Chapter Text
Starscream stopped ignoring messages. He didn't attend every social event, but he went to most of them. Skyfire's frame sat in his lab, the Emberstone shining beside it. A terrible energy invaded Starscream's body, seeping into it deeper and deeper as time passed.
Most nights, he fell into recharge last out of his small group. Some nights, with plating so tight that his spark ached and his hands shook, he sat up in the berth, staring at the ceiling. Megatron and the Autobots would find them. It was only a matter of when.
Fuel splashed on the floor as a canister slipped from Starscream's hands. He hissed in irritation, righting the canister. It nearly slipped out of his hands again when he moved it away from the spill.
"Fragging stupid," he muttered to himself.
He paused as his pede struck something. He stared down at Jetfire's frame, spark frozen.
"At least it's not on you," he said.
Another unsuccessful set of tests. Starscream slammed a fist against the table. As another fuel canister tipped over, he let out a frustrated shout.
"Why can't anything just work?" He yelled.
What was the point of this? He'd been running these fragging tests for so long, and none of them returned any useful results! He knew more about what was unsafe for a cybertronian to consume than any other mech at this point!
He was no closer to solving this than when he started. The energeon cached on Earth was not infinite, and they were already fighting for it. How long would it be until they were running out again?
Skyfire's lightless optics stared at him from the floor. He looked away, but the idea lingered. Skyfire was strong. He was as large as Megatron. If they had to fight…
Starscream tapped a pede. Even without considering Skyfire's strength, he would be a useful addition to the Decepticons. Assuming a new spark didn't overwrite his processor, his scientific knowledge would be invaluable.
Starscream reached for the Emberstone. He held it close to his chest as he knelt down and made a connection with the frame. After sending the command to unlock the spark chamber, he wrenched it open. He ran his fingers along the sides of it, hesitating.
Not a single mech of his origin survived this. But he was Starscream, and he had survived many things.
Starscream opened his spark chamber. He forced the Emberstone close to his spark, hands on the frame's chest as he braced himself. Having never witnessed this, he could only guess based on Shockwave's accounts. He willed his spark to release energy.
The pain was sudden and intense. Starscream silenced a cry as it coursed through him, starting at his spark chamber and traveling through his frame. Before him, energy crackled around the Emberstone. A small ball of light gathered on the other side of it.
Starscream pushed more energy. He crashed to the floor, knees slamming down. Still, it wasn't enough! He pushed more and slid down to his elbows. Even that wasn't enough.
He hunched over the frame, legs splayed beneath him. More. He still needed more.
With a flash, he was knocked onto his back. The Emberstone clicked as it landed beside him. A dull hum filled the room, light emitting from the center of it. Starscream crawled toward the frame. Every joint in his body ached, and his fuel lines burned, but he had know.
As a spark spun before him, he laughed.
"I… I did it," He whispered. "It… worked."
The spark chamber snapped shut. Starscream connected himself to the frame and ran a diagnostic. The numbers swam in his processor, but he managed to find the most important one.
{Fuel level: 16%.}
Starscream pulled his medical intake out and connected it to the frame's. Then, he pushed the override.
{Fuel level: 20%.}
He watched the levels climb, growing lightheaded, until they reached fifty percent. Then, he withdrew. He attempted to sit up, but the world spun before him, sending him back onto the floor. His fans hummed, straining to cool his frame.
Light flooded the room as the frame's optics came online. Starscream pulled himself onto the frame's chest. The frame—no, the mech—stared up at him.
There was no recognition in its optics.
"H—hello," Starscream said, vocalizer glitching from the strain on his frame.
"Hi," the mech said.
"Access your data—databanks," Starscream said. "What do you know?"
After a moment, the mech's olfactory ridge crinkled. They blinked, then stared at Starscream again.
"It's all numbers," They said.
"That's good," Starscream muttered.
The mech could access their diagnostics. Integration must have wiped the memory bank completely.
"You're a cybertronian," Starscream said. "You'll—you'll learn what that means soon enough. Your name is Sk—Jetfire. Your name is Jetfire."
"Jetfire," the mech repeated. "What's yours?"
"Starscream. I made you."
