Chapter Text
Horus
As Horus and Seth walked back to the apartment from the visit with Anubis and Nephthys, Horus could tell Seth was closing himself off: his expression was cloudy and he stayed silent.
Horus supposed he should be happy Seth wasn’t visibly angry or making a scene, but he wasn’t sure the silence was a good sign, either.
“If you have questions,” Horus said as they waited at a crosswalk, “I’ll be happy to answer them.”
Seth made a noncommittal noise of acknowledgement but said nothing else.
Eventually, Horus asked, “Are you okay?” He knew it was a ridiculous question, after everything they’d listened to. But he couldn’t help but ask.
“I’m fine,” Seth said. And then he said nothing else on the walk back, leaving a frigidity in the air between them. He didn’t even look at Horus: he just gazed ahead in stony silence, his thoughts clearly elsewhere.
Horus’ own thoughts were in turmoil, reviewing what had happened, wondering if he should have stepped in more. But he also knew that he couldn’t change any of it now. Nor could he come up with the right thing to say that wouldn’t make Seth angry.
Back at the apartment, Seth immediately went to his room and shut the door.
Horus stared after him, still unsure what to do. He knew getting Seth a meeting with Anubis and Nephthys was a good idea. He knew Seth accepted things from them that he wouldn’t have from Horus. He hoped Seth didn’t only take away pain from meeting. But he knew Seth had been pained, at least a little.
Horus knew Nephthys would likely speak of the whole thing to Isis, and he wondered how Isis would take the whole event, though nothing bad had happened... She hadn’t contacted Horus yet, and Maat would have let him know if something was wrong, but…
Horus was uneasy. He’d grown into his role as king and his present role as a leader among the gods when needed. He handled prayers and disputes, watched over Egypt’s borders, and kept an eye on international politics where he could, which was an entire life’s work of its own. It meant he handled big and small problems on a regular basis. And yet here he was, failing to figure out this one.
Failing to help the person he cared about the most. Because that was one problem: he was still devoted to Seth. Still wanted the adoration he’d come to desire all those years ago. Having Seth in his own apartment, so close by, was driving Horus to ruin, and making his work difficult on its own.
But he knew Seth wanted Anubis. And perhaps Nephthys. Nut’s comfort. More than that, Horus didn’t know. Judging by the closed door, Seth certainly didn’t want to hear from Horus.
And Horus planned to respect that. Even if he would have done virtually anything Seth asked.
On the second day after the meeting with Anubis and Nephthys, Horus stood outside Seth’s room, rehearsing what he’d gone through in his head. He just had to knock and say, “Please, tell me what I can do for you.”
But even just gazing at the blank door was hard. Raising his hand to knock was worse.
He imagined Seth knew he was there and chose to say nothing about it. Or perhaps Seth was sleeping.
Horus finally went away without saying or doing anything, feeling like a coward. He knew that if Seth wanted help, he’d ask for it, and Horus’ presence would only be seen as invasive.
Seth had just been told that more of his life was a sham. He wouldn’t want comfort from his jailer.
Horus stayed in his office most of the time, doing work out of necessity and the knowledge he also needed something else to occupy himself. He’d been doing that for centuries, after all, in Seth’s absence. Trying to find things to occupy his mind when no one would fill the hole in his life where Seth belonged. He hadn’t exactly been successful at distracting himself, but he’d been good at his work.
Missing Seth seemed like a normal part of his life at this point. It made being around the older god all the stranger. His fantasies about their being together didn’t properly deal with the reality of Seth being absent from the rest of their world for thousands of years, and what impact that would have on him.
Or at least he thought he’d be dealing with more anger. Not this sort of shutting down. In some ways it reminded him of the trial, where Seth had gone silent in the face of certain confrontation, especially during their last match.
Horus worried it presaged an eruption to come later.
Horus also had messages from friends and acquaintances to look through, an increasing number related to rumors about Seth being released from the sun boat. Some asked for reassurances of Seth’s good behavior. Some offered congratulations for his success in his efforts. There was plenty of life outside of Seth, too: he had invitations to dinners, performances, more requests for help on various problems… There was plenty of news to catch up on, and status updates from the people who managed the properties he owned.
In his more foolish moments, he’d thought of traveling abroad with Seth, and exploring the world. He didn’t know if Seth wanted it: the older god didn’t seem to show any affection for Horus, and had already spent most of his life traveling around Egypt. But Horus had spent his youth moving from place to place with Isis. And he spent his kingship going wherever he was needed, not staying in one location.
Seth had also spent much of his life on the front lines before he became king. And traveling would give him a chance to see more of the world he’d missed out on.
Mother would never agree to it, Horus thought, dismally. And he imagined Maat would be against it, on principle, at least for the foreseeable future. But he thought that if Seth was aware of more of his options, if he knew that the world wasn’t just what he’d had to leave behind before his punishment, then maybe there was more to it than sadness and anger.
