave chase when he realized Brook had stolen the cheese fondue.
They needed to remember to make sure Franky wasn't in earshot whenever they decided to flirt. In their defense, they did think they were alone in the aquarium when they started. How a man as big as Franky snuck up on them, Sanji will never know.
"Young love is just super!" Franky struck a pose. "Ow!"
At least he was done with the crying phase. Then again, although the blubbering had gotten annoying, Sanji was starting to think he preferred it over whatever this was.
"You guys are using protection, right? There's some wicked stuff out in this world, wouldn't want to catch it."
The questions.
"Usopp, remember what I told you about that one move? It works, doesn't matter what your downstairs equipment is. It'll blow his mind—"
"Yes, I remember! Now shush!"
The unsolicited advice.
"If you have any questions, Big Bro Franky is here for you." Franky struck another pose, jutting his hips out and pointing one arm up and the other behind him. That pose looked a lot less bizarre back when he had Mozu and Kiwi to mimic him.
"One man to another, do not use any kind of lube that isn't made for sex. You will regret it."
Sanji liked Franky well enough as his friend and crewmate, but Franky and Usopp had a special bond. That bond was the only reason Sanji hadn't planted a foot in Franky's face since they came out.
"I thing we've got it handled, Franky," Usopp said. He grabbed Sanji's hand and started heading for the door.
"Don't do anything I wouldn't do," Franky said.
"That doesn't restrict much," Usopp called over his shoulder, dragging Sanji from the room.
"I'm happy for you, Longnose."
"Robin…"
The Usopp of two years could never have pictured Robin saying something so sweet. She'd been so guarded back then, unable to even call them by their real names for fear of becoming too attached. She was so different now. So much happier. Free. He couldn't help the burst of joy he felt every time he caught her laughing these days.
(Of course, she still called Usopp Longnose, but so did everybody else. Even his boyfriend.)
She smiled, crows feet crinkling in the corners of her eyes.
"You've got your fairy tale prince. Perfect for a storyteller like you, no? I can see how happy you make each other."
"Thank you, Robin," Usopp said, flushing.
"Be careful though. Fairy tales often end in tragedy. I would hate for you to follow the stories too closely, and die horribly. You could be devoured by a wolf, or turned into a frog and have your legs ripped off to use in a witch's brew. There is a practice in the South Blue—"
"Thanks, Robin, love the support, goodbye now!"
Usopp ran from the library, chased by Robin's giggles.
Sitting on the bench in Chopper's infirmary, Usopp wanted to take a bath. He wanted to scrub his body clean, take off his skin and have drycleaned even, and then probably never have sex again. More than any of that though he wanted to plug his ears and run before Chopper could say another word. He had no idea there were so many sexually transmitted diseases out there! They were so gross; Chopper had spent the last half hour describing in detail the effects and risks of different infections, and he still wasn't done.
"We're both clean," Sanji interrupted. "You run tests for these things when you do our regular checkups, right? So there's no need to worry." His eyes were on Chopper, but his thumb rubbed the back of Usopp's hand soothingly. Usopp untensed a little. Sanji was right. They had a clean bill of health, and neither of them had been with anyone before each other, so there's no way they could catch anything.
"Wrong!" Chopper said, sticking his hoof in Sanji's face. "You two better be using protection! Even if neither of you are carrying diseases, you can still contract infections from unprotected sex—"
"Yeah, great, thanks Chopper," Usopp said quickly, hopping up. "We'll be going now." He grabbed Sanji's hand, ready to drag him out of the infirmary before Chopper could deliver any more disturbing information.
Before he got more than a step, Chopper, transformed into Heavy Point, scruffed him and shoved him back in his seat.
"I wasn't done yet,"Chopper hissed. There was an evil glint in the normally sweet doctor's eyes, and Usopp meekly, miserably, slouched in his seat, braced for the rest of the lecture.
"I mean really! I'm your best friend! I tell you everything!"
"I know," Usopp said.
"You kept your relationship secret for months," Nami said. "Months! You didn't even tell me you had a crush on Sanji."
"I know." He wasn't sorry. He could explain his feelings after she got the complaints out of her system, when she was ready to listen.
"I could have started a betting pool. Think about it, Usopp! We could have rigged it. With the right bet, I could have quintupled Zoro's debt! Bankrupted Brook! I'd be rolling in it!"
Nami slumped, burying her face in her hands to mourn the lost riches.
Usopp, beside her on the bench, patted her back consolingly.
"Are you done?"
Nami sighed. "Yeah, I'm done."
Footsteps sounded on the stairs. Sanji appeared, tray full of glasses in hand, humming a tune. He twirled and knelt down to offer Nami a smoothie.
"You are looking radiant today, Nami-swan."
She accepted the glass, and Sanji stood. Though he still gave Nami and Robin sincere flattery, Sanji hadn't been effusive in his compliments to the women in months.
Usopp hadn't expected Sanji to change too much for him, but Sanji had dialed back his flirtations. He stopped flirting with women on the islands they visited entirely. The only reason he had kept it up with Nami and Robin was to avoid suspicion; now that their relationship was no longer a secret, he'd stopped even that. Sanji offered them genuine compliments, but nothing further.
