Chapter Text
Ivan was so surprised he almost didn’t grab Till back. He could feel Till’s fingers in his hair. Till’s body heat. His racing breath. Till’s right arm pressing against Ivan’s side as he leaned forward. This, on top of Till’s words, was everything.
Ivan’s body finally caught up, and his arms wrapped around Till before pulling him down to the bed. Ivan ignored the buzz of pain in his side to focus on the soft sound Till made against his lips, which Ivan drank up. Till was leaning over him, almost fully, his body weight pressing onto Ivan’s. It hurt over Ivan’s injury, but it reminded Ivan this was real, not a dream.
Till pushed back against Ivan’s hold to separate their lips, gazing down at Ivan with slightly dazed green eyes. “You made a weird noise. Are you okay?” He frowned. “You look too pale, too.”
Ivan pulled Till down into another kiss, ignoring the surprised noise Till made. He could feel Till holding himself up a little, trying not to lean all his weight down, maybe. But he didn’t pull back. In fact, Ivan could feel more of Till’s body reacting to the kiss, judging by the growing hard-on pushing against Ivan’s left thigh.
When Ivan finally loosened his hands to let them break for air, Till leaned his head over Ivan’s shoulder, breathing hard. “Things haven’t been easy, I get that, but… I’ve liked you, too. For a long time. I just didn’t know how to say it.”
“I think you’ve made yourself clear,” Ivan said as he ran his hands through Till’s silver hair and kind of hoped Till kept talking. His right hand dragged down Till’s neck, fingering the collar that Till hadn’t taken off yet, partially covering the letters of Till’s name. He stroked the skin around it, marveling in how Till wasn’t running. How he just stayed there, letting Ivan do what he wanted.
Ivan didn’t know when it happened. They’d been close when they were little. Till had come with him, at least briefly, when they were escaping, after all. But Ivan never thought it went that far…
Till moved back for another kiss, surprising Ivan.
He’s so forward, Ivan thought happily. He wanted that liveliness in Till’s eyes, his body. Till felt things so powerfully, in ways Ivan couldn’t comprehend, like an ocean you could sink into without ever finding the bottom. And if Till liked Ivan back, Ivan wanted to drown in what it was like to be wanted in return.
He’d never thought Till would want him the same way.
Till tugged at Ivan’s clothes, yanking the awkwardly designed shirt up to bare Ivan’s chest. When he broke the kiss to pull back and look down, he paused, his eyes on the injury and the bandage. Careful fingers moved around the area without causing harm.
The light touch still sent goosebumps over Ivan’s skin. Hyuna was right: Ivan had nearly died. And he’d nearly missed out on all of this, and how awful that would have been…
Till moved his hand and pushed himself up a bit to better bring his legs on the bed and straddle Ivan. He lowered his head to kiss a trail down the middle of Ivan’s chest, making Ivan shut his eyes in pleasure. It didn’t help that Till was sitting pressed against Ivan’s dick, and every time he wiggled with his movements, it brushed Ivan’s cock and made him grunt in pleasure.
It felt like a dream, but Ivan didn’t want to get lost and miss any of it.
Till grinned and reached forward to open Ivan’s pants. The smile vanished in a frown as he muttered, “Fuck, these things are ridiculous. You’ve got almost as many zippers as I do.”
“Took an army to get me into it,” Ivan said with a grin, enjoying Till’s determination. His pants weren’t actually that complicated, but he could feel how shaky Till was. And Till’s hard-on was probably distracting him. Not that Ivan planned to make things easier. He was injured, after all. He wanted Till to spoil him while Till was open to the idea.
It was fun.
When Till did get the pants down, baring Ivan’s cock to the air, Till grinned, even as his face turned a bit red. “Well, I guess that’s a compliment.”
Ivan snorted, wondering how much clearer he could be that Till was the center of his universe. “Take your pants off.”
“Giving orders now?” Till asked with a raised eyebrow, meeting Ivan’s gaze.
