Chapter Text
13th November, 04:44
By the next morning, the device had been constructed as planned. Papa had taken the smoke gun away before Levi could get his hands on it, but his research hadn't accounted for it in the first place, so it was no big loss. Hange had made their initial sketch, reviewed it with Levi to ensure they hadn't made any silly mistakes, and then took their time once he was gone to build it without a single detail unaccounted for.
Early in the hours of the morning, Levi came by again to check it over and take any evidence out of their room before Papa helped them get dressed. By his calm demeanour during the morning test, Hange assumed he'd gotten it to Erwin without issue. Additionally, Moblit slipped into their room whilst they were eating breakfast and told them that he'd successfully made a new rope, and had given it to Miche last night so he could pass it onto Erwin. Everything was in place, though it didn't stop them from being nervous.
"He'll be fine," Levi said during free time.
"I know," they murmured.
Erwin didn't make mistakes, after all, so it was highly unlikely that everything wouldn't go to plan.
The two of them spent the next few hours sat under Levi's tree watching the other children. Hange's cast and crutches were something of a novelty, as was usual when someone broke a bone. Every so often, a few of the younger kids would toddle over with coloured pencils and ask to sign their cast, and Levi would brace his arm over them all so that no one pressed down too hard on Hange's leg whilst trying to write on it. He was also guarding their crutches after Oluo and Floch tried to swordfight with them.
All the while, Hange distracted themself by talking about anything and everything that wasn't to do with the escape, while Levi pretended to ignore them, but occasionally chipped in with his own comments to spur them on further. It was a routine they seemed to have fallen out of the past couple of weeks, and one they'd missed.
As much as they felt nostalgic for the days when they did nothing but mess around, they understood that the escape was far too important to slack on just because they wanted to play with their siblings every once in a while. But there would be plenty of time for that once they escaped. They could wait just a little bit longer.
Just a bit longer, and Erwin would be free.
After what felt like forever, the bell rang, and Levi helped Hange up off the ground. They dusted off their skirt - which they'd be stuck with for as long as they wore the thick cast on their leg - and held their crutches tight as the children gathered up. Papa surveyed everyone, and they could see him mentally counting and trying to work out who was missing.
"Where's Erwin?" He asked within earshot, and ended up turning towards the two of them.
Hange couldn't help the manic grin that spread across their face.
Papa stared at them for a few seconds before his eyes widened, and he fumbled with his compass as he took it out of his pocket. The moment he spent doing nothing but staring at it was exhilarating. But the feeling was instantly killed when they saw Papa smile and stand up straight, looking down the hill expectantly.
"Ah, there you are."
Slowly but surely, Erwin trudged his way to the tree. Most of the children cheered at his return. Hange couldn't move.
"Why?" They asked with a faint voice.
No one answered.
They returned to the infirmary alone. A few minutes later, Levi invited himself in. He sat down at the edge of their bed and put his head in his hands. They said nothing to one another.
Hange didn't understand, not one bit. There was nothing wrong with the plan they'd come up with. They'd - they'd spent all night working on that stupid device that Levi had spent six years working on the plans for, and Erwin hadn't even used it. He still showed up on Papa's tracker. Did it not work? But Erwin wouldn't have known whether it did or didn't, and he'd come back anyway. Why?
Erwin came in dressed in his leaving attire, and Hange didn't even blink when Levi shot up from the bed and smacked him across the face.
"Why the hell are you here?" He hissed at the taller boy. "What possessed you to come back? What was the damn point? Get out of this house right now and hide!"
"I won't be doing that," Erwin said calmly.
"Why?" Levi screamed.
"It was a cliff."
"What - what was a cliff?"
"Both of you listen to me," he instructed.
Hange looked at him, their head blank save for the knowledge that Erwin's going to die. It was true this time, and certain.
"Past the wall is a cliff. It's dozens of metres wide, so no one could possibly jump it. They never needed to worry about security with a cliff like that. We're completely secluded from the outside world on our own little island."
"So we can't escape past the wall?" Hange whispered.
"Well..." he hesitated. "Not easily. Not without preparation." He sat down on Hange's bed and brought out his notepad, beginning to sketch. "I tried going to the edge of the wall, and it split off into two. One continued sectioning off the orphanage, and the other continued along the cliff, and both bend inwards when you look far enough. There seems to be forest on both sides, but within the inner curve of the wall - the side without the cliff - there's smoke and signs of large civilisation in the distance. I think that might be where all the Marley people are. We're on the outside of this circle, and if we trust Brother Reiner's experience, there's probably four orphanages like this at equidistant points around Marley's civilisation."
