Chapter Text
Holy shit!
He jolted awake at the most annoying sound he'd ever heard! He grasped at his pockets, the source of the disturbance, and pulled out his phone. He hadn't been called in so long he didn't even remember what his ringtone was anymore. Who could be calling at this ungodly hour? Oh, right, the giant time difference. He'd forgotten where he was for a second.
He didn't even bother to look as he picked up. “Yeah?” he answered warily, still half asleep, but fully annoyed.
“Hey, Spooky” he got back.
His stomach jumped a little. “Hi…” he replied, a whole different kind of warily and annoyed somehow. Of course it had to be him…
“I need a favor” Logan started, frustratingly cryptically.
What the hell does that mean?! Get on with it!
“Alright?!” he replied in exasperation, trying to get him to elaborate.
“Cool! Thanks. Just let me know when you've got time. See ya”. Logan hung up.
Nico hung on for a second, then stared at his phone. Gods, that moron… Himself too, actually. What did he get himself into now…? He tried not to smile as he looked out over the thousands of tiny lights illuminating Rome in the distance.
The next evening, the shadows dragged him across the ocean in a single short, tedious step. The cold whispers got blown away by the rustling of the trees around him. Just like that, the dry Italian evening made way for the humid upstate New York afternoon.
He rolled his shoulders in a useless attempt to adjust to the sudden changes, and looked ahead. A familiar figure leaned on Gwen’s porch fence, scowling at his phone. Still reading the message Nico had just sent, he assumed.
Nico stepped out of the shadows, into sight.
Logan perked up. He blinked in surprise, then grinned. “Woah! Just as fast as last time”.
Nico shrugged and walked closer. “Same trick” he replied casually, trying not to show how out of breath he still was.
Logan stood up straight, still grinning. “Well. Hey, I guess. How are you?” he asked.
He sounded friendly and sincere. Was this the type of relationship they had now? Even if they did, was Nico really going to answer that honestly?
“Good” Nico replied flatly, almost like a reflex. He always did when someone asked how he was doing. An easy answer, an easy out. “You?” he asked in return. He caught himself actually caring. Hoping, maybe even.
“Pretty bad” Logan replied with a faint smile. “You?” he asked with a smirk.
Nico pursed his lips. Ugh, you tenacious… Jerk? No, that didn’t really feel right… “Fine... Not good, actually. Downright evil, even” he quipped in one last attempt to get him off his back.
Logan visibly suppressed a laugh, then cocked his head in a mix of amusement and annoyance. He kept looking at him expectantly.
Nico caved with a sigh. Anyway, how was he even feeling? He actually thought about it for once. “I mean, less bad than last time?” Nico almost asked instead of answered.
Logan’s smile brightened. “Guess, that’s a start” he conceded.
Sure. Nico didn’t bother hiding his own smile. “So, what do you want from me?” he threw at him.
Logan’s smile brightened even more. “Mark told me something. That children of Ares can raise the dead too. I mean, as long as they died in battle”.
“On the losing side” Nico corrected.
“Right” Logan pointed at him and went on. “So, I figured…”. He paused, looking up in thought. “Dope…?” he finally shrugged.
Nico chuckled. Yeah. That sounds like something you'd figure.
Logan smiled. “Do you think you can teach me?”
Did he? Nico thought about it. “Never tried to before… But, I’ll give it a shot?” he concluded, stepping up on the porch. There shouldn't be any harm in it, anyway. At worst, it just wouldn’t work. Besides, he owed Logan big time. Many times, too. This was probably actually the least he could do.
“Cool!” Logan replied excitedly. He looked him over, lingering on Nico’s stomach.“You really are a fan” he said, jabbing him in the chest with his fist, punching Nosferatu right in the face.
“Yeah…” Nico admitted. “I guess?”.
Logan opened the door to the kitchen and gave him a nod. “Come say hello to Gwen. She hasn’t shut up about you since I told her you were coming over”.
