Chapter Text
You're in Pops' room now as he stared down at you expectingly. The short amount of time it took to get back to the ship was filled with a cascade of none stop questions from everyone who was out looking for you and you didn't say a thing. They stopped asking for an explanation once you got to the ship instead just trying to get you to say anything but still nothing came out.
You wanted to, truly you did but no words came out. All of them were stuck in the back of your throat refusing to budge. They tried and tried but eventually they gave up and got Pops' who took you into his room to see if that would get you talking.
"We can sit here all day" his gruff voice makes you jump glancing up at him from your spot on his leg. You feel even more tiny then you normally do next to him as you curl in on yourself even more.
You flipped through every possible explanation you could use to try and excuse what you did but there was nothing that felt right, nothing that felt like it would be a good enough reason to prevent what you see as inevitable— them leaving you for being a inconvenience, for being a waste of their time, and for being a stubborn little shit.
"Stop trying to come up with excuses brat, tell me the truth." he says basically reading your mind.
He has being taking in kids left and right since he founded the crew so he is more well versed in the habits and tells of kids then almost everyone in the new world. It is both a blessing and a curse when it comes to you, he can always tell from even just a glance at you when you're upset even when no one else was able to tell but he can also tell when you lie or are attempting to lie like right now.
You shoot one more glance up at him only meeting his eyes for a second before looking down at your fidgeting hands "it's stupid" you manege to force out past the lump in your throat.
"Then why'd you do it?" you just shake your head and keep your eyes pined to his leg.
He doesn't pry anymore after that, you think that's worse then him getting mad at you and demanding you tell him. Since he's not saying anything you don't know what he's thinking, and since you don't know what he is thinking then that means he could be thinking about how he was going to get rid of you and that scared you more then anything.
You want them to care about you, to love you, and you messed it all up by doing what you did earlier. You don't even know why you started to think the way you did, just because they have been nothing but doting since they first picked you up and the one time they arnt you think its the end of the world.
Now they're gonna leave you for real this time.
"Are you mad at me?" You blurt out not being able to hold your thought in any longer.
"No" he says and that caught you so off guard that your head snapped up to look at him. He had to be lying, he has to be mad at you there is no other reality you can imagine.
You are about to ask why when he continues.
"No good would come of that, and besides you're not the first brat who's tried to run away."
Now you didn't expect that, everyone was so happy being apart of the crew that the thought that any of them would ever even think of doing that boggled you. Thinking as hard as you can you try to think of anyone who might do that but you really can't there is no one here who would do that.
"I don't believe that" you say huffing at him.
"Oh? Would you like me to get Thatch to come in here and tell you about it?" he says a grin coming to his face.
"Thatch ran away?!" your voice raises in disbelief. Out of everyone on the crew Thatch wasn't even on you radar for who he could be talking about. Trying to think of Thatch of all people as someone who would do something similar to what you did was wholly impossible.
"Tried to, he got even less far then you did" he said with a laugh that rattled you body. "He was fifteen or sixteen at the time and he had been apart of a bad heist that I told them not to do. He ended up taking the fall for everything going wrong even though he was the one with the least fault" he paused to let out a deep fond sigh.
Thatch had a habit of taking the blame for things that had nothing to do with him or he had little blame in, he couldn't stand seeing members of the crew get in trouble for small or big things so whenever he could he would take the fall instead. Everyone knew he did it but Pops let it slide finding it endearing.
"A few of them got hurt and he truly thought that was his fault, that he could have done more to prevent any of them from getting injures. And for a reason he doesn't even understand himself he decided it would be best if he left. He packed his things into a bag and managed to sneak off the ship in the middle of the night" he's staring at nothing with a smile on his face and you can't help the smile that also spreads over yours despite this not being a very happy story.
"He didn't get very far at all until Izou ended stumbling into him on accident"
"And Izou brought him back?" you ask softly
"Not right away. They sat on the beach and talked until the sun came up then headed back to the ship." He hums tapping his fingers against the thigh your not sitting on.
"What did they talk about?"
"No clue" he finally looks back down at you then his grin widening.
"Huh?! How do you not know?!" bafflement laces your voice as you blink up at him.
"They never told me so I'm not going to pry"
You're about to voice a complaint when he continues. "Is knowing his reasoning enough for you to tell me yours? Or do I need to tell you about everyone who tried to run away? Hm?" he says raising his eyebrows at you.
The bad feelings hit you again when he brings it back up and you hesitate for a long moment before speaking "do you promise not to get mad?"
"Yes" he says so gently that it eases some of your nervousness.
You sit there silently for a solid few minutes trying to work out the right words. "I- I thought you guys were going to leave me here" you say so quietly that you arnt even sure he heard you till he softly hums.
"Why would we do that?" he questions softly.
