Chapter Text
The next day was the weekly housewarden meeting. To Malleus’ surprise, he was actually anticipating going. Not quite looking forward to it, last week hadn’t exactly been enjoyable, but anticipating it nonetheless. However, when he entered the meeting room, only slightly late he might add, it was half-empty. The folding chair that Yuu had apparently dubbed “the Ramshackle seat” was empty, as were the Savanaclaw and Octavinelle seats.
Malleus wasn’t the only one disturbed by the absence. Rosehearts barely sniffed at his lateness, too focused on checking his phone for texts and throwing worried looks at Yuu’s empty seat. Al-Asim was fidgeting in his own chair, looking far more upset than Malleus had ever seen the sunny princeling. The headmage was rifling through his notes to double check what time he said to arrive, as if he thought maybe Yuu wasn’t actually late. Eventually Crowley looked up at Rosehearts. “Mr. Rosehearts, you’re friends with Yuu, right? Do you know where they’ve gone? For that matter where are Mr. Ashengrotto and Mr. Kingscholar?”
Rosehearts glared at the headmage. “Probably in the Coral Sea trying to fix your mess before they lose their dorm! Honestly, strong-arming a freshman into doing your job is downright despicable! The Red Queen’s Law #356 clearly states-“
“Yes, thank you Mr. Rosehearts, that’s very-“
Shroud’s mic clicked on. “Oh I don’t know about despicable, but it’s definitely stupid. I mean, that dumbass thinks Malleus here is actually two people! And you’re banking on them somehow outwitting Azul!? Or do you think they’ll just overpower him with all that magic they don’t ha-“ Shroud’s mic clicked off.
Malleus felt himself stiffen. He opened his mouth to refute Shroud, but realized he couldn’t think of what to say. Some of what he felt must have shown on his face though, because next to him Schoenheit looked up, paled visibly, and tried to inch away. Fortunately he was saved from actually having to think of anything by Rosehearts, who had turned bright red in rage, and was tearing Shroud a new one, apparently unaware of the “Audio Muted” message that had just appeared on screen.
Nothing really got done that meeting. Without Yuu there to moderate, things quickly dissolved into the usual mix of arguments, dick measuring, and off-topic discussion. Eventually, Malleus, Rosehearts, and Crowley drifted over to the Hall of Mirrors to wait for Yuu. There was a trail of seawater leading from the center mirror to the Octavinelle dorm. “Ah, there! Yuu has obviously completed the contract and returned to present the photo to Mr. Ashengrotto! I’ll definitely excuse their absence from today’s classes for this, after all I am such a generous educator!” Malleus was about to tell Crowley exactly what he thought of his “generosity” when the Octavinelle mirror pulsed and a whole gaggle of students stumbled through. First was Kingscholar and his sycophant, looking smug and covered in wet sand. One of the other Savanaclaw students followed behind, looking and smelling like wet dog. After him was two Heartslabyul freshmen, trying to lean on each other and walk, with a surprising degree of success. By the time the Leeches stepped through supporting a half-conscious Ashengrotto between them, Malleus was about ready to scream.
Finally, finally , Yuu limped through, clutching their ribs with one hand and an ink-stained pocketknife in the other. They were soaked to the bone, their uniform was torn in several places, and they were covered in scrapes and bruises. The cat was sprawled across their shoulders, also soaked, the flames in his ears sputtering weakly in time with his breathing. They caught sight of the headmage, glared, and performed a swaying approximation of a march over to him.
“There. All 255 poor, unfortunate idiots freed. A bunch of others too, Leona wasn’t exactly picky about which contracts he destroyed. Also, Azul overblotted, I think Floyd broke something when he squeezed (squoze?) me, and I am done with this entire week so you can find someone else to solve your next disaster.” Yuu spoke with a slight slur that seemed to be getting stronger, and squinted up at the headmage as if trying to remember what else they wanted to say. Eventually, their gaze landed on Malleus over Crowley’s shoulder, said “Hornt’n! ‘m gonna pass out now, d’you mind catching me…” and promptly fell forward.