Nico grinned, mentally preparing himself on his way over to the door. Well, not even all the way over. Gwen’s arms were around him before he fully stepped through the doorway. She almost broke his ribs. And his eardrum. He gave her a few pats on the back to appease her. “Hi, Gw-” he tried, as soon as his lungs got room to expand.
Her stern finger on his forehead cut him off. It efficiently swiped his hair aside and clinically traced the scar. It was still a little sensitive, he noticed.
She hummed approvingly. Then finally smiled at him. “Hiya, Nicky~!” she chimed. “Good to see you!”
“You too, Gwen” he returned, sincerely.
“What are you boys up to this time?” she asked, warily looking from one to the other.
Nico gestured for her to calm down. “Just raising the dead” he reassured.
“Oooh~! fun” she mused, pulling an exaggerated enticed expression. She cocked her head and crossed her arms, suddenly very serious. “Both of you be careful this time! No more scars, okay?”.
Both of them stuck up their hands. “Promise” they echo’d.
She narrowed her eyes, staring them down. They didn’t crack under the pressure, smiling right back. Her stern expression slowly dissipated.
Class didn’t start right away, making room for a short break to catch up on the porch. Nico’s favourite kind of ‘catching up’, the type where no one said anything, not figuratively, but literally. It would have been perfect if Logan hadn’t been shamelessly staring at him the entire time, trying to get him to speak.
“You’ve lost weight” he said suddenly as he gave Nico a pinch in his side.
Nico yelped.
In an attempt at revenge he pinched him right back. Logan was in better shape than he thought. It was like squeezing a statue. In his surprise he pulled his hand back slightly. It must have shown on his face because Logan snickered, clenching his cigarette between his teeth.
“Ugh!” Nico let out as he rolled his eyes.
Logan dug something out of his pocket and shoved it into Nico’s hand. “Here, eat that” he said.
Nico looked at the sad looking energy bar in his hand. He decided not to fight it. After unwrapping it, he took a bite. He took his time chewing it, then looked at it again. “This has no business being this good” he decided out loud.
Logan laughed. “What are you on about? They suck! You’re just hungry”.
Nico huffed, more amused than annoyed.
“I’ve got a whole box, you can have them if you want” Logan offered.
Nico looked at him. He thought about it for a while. Accepting hand outs was definitely not his style... “Hm, if you don’t even like them…”.
They stared at the woods for a minute, leaning on the porch fence. Nico chewed, lost in even more thoughts. “Thanks” he said without thinking.
“Huh?” Logan responded, cocking his head slightly.
For looking out for me. Nico raised the wrapper of the energy bar.
“Oh!” Logan shrugged ”Sure, man”.
Nico crumpled the wrapper in his hand, hiding it away in his pocket.
He hadn’t even realized he’d gotten lost in his thoughts until Logan nudged him in the side with something a lot more angular, and a lot less warm than his fist. Nico blinked at the small box.
Right.
He quickly hid the remaining energy bars in his inner pocket. “Thanks” he mumbled, careful not to meet his eyes.
“You ready?” they both asked, glancing over at the same time.
Ha. Guess that answers that question. Logan smirked. Nico tried not to smirk back, beckoning him to follow instead.
Finding any casualties of war wasn’t going to be a problem here. The New York hills had run red with blood many a time during the civil war. Despite some very persistent bigots still proudly waving their loser flag like it wasn’t over, every fourth grader in the country could tell you who’d won without missing a beat. That meant there should be Confederate soldiers hiding under the earth by the bunch. Relatively close to the surface too, lucky for them.
Nico stopped them at a nice large clearing between the trees. One that by the looks of the trees around it, was nice and old. The perfect place for a battle. He turned to Logan and gestured at the field of grass.
“I’ll get one up. The whole ‘died losing in battle’ thing is a little specific. So, it might take a bit” he explained. He stuck out his hands and felt deeply. Not much there. Wait, a little deeper down. “Got some”. He looked at Logan. “Can you feel that?”.
Logan looked confused.
“Stick out your arms” Nico commanded.