He tried to think back to what had worked on Seth in the past to pull him out of his spirals. Horus shouting hadn’t done anything. He wasn’t planning to attack the other god, either.
There was one person who’d been able to reach out to him, but Horus wasn’t sure calling Anubis over would be a good idea. Not when Anubis was possibly part of the problem.
Eventually, he looked back at his notes on Maat’s suggestions for Seth’s work going forward. He realized that perhaps they couldn’t travel far, but there were other excuses to leave the apartment that might help in little ways, and allow Seth to feel some confidence in his position.
“You’re comfortable letting me be around children?” Seth asked Horus as they sat in Horus’ living room together the next day.
Seth had come out of his room at last, looking weary and quiet, but sat with Horus to ask about some websites he’d come across. His questions were quiet and collected, and Horus gave him what answers he could, before he brought up the subject of Seth’s duties. One suggestion was helping to train lower income youth in martial arts after school.
“Just to supervise and teach,” Horus said as Seth glanced over the website Horus had pulled up. “Why? Would adult humans be any safer around you? They both are nothing before the power of a god, particularly you.”
Seth scoffed at that and said, “You know what I mean. Shouldn’t you make a show of protecting the weaker members of humanity?”
“When I was young,” Horus said, “you gave me hope to live. And these children have little to support them.” He scrolled down to photographs of the members of one of the dojos he’d been looking at. “They need programs like this to keep them busy, teach them life skills, and help make them strong as they grow up. As a guardian god, this is just the right thing for you to do.” It wasn’t being trapped on the sun boat, it didn’t involve direct interaction with Horus, Anubis, Nephthys, or any other gods, and it was a skill Seth had: teaching.
Seth grimaced. “When we first met, I’d murdered many children.”
“And are you planning more such murder sprees?” Horus asked in response. He hadn’t forgotten the sight of all those corpses. For all other immortals insisted he was a blind fool when it came to Seth, Horus was under no illusions about the danger Seth posed.
But he also knew that in the thousands of years since Seth was punished, he’d only ever attacked immortal monsters. And all the while he’d been living with Horus, he’d kept to himself, and the only animosity he’d shown to a human was brief bristling that caused no harm to anyone.
Seth scoffed, as if the idea was ridiculous.
“As I thought,” Horus said. “You are also not the only individual who could be a risk to these children. Surely that calls to something in you? The god who used to protect Egypt from invaders?”
Seth’s lips pressed together, and Horus had the sense he was getting somewhere.
“Teach them to help themselves,” Horus said. “Surely you can’t be averse to that? You taught Anubis once. You trained Egypt in the spear. You can do this.”
Seth still seemed skeptical, but eventually he nodded.
“We can wait a while,” Horus added after Seth was silent for a bit. “If you still need time…”
Seth sighed and said, “I might as well start and make something of myself. Moping is useless.” He sounded angry, but seemingly at himself.
“You’ve been through a lot,” Horus said.
“I’ve missed a lot,” Seth insisted, while keeping his eyes on the photographs, though Horus wasn’t sure he was really seeing them. “And the world’s moved on. That’s all. If you think I can do something here, then fine. I’ll give it a shot.” He finally looked at Horus with a narrow gaze. “But if Isis yells at you for this, it’s on you.”
Horus only smiled in return, making Seth’s frown deepen. And much as it clearly annoyed the other god, Horus didn’t think he could stop.
At least he’s talking, Horus thought. And not hiding away. Horus had hope in this.
Horus watched from the window in his bird form as Seth met his first class of students about a week later. The after-school class was at a quiet dojo, and ages ranged from 9 to 12, with a mix of genders. They were wary of a new teacher: these children often had new volunteer teachers who cycled through the free afternoon classes. And Seth’s red hair was a particular curiosity to them.
They’d already had a few meetings with the people who ran the facility, introducing themselves, and showing Seth’s admittedly faked credentials. Horus had summed up centuries of training humans in various weapons techniques and serving in the army with a more understandable military career over the past decade, with a focus on training new recruits, and some work as a physical education teacher. Seth was a fast learner and had watched a number of videos on how such things worked, and even read quickly through dozens of books on the matter. When the dojo owners had questions, Seth was readily able to answer them. And his clear familiarity with technique and student needs obviously impressed.
Horus imagined the teachers could see Seth’s charisma, too. When Seth was focused, he was deeply compelling.
Or at least, judging by comments the owners said, they were very short-staffed, and could use the help. The university students they typically used weren’t around all that much, and they didn’t have the funds to focus too much on free programs. They partnered with a community center for this weekly class, but everything was tight. Horus had found the program while browsing for things that were near the apartment, relatively small, and most in need. Plus, Horus had worked with the center before, and serves as a reference for Seth.