“I can’t move very far,” Ivan explained, “And I want to hear your pretty voice when you’re bouncing on my dick, not choking on it.”
Till’s blush darkened beautifully. “You think pretty highly of yourself, huh?”
“You’re the one who undid my pants before I said anything,” Ivan said with a smirk. He’d felt those desperate fingers working. He knew what Till wanted for once.
Till snorted and sat up to undo his pants, giving Ivan perhaps an unintended show. Ivan appreciated it and set a hand on Till’s right knee. He had to remove it when Till moved forward so that he could lift his legs and kick his pants off, bringing their faces closer together. But when the garment was away, leaving Till’s lower half bared, he sat back up again, pushing forward to Ivan’s crotch. He studied Ivan’s dick for a minute and then put two fingers into his mouth, making noises as he sucked on them that made Ivan’s heart race. When he pulled the fingers out – glistening – and sat up, Ivan’s right hand clutched the bed sheet beneath him.
“You’ll probably need more than that,” Ivan said quietly as Till moved his hand behind himself. He’d had dreams about this kind of thing. They didn’t quite match reality and he wasn’t sure how to keep himself calm.
Green eyes moved back to Ivan as Till said, “You think this is my first time fingering myself?” There was a challenging light in his eyes.
Ivan’s eyebrows rose in surprise and he almost bit his lip. “It’s not?”
Till snorted and moved his arm more.
Ivan wished he could see what Till was doing. His heart was pounding.
“All the shit they pump me with,” Till said, “It kind of fucks with my saliva. Makes it thicker than it should be or something. I can breathe and sing fine, or else they’d stop. But it’s useful for certain things.” He shut his eyes briefly. “Nng…”
“If I’d known,” Ivan said, his voice dark and heavy, “I’d have snuck into your room more often.” He grinned when Till peeked at him. “Maybe I could have helped.” All the moments they’d stolen together over the years, even sometimes sharing a bed together, and he’d never known. Cuddling close, wishing for more.
But back then he’d just wished to stay. He’d only ever dreamed of this, in quiet moments where he needed a distraction.
“I’d have probably kicked you out,” Till said with a huff. “I was kind of embarrassed about it… Didn’t know what I thought of anything.”
“So what’d you think about when you did this in the past?” Ivan asked, curious. He didn’t really need to be the center of Till’s world for all of Till’s life. He was happy crashing into Till’s orbit somewhere along the line. But clearly Till had been hiding more than Ivan realized, and now that he knew, he wanted it all, especially when Till was offering.
Till looked up at the ceiling and said, “I dunno. Anything that got me off. Lot of random shit, mostly. I’ve seen enough stuff in private performances that I’ve got an imagination.”
Ivan remembered the last private performance he’d interrupted. “Oh.”
Till grinned down at him. “Sad I wasn’t thinking of you?”
Ivan grinned back. “You will after this, I think.” He wasn’t planning to let Till go any time soon, that was for sure.
Till snorted and pulled his hand back. “Probably.” He moved up and forward, and then took hold of Ivan’s hard cock. “Fuck, are you gonna make it before I even get you inside?”
“I can hold it just fine,” Ivan said, shaking a bit under Till’s delicate fingers. “I’ve had practice.”
Till twitched at that, but then moved his hips so he could press the head of Ivan’s cock into his hole.
It was tight, and Ivan breathed in hard. His toes stretched the deeper he pushed inside. The sight of Till leaning back, working down was just so much.
“Did you think of me like that sometimes?” Till asked, his breath tight, too, as he slowly worked himself up and down Ivan’s cock, making the small bed creak. “When you beat off?”
Ivan laughed shakily, hoping Hyuna wouldn’t be mad about the noise. “All the time.” Till felt so good around him. Warm and wet and just wonderful. “Though imagining really doesn’t compare.”
“Really?” Till asked as he increased his pace a little, moving up and down Ivan’s cock, trying to pull it deeper. “I always thought imagination was better.”