Logan shrugged and did as he was told.
“Over to the right, maybe ten yards away, pretty deep down” Nico pointed out.
Logan pursed his lips. “Not a thing”.
Nico strained slightly to make a fallen soldier come up. It took a few seconds. It slowly burrowed itself out of the ground, it was still wearing some tattered remains of a wool jacket, by now no longer grey, of course. It raised its rusty bayonet.
“Sick” Logan said in awe.
Nico smiled faintly. “Alright, you see it now. Try to feel it”.
Logan gave him an unsure look. He exhaled and stuck out his hand again, almost reaching for it. He side-eyed Nico apologetically, about to lower his arm. Nico gestured for him to keep going. He did. And did again.
Logan’s outstretched arm was starting to tremble at the mere effort of keeping it up. Nico carefully slid his eyes over it, all the way back to Logan's clenched jaw. It clenched even tighter as he pursed his lips ever so slightly. His eyes smouldered, in full concentration. Logan didn’t even notice him.
It reminded him… Last time he'd seen this same expression on Logan's face was right above his own, fixing him back up.
Nico sighed quietly.
After watching Logan try his hardest and fail just as hard for what had to be aeons by now, Nico decided he couldn’t just watch anymore.
He grabbed Logan’s other hand, still by his side.
At that Logan’s concentration broke, looking at Nico in confusion.
“I’m going to try to lend you some of my power” Nico explained quickly, avoiding his eyes. Oops. Probably should have said that beforehand… He pushed down the embarrassment and pulled up the energy hiding much deeper instead. A small surge ran through his body, all the way up from his heart, down to his fingers.
Easy…?
He suppressed a shaky breath. What was wrong with him? He'd done so for Hazel countless times… This was nothing!
Logan’s fingers twitched. “Damn! Yeah! I think I feel it now”. He swallowed hard. “Is it supposed to feel like… Well, like that?”. His tone was wary, so was his grip.
Right, he'd gotten so used to it over the years he barely even felt it anymore. The cold. The dull pins and needles. Worst of all, the stiffness slowly spreading down over the body, an unsettling resemblance to rigor mortis setting in…
Nico smiled wryly. “Yeah, it’s not exactly comfortable…”. He looked Logan over, just to check. Anything to do with raising the dead was hard on the mind and body, and that was already an understatement for the children of Hades. He saw a small shiver go over him, but otherwise he looked fine. “You try to hold it up. Just picture it clearly”.
Logan nodded. Nico slowly let go of it, lowering his arm. Logan let out a laugh as it stayed upright. “That’s freaking heavy…”.
Yeah! But you’re doing it! Looking at him, Nico felt a proud smile spread on his face. Seeing as Logan was much too concentrated to notice, he let it.
Logan went pale, his arm trembling even more than before. He furrowed his brow. “Wait, there’s two more right? I think I feel them”.
The proud smile made way for a stern look. “Careful”.
Logan looked at him, clearly already tired. He seemed to consider his warning. Then shrugged it off… “Gotta at least try right?”. He added another arm.
“Don’t overdo it!” Nico warned louder. He hissed as he saw the two other soldiers dig their way out of their final resting place. They got to their feet and raised their broken muskets and bayonets. Shakily, but undeniably. Nico huffed. Wow…! Logan was actually doing it.
The undead faltered and collapsed.
Nope, guess not.
Nico felt a hand on his upper arm, as soon as he noticed, it slipped down. He turned just in time to see Logan’s head fall back, the rest of him about to do the same. Nico spun around. He caught Logan’s back with one arm, his waist with the other. No time to be relieved, the fun had only just started. The sudden weight pulling on his arms made him grunt. He had to dig his heels in not to fall on top of him. Throwing in most of his own weight in the opposite direction, he regained his balance. That finally gave him the chance to get a better hold.
“Told you” he grumbled, as he pulled Logan back upright as best as he could. Nico lowered him down. Well, he practically dropped Logan in his lap as he fell to his knees. With some awkward movements, Nico propped up one of his knees a bit to support Logan’s back, freeing an arm. He tilted Logan’s face towards himself to see if he was awake.
