Chapter Text
Horus
The meal with Geb went surprisingly well, at least from Horus’ perspective. He’d been surprised when the older god had showed up, since Horus didn’t talk with his grandfather all that much. They met up every now and then, but Geb was a quiet man who still kept mostly to himself.
Horus wondered if that’s where Seth got it from, based on what Horus saw of Seth. If, before whatever Osiris did to him, Seth was just quiet, like he was now. But it would be impossible to know after thousands of years of being on the sun boat, surviving all that he’d gone through.
He still felt that Seth was acclimating well, especially when Geb left them seemingly pleased with the visit, and Seth acting calmer afterward. The supervisors at the dojo were pleased with Seth’s work, and Seth was ready to take on more. Horus still observed, usually in bird form, because he had to. But he could better appreciate Seth’s form than be wary of Seth’s actions, especially given Seth seemed to care for his pupils. The children loved him, and lit up whenever they were around him.
Of course the issue was Seth’s specific form. Every class he wore those damn shorts, which rucked up in particular ways around his ass… And the tank top was practically murder, showing expanses of Seth’s bare chest that Horus didn’t see as much these days, with modern clothing.
Horus spent too many evenings furiously jerking off in the shower or his bed, hoping the soundproofed walls protected him from Seth’s good hearing. He tried to focus more on his work, and to a degree, he succeeded. But then he’d have to watch the classes or would be sitting around when Seth walked past in the apartment.
It wasn’t Seth’s fault. It was Horus’ lack of control.
Horus had already lost one mug, which he’d dropped when Seth had been studying the microwave with some curiosity, and Seth had reached back to scratch himself just on the line of his waistband near his right hip while Horus was making tea.
Seth had been alarmed when Horus broke the mug, but Horus had said it happened sometimes: gods underestimating their power. Seth seemingly believed him and left the kitchen, leaving Horus to recover himself alone.
Horus reminded himself Seth was his… ward? Whatever he was. That Seth was working out his probation. That once Seth had proven himself, he’d be able to live on his own, and he’d likely never want to see Horus again. And that Horus wanted to get to know Seth as a person. And in a way, he was.
Seth wasn’t interested in museums, but he was slowly gaining a movie appreciation. He liked documentaries and mysteries, but couldn’t stand horror, comedy, or romance. He would ridicule action movies, pointing out the various issues with fighting techniques, and demand to know why so many action movies had so little action, and why most of it seemed to just be guns or car chases. The martial arts ones he respected a little more, but still criticized. Anything involving chariots looked too fake, and the actors had bad form.
He liked some fantasy and science fiction, but would regularly comment on this or that god he knew of who could do what was being shown in the fantasy movies, or critique the action and armor. As for the science fiction, he would ask why humans were so ridiculous, and he got irritated with a great deal of the human creations being satirized (“They have cameras everywhere? Disgusting.”) He enjoyed learning about space, though, and weather. Movies about tornadoes and dust storms fascinated him, even if they had issues, and he’d talk about the logistics of the storms, which was one of the rare occasions his eyes lit up in excitement.
He enjoyed reading, too, and read voraciously, far more than the movies and TV shows he was suggested. Horus got him a bookshelf, which Seth quickly filled up. And they even made one trip to a bookstore, where they stayed for most of the day while Seth explored. He got a library card on his own and spent the evening browsing.
Seth still disdained getting a proper wardrobe, other than what was necessary for his work and visits from family. And he liked sleeping, regardless of mood.
But there was another area Horus felt like finally talking about, if Seth was amenable.
“Is there a reason you’re not into food?” Horus asked one day as they watched a cooking show Seth had heard of, while Seth glared at the television like it had personally insulted him.
The show was Seth’s idea, not Horus’.
“We’re gods,” Seth said, angrily. “We don’t need to eat.”
“That’s true,” Horus said. “But it doesn’t usually make other gods angry to do it. Many even enjoy it.” Plenty of gods threw feasts and other celebrations these days, the more lavish the better. Even though Seth seemed very particular about a god’s dignity, those gods who didn’t align with his views weren’t precisely in the wrong, either.
Seth was quiet for a while before he reached out and muted the show. He was sitting cross-legged on the couch and gazed down at his feet. Eventually, he said, “Back when I was much younger… there was a problem with the army.”
Horus stayed quiet, waiting for Seth to share everything. He knew this was important.
“They starved,” Seth said. He sighed. “They were human, it was bound to happen. I wasn’t all that good with that kind of logistical issue, and war can be hard. And when they starved, and I couldn’t provide, well… they made do.”