Erwin drew a large circle with four semicircles connected to the outside, and labelled the one on the bottom Shiganshina. Then he drew a rougher line surrounding the outside of the drawing to represent the cliff, and scribbled around the outside of it all to indicate the forest.
"I didn't have time to get all the way to the side with the gate, but I'm sure that's the only official way in and out. I couldn't see another orphanage from where I was." He marked a line in the centre of the bottom of the Shiganshina semicircle. "There should be a bridge here, if they have any connections to land beyond their civilisation. Plus, the people we saw were on the outside of the gate too, so there must be an underground tunnel to help them get back into the centre without us ever seeing them."
There was a soft knock at the door, and they all swivelled as Erwin shoved the notepad under where he sat. The knob turned, and Armin and Mikasa's faces peeked through the doorway.
"Erwin, Papa's calling!" Armin told him.
"Tell him I'll be out in a minute."
"Okay!" The door closed.
"Right. I'll be going, then."
"H-hold on a second!" Hange grabbed Erwin's arm as he stood up.
"Oh, yes. Take this back. I didn't use it." He took out the tracker-disabling device and placed it in their hand as he moved his arm out of their grasp.
They stared at it in horror. "Why?"
"You were gonna come back from the start, you bastard," Levi shook Erwin's shoulders roughly enough that they both swayed with the motion. "Didn't you say we'd all come out alive together? Who cares about the cliff right now? You could have told us this while you were in hiding. There's no reason why you can't use it now and make a run for it. You... you promised-"
"I know," Erwin cut him off with a smile. "I lied."
Hange hiccuped, and Levi collapsed back onto the bed, almost landing straight on their cast.
"Sorry, but I cannot afford to make any more mistakes. I need to make sure everyone survives, and everyone escaping would be much harder if I was the first to successfully run away. That's not a risk I'm taking. My decision won't change no matter what you say, and I won't regret that. I've done what I can. The rest will be up to you two."
They couldn't look at him anymore, and instead stared at the dull floorboards in the hope that when they lifted their head, they'd be completely removed from this awful nightmare. They heard Erwin straightening his uniform and picking up his briefcase.
"Erwin, plea-" they started.
Erwin lunged in the centre of themself and Levi, pulling an arm around each of them to engulf them in a hug.
"Thank you for everything," his voice wobbled. "I had a great life. It was fun. I was happy. I love you both."
"You're so stupid," Levi's breath hitched.
"Erwin," Hange croaked, gripping the back of his blazer like a vice. "You can change your mind still. Run away. Live."
"I won't. Goodbye."
He pried their fingers off and turned around swiftly, closing the infirmary door behind him as he walked away. Hange grabbed instead for Levi, feeling like an abandoned toddler, and he let himself be pulled into their shoulder as they wept into his hair. The boy didn't make a sound, but they could feel his arms shaking, and their collar slowly becoming damp.
Erwin's going to be eaten.
"What do we do?" They asked in a broken voice.
"We can't stop him," Levi spoke with a tremor. "He's made his decision."
"But if we don't do anything he-"
"I know, Hange. He doesn't wanna die, and he's probably scared out of his mind," he whispered. "But if we make a mistake and our plans get properly found out he really will die for a lost cause. If you want his death to have meaning, there's not a damn thing we can do anymore."
"...So that's it?"
"What do you want me to do? If I kill Papa, they'll just send another caretaker out with a bunch more security, and then no one will be able to escape. It's pointless."
They couldn't believe it. This couldn't be the truth. It was awful. It was just as awful as it had been the night Eren left. It didn't get better. If anything, it got worse with every day. There was nothing left to do to save Erwin. All they could do was say goodbye.
"Are you coming?" Hange asked, slowly hobbling their way to the door.
"No."
They paused for a moment to let him change his mind, but when he didn't, they continued on their way to the dining hall.
Most of the other children were already gathered with Papa to see Erwin off. Their chest was tight, and they couldn't stop their eyes from glistening. They kept their head down as not to raise suspicion amongst the younger kids, though it was more of a subconscious decision considering everything else at the forefront of their mind.
Erwin's going to be eaten.
"Thanks, Papa," the boy himself stood in the entranceway. Hange wasn't quite focused, but could hear one of the children weeping as they ran up to him. "Don't cry, Mikasa. How about you send me off with a smile, okay?"
"Okay," the four-year-old warbled.
"Armin, can you watch over Hange in my place while their leg heals?"
"Y-yeah..." Armin walked into his arms for a goodbye hug.
"Hange, where's Levi?" Papa asked.
"The infirmary. He doesn't want to see Erwin off," they said flatly, staring at the floorboards.