He was. Not fully, but at least enough to react.
Logan stirred in his arms. “Hm… Spooky…?” he mumbled.
“Yeah”. That's me, I guess… The corner of Nico’s mouth curled up a bit.
Logan slowly opened his eyes. His half hidden irises reminded Nico of two tiny sunsets. Two tiny dazed sunsets…
They stared at each other for a few seconds.
Logan seemed to be in good spirits despite everything, grinning weakly at him. “Well…” he laughed shakily “That was embarrassing”.
Nico raised an eyebrow. “What? No way! You looked manly as hell when you swooned right into my arms”. The sarcasm didn’t reach his smile.
Logan laughed harder. He lifted his arm and ran a hand over Nico's shoulder in an amicable, messy gesture. Nico tensed up a bit as he left it there.
“Thanks, man” Logan squeezed into his shoulder. He smiled brightly. As did his eyes, shining some more warm sunlight at Nico. They were a lot less dazed now, but clearly exhausted.
“You alright?” Nico tried.
“I will be. I've had worse…”. He pressed down on Nico’s shoulder and pulled himself up further. “But, before I literally fall asleep on you…”.
Ha. Yeah. That would be bad… Nico swallowed dryly.
Logan sat up, pulling himself out of Nico’s grasp and into a half hearted squat. “Fucking hell. Necromancy is really something…” he muttered. He turned his head and looked at Nico in awe. “I bet you can hold up a dozen or more”.
Nico felt some heat go to his face. “Yeah. I’ve had some practice over the years. And as a son of Hades, it is kind of my thing, you know?”.
Logan turned back and shook his head in amazement. Nico smiled behind him, then shifted and sat down next to him. Logan gave him a last glance before he rolled onto his back and let out a sigh. Nico listened to his breathing slow down into a steady, deep rhythm. Without thinking about it he took off his coat and dumped it on top of him. He watched the actual sun start to settle into the horizon.
His breath caught when Logan's hand grazed his. He felt two of his fingers lay just barely, but very noticeably, against Logan's. Nico almost moved his hand in reflex, then left it. No big deal. He didn't want to disturb him. Necromancy takes a lot out of you. Best to just let him sleep it off…
All of his focus went back to the sun. Funny how warm it still was, even now… He sat there for a while, letting his thoughts wander. They kept wandering in circles, back to his hand… Logan’s fingers had gotten some of their usual warmth back. That was good. He’d probably wake up soon… That was also good. Probably best if Nico got out of here soon, anyway…
Logan stirred, pulling his hand away. It took way too long for the memory of the warmth to leave Nico’s hand. He glared down at it, trying to force it to let it go.
Ha…?
The grass around it had wilted and died. When had he done that…?
He glanced over his shoulder. Logan was still sound asleep, his arm now next to his face. Nico leaned back on his elbow, looking closer.
Logan’s breathing was steady, calm. Most of the colour had returned to his face. He looked comfortable. Different from other times that came to mind. Logan hadn’t gotten to rest much in his sleep these past months it seemed…
Nico remembered the single tear. The flushed red hue from the poison. The bloody fingerprints. Nico’s hand- Wait…
His eyes widened as he stared at his own hand, somehow now on Logan’s cheek. When did I do that?!
Logan’s skin was surprisingly soft, and unsurprisingly warm against his fingertips. Holy fuck, he was being so incredibly inappropriate! He just wanted to wake him up, right? Right? He hoped so furiously. Nico took a sharp breath and finally set out to prove it, giving Logan a few hard taps on his cheek. With the added nerves, maybe a little harder than he’d wanted. Harder than Logan wanted, at least.
Nico quickly pulled away and sat up, before Logan’s hand could reach his. Logan pushed himself upright next to him with a disgruntled little sound. Nico watched him stretch before he opened his eyes.
“Sorry… Getting late…” Nico pushed out breathlessly as soon as Logan found him. He fought not to look away in shame. The warmth from the small sunsets looking back at him was reassuring.