Horus frowned, and when Seth stayed quiet, Horus asked, “How did they make do?”
“…The bodies of the fallen,” Seth said, quietly. “It was better when it was the enemy, but…” His expression was cold.
Horus’ eyes widened in horror. When Seth stayed silent, Horus said, “I know humans have resorted to cannibalism in difficult times, usually at sea, but… I didn’t know…” He’d never heard of this. Isis hadn’t told him.
Seth shrugged. “Isis eventually took over that side of things, and the problem went away. But sometimes… eating felt like eating a corpse.” He grimaced. “But on the sun boat, you really couldn’t avoid it. I needed all the energy I could get.”
“It couldn’t have been easy,” Horus said, thinking of forcing yourself to eat with such an association. He didn’t know if he could manage it, even after everything he and his mother did in exile.
Seth scoffed. “No. And Shesmu, who sometimes served as one of Ra’s cooks, didn’t make it easy. He usually just cooked for her, and if you were lucky, he might give you something nice, but he noticed I avoided even eating the basic rations we were given. He would… get angry. Saying that I was being wasteful. Picky.” Seth snorted in exasperation. “I ate just to make him go away.”
“He’s a fighter as well,” Horus said, knowing which god Seth was talking about, and his reputation. “Did he ever get physical?”
Seth shook his head. “Not in his threats, at least not directly. He’s a butcher, he enjoys the violence. But he always directed it at the enemy. Though he did seem to like showing off his work, and when things hadn’t settled between us, he’d look at me after a kill while he was still covered in blood… as if he was making a statement or something.” Seth seemed a little annoyed at this.
“I’m sorry,” Horus said.
Seth shrugged, like it was no big deal. “They all believed I was the worst anyway. That was hardly anything.” He gazed ahead for a while. “Plus, there was one time where he joked that I was a waste of good wine anyway… and I nearly killed him.” His red eyes practically glowed then. “Bastet had to pull me off of him.”
Horus’ fingers tightened. “What an asshole…” He didn’t imagine Shesmu knew what he was saying, but… he could only imagine how furious Seth would have been, with Shesmu hitting on old wounds.
Seth smirked. “Yeah…” His words sounded brittle.
Horus wanted to put his hand out, to embrace Seth. To hold him close and show him that not everyone meant to harm him. But he imagined it wouldn’t be welcome.
“Is there something you’d like to do?” Horus asked after a while. “Watch more TV or perhaps sleep?”
Seth scoffed and then muttered, “You’re one to talk. Do you get any work done?”
“Some,” Horus said, wondering if Seth was trying to just change topics. “But I don’t mind continuing my break. After all, I’m a king.” He smirked like he was trying to be funny.
Seth raised an eyebrow at him. “Isis will say I’m a bad influence.”
“She’s said that for centuries,” Horus said.
Seth chuckled.
Horus was happy to see him laughing. But after things quieted again, he asked, “Is this why you turned down the food kitchen?”
Seth breathed in deeply before replying, “Maybe. But I also don’t know how to prepare food. I’ve never had to learn. Or sought it out.”
Horus nodded and asked, “Would you like to learn? Maybe… that would help?”
Seth’s eyes widened in surprise. “What? Why?”
“If you know all the ingredients used,” Horus explained, “maybe that’ll desensitize you in a better way to what’s in the food. And maybe you’ll find things you like instead of things you can just bear.” It was a new form of distraction and integration. Every piece of it would improve his case to Isis and Maat, and show that Seth could better live in society. That his life wasn’t just war, studying to fight, and perhaps revenge.
Seth had a skeptical look on his face.
“Or I can just be warier of suggesting meals,” Horus said. “That’s not an issue.” He supposed he was lucky Seth hadn’t gotten visibly upset around Geb after Horus’ suggestion of dinner.
Seth snorted and shut the TV off before looking at Horus. “No, I understand. It made sense to have a meal with Geb. Things were a little less awkward than they might have been.”
Horus remembered the stilted conversation and wondered how bad it might have been. He’d still been a bit distracted recalling how Seth felt in his arms during the practice fight, so he supposed he was glad Seth hadn’t noticed.
“Do I sign up for classes, then?” Seth asked.
“I could teach you,” Horus said, making Seth give him another surprised look. “Depending on what it is. I’ve tried a lot over the centuries.”
