Chapter Text
The sight of Severus standing in James' home sent a thrill of shock up his spine. Since seeing him at Harry, Neville and Draco’s joint birthday on July 15th, James could not get the other man out of his mind.
From the day they’d first met on the train to the last day of fourth year in 1975. James, Sirius, Remus and Peter, had been nothing but cruel to him. Snape gave as good as he got, sure. But for the most part, he and his three friends had started almost every encounter.
“....And he can’t have chocolate unless you’re willing to put up with him bouncing off your walls. Potter? Are you listening?” Severus snapped his fingers in James face as he jolted from the action.
“Sorry Snape, I’m a little tired. What was that?” James asked, the exhaustion coating his voice. Severus only nodded and continued to cut his pancake.
“I said, Draco is allergic to seafood. At least most seafood. And he can’t have chocolate if you don’t want him pinging off the walls.” James nodded his head as he watched Severus chew the pancake.
“Ok, which seafood can’t he have?” James asked,
“He’s good with crab or lobster. But no other shellfish.” Severus spoke as he cut another piece of pancake, when he was done, he took a sip of his coffee. Which James noted, he took with a bit of milk and no sugar.
“Well, with that, I believe we’re done here. Thank you for breakfast,” Severus stood to leave but James grabbed his arm and pulled him back down to his seat.
“Wait, ah actually why don’t you stay for a bit. We can catch up,” James' words gave Severus a prickle of uncertainty.
“About what? We don’t really have anything in common.”
“We both loved Lily?” Severus eyebrows shot up, James flushed at his own carelessness.
“You do know I'm gay, yes?” It was James turn for his brows to shoot up,
“Ah, I did love Lily. But that was a once off. It ended poorly, and I admit, perhaps I went a little too far but it’s too late now.” Severus continued, to James' confusion.
“Oh, I didn’t know that.” James said,
“And how could you? For the most part, when it didn’t involve Lily, I could be circumspect.” Severus said, the room became awkward and silent except for the sound of children laughing in the other room.
“Are you seeing anyone? I could introduce you to someone,” James asked, trying to move past the discomfort. Severus only exhaled.
“What do you really want, Potter?” Severus' words seemed to hold a sense of pity.
“I’m curious about you, I think we all are really,” The words that left James mouth filled Severus with confusion,
“Why? I don’t really understand.”
“Why not? You up and left, like there was nothing worth staying for. Not Lily, or Regulus or anything else.” James wasn’t accusatory, only calm and curious.
“Why would I stay? What was there for me, worth staying for?” The words seemed to fill James with regret and guilt.
“James, from day one you and your hodgepodge of friends thought I was nothing but evil. Lily, my only non-slytherin friend, came to hate me. That was my own fault, sure but teachers did nothing about all the kerfuffle you four got into, you were almost like gods amongst children. Look what you did to Bertram Aubrey. You could have killed him, but the worst you ever got from the staff at Hogwarts was a detention or no Hogsmeade.” James contemplated Severus' words, the truth of them hitting like a brick to the face.
“We changed after you left, after your letter,” The mention of a letter stopped Severus in his tracks as he slowly widened his eyes in fear.
“What letter?” The ghostly sound of his voice drew James attention like a hawk,
“The one you wrote to Lily, after fourth year. She brought it to school in fifth year, she blamed us you know.” Severus exhaled deeply at James' words, a haunted look filling his eyes.
“That bloody letter, god that’s so embarrassing," Severus' lip curled in disgust.
“You blamed everyone, we were the reason you ran away and I get that I played a part in all of it Snape, I just want to bridge that gap and,” James says before he is rudely interrupted,
“Stop, just stop please. Potter, whatever you remember about that letter, please just forget about it ok.” The look of pure mortification on Severus' face is almost comical, had James not been filled with confusion.
“I didn’t run away.” Severus uttered, red face and shameful.
“Yeah you did, you didn’t return to Hogwarts.” James said incredulously.
“No, my father died and my mothers relatives took me in. They lived in France, it didn’t make sense to keep going to Hogwarts. I transferred to Beauxbatons.” Rubbing a hand down his face, Severus continued to explain.
“I sent that letter to Lily, yes. But I was just being a drama queen, to be honest, I didn’t think she’d read it. Let alone take it to school for show and tell. I am absolutely ashamed that I did that, it’s a deeply unsettling memory that I hope we can put behind us.” Severus continued. James burst out into laughter, the very sound highlighting Severus mortification.
“Ok, so yeah. That makes so much more sense. You moved away.” James said with shining, mirthful eyes,
“Why didn’t you just stay with your mum? Couldn’t you have stayed at Hogwarts?” James asked,
“My mother died on August 10th, 1973. During the holidays between second and third year.” Understanding dawned on James face.
“Ok, that makes much, much more sense. So you moved to France with your mothers family and wrote that letter.” James Said in understanding,
“Yep, like a revenge thing. I regretted it as soon as the owl left my window. I spent all this time hoping Lily never opened it, but I guess I was wrong, huh?” The flush in his face seemed to cool down as he looked at his watch.
“Potter, as embarrassing and enlightening as this was, I need to go. I have some appointments to get to.” Severus said, standing and this time James stood with him.
“It was good to catch up with you Snape, we should get together and do this again some time.” James said with a smile, guiding him back to the floo.
“Sure, let’s just hope it’s a little less awkward next time.” Severus smiled slightly, as he flooed away.
Awkward as it was, James was happy with the outcome and he couldn’t wait to tell Sirius and Remus.
~~~~~
The crawling feeling climbed up Severus' spine as he looked over his shoulder. For weeks now, someone had been watching him. At first, Severus couldn’t be sure. Ever since he boarded the train for Hogwarts on September 1st, 1973, He’d had the sick feeling someone was following him.
He’d thought it was the marauders, but they always made themselves apparent. What need had they to hide, when everyone treated them and their very existence like a blessing. Severus ignored the terrifying chill that seemed to follow him, believing whoever it was would grow bored.
Until October 3rd, when he woke to find a piece of his hair had been cut. Someone had come into the Slytherin dorm and cut his hair. For weeks, he thought his dorm mates had played a cruel trick on him, but nope. No one looked at him funnier than usual, or snickered more than usual.
As each day passed, more and more alarming things happened to him. The sound of footsteps following along when he knew he was alone. Each time he turned, no one was there. And then it got worse, his underwear disappearing from the bathroom as he showered to notes lovingly crafted and deposited in his bed.
Severus did the only thing he knew of and went to Narcissa at Regulus' behest. For a time, it seemed to stop. Little did Severus know, things would only get worse in the coming year.