“Yeah. Good call” Logan replied a little hoarsely. He looked down at his lap, at the crumpled leather of Nico’s coat. He grabbed it and held it up a little, then narrowed his eyes and grinned at Nico. “Did you-?” he started to ask, more than a little amused.
“You were cold!” Nico huffed in self defense. He crossed his arms and avoided the scathingly relishing look. His face burned bad enough already…
Logan dumped his coat in Nico’s lap and ran his hand through his hair. “Thanks. That’s really sweet”. There wasn’t even a small hint of mockery in his tone. It burned worse than any look could have.
Despite the undeniable embarrassment scorching his face, Nico couldn’t resist glancing back at him. Nor could he stop himself from returning a smile.
“Are you staying for dinner?” Logan asked, sending Nico into another mild panic.
“Uh…” Nico started, quickly getting to his feet. He pulled on his coat and turned away. “I should probably just-”.
He got cut off by a jab in the shoulder. “C’mon, man… Don’t make me beg…” Logan pleaded.
Nico turned around in surprise, only to be hit with a deadly displeased looking pout.
“Look, I’m not going to force you… But Gwen’s going to kill me if I just let you go like this…” Logan hammered in the last nail, sealing Nico’s coffin shut for good.
Nico pouted back. “Alright” he conceded.
Logan smiled wide and triumphant.
Nico forced out an extra long sigh to stop from grinning. “Thank you” he offered once he regained control.
Logan cocked his head in surprise, then huffed. “No dude. Thank you” he chuckled. “Thanks for coming all the way out here, putting all that effort in trying to teach me how to do this. I know how big of a hassle that is. I’m a really bad student. I’ve heard so many, many times”.
Nico gave him a feigned apologetic look. “Sorry to say, but your teachers sound kinda whiny…”. He added a shrug “Seriously, it wasn’t any trouble”.
Logan grinned warmly. “Well, still… Thanks, Spooky”.
The genuine fondness in his tone almost sent a shiver down Nico’s back. “Pf… ‘Spooky’… You're going to keep calling me that forever, aren't you?” he asked with feigned dread. Actually… maybe even with some well-hidden hope.
“Aw, c'mon! An interesting guy like you… There's no way this is the crappiest nickname you've had, right?” Logan bargained.
Nico pursed his lips, going over the entire arsenal of insulting names people had quietly muttered under their breath around him. ‘Creep’ was definitely the most popular. He glanced over, at Logan's visibly growing interest. Crap. His memories shifted direction, a little further back. “In the underworld they call me ‘Ghost king’... I kinda stole that title from king Minos”.
Logan gave him a look of not so mild disgust. “Ghost king…?” he said with oozing disdain. “That's the dorkiest thing I've ever heard”.
Nico physically recoiled. “Yeah, well, I didn't come up with that myself” he retorted, more flustered than annoyed.
Logan grinned at him “Spooky is a way cuter pet name” he teased.
Nico rolled his eyes and sighed.
“I’ll stop calling you that if you really want me to” Logan offered, his grin now just a sincere smile.
Shit… Did he really have to say it out loud? Nico sucked in his lips, then let them go to sigh even deeper. “No… it’s fine… but, just you. If this catches on, I'll never forgive you”.
Logan’s grin was probably the brightest he’d seen yet. “Ha! As if anyone else would ever have the balls to call you that. You’d make them shit their pants”.
Nico allowed the smugness to take over his face, casually pretending to inspect his nails. “Damn right. Of all my powers, that’s my favourite…”.
Logan nudged him with his shoulder. “Maybe you can teach me that one too”.
Nico snorted in disbelief. “No fucking way. As if I’d have anything to teach you about being terrifying!”.
They cracked up at the same time.
Gwen gasped in excitement when Logan let her know he’d managed to convince Nico to stay. As soon as Nico saw the table had already been set for four, he knew Logan hadn’t exaggerated the threat on his life had he failed...