"I don't know! Everyone was just… Just acting so weird to me and ignoring me! No one even wanted to talk to me and that's the same thing my parents did before leaving me so- so I thought I should just leave so I would be left again"your unsure of when you started crying all you know is that there are big fat tears rolling down your cheeks. "And now everyone's mad at me and your going to actually leave me now!" before you could continue your ranting he very carefully and gently picks you up and brings you into the best hug he could manage without squishing you.
"No one is mad at you and no one is going to leave you" now pressed against his chest you can really feel the rumble of his voice though out your body and it sooth you more then you ever thought it would.
The two of you stay like that as you let all of your emotions out crying almost as hard as you did when you realized your parents had left you. Pops continues saying comforting words gently rubbing your back with his thumb waiting for your sobs to die down.
You wake up in your room rubbing your eyes with the back of your hand. The memory of falling asleep or going back to your room isn't there so confusion strikes you as you groggily sit up. Looking around nothing is any diffrent then when you were last in here save for the things on your bed being moved over slightly.
Right as you carefully step off the bed the door carefully and slowly opens as Thatch pokes his head in his eyes very quickly landing on you as a small smile goes to his face.
"Hey Pumpkin good morning" he fully comes through the door now and you see he is caring a tray full of your favorite breakfast food.
"Morning…" you mumble eyeing the food. You fell asleep before you could eat supper so hunger is eating at your stomach already "is that for me?" you ask softly.
"Mhm! Get back on in bed so I can give it to ya'" he has a extremely cheery tone to his voice that confuses you but your to hungry to dwell on it instead getting back into bed sitting with your back to the headboard.
Thatch carefully sets it on your lap before sitting on the end of your bed. There is quite a lot of food on the tray—mainly fruit and you feel a little overwhelmed with all the options so you just decide to pick randomly instead of spending more time trying to figure out what to eat then actually eating.
You sit in an awkward silents as you eat, not knowing what to do or say to Thatch at this moment. The regret you felt from yesterday is still strong in your chest and you don't know wether to cry, yell, or do nothing about it. Thatch though didn't seem to be feeling that awkwardness as he sits absentmindedly looking around your room while tapping his fingers against his thighs.
"Why?" you ask after some time not being able to get through the silents any longer.
He looks over at you with a confused tilt of his head "What do you mean 'why'?" the same confusion on his face laces his voice.
"Why'd you bring me this? I could have eaten with everyone else…" mumbling you stare down at the half eaten tray of food that—despite still being hungry—you couldn't eat anymore of.
He looked at you bewildered by your question "To make up for yesterday" he states it like its the most obvious thing in the world.
"You don't have to make up for it" you raise you voice ever so slightly as you frown at him. You should be the one making up for it, you made everyone worry.
"We do" he states matter of factly making you huff.
"Nuh uh"
"Uh huh"
"Nuh uh"
"Uh huh"
"You're annoying" you grumble giving up and crossing your arms as you pout.
"That's my job kiddo" Thatch says as he reaches over and pats your head.
"Were are we going?" you ask from atop Thatch's shoulders as the two of you make your way though the halls of the Moby.
"You'll see" he says in a cheery tone that doesn't match your mood at all.
Pouting you kick back at him but he catches you ankle before you could even make contact "Why can't you just tell me!" you whine with a huff.
"Because that would ruin the surprise"
"Surprises are stupid" you mumble under your breath just loud enough for Thatch to hear.
You could tell what part of the ship you were on as Thatch walks on, it was the section that housed the mess hall, kitchen, comms room, as well as an assortment of storage rooms. You have absolutely no clue why your heading over here given that Thatch had brought your breakfast to you and since he wont break to your pestering and you can't give him puppy dog eyes from his shoulders all you can do now is sit and wait.
Ten more minutes and the mess hall door comes into view. Staring at it you furrow your brows confused "I already ate, I'm not hungry anymore" you state as if he wasn't in the room with you as you did so.
"We're going to the kitchen not the mess hall" he says pushing the door open with his hip and you are shocked to see the entire mess hall is vacant. There is almost always at least one person in here no matter the time since everyone has their own schedule to follow.
"Whys no one here?" you ask glancing around the room.
"Ah, don't worry 'bout that" he says and you can hear the grin on his face as he speaks and you squint at the back of his head trying to figure out what's going on.
But you are ripped away from that thought as you enter the kitchen and it is also completely empty though what really catches your eye is all of the baking supplies covering the main counter. Your to surprised to say anything as Thatch hulls you off his shoulders and places you down. Out of all the possible things to be waiting for you this wasn't even on your radar, probably because you were convinced that he was just lying about making it up to you and you were actually in trouble. This though completely shatters that belief.
"Well? You gonna just stand there or are you gonna choose what to make?" Thatch's voice breaks you out of your trance causing you to look over at him with wide eyes as excitement starts to over power your scepticism.