The world grew dark at the edges as something snapped beneath Starscream's plating. He bit back a hiss. Not now!
"You made me?" Jetfire said, optics growing wide.
{Alert! Fuel levels low!}
"Yes," Starscream said.
He attempted to push himself up again. The world blurred, and he fell. Beneath him, Jetfire shifted.
"Help me up," Starscream demanded.
Jetfire pushed himself up, then grabbed Starscream by the shoulder. Metal warped beneath the newspark's fingers, and Starscream yelped.
"N—not that hard!" Starscream hissed. "Let go!"
Jetfire flinched away. A twinge of regret seized Starscream's spark, but he ignored it in favor of rising, leaning on Jetfire to keep himself from falling. He swayed on his pedes, joints protesting.
"I'm… going to comm someone," Starscream said. "Don't be scared when they come in."
[Skywarp—]
{EMERGENCY STASIS INITIATED.}
Everything went dark.
☆☆☆
Muffled voices spoke around him. Starscream willed himself to move, but his limbs were too heavy. He opened his optics, hissing at the brightness of the room. At his side, a large mech sat. Jetfire.
"He's awake."
Hook?
A hand brushed against his. He turned toward the source, blinking away static.
"Skywarp?" He said.
"What the frag were you thinking?" She hissed.
"I don't—" he pushed himself up and immediately slid back down. "What's going…"
Skywarp sighed. "You went into emergency stasis."
Right. The Emberstone. Jetfire.
"I know how the Emberstone works now," Starscream said.
Skywarp glared at him. "I figured."
Shuffling at the entrance to the room gave both mecha pause. Soundwave came through the doorway. He paused, glancing at Jetfire, before making his way to the edge of the berth.
"Soundwave—arrived as soon as possible."
"I'm not done chewing this idiot out yet," Skywarp said.
"Unproductive," Soundwave said. He turned toward Starscream. "Starscream—should be dead. Starscream's survival—miraculous."
Starscream pushed himself up again, his body finally having the strength to support him, despite the shaking of his arms.
"I have a talent for surviving what others cannot," Starscream said.
"Starscream—survives the impossible," Soundwave said. "Starscream's body—bears the consequences."
Starscream waved a hand dismissively and nearly fell as his other arm's elbow collapsed beneath him. "So? Bodies heal."
Skywarp leaned in. "Not perfectly, you dumbaft!"
"I'll be fine," Starscream said.
"Remains to be seen," Soundwave said. "Your spark—sustained damage. Your body—even more damaged."
"I'll be fine," Starscream repeated.
☆☆☆
He had gotten past the enforced berthrest, at least. Starscream disguised a pained hiss as he walked down the halls, joints moving more than they had in a while. He obtained his ration and picked a corner of the main room to curl up in.
"Starscream!"
Starscream looked up as Jetfire approached. Jetfire sat beside him, a smile on his face.
"You're up!" Jetfire said.
"Yes," Starscream said between sips of energeon. "I am."
The newspark had already made plenty of allies. It seemed that he retained Skyfire's kindness, which combined charmingly with his naivety. Despite all of these allies, Jetfire visited him daily while he was confined to the berth, chattering excitedly about this or that little thing.
"I'm so happy to see you up!" Jetfire said. "Does this mean you're getting better?"
"As better as I can be getting," Starscream said, tilting his cube to ensure the last drop was gone.
He stood, hissing as his frame protested. It would get less painful with time, but did it have to hurt so much? His plating hadn't even been damaged! He'd just overloaded his sensornet!
And maybe fried several essential neurocircuits that were still reintegrating, but that wasn't as important. His body was so busy repairing the essential circuits that it left his motors to languish, causing weakness and shakiness. It was embarrassing to barely be able to cross a room, but this was temporary.
At least, that was what he told himself. He had to believe it was. Skywarp and Soundwave's warnings sat at the back of his processor, popping up whenever he had doubts. But would recover from this one, as he had all the others! He was Starscream!
Starscream crossed the room, Jetfire following closely behind him. When they entered the hallway, Starscream allowed himself to lean against the wall until they reached their destination. Hook looked up at them from the other side of the medbay.