Mark stuck up a thumb, otherwise keeping all his attention on the pots and pans making all sorts of disturbing noises in front of him.
“I made plenty…” Mark assured, only a mild hint of panic when one of the pots noises got significantly louder.
Gwen quickly stepped in, turning a few knobs.
Mark smiled at her in relief, then finally turned to face them. “Food’s done!” he declared proudly.
Nico noticed an almost empty box of pasta on the counter. He tried to stay positive, but couldn’t help picking up on the other warning signs. An open carton of heavy cream... The unmistakable smell of chicken… He prepared himself for an all-American meal, neatly tucking away the Italian flag fluttering angrily in the back of his mind.
Gwen looked regal sitting at the head of the table. She gazed over her small kingdom with a pleased little smile on her face. Like the kind and just queen she was, she got up and distributed the alms among them equally in royal portions.
“Thanks, Gwen” Nico offered in return. “Thanks, Mark” he quickly added.
Mark pointed his fork at him in acknowledgement, mouth already full.
Nico took a bite too, following his example.
Ha.
Nico swallowed. “That’s really good” he muttered appreciatively, thankfully catching the ‘actually’ in time.
Mark grinned smugly. “I know, right? Cindy loves it!” he bragged. “It’s the only thing I ever make!”.
Ah… Didn’t quite stick the landing on there, you dreamboat… Nico stopped himself from laughing, going for a firm nod instead.
Gwen grinned as she put her cutlery down on her now empty plate. She folded her hands above it and looked Nico and Logan over. “Sooo, how was playing outside? Did you boys have fun?”
“Right!” Mark chimed in, suddenly looking at Logan with excited interest. “Did you actually manage?! How was it?”
“Well… I caught up on some sleep” Logan joked.
Gwen closed in like a shark at a drop of blood. “Another bad night last night?” she sank her teeth in, immediately going in for the kill.
Logan ignored her. Gwen stared at him intently, trying to drag him under. Mark took his coffee and walked out into the hallway.
“Have you called back that guy from the university?” she asked, sinking her teeth even further.
“Not yet” Logan responded stoically.
“Are you going to?” Gwen asked, biting all the way through.
“Not yet!” Logan replied angrily.
Nico heard Mark's footsteps pick up pace on the stairs.
Blue fire clashed with orange fire as Gwen and Logan’s eyes met.
“You're such an idiot!” Gwen yelled as she slammed her fist on the table.
“And you're Goddamn lucky I am! If I weren't, I would never put up with this shit!” Logan yelled back, flipping her off as he walked towards the door.
“I'm doing you a favor!” she yelled even louder. “If you hate it here so much, move the fuck out already”. She slammed her fist on the table so hard Nico thought he heard it crack.
Logan smashed the door shut behind him. Gwen ran after him and threw the door open. “I didn't mean that! I'm sorry!” she yelled shakily.
Logan came back into view and hugged her. “I know” he muttered “I'm sorry too”.
She buried her face in his shoulder. “I don't want you to leave” she said, her voice a little muffled.
“I won't” Logan replied.
“You're not an idiot” she said, still muffled.
Logan smirked. “Yes, I am”.
Gwen turned her face to the side. “Yes… you are”. She pouted. “But you're a really smart idiot”.
Logan patted her on the head. “Thanks. And you're really nice for trying to take care of me. And for letting me stay here… even though I do pay rent”.
Gwen looked a little smug. She pulled back and crossed her arms as she looked at him. “Yes, I am really nice. So stop being so stubborn”.
Logan put up a fake apologetic smile. “Can't. It's our culture”.
Gwen giggled quietly. “Sure is…” she admitted. “I really hate that sometimes…”.
Logan's smile turned genuinely apologetic. “I'll call soon…” he sighed.
“Thank you…”. Gwen pulled him in by his neck and kissed his cheek.
Nico and Logan made eye contact as she did. Logan gave him an awkward look. Nico returned it, then smiled.
