Chapter Text
“Was she told when she was young that pain would lead to pleasure? Did she understand it when they said That a man must break his back to earn his day of leisure? Will she still believe it when he's dead?Ah, girl, girl, girl”
When Tara returned to Charming Jax was knee deep in a divorce, a baby he didn’t want, on the way with a woman he didn’t love, and an illegal arms trafficking business that had become so convoluted he thought that they should just stick closer to home and run arms for some central American banana republic guerrilla front. It would save the hassle of dealing with the mercurial Irish and the curveballs they seemed to enjoying throwing into every deal and they could get a vacation package included.
His joke of a marriage was finally coming to an end after they tried reconciling. All that was accomplished out of that was a baby and him moving out, leaving her in the house until the baby came or the divorce was final. He was a terrible boyfriend and an even worse husband. He would try to be decent father. Wendy wasn’t cut out for the life no matter how much Gemma tried to groom her. The irony was that Tara was a better old lady than Wendy but Gemma would never admit that.
He tried to believe his mother when she said Tara was the root of all of the evil in his life for the last ten years. Wendy blamed her for their failed marriage, but he knew he didn’t love her when they married. He was lonely and had given up hope that Tara was ever coming home.
With all of this in mind, she was the last person on Earth he expected to see at the point in time. Her dad died about six months before and everything was handled between her and the lawyers from Chicago where she was still living while finishing up medical school and training. He couldn’t believe it took this long to become a doctor but apparently she was in the third year of a seven year surgery training program at Chicago Presbyterian Hospital.
Six months ago she had applied for transfer to the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota to complete her residency and had been accepted. That’s when he finally gave up hope of her returning. If she was going to come home ever again she would transfer to San Francisco, Los Angeles, or anywhere west of the Rocky fucking Mountains.
His mother made it a point to tell everyone around him to not tell him anything about her. Apparently, she thought he didn’t know how to use the fucking internet and he just let her keep thinking that. Besides, that’s what they had Juice for too. He knew exactly where she was, what she was doing, and who she was doing it with. For the last eleven years that’s all he had thought about.
They had left things so messed up when she left Charming. She was tired of fighting Croweaters and random girls when they tried to push up on him. He didn’t cheat but she sure as shit knew the rules of the club when it came to road pussy. He never fucked anyone in town or on the road but a random blow job here and there was hardly cheating in his life.
He didn’t want to lose her though. When she told him she got a full-ride to UCSD and that she could use the that home economics scholarship for med school after four years in San Diego. He was terrified she would leave him and never come back. So when she immediately said she wanted him to go with her, he was almost ready to go until Gemma found out and the shit hit the proverbial fan.
He didn’t leave and she did. She had sacrificed a year of her life to try and get him to follow her. She only had one year, a gap year, or she would forfeit the scholarship. He couldn’t make her stay and she couldn’t make him go with her.
He was a wreck when she left. All he wanted to do was drink, get stoned, and get laid. Ten years of fucking nameless, faceless women did nothing to numb the pain or lessen him clearly seeing only her face even when he just wanted a fucking blowjob.
She showed up on a Friday and walked into the Christmas tree lighting on Main Street with Donna like she had never left. The club always sponsored it and were also there as security. He was talking to Chibs about some club issues when he heard his mother say, “What the FUCK is that bitch doing here?”
He turned and the shock of her face talking with Donna and Opie hit him all at once. All the pain of the last ten years slammed into him and split his chest open and rubbed his last nerve reserved only for her raw. His vision tunneled to her face. She was even more beautiful than he remembered.
He didn’t know what to do. How could Opie and Donna just stand there chitchatting with her like she just came back from a weekend trip to Disneyland? He spent the last ten years telling himself that he hated her and if she ever did come back he would make her life just as miserable as his had been since she left.
Seeing her now though, he knew he couldn’t do that. She got away and made something out of the miserable childhood that she suffered. Until he fell in love with her when he was sixteen, he never knew the extent of her misery. She deserved all the happiness that the world could give her and that he knew he could not.
His mother must have seen his face because she walked over to him, “Jax, baby, are you ok?” He could see the fear in her eyes that had lived on her face for the first year after she left and he almost took himself out by drowning himself in weed, booze, and pussy.
“I’m fine, Ma. I’m just going to grab a beer and be right back.”