Seth considered this for a while, and Horus wondered if he’d say not anyway. After all, Seth was still wary of—
“Okay,” Seth said.
Horus quickly realized he’d miscalculated.
They decided on a simple cookie recipe: brown butter caramel snickerdoodles. It seemed like something Seth might like, and it was a mix of simple and challenging. Seth stood by while Horus showed him where all the ingredients were – sometimes Isis came over to bake with him when she was stressed – and listened as Horus explained what the different items were for. They also walked through the recipe together, with Horus explaining along the way.
Seth seemed calm and focused, and he didn’t speak up much. He seemed to be earnestly trying to learn.
Horus thought it was kind of cute.
The real problem was that while Seth would stand back to allow Horus to move around, sometimes Horus would encourage Seth closer to look more at what Horus was doing, and their arms would brush. Or, like when Horus let Seth stir, again, they would briefly touch.
At one point as they worked, Seth made an intrigued noise and said, “That smells nice.” He had a truly surprised look on his face.
Horus wondered if he’d had a lot of moments like that. If someone like Shesmu had only tried the softer way to impress, maybe there could have been more.
But it also meant that Horus along could see this gentle surprise on Seth’s face, and he treasured that.
When the dough was mixed properly, Horus held up the blue spatula towards Seth and said, “You can try some if you’d like.”
Seth stared at the spatula in confusion. “But it’s not cooked yet.”
Horus shrugged and said, “We’re gods. It’s not dangerous. And it tastes good. But you don’t have to if you don’t want to.”
Seth frowned a little at that before he leaned forward to lick the spoon daintily, his pink tongue darting out quickly to the dough.
There was a cracking noise, making them both jerk in surprise and look down to see that where Horus had been resting his right hand against the countertop was now cracked from his fingers pressing into the marble.
“Apologies,” Horus said, embarrassed. His face burned. “I um… I was distracted.”
“Are you sure you’re up to cooking?” Seth asked, with a bit of humor in his voice.
“Yes!” Horus said, his voice sounding a bit high. “I’m fine!”
Seth had an unreadable look in his eyes, so Horus had them move on to rolling out cookies. Seth was pretty good at it.
“It seems ridiculous doing this,” Seth said as they worked, “that I’m… the way I am. It’s just food.” As if everything was so simple.
“You’re not ridiculous,” Horus insisted as they worked. “Trauma manifests in lots of ways. There are things Mother and I have issues with, even after all this time…” Horus wasn’t sure how to bring that up. He’d been to classes, he’d read things, trying to help his mother, help his own roiling emotions, his followers… but he was no expert.
“You sure you want to share them with an enemy?” Seth asked as he poked indents in the dough balls. “It could be dangerous.”
“You protected Egypt longer than you were ever my enemy,” Horus said. “And I don’t really think you were that, anyway. The world has also more than made up for those killed during your reign.” And he knew from Anubis that things were at least a little better in Duat to some degree, mostly due to Anubis’ work.
“But I tricked your father,” Seth said, quietly. “He killed himself for me.”
Horus paused in his work, thinking that over. Finally he said, “I know what my father’s done. And we aren’t on speaking terms. Haven’t been for a very long time.” They had nothing to speak about, and Horus had refused Osiris’ help with his petitions. He imagined Osiris maybe guessed some of Horus’ reasoning, but Horus also wasn’t sure his father was that bright, after everything he’d screwed up over the years: his kingdom, his family, and even his second throne in Duat. “You did your time, Seth. I don’t hold my father’s fate against you. He made his choice.”
Seth was quiet for a while before he finally said, “Nephthys mentioned how hard it’s been for you. With Hathor and the mirror.”
Horus wondered where this came from.
“Who do you talk to about that if you don’t talk to Nephthys?” Seth asked quietly. “Your mother?”
“No one, really,” Horus said. “We dealt with it.” It was an old issue.
“Ah,” Seth said. “Never mind.”
“No, no,” Horus said, realizing he sounded harsh. “I appreciate the interest. I just… It’s not something I really think about. I… dislike being reminded I was made to lose control. It made me worry Hathor or Sekhmet might have some control over me still, though it hasn’t happened since that night between you and I.”
“I see,” Seth said.
“I have regretted that night every day since,” Horus said.
“I assaulted you first,” Seth noted.
“But I took over,” Horus said. “I did worse.”
“That’s not how it works,” Seth muttered. “I was king, I knew at least some of the laws… You didn’t defeat me, anyway.”