Exactly as Nico predicted, Logan had excused himself outside to go smoke a cigarette after the domestic blow up. Not exactly as predicted, Nico had gone outside too. He didn’t really have a choice. It would have been awkward to leave right after. It might have given Gwen the wrong idea. Not just her…
They were quiet for a while. It was a peaceful silence, comfortable even, Nico thought. Logan seemed to disagree. “Hey… I've got something to say to you” he said, turning to face Nico.
Ha…? Nico held his breath.
“Something I've been feeling for a while…” Logan built up, deep in thought.
What the fuck?! Where was this going all of a sudden? He seemed serious, dangerously serious. He wasn't going to-?!
“Huh?” Nico choked out. He felt the nerves wash over him like a wave.
“Don’t worry! I just want to apologize. That first mission. I'm really sorry for how I handled that. I was a massive jerk. I just want you to know, it wasn't anything personal. That was all on me”.
Oh. A flood of pure emotion flushed away all his thoughts. He felt every possible feeling at the same time. Relief finally washed the rest away. Well, not all of them. Guilt and shame still stood tall.
Logan had done it again, he stumped Nico with his stupid sincerity. He almost seemed to use it as a sneak attack. Pulling it out of his sleeve just when his enemy least expected it.
What Logan said was true, but Nico hadn't exactly been on his best behaviour either back then…. Should he apologize? That would probably make everything even more uncomfortable… He watched Logan put out his cigarette on the heel of his shoe, seemingly oblivious to the war he'd started in Nico's mind.
Logan shifted like he was about to leave.
“Why did it piss you off so much? That I was asked to join, I mean…” Nico asked suddenly.
Logan stopped and looked at him, his expression painful. “Two things actually….”.
Nico held his breath.
“The main thing was, Yan asked for me. I was hoping I could talk to her. One on one. To apologize for being such a shitty friend, mostly…”.
Nico exhaled.
Logan continued. “Besides that, I was scared shitless… I didn't want to go. Not really, at least. I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to keep my head screwed on. But... I figured since I trust Yan, it would be okay…”.
Nico pursed his lips. “But then I showed up…”.
Logan cocked his head a little, smiling apologetically. “Yeah … I know it’s a shit excuse, but back then I had no idea how stupidly overpowered you are…”. He jestfully jabbed Nico in the chest. “I couldn't even take care of myself, so having to look out for someone else… I just couldn't deal with it…”.
Nico thought back to the Manticore attack. He swallowed.
Logan put up his hands. “But, see? It had nothing to do with you. Not really, at least! It was all about me. Hella selfish, actually! I should have apologized way sooner, but it took me a while to sort out my feelings…” he explained softly, shaking his head in shame. “I shouldn't have taken all my shit out on you” he ended with a low voice.
It was kinda rough to see how hard this was on him...
Nico sighed. “It wasn't just you though. I didn't make it easy on you… I think we're just really different, and really similar in the worst way. You're hot, I'm cold. We both don't back down… There was no way we weren't going to clash at some point” Nico weighed in, trying to take some responsibility back from him.
“Did you just say I'm hot?”. Logan raised an eyebrow with a grin.
“Wh-?!”.
Nico stopped himself. He shoved his palms against his forehead and dragged his hands down his face. “I'm trying to actually talk to you here!” he gestured dramatically, almost jabbing his hands in Logan’s face.
“I know! I know… just trying to lighten the mood a little. You got so serious all of a sudden…” Logan defended himself.
“You started it! Besides, me saying you're hot would make this less awkward for you?...” Nico asked, very unamused.
“Guess I'm a little arrogant, so what?” Logan taunted.
Nico broke. “A little? Arrogant would be your whole personality if you didn't have, like, seven other fatal flaws…”. He felt pretty smug, until Logan flicked his cigarette butt at his face and it bounced off his forehead.
“Only seven? If I didn't know any better I'd think you're getting a soft spot for me”.
Nico thought about it. Honestly, despite their complicated dynamic, when it came down to it he had grown to respect Logan quite a bit. He had depended on him a lot more than he would ever admit.