To make matters worse, his crank head soon-to-be ex-wife showed up and made a bee line for him, acting like they weren’t getting a divorce. Shit, Gemma probably sent out the Batshit Crazy Bitch signal to Wendy the second after she saw Tara and told Wendy to haul her ass down here if she ever wanted another chance with him before Tara got her ties back in him.
That was not happening.
Jax lost her in the crowd and ducked into the ice cream parlor that had been there since before he was born. He used to bring Tara here when they were teenagers. That was another thought he tried to shove back to the compartment he had built over the last decade for those memories but since he just saw her, it would not let him close that lid so easily. As he headed towards the bathroom he was relieved to have lost Wendy.
He was not paying attention when he ran into someone as he looked back to make sure Wendy was gone. He started to apologize and it was Tara’s face literally inches from his. The look of shock was the same for her and for just a few seconds he can see that she was just as bewildered, like she was looking to escape from someone too.
“Jax! I am so sorry.” Hearing her actual voice for the first time since she left sent a thrill down his chest that he hoped was not a heart attack. He could not help but smile, even though he wanted to yell at her. As if muscle memory took over, he hugged her. She stiffened at first but the relaxed as if this was what she needed too. He wanted to kiss her so bad.
The semi-private booth they used to sit in was open and he grabbed her hand and pulled her over to it. She laughed and the compartment opened wide and every feeling he had suppressed for the last ten years flew out like Pandora’s Box.
He grabbed her hands across the table, “What are you doing here?! I mean when did you get back?” Tara looked at him as if she was going to drop a bomb. “I’ve been here since Tuesday. I’m starting at Saint Thomas on Monday. I transferred my surgical residency here. They offered to pay off my student loans from medical school through a federal grant to attract doctors to rural underserved hospitals.
It was like an atom bomb went off and he didn’t know what to say but tried. “So you’re back here for good? You’re coming home?” Tara smiled meekly. “Yeah, I’m living in my dad’s house to save money. It’s paid off so I figured I’m just going to fix it up and go from there.”
He couldn’t ask why she wasn’t in Minnesota at the Mayo Clinic because that would reveal him to be a creepy stalker so he just went with her story. Jax had a wicked thought and grabbed her hands again. “We are going to celebrate. I’m taking you to the Lounge.” The Lounge was the local bar the Sons have run since they’ve been in Charming.
Tara looked at him nervously. “I don’t think that’s a good idea Jax. I ducked in here after your mom cornered me. She practically threatened me to stay away from you. She told me you’re married to Wendy and have a baby on the way.”
Of course she did. Jax was pissed. “Did she also tell you that I’ve filed for divorce? We don’t live together and haven’t for six months.” Fuck Wendy and his mother. “So it’s ok. I’m taking you over there and Gemma can go through me if she’s got a problem. He was desperate for her to stay. He couldn’t let her leave him again so quickly. It was like she was a mirage and if he let her go he would really never see her again.
Tara smiled and for a second he thought she might be relieved too. They made their way through the crowd and down the street. It was quiet inside the bar, only Chibs was there. His eyes widened when he saw Tara with Jax. In his thick Scottish accent he quietly said, “Jesus Christ, Jackie. You better be glad your Ma and Wendy went back to the clubhouse looking for you because they would flip their shit if they saw you with her. Gemma is ready to run her out of town with pitchforks and torches.”
Jax laughed. “Fuck that. We are celebrating.” Chibs laughed and hugged Tara. “You still know how to get Gemma worked up, don’t you Tara?” She laughed, “Just me being alive apparently makes her mad.”
Chibs laughed. “And there she is blowing up my phone. I’ll tell her I found you balls deep in a busty blonde and she’ll lay off.”
Jax and Tara spent the rest of the night drinking and talking. Tara was ready to go and the tree lighting was long over. He brought his bike and she got on with him. Nothing felt more right than her finally with him on his bike again.
As they pulled up to her house, she was even tipsier. He walked her up to the door. She unlocked the door and as he turned to go, she grabbed his hand and pulled him into the house with her.
The door closed and she pushed up on him and that’s all it took. Ten years of frustration and they were in her bedroom in less than a minute. He could not stop kissing her and they were both naked within seconds. He couldn’t bury himself in her fast enough. He looked at her and for the first time in ten years he was finally seeing the only face he always saw.
God, she was beautiful. At first, he took it slow with her like he did her first time. Then her gasps and sighs grew louder and his need for her took over. She begged him to let her cum just like she used to. He made her wait and dragged himself ever so slowly over that one spot she loved. Then when she couldn’t stop saying his name and he couldn’t hold back any longer, they came together.