"Took you long enough," Hook said.
"Try getting anywhere quickly with fried neurocircuits and weak motors," Starscream snarked.
Hook rolled his optics. "I offered you assistance multiple times. Not my fault you're so fragging stubborn."
Starscream glared at the poorly constructed assistive devices stored haphazardly in the corner of the room. "Those wouldn't have helped."
Hook stared at him, brows raised as if to say 'Really?' Then, he sighed and patted one of the berths.
"Sit here."
Starscream obeyed. Jetfire stood behind him, casting glances between him and Hook.
"Pop your medical panel," Hook said. With a quick look toward Jetfire, he added, "Internal injuries need diagnostics, since we can't just open our patients back up—as much as he makes me want to eviscerate him."
Starscream rolled his optics and opened his panel. Hook made a connection. His lack of medical overrides prompted Starscream to accept it. Briefly, Starscream contemplated rejecting the connection just to irritate the other mech, but decided to be mature.
Starscream's systems alerted him as files and programs were accessed. Luckily, Hook was a practical mech, and didn't care enough to dig through anything he didn't immediately need to. A moment later, Hook disconnected, lips twitching upward.
"You're recovering well, considering how badly you slagged yourself," Hook said. "Some of my best work."
Starscream rolled his optics. What was it with medics and giant egos? Hook hadn't even completed medical school before the war started.
Hook motioned to Jetfire. "You want to try?"
Jetfire moved around the berth slowly, wings held low.
"Um, sure," he said quietly.
Jetfire missed the port on his first attempt. On his second, he didn't insert it all the way. On the third, Starscream finally received the prompt. He authorized the connection and waited.
As his systems alerted him to access of his diagnostics, Jetfire whispered, "That's a lot of numbers."
"It's about knowing which ones are important," Hook said. "Find the air change rate."
Jetfire read the number aloud.
Hook nodded. "That's a good value. If he were overheating, his fans would be running faster, which increases the rate. I replaced one of his fans after it snapped, so making sure the rate is good is important."
Jetfire nodded, a small smile on his face. Starscream didn't appreciate being used as a teaching tool, but…
"Now, fuel line pressure."
Jetfire read that one out.
"Good," Hook said. "It's higher than yesterday, which is what we're looking for."
They continued like that—Jetfire reading or guessing while Hook instructed—for quite a while. Starscream tapped his fingers on his knee. He was recovering, but how quickly? When would he be fit to continue his experiments?
Starscream had taken quite a few beatings in his life from both allies and enemies. He survived on nothing but human-made slag. He crashed from the sky, plating burning from the atmosphere. What was one more near-death?
Perhaps he was the confounding factor in his experiments. Something perilous to him was instant death for other mecha. The idea was appealing, but its implications for the future were bleak. If Starscream was an outlier, then there was no way to create energeon outside of Cybertron.
There was no energeon remaining on the planet when they left it. If they couldn't find a new source of fuel, they were all going to starve. Caches could only last for so long, and many mecha weren't equipped to leave the planet on their own.
Starscream was pulled out of his thoughts by a lull in conversation. The visit was over. As Starscream pushed himself off the berth, Jetfire moved to his side, catching him as his legs crumpled beneath him.
"Are you sure you don't want something to help?" Jetfire asked, voice quiet and gentle.
Starscream glared at the pile in the corner of the room again. Those devices would turn to scrap more quickly than he was.
"I don't want to touch those things," Starscream muttered.
"Why?"
"Because they're garbage!" Starscream hissed quietly enough for Hook not to hear. "They have no structural integrity!"
"Okay," Jetfire said, offering an arm.
That was it? He wasn't going to force it on him, or insist he knew better, or…? Who was he kidding? This was Jetfire! He had all the soft passivity of Skyfire and then some.
Starscream took the arm, allowing Jetfire to lead him out of the medbay. When they were in the hall, Starscream looked up at Jetfire, waiting until the newspark stared back.
"So, you have an interest in medicine," Starscream said.
"Well…" Jetfire looked away. "I want to make sure you're okay, and it helps everyone, so…"
Starscream leaned more of his weight on Jetfire. "There's no need to be so sheepish about it! Medicine is a fine profession. We can always use more medics."
