Chapter Text
A scant few decades ago, Lilia had no idea what humans meant when they said their offspring would always be their babies. He might not have been great at guessing human’s ages, but even he could tell the difference between a teenager and an infant! This morning, however, he had spent an hour trying to find Silver’s favorite lunchbox with the little cartoon dragons on it only for Malleus to remind him that their ward had tried to destroy it when he was twelve, so it was hidden away in an attic back home. Silver just seemed so much like the little kid who idolized his parents, no matter how high he now towered over Lilia. He was even starting to be interested in boys now, if the way he followed Sebek around was any indication. Lilia wasn’t entirely sure what he saw in his loudmouthed fellow guard, but Silver insisted he didn’t always talk about the greatness of Malleus or the inferiority of humans. Maybe being pulled toward loud, confusing humans ran in the family.
Speaking of Malleus, Lilia had had to promise him to get Diasomnia shoveled before he finally stopped dithering about visiting that new human friend of his, but it was lunchtime and there was still so. Much. Snow. Lilia had made the promise counting on Sebek’s endless enthusiasm to help “Lord Malleus,” but apparently the freshman had been on the wrong side of the mirror when the storm hit. The other underclassmen and the bats were doing their best, but they just couldn’t make up the loss. At this rate, Lilia might actually have to pick up a shovel. He wondered if Malleus was having a good time with that human at least, but knowing the housewarden he was probably just going to shovel all day and wait for them to make the first move.
Fortunately, Lilia had managed to get all the shoveling done before dinner without having to personally do any work. The bats had definitely earned their beauty sleep, and they were cashing in. A few minutes later, Malleus stepped through, looking slightly more frazzled than one would expect from shoveling. He must have visited the Ramshackle House after all. Or the Ramshackle House visited him.
“Lilia! I told Yuu that I’d tell them my actual name. Hornton’s actual name, sorry, not mine. But I can’t think of anything and they’re going to realize that Hornton doesn’t even exist and then they’ll be upset that I lied and scared of me like everyone else and they’ll uninvite me from appreciating their gargoyles and what do I do!?”
“Ok. Take a deep breath and run that by me again. First off, why would they think Honton is real? Wasn’t your secret twin their idea first?” Malleus repeated the whole story, going back to his second visit to Ramshackle House. While he spoke, Lilia recalled the sharp eyed freshman who had read the Savanaclaw housewarden like an open book, directing his defeat with only three other freshmen, a talking cat, and no magic of their own. He tried to resolve this Yuu with the complete idiot that Malleus was describing and gave up. Not to mention, they had apparently outschemed Azul on almost no sleep, and they supposedly believed that Malleus had a twin!? Although, the sleep deprivation could actually account for things. Lilia, meanwhile, was going to milk this whole situation for all it was worth. “If you can’t think of anything, just go with Hornton. From the sound of it, its really stuck, and I guarantee that Yuu’s exactly as likely to buy that your legal name is Hornton Draconia as they are to believe that you have a twin.” This was going to be hilarious.