Chapter Text
“Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town. Waiting for someone or something to show you the way.”
Tara turned to face the group of men and it was like going back in time. Chibs, Happy, Bobby, Tig, a guy with a shaved head and tattoos, a prospect, and another guy were in front of her. Then there was Jax. He was in the middle of the group. Good grief, he was still absolutely, impossibly handsome.
Tig, Chibs, and Happy let out an “Oh shit” at the same time. The look of shock, and for the tiniest second love, passed over Jax’s face but he quickly schooled it. She didn’t know what to think and that unnerved her. Then Bobby pushed through the group and pulled her into a bear hug.
“Holy shit! What the hell are you doing back in this dump of a town, girl?” She couldn’t help but laugh. “It’s nice to see you too, Uncle Bobby.” The other guys looked at Jax nervously and realization hit the new guys and they looked shocked but kept quiet. “I’m here for a job at Saint Thomas and just got in town a few days ago.”I’m on my way home now.”
Jax spoke up, “That’s not a good idea, Tara. We are going to the clubhouse. You’ll probably only need to stay overnight but it’s for your own safety.”
All Tara could think was this is exactly why she left for college. The ridiculousness of the life he lived. You can’t just go out to get dinner, some ice cream, and go home and relax without it turning into an episode of Mission: Impossible.
“Jesus Christ. Just like old times. Can I at least ask why you are going into lockdown?” She had so much shit to do and sitting in the clubhouse with Queen Gemma holding court with the Croweaters was not part of that. She needed a shower and some sleep. Shit, she hadn’t done her trauma-informed yoga and if this wasn’t the definition of why she needed it lord knows what was.
Jax looked at her with the shadow of a smirk, “Sure babe, right after we talk about why you skipped town on me in the middle of the night and show back up here like you were just gone for the weekend.” Jax look pissed and amused at the same time.
“Get on the bike, and welcome home.”
Getting on Jax’s bike was another flood of memories that Tara wasn’t ready to deal with. Maybe that was the point. You’re never really ready to deal with the shitty stuff like Kohn; the stalking, the abortion, and the attempted murder. All she hears and sees when she closes her eyes at night is him beating her and telling her she was just a stupid biker slut and always would be. He said that he was going to murder her the same way she murdered their baby. If it wasn’t for her neighbor hearing her screaming she would be dead.
Then there was the trial. She tried to keep it as low key as possible. The judge agreed to keep it closed and seal the records. The Chicago PD, ATF, FBI and possibly the CIA all wanted everything suppressed. Especially since she had tried getting help. Her complaints were ignored and it took three precincts just to get a basic restraining order.
Holding on to Jax felt good. It felt like she was home. She knew he wasn’t going to let go of what she did when she left. She would never apologize for leaving and making something out of herself. She didn’t like the person she was becoming in Charming.
She loved Jax more than life itself at times, but she knew that it was not sustainable. She couldn’t sit at home making babies and hoping he would come home alive at night. She wanted a white picket fence 2.5 kids and a dog. That just wasn’t going to happen with him
As they pulled into the lot, Tara had that verklempt feeling building again. Jax helped her off the bike, “Looks like you didn’t forget how to ride old lady style.” Tara laughed and it felt good. If she could keep this vibe going with Jax, maybe they could work through their shit. Right now she needed a shower and some yoga. Shit where is she going to sleep? A wave of panic and desire hit her when she thought about where she would sleep.
As if they still had that psychic connection, she started to ask where Bobbie’s room was so she could take a shower and go to bed. Jax beat her to the punch, “Bobby doesn’t stay here anymore, you can sleep in my room. I’ll stay on the couch.”
She raised an eyebrow, but went with it. As they passed the bar, she locked eyes with Gemma. Jax cut his mom off with, “I’ll explain later. Leave her alone.” Gemma was pissed but bit her tongue. She looked at Chibs who was ready with, “Don’t look at me Gem. That’s his story to tell.”
As they entered the room, another wave of emotion and hormones hit her even harder. The room looked exactly the same down to the flag above his bed. Tara decided she had to take control of the situation when he started his signature move to take off his shirt. Shit, he still had that rock hard body.
He was facing away from her, so she asked him for a towel. When he turned around he almost died from shock. There was Tara, stripped to her bra and panties waiting for him to get the towel. To make matters worse she was in a g-string which always had been the best showcase for that apple bottom of an ass she always had. Her tits were even better than he remembered.
When did she get so bold? He had to practically tackle her to get her out of her clothes back in the day, but here she was walking into the bathroom taking off her bra before she even hit the door.
She still has his crow.
Fuck. This was going to be a long night.
That was possibly the best shower Tara ever had. She was covered in Jax’s scent and for a moment felt nineteen again. As she got out of the shower, she realized she left her clothes out in the room. She wrapped herself in the towel and peeked out the door into the room. She saw her pants and top folded into the chair and Jax nowhere in sight.
She decided to as quickly as possible change out in the bedroom because it wasn’t very spacious in the bathroom. She got her clothes back on and decided to do some yoga. It had always been the best way to relax and during physical therapy in the hospital it had helped her process all of the trauma.
Her shirt was sweaty and she didn’t want to sleep only in her bra. She figured since this slumber party was involuntary, Jax could spare a t-shirt. She found a SAMCRO one in the exact drawer they had always been in. No surprise there, his mom probably still did his laundry.
She was swimming in the shirt and memories when she took off the bra and climbed in the bed to sleep. It felt like coming home and that’s exactly what she was afraid of. She figured she would turn the lights off and deal with it in the morning.
Jax was fighting his own civil war. His brain was telling him to crash on the couch but his traitorous dick was like a compass and dragging him to his room. Christ, Tara was more beautiful than he remembered and when he smugly took off his shirt he expected to turn around and find her blushing.
Instead, he turned finding her in a lacy red matching lingerie set straight out of Victoria’s Secret. She smiled and took the towel he almost dropped and started to take off her bra. That’s when he knew he had to get out of there before his dick followed her to the shower.
He still loved her so much. He understood why she left and he almost left with her. When she turned around in Scoops he felt the earth drop out beneath him. He honestly did not know what to say. He had practiced it for so many years and when she was right there in front of him his mind went blank.
All he could think about was the fact that the Irish said they would take away everything he loved. His first thought was Abel, then she was the next. Not his ex-wife. Not his mother. Not his brothers.
There was so much shit to deal with between the Irish and now Tara had popped up after almost fifteen years and he needed to get dressed. It was early so he quietly went into his room. Tara was sleeping and all he could think of was how badly he wanted to get into bed with her and just hold her. As he went to his dresser, she was mumbling in her sleep and started to cry. He froze when he heard her say, “Please don’t kill me.”
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