"Really?" Jetfire said, staring down at him.
Starscream chuckled. "Really!"
"Is that what you made me for?"
Starscream paused. Jetfire aborted his next step after nearly dragging Starscream.
Starscream was struck by the realization that the mech before him was a thinking, feeling thing. He knew this, but it was something he hadn't considered when he stared down at the empty frame, ready to split a spark into it. At that time, he hadn't been Jetfire.
Starscream had plans for Skyfire's frame, but not Jetfire.
"No," Starscream said. "That's not why I made you."
Jetfire tilted his head. "Then why did you make me?"
How was he supposed to explain the pit that consumed his spark? Was there a way to explain such a horrid thing to a mech so new to the world? The violence, the abuse, the war—it would taint Jetfire's naive view. Starscream stared into Jetfire's bright optics and knew he could never force such a softspark to fight. Regardless of his size and strength, Megatron would tear him to pieces.
"I wanted to," Starscream said. "Simple as that."
He needed some light in the darkness of life. And if it had killed him, so what?
Sk—Jetfire stared at him, wings held high. The pattern, the colors—it was all so familiar. Starscream's plating crawled.
"Do you like your colors?" Starscream said.
Jetfire looked away. "I haven't really thought about them. They're nice enough, I guess."
"I think we can do something more you," Starscream said.
"I onlined with these colors," Jetfire said. "Aren't they me?"
Oh, if only it worked like that…
"I changed my colors," Starscream said. "I used to be red and gold."
[Do we have paint?] He sent to Soundwave.
[Storage room 5,] Soundwave replied.
Jetfire hummed. "It's hard to imagine you like that."
"I was quite striking," Starscream said with a grin. "But I wanted to paint my gauntlets blue, and the red didn't match with those, so I changed it."
Jetfire glanced at Starscream's arms. "It's kinda like my blue stripes."
It was the exact same color, but Starscream couldn't say that.
"The point is, we have some paint. Why don't we take a look and see if there are any you like?"
"Um, sure…"
The walk to the storage room was short. When they reached the room, Starscream sat on one of the shelves, limbs aching, as Jetfire hovered over him. After a few moments, he rose, determined to find the paints. It took some searching. They were buried in the back of the shelf, shoved haphazardly into a box.
It made sense. Appearance wasn't a priority when so many threats were present. For all Starscream knew, they were grabbed inadvertently when the Autobots' supplies were raided.
Starscream arranged them on an empty shelf by color and shade. The variety was larger than he expected. Jetfire would have a decent range to pick from.
"See any you like?" Starscream said.
Jetfire looked down at the paints. "Umm…"
He picked out a handful. Starscream scrutinized them. Orange? Seriously? And such a bright one, too! A bright yellow, and an equally bright red… had Jetfire chosen randomly? Starscream fought not to sigh and looked at the final two.
Black and purple. Not quite Skywarp's shades, but close. With that yellow… Starscream fought not to laugh.
"Taking a little inspiration from Skywarp, aren't you?" Starscream said.
"I—I like her colors!" Jetfire said. "And I'm not really sure what I want…"
"Well," Starscream said. "I don't think dark colors suit you."
Starscream hummed, sliding the purple to the side. He kept the black. What else? He pulled the red to the front, side by side with the red, and took a white from the back.
"Let's keep the white base, if you're willing."
Jetfire nodded. "Okay…"
"What do you think about red and black for the stripes?" Starscream asked.
"Sure!" Jetfire said, wringing his hands.
Starscream tilted his head. That didn't sound very confident.
"You're certain?" He asked.
Jetfire's wings flicked upward. "Yes! I'm certain!"
They got to work. The white base coat was easy, since Jetfire was already white. Starscream only needed to patch up some areas where the paint had been scraped off from his frame's time under the ice. The red and black were what brought difficulty.
As Starscream attempted to paint the lines, his hands refused to work properly. He hissed in irritation as the brush veered, the resulting line thin, shaky, and crooked. Stupid neurocircuits. Stupid motors. This wouldn't stand!
[Skywarp, are you free?]