"I get to pick?" you don't want to show him how excited about this you were but given the way he looks at you shows your doing a bad job at that.
"Mhm we'll make anything you want" his massive grin doesn't fade as he talks and you can't help but smile yourself.
"Chocolate cake?" you ask as your voice rises ever so slightly from you extremely poorly contained excitement.
Thatch simply nods gesturing for you to follow him and you practically bounce after him.
You have only baked once in your entire life and that was when you first got to the ship. You were having a hard time getting used to things and opening up to anyone so, Thatch got the idea to get you to help him bake some cookies and to the surprise of everyone even Thatch himself it had worked well. So well to the point you were clinging to him for two months straight. Everyone pestered him as to how he got it to work but he truly didn't know, the two of you barely even talked during it.
The truth to it is that you had spent your life with your old family watching them make things together since your mother was a baker and you had so desperately wanted to join in, to actually be part of the family. So to finally have the chance to do what you wanted to do with your parents and siblings for your entire life made something click inside you. It isn't even something you have consciously realized either you had just done it without thinking as to why you are doing it.
Having the chance to bake again after months of not doing so filled you with a type of joy you couldn't begin to name.
Reaching the counter you step up onto a stool that was already there ready for you to use. Being able to fully see everything on the counter you see that all the ingredients needed for a chocolate cake.
"How did you know I was gonna ask to make chocolate?" you question looking over at him as he steps beside you.
"I have my ways" he says giving you a wink, you just sick your tongue out at him. "Do you remember how to make cake from scratch?" he asks despite seeming to already know the answer since he reaches over to the note book that is practically bursting with papers that he seems to have glued onto the pages.
"No" you say watching him struggle to flip though the pages making you let out a small giggle.
"Well kiddo you got quite a few options here" he says his smile growing at the sound of your giggles.
Both you and Thatch are covered head to toe in flour, edible glitter, and cake mix. Some sprinkles even managed to find their way into Thatch's hair making you break out into a giggle fit that has become extremely common over the last two hours.
Instead of making a simple chocolate cake you made it your goal to make it as chocolatey as possible. Double chocolate cake mix, chocolate frosting, chocolate chips, chocolate bars on top of the cake, and sprinkles in the shape of chocolate chips. You wanted to try and find a way to add more but Thatch stopped you worried that you were going to give yourself a heart attack if there was any more sugar.
"Alright lets put this in the fidge for now and get the both of us cleaned up" Thatch says as he picks up the cake making his way over to one of the fridges.
"What? No! I want a piece now!" you whine pouting and grabbing onto his shirt as you follow after him trying to prevent him from putting it away. "what if someone eats it!" that was the best and most realistic excuse you could think of since so many people (primarily Ace) love to go digging in the fridges and eating anything in their sight.
"You don't gotta worry about that pumpkin, no one will be coming into here until after dinner time" he says while putting the cake on the highest shelf out of your reach.
His words gave you a small pause making you tilt your head questioningly "huh? why?"
"You'll find out but first we gotta get clean" he picks you up not giving you another chance to protest as you quickly leave the kitchen.
When you leave the bathroom after cleaning up and changing you expect Thatch to be out there waiting for you but instead Izou is.
"I was wondering how much longer you would be" the edge that is always in his voice no matter who he's talking to is gone replaced with something soft and gentle, its the same tone he used the day they had found you which weirds you out more then it should.
"Where's Thatch?" you ask blinking up at him.
"He's helping Marco with some things so you're stuck with me now. Hopefully that's alright with you" that makes your stomach do bad flips as you begin to frown. You still wanted to spend more time with Thatch but he just left not even bothering to tell you himself.
Sighing and crouching down so he's level with you Izou places a gentle hand on your shoulder saying "He said that he'll be back before you know it, ok?" you simply nod in reply your frown not fading.
The sinking feeling would be a lot less intense if he had just told you himself but Izou's reassurement did south it the slightest amount.
Standing up without taking his hand off of you Izou gestures down the hall towards the direction to his room which isn't very far since Thatch had insisted on you using the commanders shared bathroom so you can have an actual bath. "Now, how does a game of cards sound to you?" he says already walking before got the chance to answer.
Quickly catching up with him you grab hold of his sleeve "I wanted to play cards with Rakuyo and Curiel yesterday" you say absentmindedly.
"Their not allowed to play with cards anymore remember? They were being to stupid." there's an annoyance in his tone that makes you extremely thankfully to not be on the receiving end of. But you were also confused since the only reason the thought of playing it with them crossed your mind was because you walked in on them playing.
"But I saw them playing" you say confused, you really thought they were allowed to now! Why else would they be doing it?