“Imagination isn’t you,” Ivan said before he grunted on a good thrust as his hips tried to go with Till’s movements. It all made his injury twinge, and he wondered, vaguely, if Hyuna would be mad at him for that, too. Or whoever dealt with his wounds.
Being injured didn’t compare with being inside Till. Feeling Till’s hot skin on his, hearing Till’s fast breaths. The way Till rested his hands on Ivan’s body for balance.
Till’s ass pressed against Ivan’s skin, letting Ivan in at the deepest he could go, and Till muttered, angrily, “Why do you just say shit like that? Fuck!” Then he pushed himself up and down, even faster, sending delicious waves of pleasure through Ivan’s body on each bounce. “You’re even worse when you’re not singing! Always have been!”
Ivan laughed as he clutched the bedspread with his fingers. He cracked open his eyes to watch Till’s frowning, focused, sweaty face as he worked.
Till’s sweaty silver hair was askew, and his green eyes were bright. He had his left hand pressing hard against Ivan’s right thigh, while Till’s right hand pumped his own cock. His lips worked around moans and grunts that just got louder as they went on. It made Ivan move his hips faster, pressing his cock in harder to punch his way through Till’s body, making Till shudder.
On one particularly powerful shove, where Till’s body smacked down on Ivan’s hard, Ivan gasped and said, “Well, you take my breath away no matter what you’re doing.”
Till made a startled noise, and then come spilled over Ivan’s chest, making his slick skin twitch a bit in surprise.
“You’re the worst,” Till added shakily. He slowed down as he came, but shortly got to work picking himself up and dropping back down again. “Just come already. Fuck.”
Ivan was right on the edge of it, with each movement Till made pushing him closer and closer. He gazed up through hooded eyes at Till, who looked so beautiful falling apart and still working for Ivan. Ivan wanted Till to be happy and rest, and Till looked so blissed out right now.
“Do it for me,” Till said with a grunt.
Ivan felt something twist in his stomach, followed by a wave of pleasure that made him arch his head a bit. His legs hopped a little on the bed as he came.
Till stopped moving too much, keeping Ivan inside him through it. His hands rested on the bed around Ivan’s chest, and his head was lowered over Ivan’s neck. He was breathing hard and shaking a little. His thighs shuddered.
Ivan was breathing hard, too, and felt vaguely achey. After his cock emptied itself out, he felt leeched of everything. He just wanted to pull Till down to himself and hold him close. But all he could do was reach out to grasp Till’s right wrist and tug him a bit.
Till looked up at him in surprise. His eyes were even more dazed. His sweaty bangs flopped over his eyes. Ivan wanted to tuck them aside.
“Lay down,” Ivan said, wearily. Near me, like we used to do.
Till glanced behind himself, then down at Ivan. He breathed in deeply before he maneuvered himself so that he could settle on Ivan’s right side, opposite the injury. Ivan’s dick popped out of his ass, letting come spill out on the sheets. Till tucked his face into Ivan’s neck and let his right arm rest over Ivan’s chest. He was squished against the wall, pressing their warm bodies together so closely that Ivan could feel Till’s heart race.
Ivan leaned his head over to press a kiss into Till’s hair.
It was just them in their mess. Ivan’s heart was still racing along with Till’s, wanting more, not sure how much was too much.
“We’ll figure out what to do after you heal, later,” Till said. His right hand rested over Ivan’s upper chest. “Mizi and Hyuna said we have options, and we have to talk about it, cause they all seem kind of complicated.” He breathed in deeply. “All I’ve ever known was music.”
Ivan could hear the fear in Till’s voice. It was a big world out there. One that could swallow them up again, particularly given neither of them were trained for much else. Despite Ivan’s doubts, he would do his best for Till. Always.
“But we’ll work out it out,” Till added. “Together.”
Ivan smiled, happy Till was back in fighting form, and being true to his promise. With Till at Ivan's side, he felt like he could do anything. “Yeah.” He rested his right arm over Till’s back and shut his eyes. “Together.”