"Miche and Moblit," Erwin said after a moment's silence. "Take care of Hange and Levi for me."
"Sure," Moblit mumbled. Hange didn't hear a thing from the other boy.
"Hange, you're in my position now. Take care of the others, please."
Hange knew that Levi was right. The worst thing to do would be to let all of Erwin's efforts go to waste just in an attempt to save him from this fate. But even so, sending him off to get eaten without even trying to fight it wasn't something they could comprehend being the right thing to do. They'd promised - they'd been saying this whole time - no more.
The chatter was coming to a halt. Everyone had finished saying their goodbyes. Hange didn't want to.
But they weren't going to hide away whilst he left. They were going to do something about it.
"Erwin!" They launched themself at him using the momentum of their crutches in order to tackle him to the floor. "I'll distract Papa," they whispered into his ear while they fell, and they put their hand holding the tracker-breaking device to his ear and braced themself to stomp their broken leg onto the floorboards. "Run aw-"
Erwin flipped them over before they could put anything else into motion. Their back smacked the floor, and they laid there in shock for a few seconds, reminded of how Papa had done the same to them just the day before. The difference was that the eleven-year-old had never, ever demonstrated the strength nor reflexes to do what he'd just done before now.
"You fool!" He scolded. "This is too reckless, even for you! This isn't what you should be trying to achieve right now."
"Shut up! I won't let you just go!" They screamed back at him as he swiped the device from their hand.
"Are they fighting?" Someone from the crowd of children asked.
"Listen to me," Erwin gritted his teeth and sat them up. "What you're doing is the opposite of what I want. Can't you just do as you're told for once in your life?"
"No! This is the one instruction from you I won't ever consider! I know for a fact you don't want this for yourself!"
Erwin's stern expression remained a moment longer before he sighed, and - to their utter surprise - ended up chuckling.
"You're insane. Insane but honest. Both of you care too much, but it's what makes you so great."
He reached a hand out to ruffle Hange's hair, but Papa placed the boy's hat, previously knocked off in their scuffle, back onto his head, and Erwin pulled his arm back before it made contact.
"Time to go, Erwin," Papa told him.
"Okay, Papa."
Hange didn't understand how he still had the ability to smile moments before marching to his death.
"W-Wait!" They cried out as Erwin stood up and collected his suitcase.
"Calm down, Hange. I know you're upset he's leaving, but you're losing your temper again," Papa gathered Hange in his arms and rested his lips on their ear. "If you act up again, I'll kill you. No more chances," he whispered.
They gasped.
"Stop struggling. You can't do anything. Just give up."
"Papa?" Erwin asked. "Is it alright if I say one last goodbye to Hange at the door?"
Papa paused, then smiled up at the boy. "Of course. Come along, then."
He placed Hange upright on their crutches, and they followed him and Erwin down the hallway. Erwin briefly paused at the bottom of the stairs, looking up at the landing and nodding before continuing on his way. When Hange caught up to the same spot, Levi was already gone.
"Hange." Erwin grasped their hand at the door. The tracker-breaking device was held between their palms. "Take care."
"Mhm." They found they couldn't speak. Couldn't say goodbye. Couldn't do it.
"I'm sorry for tricking you."
They nodded.
"Don't get injured again, please."
They shrugged.
"And don't be reckless."
They said nothing.
"Eat properly so you can heal, alright?"
They closed their eyes.
"I'll leave the rest to you." He let go of their hand, and they wrapped their fingers tightly around the device as their arm swung limp against their side.
"Mhm," they tried to hum.
Erwin grasped the back of their head and pulled them into a hug, and they inhaled shakily against his neck. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair.
Then he let go, and he walked out the door, and so did Papa, and then it locked behind them. Hange fell against it, listening to the trailing footsteps until they could hear them no more.
Erwin's going to be eaten.
That would be the last time they saw him.
16th November, 13:37
Hange kept to themself for the next few days. They attempted to put on a smile every so often for the younger ones, but in the end, this particular grief was one everyone understood, even at a surface level. They had sent a friend off, never to be seen again, and now Hange was all alone.
"We're going to the library," Moblit announced one afternoon, Miche looming behind him.
Hange had heard from Furlan that the library was where Levi was hiding away at. They hadn't seen him anywhere other than the morning tests, which were mandatory for anyone over four and not confined to the infirmary. Full marks, as usual. It didn't matter anymore, but this was the only thing they were good at.
They hobbled with their crutches into the library, and saw the shorter boy sitting at one of the study tables, staring blankly at the floor.
"What?" He said as all three of them stood around him in silence. His voice was hoarse. Hange didn't think they'd ever gone this long without speaking to one another before.