The response was immediate.
[Coordinates?]
Starscream rolled his optics.
[Storage room five.]
[Cool! Be there in a moment!]
With a whoosh of displaced air, Skywarp popped into the room. "Sup?"
Starscream motioned to Jetfire, who was half-painted. Skywarp's optics widened. She leaned forward with a grin.
"Oh! Paint jobs!" She said. "I haven't done one in so long!"
"Just—" Starscream motioned to Jetfire. "Please."
Skywarp took the paint brush from him and got to work. Her lines were perfect, despite her claims. Starscream looked away, jealousy burning within him. If his neurocircuits weren't taking so long to recover…
Truthfully, he wouldn't have done the best job even if he was fully recovered. His hands were only as steady as they needed to be for lab work. There was one mech he would've trusted with this task above all others (even Skywarp), but that mech wasn't here, and never would be again.
Skywarp was quick—much quicker than he was. When she finished, she stepped back, admiring her work. Then, she turned to Starscream with a grin.
"Whaddaya think?"
Jetfire's stripes were a similar pattern to before, but the blue was replaced with red and black. It was sleek, and more importantly, did not immediately call Skyfire to mind.
"It looks good," Starscream said, allowing himself to deliver full praise.
"Awesome!" Skywarp chirped. She leaned back, likely snapping an image of Jetfire. She looked up at him. "What do you think?"
Jetfire smiled. "I look nice…"
Skywarp's wings rose proudly. "Well, you'll have plenty of opportunities to show it off! Blitzwing is about to walk Buster, if you want to come along for that."
Jetfire's wings fluttered. He looked between Skywarp and Starscream. "I, um—"
Starscream waved a hand. "You can go."
Jetfire nodded and left the room. Before Starscream could make his exit, Skywarp turned to him. Her optics stared into his.
"Was that his idea?" She asked.
Starscream shook his head.
Skywarp looked to the doorway again. Starscream attempted to step past her, but his unsteady pedes betrayed him. Before he could crash to the ground, Skywarp caught him with a sigh.
"You're thinking about Skyfire," She said.
Starscream hadn't thought of Skyfire in so long. The mech was dead long before the war began. Though he had left a hole in Starscream's spark, there hadn't been a reason to think of him.
Something squirmed in the back of Starscream's processor. Had he forgotten about Skyfire? It was so wrong to think, but…
"I hadn't been," Starscream said. "For a long time. But then we found his frame."
"You missed him," Skywarp said.
"I…"
Had he? Starscream's fingers weakly pressed into the plating that enclosed his Spark chamber.
"Yes. I did."
The words kept coming.
"I saw him and he was all I could think about. He and—and Thundercracker, they kept me safe when I was a newspark. I can't bring Thundercracker back, but having Skyfire's frame in front of me, I couldn't… I had to know if it was possible."
Skywarp hadn't known Skyfire well. To her, Skyfire was probably just some mech that a young Starscream was inordinately attached to. But just as Thundercracker guided both of them as Seekers, Skyfire taught Starscream as a scientist.
Starscream hadn't been allowed to take classes or get a license. Skyfire himself had barely been allowed to. He had put it all at risk to teach Starscream everything he knew.
"It didn't bring Skyfire back," Skywarp said quietly.
"It didn't," Starscream whispered. "But I don't regret it."
Skywarp frowned, her wings lowering. "Don't say that."
"What? That I don't regret making Jetfire?"
Skywarp's grip tightened. "That you don't regret almost killing yourself."
"Those are two separate things," Starscream muttered, failing to push her hands away. "Quit manhandling me."
Skywarp's grip loosened. "Sorry."
"It's fine."
Starscream leaned against her to force himself upright. Skywarp moved to speak, but hesitated. Then, finally, the words came.
"I want you to speak with Nova Storm."
"Nova Storm?"
Skywarp sighed. "When Thundercracker died, she… she helped me. She knows things. She can do a better job than I would."
"She isn't a medic," Starscream said.
Skywarp's wings flicked. "Not with that. The other stuff. The… other kind of health."
Starscream kept his questions to himself, not wanting to repeat the past.
"Fine."