Seth had shadowed one class to observe their techniques. Now, one of the owners was watching Seth look after what might be Seth’s regular class, if he did well. Seth was thankfully not overly harsh with the students, but not timid, either. Once he was given full rein of the class, he managed to wrangle them into stretches, and then practicing the basics, starting with learning to fall.
Some of the children were confused with their first lesson, while the older ones knew it pretty well, and helped. There was even laughter, though Seth frowned in warning at times to keep them organized.
Seth didn’t look truly mad, and he never raised his voice or did anything forceful with his charges. Horus kept a sharp eye on him, and nothing ill came of it. The supervisor nearby had no comments either, and even sometimes had a soft smile on her face as she watched.
It all made Horus hopeful, especially since Seth hadn’t complained about the humans or their intricate work systems, and he came out of his room early, ready to leave. His focus on the task was commendable, and Horus thought it really had given him something positive to spend his energy on, rather than drowning in the feelings that made him self-isolate. It was also an excellent way to get him talking to more people and give him a sense of what gods had to do to blend in with mortals.
It wasn’t that Horus wasn’t aware of potential issues. But he also knew that keeping Seth stuck in the apartment didn’t stop him from hurting humans, either. He could cause a storm that would destroy the apartment building. He could break out the window and go on a rampage. If Seth really wanted to hurt humans, he could try to do so. And either there or here, Horus could still intervene to stop him. It didn’t mean it was right that Horus brought Seth straight to some of the most vulnerable humans out there, but Horus felt he was correct in his assumption that the situation was just what Seth needed: a reminder that he was meant to help those who needed him most.
Judging by the cool confidence Seth had, Horus thought it was working. When the class ended, Seth almost had a slight wistfulness in his expression as he walked over to Horus. But then his expression grew harder as he met Horus’ gaze. He looked at the supervisor, who pulled him aside for a talk about things. Horus heard some suggestions, but mostly compliments on Seth’s techniques with the children. When the woman was done, she released Seth and said, “We look forward to seeing you again!”
Seth walked out of the building and waited for Horus to join him in his humanoid form again – Horus shapeshifted in the dark of an alleyway – before asking, “So I passed?”
Horus smiled softly. “With flying colors. I think this suits you.”
Seth shrugged, as if it all meant nothing to him, even after all he did to get here.
Horus imagined even all this must have been nothing compared to commanding troops.
“We could try something else if you wish,” Horus suggested. “There are kitchens where you could help prepare food for the hungry, too.”
“…This is fine,” Seth said. “Is there something else we need to do or can we go back to your apartment?”
“We can head back,” Horus replied as they kept walking. “What did you think of your students?”
“They’re too small,” Seth said at one point. “Bigger than the humans I was used to in some ways, but they’re too thin.”
“Many of these children come from underprivileged families,” Horus explained. “Even in this world, where fewer people starve to death, hunger is common. Humans would rather hoard than share bounty.”
“So little changes,” Seth muttered. “Ra hoarded power to herself for so long. And Osiris…” Seth scoffed. “It makes sense the humans imitated them.”
“We strive for a better world every day,” Horus said, wondering about the comment concerning Osiris. It gave him hope that Seth was being more open, after everything. “But it can be hard.”
“A world that will one day be led by children like that,” Seth said, thoughtfully.
Horus smiled, glad Seth was seeing it. “They might do better than those who came before. Humans are capable of much, particularly if you give them more options.”
“And my teaching is an option?” Seth asked, clearly skeptical. “There are other teachers out there.”
“Too busy,” Horus said. “Trying to make money to keep roofs over their heads. Or they don’t have time for those who need it most. And none would be as skilled as you are, anyway.”
“I’m still surprised Maat approves of this,” Seth said. “Me, training children to be soldiers…”
“I don’t know that they’ll stick with it long enough for that,” Horus said. “School takes up a lot of their time. But it was a suggestion Maat made, of a sort, having you work with the underprivileged in Egypt. The humans still look fondly on the lessons of war they learned. And this does the least harm of your use of those skills. She knows going against your nature won’t work well.”
“And yet cooking is on the table as well,” Seth said, dryly.
“You haven’t done kitchen knifework,” Horus said. “There is a martial aspect to a great deal of food preparation.”
Seth looked skeptical again, but Horus took the conversation as a win. They were talking, things were less tense. And they chatted somewhat peacefully on the way back. It almost seemed like things were on the way to being better, and Horus was thinking over how to ask about Seth’s thoughts on Osiris.
But when they got to the apartment door, both of them were surprised to find someone waiting for them.
Horus wondered if he’d been too positive.
“Greetings Horus, Seth,” Nephthys said as she turned to smile at them. “I wanted to know if it was okay if I visited?”