Izou clicks his tongue disapprovingly and raises his hand to his face massaging his temple in a combination of frustration, disappointment, and annoyance. "Were they now?"
"Yeah! And when I asked to join them they kicked me out and slammed the door in my face!" your own annoyance seeps into your voice as you speak for entirely different reasons then Izou.
"I will talk to them about that later. Thank you for telling me" Izou says as he takes a deep breath to calm down his nerves.
"Good that was really mean of them" you mumble with a huff.
Izou hums in agreement as you both reach and enter his room. You've only been in Izou's room once to grab something for him and it looks no different from then. It's them probably them most organized and clean bedroom on the entire ship it almost feels like there is no one living in it with how perfect it is. But the just barely crumpled sheets and the ever changing smells of different perfumes gives it away.
There is already a deck of cards laid out ready for a game sitting on the small table that Izou keeps in the middle of his room and you feel of trill of excitement shoot though you.
"You remember how to play right?" he asks sitting down on one side of the table as you do the same.
Scoffing you give him a pointed look (which just makes him laugh) "who doesn't know how to play go fish?"
"Blamenco didn't know how to play when he first joined the crew" Izou says while picking up his cards and gesturing for you to do the same "you can go first"
"How did he not know?" you ask while glancing down at your cards you have a two, a five, a king, a six, and a seven no pairs "do you have a two?"
Izou pulls a two from his hand and hands it over to you "He never played it before and he didn't particularly care to watch anyone else play it"
"Oh. Did he have no friends?" you mumble focusing on your cards trying to decided which to ask next. "Do you have a… Five?" you eyes flick up to him as you ask
"No, go fish" he says while holding back a laugh you just ignore it and pick up a card, which was a nine. "I'm sure he did have friends he just had other things he wanted to do and card games never concerned him"
"Like fishing?"
"Like fishing. Now do you have a eight?"
"Nope, you need to go fishing" you say as a mischievous smirk crosses your face.
After that the conversation halts and the two of you focus on the game both getting a fair amount of pairs. Playing this with Izou is a lot more fun then you thought it would be, every time you've seen him playing any type of card game he was a lot more serious about it but you think that's because they were betting berry for those games. Eventually though there are no more cards left in the deck so both of you go to count the pairs you have.
"I have ten" Izou says as he smiles at you already knowing how this game went.
"I have sixteen pairs! I win!" you announce happily and pump you fists in the air in celebration "I'm the best go fish player to ever live!" you say with a massive grin on your face.
"Indeed you are" Izou laughs out as he collects all the cards up and puts them back into a nice stack. "Do you want to play again?" he asks as he sends a quick glance over to the clock on his wall.
"Yes!" you say excitedly smiling at him.
"Alright, but first, we need to have a little bit of a serious conversation for a second ok?" that makes your smile falter. You have no clue what that could be about, you don't think you've done anything wrong today? Is he mad at you for yester day? Pops said non of them were mad but what if Izou is and just didn't say anything about it?
"Ok…" you say hesitantly. Your mood has taken a nose dive but you still don't feel as bad as you did yesterday so that's definitely a good thing but still the pit that abruptly formed in the bottom of your stomach doesn't feel very pleasant.
"You're not in trouble at all" he quickly reiterates being able to tell exactly were your mind was going and it does ease the ache a smidge.
"I just need you to know that there are going to be more days like yester day were all of us are to busy to spend time with you but you can not react like that again. A lot of us understand what your feeling and have been their ourselves so you need to tell us if you are feeling ignored or neglected so we can actually do something about it ok?" his tone is as soft and gentle as he can manage and to your own surprise it soothes your worry for the most part.
You have heard a lot of stories of how people have ended up on the crew and some of them have been extremely similar to what you went though but in the heat of the moment that didn't matter all that mattered was your worries. The thought that someone on the crew could have had the same exact thought as you did at some point seemed impossible to you but with what Pops said about Thatch and what Izou is saying now it makes you actually start to think about it.
"Ok… I- I am sorry, for worrying you I mean" you mumble looking down at the ground.
"I'm sorry to. I shouldn't have brushed you off the way I did" he says softly as he sighs
"It's ok you were busy" you say with a shrug
"But it wasn't ok. I was needlessly rude and I could have stoped and spent some time with you but I didn't so I should apologize for it" the sternness in his voice makes it clear he will not tolerate you trying to tell him its fine again. Then after a moment he sighs again (he's doing that a lot right now) before speaking again "I didn't mean to pull down your mood like that but it needed to be said sooner then later"
Your really not used to people actually caring about your feelings so for Izou to show his care so openly like this makes you feel a lot of things and makes it hard for you to figure out what to say so you settle on something easy "Whatever" you shrug as you look up at him now and are met with a soft smile that you can't help but reciprocate.
"Are you still up for another game?" he asks shuffling the cards and you nod.