Sure, in all his spartan charm he wasn't exactly easy to get along with sometimes, but he was brave, honest and he had conviction. In his own crude way he was even caring. “Well, you're reckless, blunt and stubborn, but I guess you try?” Nico teased.
Logan jabbed him on his arm. His annoyance turned to a grin. “That's only three, you are going soft on me”.
Nico clicked his tongue, but didn’t argue.
Logan’s expression softened just a bit. “I like to think that deep down, underneath my rogue personality, I’m a pretty good guy” he pondered out loud.
Nico snorted. “Are you serious? You're an aggressively good guy…” he complained loudly, earning himself another grin. He thought back to what he'd said. Logan was honest. Honest to a fault… “Do you think I’m a good person?” Nico asked suddenly. He held his breath, dreading the answer.
Logan seemed caught off guard. “What? Why the intensity all of a sudden?” he asked. He looked confused, maybe worried even.
“Just tell me” Nico pressed.
Logan seemed to think about it, scratching his neck. The silence was deafening. “Nah” he shrugged finally.
Nico exhaled. He knew it.
“You’re the best, man” Logan concluded, punching him in the arm a little too hard.
Nico should have figured. Logan was an expert at emotional warfare, after all. Nico stared at him in disbelief for a while. Then his face started to burn. He wanted to say something but suddenly he was choking back tears.
“Woah, are you crying?!” Logan asked through an awkward sounding laugh.
“I'm not! You're just such an idiot that it hurts my face sometimes…!”. Nico wiped at his eyes vigorously with the back of his hand, then quickly looked away.
Suddenly Logan pulled him in. Nico tried desperately to defend himself. It was no use. His hands and elbows folded uselessly against Logan's frustratingly strong build. He wished he could move his hands away from there…
Logan gave him a squeeze, patting him on the back. “Sorry, I shouldn't have messed with you” he said with a laugh.
The studs on Logan's coat were digging into Nico’s chest, his tight grip was squeezing all the air out of his lungs and he stank of cigarettes. Somehow it was exactly what Nico needed. He was so warm…
Enough. More than enough!
“Alright! Thanks! I’m fine!” he croaked.
As soon as Logan let go, he shoved himself off of him.
“I’d better… I’m gonna go” Nico stammered.
“Sure, man” Logan replied happily. “Thanks again!”.
Nico calmed down a little. “No problem. Say bye to Gwen for me”.
Logan smiled at him.
He smiled back. Then quickly pursed his lips. “... Bye” he threw over his shoulder as he stepped off the porch.
“See ya” Logan replied.
Nico walked towards the edge of the woods, towards the shadows. He looked around one last time before he stepped in.
He watched Logan bend down to pick up his cigarette butt and shove it in his pocket.
Ha…
Had he expected him to litter? Maybe? Guess not? But, still. This didn’t seem very rebellious. It was almost… sweet.
Nico smiled to himself. What? His smile turned to horror.
What was he thinking?! Today had been weird. He had been weird. Time to go. Somewhere far away from all of this. Further than last time. He needed to flee the country. No, the whole fucking continent… He strutted into the shadows, letting the whispers empty his mind. It was calming, a little addictive even. He let it go on a bit longer than he’d meant to.
He fell to his knees, into sand. He heard waves wash up and pull away gently. He looked over the horizon, taking in a red shinto shrine sticking proudly out of the water.
Right. Japan. Good. That was far enough. That should give him some space…
He took a deep breath, then dropped down onto his backside. Trying to collect his thoughts, he grasped the sand lightly with both hands. He stared off into the distance, right through the shrine.
Everything looked so warm in the glow of the deep orange sun gazing down at him from right above it…
Sand slowly ran through his fingers as he tightened his grip.
He got woken up well into the evening by the rising tide lapping at his feet, sand everywhere… Sand as far as his eyes could see, stretched out ahead of him endlessly.
He quickly pulled up his legs when another wave tickled him, turning his face to look up at the sky above him. Right into a rainbow, way too close by…