“No,” Horus said, agreeing with him. He knew what Seth meant, and agreed. But after loving Seth for so long... “It just… what I did bothers me far more than anything else. I didn’t want things between us to be like that, and then it felt like I lost you forever afterward.” He realized what he was saying and quickly added, “Not that you were ever mine, I just…”
“You wanted more,” Seth said.
“I did,” Horus finished. “I do. But I wanted you to want it. And I won’t force that. We can add the caramel now.”
Together, they added the little rolled up dollops of caramel to the center of the cookies, before rolling them up.
“I’m making a mess of this,” Seth said with a laugh as he showed Horus one of his attempts, which did look a little squished.
“Just be gentle with it,” Horus said as he showed a demonstration. “Now you try.”
Seth mimicked what Horus did, but with a little too much force again.
Horus reached out and lightly touched Seth’s fingers, stilling them. “It’s okay to go slower. Don’t crush them.”
Seth nodded jerkily.
Horus realized he was standing behind Seth now, his chest nearly to Seth’s back. He let go of Seth’s fingers, and moved away a little, giving the older god room.
They kept working, with Seth figuring it out slowly. His mood seemed to improve as they rolled the balls in cinnamon sugar, which made him chuckle again.
Horus liked his laugh.
“I’m a mess,” Seth said as the last dough ball was placed on a cookie sheet. He raised his hands to Horus in amusement, showing off the dough and cinnamon sugar all over them.
Horus grinned. “You can wash it off in the sink or lick it off if you want.” He demonstrated with one of his own fingers.
Seth got a skeptical look on his face. “Really? Do you lick everything?”
“Depends on what it is,” Horus said with a grin.
Seth held out his right index finger, with a daring look in his eyes, mimicking Horus with the spatula from earlier.
Horus’ eyes widened in surprise. But when Seth didn’t move away, Horus leaned forward and moved his lips over Seth’s finger, laving it with his tongue.
Seth’s breath caught, but he didn’t step back or pull away.
Horus took a little longer than he might have licking Seth’s finger clean before backing off. His face was hot, but he kept his eyes on Seth, waiting for his reaction.
Seth seemed nervous, but he didn’t run. Instead he finally put his hands down and said, “I… think I should clean them in the sink…”
Horus shakily nodded, moving aside to let Seth do so. Horus followed suit before they put the cookie sheets in the oven and set the timer. They then got to work cleaning up what was left.
Horus could still feel Seth’s finger in his mouth, and so tried to focus on what he was doing. Though he didn’t know what they were doing. He wondered if Seth had really come around to things, somehow… If all of Seth’s comments during their time together had meant more than Horus realized…
Horus didn’t know if he should hope.
When everything was clean and put away that could be, and their hands were clean again, they stood in the kitchen, waiting for the cookies to finish.
Horus felt his heart race.
Seth breathed in deeply and turned to him. There was a determined look in his eye. “You really… really like me? Even after everything?”
“To be honest,” Horus said, “I’ve barely been able to contain myself around you since you’ve been here.” He glanced down at Seth’s shorts and then up again. “Those shorts have been killing me.”
Seth’s pale cheeks reddened. “You…”
“I’ve never stopped wanting to be with you,” Horus said. “You’re flawed, yes, and you’ve done horrible things. But you’ve more than made up for them. You’re a guardian god, thoughtful, smart, handsome, powerful… And I… forgave you for anything between us long ago.” He breathed in deeply before he said, “And if you could forgive me, though I don’t expect you to…” He didn’t know if he could ever have it, after what his father did. Another thing he could hate the older god for.
“Oh shut up,” Seth said before he walked forward and pulled Horus down into a kiss.
Horus blinked in surprise before shutting his eyes and wrapping his left arm around Seth’s back. His right hand went up to Seth’s left cheek.
Seth pressed up against him, and Horus felt he could have painted the outline of the man’s body.
Time seemed to stand still with them there.
The oven timer dinged.
Seth drew back, breathing hard. His lips were shiny, his eyes glassy.
Horus stared down at him, still wanting more. His body seemed to vibrate there.
“The cookies,” Seth said, quietly.
Horus wanted to let them all burn, but he pulled away to get them out of the oven and set the cookie sheets all on the counter. All the while he felt Seth behind him, watching.
They were lucky Horus didn’t spill anything in his haste.
When everything was done, Horus turned back to Seth and they gazed at each other for a while.
Seth finally stepped forward and grabbed Horus’ shirt, pulling him away from counter and back into a kiss against the far wall.