Usopp never had to ask.
"Thank you," Usopp said as Sanji handed him a smoothie.
"For you, anything," Sanji said, with that beautiful, shameless sincerity. Sanji leaned in and pressed a firm but tender kiss to Usopp's lips.
"See you later, my love." Sanji turned and left, traipsing off to give the rest of the crew their midafternoon snacks.
"You two are going to give me cavities," Nami groaned.
Nami and Usopp sipped their smoothies, enjoying the peaceful ocean breeze.
For a moment, Usopp thought he was in the clear. Nami had finished her (warranted) griping, and once he promised to help her rig a few new bets, he wouldn't even owe her too much money.
"So," Nami started, and Usopp froze. He knew that tone. Heck, he used that tone, whenever he and Nami were in the middle of one of their regular gossip sessions. Nami was looking for a scoop. "How have you been getting on with the love cook? Or should I say, getting it on…? Does he live up to the nickname? C'mon, bestie. Give me all the details!"
"Take these," Sanji said, holding out a stack of bento boxes. "You know that as soon as we get close enough to shore, Luffy will want to go galivanting off."
"Don't I know it," Usopp said, accepting the bundle. "He can't go without his pirate lunch box."
Sanji leaned across the counter and gave Usopp a peck.
"Gross," Zoro said as he strolled into the kitchen. He beelined for the cabinet behind the dining table where Sanji kept the cheap sake. "Do you two have to do that? You're going to put me off my appetite."
"You mean your alcoholism?" Sanji sniped.
Zoro grabbed a bottle from the cabinet. "I need whatever I can get, to put up with this," he said, gesturing at them.
Usopp knew Zoro was just picking at Sanji, same as always, and didn't have an actual problem with their relationship, but the words still annoyed him. He wasn't interested in being caught in the crossfire of Sanji and Zoro's stupid rivalry.
Zoro popped the cap off and took a swig. "Could you tone it down when you're slavering after Usopp? I know you have no self control, dartbrow, but I can only take so much of the soppy bullshit."
"I have more self control than you."
"As if. Your relationship was obvious from the start, since you can barely keep your hands off Usopp for more than five seconds at a time."
"Bull," Usopp snapped before Sanji could say anything. "We were together for months before we said anything, and not one of you noticed what was happening right under your noses."
"Tch," Zoro scoffed and looked away, unable to deny Usopp's words.
Sanji smirked. It had probably stung Zoro's pride like nothing else to realize how completely unaware he'd been. The swordsman was more observant than they often gave him credit for, but not nearly as perceptive as he believed himself to be.
"Zoro's just mad because he doesn't actually know everything," Sanji said. He half hoped that Usopp would join him in knocking Zoro down another peg or ten; Usopp had a sharp tongue when properly incensed.
"Sanji," Usopp warned, putting the kibosh on that idea.
"Whatever," Zoro groused, heading for the door. "If you want to put up with the pervert cook, that's your problem." Zoro, likely sensing Usopp's rising temper, beat a hasty retreat, though he would never admit that that was what it was.
"I swear, if I hear one more joke about our sex lives, I'm going to replace all of Franky's cola with cucumber water," Sanji grumbled as he and Usopp left the aquarium and its laughing occupants.
Usopp patted his back. "He and Brook just make each other worse," he sighed. Zoro was getting annoying too, but Sanji might actually put worms in Zoro's food if he learned how often the swordsman insinuated that Usopp could do better.
Nami wouldn't drop it either. She wouldn't stop hounding Usopp for details, and she hadn't been shy about why. Sanji was Usopp's devoted boyfriend, but it was probably better if Usopp didn't mention that part.
They wandered toward the railing, hand in hand as they crossed the lawn.
"Ready or not, here I come!" Luffy jumped out from behind the mast. He grinned when he saw them. "Did you see which way Chopper went?"
"That's cheating," Usopp chided.
Luffy shrugged, his smile turning impish. "Want to join in next round?"
"Sure, but only if I get to count first." Having Chopper as the seeker always made the game more interesting, since he could track them by smell; Usopp wanted to test a new way to lay false trails.
"Sanji?" Luffy asked.
"You guys play without me," Sanji said. He leaned over and pressed a kiss to Usopp's temple. Usopp leaned into it, then turned to catch Sanji's lips with a quick peck. Sanji huffed, smiling, a bit of the lingering ire from all the teasing lifting from his face.
Usopp turned and found Luffy still standing there, watching them.
"You guys are happy together?" Luffy asked.
"Yes," Usopp answered without hesitation, his voice overlapping with Sanji's immediate, "Of course."
They glanced at each with matching smiles.
Luffy laughed. "I'm glad," he beamed, and that was all he had to say. Usopp and Sanji were happy, being together on this journey surrounded by friends, and that was enough for Luffy. He didn't need any more explanation than that. Luffy wouldn't tease, or ask invasive questions—
"Hey Sanji, do you put the banana in—" Luffy started.
"Auggh, not you too!"
"Gah!"
"Hey, where are you going?! I just wanted to know if Sanji is making banana splits for dessert tonight!"