"Well, we... we have to decide what to do now, right?" Moblit hesitated. "From now on-"
"Forget it," he muttered. "I don't care anymore. It's better to die here."
"What's wrong with you?" Miche snapped.
"It's impossible. We're surrounded by a cliff, and the only bridge going out of here leads us straight to the enemy. I'm tired of trying to fight a losing battle."
Coward, Hange thought.
"What about this?" They asked, holding the tracker-breaking device out.
"What about it?" Levi said without even lifting his head up to look at it. "If you still wanna leave, go ahead. I'm done." Then, "Sorry."
They huffed, turning on their good heel and marching out of the library, filled with a rare resentment for him.
Of course he had given up. He failed once, and now he would never bother to try again. Pathetic.
They spent most of their evening crying into the pillow of the infirmary bed, until a hand on their shoulder made them jerk upright.
"I didn't mean to scare you," Papa murmured.
Hange wiped their face clean and glared daggers at him.
"I thought you might want your hair cut."
They did. And they couldn't ask their loser of an older brother to do it.
Begrudgingly, they followed Papa into the bathroom and sat down in deafening silence, broken only by the snipping of the scissors and the man's occasional queries of when to stop. Hange gave him nothing, and he eventually made his own judgement and stopped somewhere around chin-length. They watched as he swept up and discarded their hair into the bin, somehow more angry at the fact that they felt better now.
Papa put the scissors away and handed them their crutches, but did not move from the doorway, and continued to look at them in the mirror. They turned away from him.
"You should give up, Hange. For your own sake. You're only suffering because you're trying to resist the way things are. You know you can't escape, and neither of your friends can help you. The easiest way to stop the pain is to do nothing. And... if you're interested, there are openings for becoming a war candidate that I can recommend you for. Until you get called in, you can live as a parent or sibling, just like Brother Reiner and I."
Hange was furious. The nerve of him to say such a thing, even after discarding Brother Reiner and probably getting him killed like he meant nothing! They hadn't liked him, but he had been helpful, and he didn't deserve to die. No one deserved to die. They could never participate in a system like this.
"Why on ear-"
"Who would roll over like that? Is that what you're wondering?"
Something in Papa's tone made them turn to face him. He was staring at them intently, the way he did sometimes when a child forgot their manners, and he wanted them to remember their please and thank yous.
"But if you can't escape, what can you do? There's no loophole. You get killed off as a child, or, if you're smart and athletic enough, you have the opportunity to live to adulthood. Then, if you become a parent, you can give those children destined to die happiness for all of their limited days. Think about it." Give up, he meant.
They understood. If Brother Reiner had been raised in an orphanage just like them, there was the high possibility that Papa had been the same. He had lived ignorantly until twelve, and then he had been told the truth, and he had chosen to live on by serving Marley and becoming a parent. The only other option he had been given was to die, so he'd taken the former, and given up on being free.
Levi had fought silently, but he'd given up too now that Erwin was dead. Dead.
Giving up, though, didn't mean they wouldn't suffer. Both choices were awful. Why should they pick between the two options given to them at the gate? Couldn't they make their own? No matter how difficult it was - and how difficult it had been so far - it surely couldn't result in a worse outcome than the way things already were.
"I will never do such a thing," they found themself saying.
Papa's expression in the mirror quickly morphed into one of apathy, and he turned to leave. "Well, I tried my best. Fine, then. You can suffer agonising pain while you await death. You can't escape, and you can't do anything to resolve this situation outside of what I have offered you. Your choice."
With that, they were left to stare at their own reflection.
The last few days had been agonising. They'd sat under Levi's tree, having no heart to play with the other children knowing that they didn't yet have a concrete plan on how to save them, and so they'd simply watched them. Sometimes Moblit, or Furlan, or even Armin and Mikasa would trail over and sit with them in an attempt at comfort and solidarity, but Hange didn't have much to say to any of them, especially with Papa watching them from a distance.
There wasn't much they could do by themself, besides mope. But all they had for company at the moment was their anger. They'd been taught to tame it from a young age, as they were prone to tantrums and emotional outbursts, and to focus their energy into something else. Like fixing the situation that made them lose their cool to begin with.
Though it was easier said than done, Hange was defiant to their core, and nothing if not determined to find the solution they knew was lurking out there somewhere.
Maybe it would be the hill they died on, but they would reject Papa's offer and claims that these were only two options. Just because everyone else had given up didn't mean they were right to do so. Hange wouldn't. Erwin didn't die for nothing. Hange would prove them all wrong.
They stood up, leaning on their crutches, and got to work.