Work Text:
Ilya ♥️
You know car stuff right?
car stuff?
Yeah, like trends to do with cars, internet stuff?
Jesus Hollander. You are fifty now?
fuck off
someone left this on my car
😂😂
You got ducked!
Is that a typo? Autocorrect?
You know nothing Shane Hollander
Ilya ♥️
It happened again
Hello Моя любовь
Hi, yeah, whatever.
There’s more ducks now
Ducks? Hollander what are you talking about
On my Jeep. I found another duck.
😂 did you not google?
Why would I google this?
Wait, is my car on google? Do people know it’s me??
Hollander you are so boring
Is not you, is your car.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
Ilya ♥️
Is it you doing this?
Context is nice
Dicks
Yes I have nice one
You like very much
NO. You pervert
**Ducks
Are you paying someone to put them on my car?
You think I have nothing better to do?
I am very busy man. Is hard work being best hockey player and sexiest man in world. You would not know
Fuck you!
Yes, I am very good at that too
I hate you
😘😘
Ilya ♥️
HELP ME
Моя любовь?
You ok??
Shane?! Answer me!
????
I call Canada horse police?
NO
Fuck… just look
You like rubber duckies?
I never knew you had whimsy
I am shocked
This was NOT me
They just appeared!
Do you think I have a stalker? Should I call the police?
Hmm maybe
You should call horse police and report it
I see headline now
”Shane Hollander terrorised by childrens bath toys”
Why did I think you would be helpful?
And duck you!
**FUCK YOU
Ducking autocorrect
FUCKING FUCK
😂 😂😂
Ilya ♥️
What does “You’ve been ducked” mean?
Am I being threatened?
Maybe
Really?????
Maybe yes, hockey fans are strange people.
Oh fuck. I should call the police right? Like this is a serious threat?
I’ve got to call my mom. Maybe I should get a bodyguard?
Боже мой Hollander!
Is internet trend.
People put duckies on Jeeps they see. Is friendly thing from boring jeep owners to other boring jeeps. Is meant to be fun!
Oh. OK.
...
You have already contacted security people haven’t you?
Shut up.
Ilya ♥️
Do you think I got enough?
What is this?
For the Duck Duck Jeep game
I got like 300 from Etsy. I’ll definitely win
Win? I do not think this is game with a winner
All games have winners
I ducking love you Shane Hollander
Autocorrect?
No 😘