Chapter Text
|-Wednesday morning. Tompkins Square Park, E 10th St, East Village, Manhattan, New York-|
Nerves are flaring again. I thought it would stop by now. But it hasn't. If anything, it's gotten worse. Whenever my mind has time, it wanders to Gold City. Her form. Her hair. Those light blue eyes. They way light gets captured in them. It's mesmerizing. Annyira elbűvölő... Órákra el tudok veszni a szemeimben... (So mesmerizing... I can get lost in those eyes for hours...)
A pigeon snaps me out of my trance. As I quickly look around, I spot Randy with Gold City by the Hari Krishna Tree, presumably talking about payments and logistics. Time to get this going, I guess. I make my approach, and Randy is teh first to see me. He simply nods his head as Gold City then spots me. A simple wave, but god damn... Koncentrálj, Kati. Fókusz. (Focus, Kati. Focus.) I reach them, and Randy is the first to speak to me.
"Ah, Kati. Good to see you again." His sounds happy to see me. But he also sounds... shaky.? No. Frazzled? I can't quite put my finger on it, but he sounds unsteady. Probably just got a bad's night sleep. Gold City, however...
"A pleasure to see you again." She says, her voice as silky as ever.
"I, uh... I can say the same." Keep your cool… Thankfully, my thoughts get interrupted by Randy starting with details about our first shoot together.
"We've got our first shoot in a few days. This Saturday to be exact. Managed to convince David Swirner to let us use one of the pieces in his 52 Walker gallery as a backdrop. STY, I think it's called. By Nicole Eisenman. He's prepping it for exhibition starting in October but he's letting us use it early."
"So then why are the three of us here?" I ask, wanting more details. He hasn’t given enough.
"Relax, Kati. Patience is a virtue. We're here today to discuss the cameras we want to use, the kind of shots we're looking for, and of course, payments afterwards."
David Swirner? Isn't he a contemporary artist? And he's willing to lease out one of his galleries for the shoot? Well this should be interesting. I wonder what the piece we're using looks like...
"He's actually letting us use one of his galleries? I didn't think he'd agree." Gold interjects, clearly just as surprised as I am.
"I didn't either, not at first at least. But I managed to break some ground and kept pushing. Within boundaries, of course. I'm not the type to strong arm people. Never good for long term partnerships. I like to avoid unnecessary complications. You've both come to know that very well, I hope."
That's the solid-stone foundation I was expecting to see. A big part of why Randy Jenkins has garnered so much respect is because he's so solid with his words. Utter confidence that comes off as natural and earned, not arrogant. He busted his ass across the Research Triangle and it shows. I still feel unworthy being in his presence.
"Camera: a Canon EOS R8. A good autofocus, very, very nice full frame sensor. 24.2MP full frame sensor if I'm not mistaken and some very impressive video recording. Quality is rated at 4K resolution. One more thing: I was thinking a fisheye shot with one of the mannequins." He goes on, but now I’m confused.
"Fisheye? Excuse me?” My interjection seems to take Randy by surprise.
"Problem?" He asks, clearly perturbed.
"Uh... no. I'll see what I can do but fisheyes aren't exactly used in modeling. More-so for action shots, music videos, large mural projections and flight simulators."
"And that is exactly why we wanted to use the fisheye lens. Out of the box thinking." Randy now turns to Gold City as she interjects, seemingly affirming the idea.
"Very much, yes. And you...” He points his finger at me in a way that suggests I'm capable of more than I know.
"Are quite the connoisseur with a camera. I don't doubt that you'll get the shots we want. Close ups and mid-range. Nothing too special." One one thing left.
"And that leaves..." I start but quickly get cut off.
"Payment. Gold gets 65% of the cut. I get 10%. That leaves you with..."
"25%."
A twenty-five percent cut? Now that's the kind of money I can get behind. Provided we're making a lot of it. But something tells me that money won't be an issue for this next year. Randy then starts talking more privately with Gold City, and once again my mind is off to the races. The way the light gets reflected off her hair... How that blazer accentuates her form, not take away from it... Istenem, annyira szánalmas vagyok... Annyira szánalmas... (God I'm so pathetic... So very pathetic...) I can only imagine how this looks. Especially from someone like Gold City. Actually no, I don't want to imagine that. I'd probably come off like a creep or something. Best not to think about it. But her skin... It looks so soft... Az istenit. (God dammit.)
|-Wednesday evening. The Watermark, Pier 15, 78 South St Pier 15-|
The salt in the air can’t be all that good for my hair. My tail especially. It’s quite sensitive… I sigh, not sure what to think, really. I still don't know how to process this feeling. And I'm still no closer to understanding why it's so familiar. So here I am at a cocktail bar, trying to make sense of it all. Not just this feeling but everything else. The city is so vibrant. So... alive. Even during the night. I've often heard New York be called the "City that Never Sleeps" and with all the activity that occurs here... I can say those people were right. It's electrifying and infectious. One can't help but join in. Far more lively than Tokyo. Makes me wonder what times like Halloween are like in a place like New York. It has to be intense. I know the... festivities back home are. I look down at the menu in front of me. Should I? I'm not particularly fond of alcohol, but I'm willing to make exceptions every now and then. This feels like one of those times. A waiter comes by, seeing that I may or may not be interested.
"Anything we can get you tonight?" He asks as I examine the menu. The cocktails don't exactly interest me, but these sparklings might be to my fancy.
"Yes, actually. The Val D’Oca Prosecco if you have it." I say, having made my mind up.
"We very much do. I'll need to see some ID and it'll be out shortly.”
I grab my wallet from my purse and hand him my ID. He checks it and then heads off. Within a few minutes, my drink is in front of me. I take a sip... and it isn't bad. It's quite refreshing, actually. But I want to pace myself. Inebriation is... not a good look for anyone. No matter what they might say. Something that's best avoided. As I sit and occasionally sip from my drink, my mind wanders to those odd feelings. What is it about Kati that brings them up? And why? Does... Does she feel something similar? Something tells me she might. It's visible, but she does make an effort to make it subtle. The way her voice trembles whenever she talks to me. And only me. She had no issues with Randy. Neither today or when I first met her last Friday. She also seems to start shaking. It's subtle, but it's there. I have seen it occasionally. She starts sweating more than she really should. It makes me concerned. But not in the way most would think. I've been nothing but kind and courteous with her. Maybe that's what's causing this kind of reaction from her. Kindness that she's not used to in any kind of relationship. But at the same time, it can't be that. Kati comes off as a very well adjusted adult. So what is the reason? I don't want to make assumptions about her sexuality, but... Kati having more sapphic tendencies would be the only way to explain it. I feel guilty even making that thought, but then again... It does still make sense. And maybe... Maybe this ends up being a two-way street. Maybe I have more to learn about myself than I realize. Only time will tell. And we have a year together. So there's no better time like the present.
I finish the rest of my drink and begin to head home. Well... "home". This is only a year long stay, and time will slip away from you if you're not careful. Five years... It's really been five years since the diagnosis. Since my dreams on the track ended. I still think about it. Often. What could have been if colic hadn't brought me to my lowest. But now isn't the time to dwell on that. No time is really the time to dwell on that kind of thing. That was then. This is now. Again my mind drifts towards Kati. Her rich, brown hair. Those dark eyes that I could get lost in for hours. Is that the kind of thing that goes through her mind when she sees me? It has to be. But what if it isn't the only thing? I do still feel like she is the only one to actually see me. The real me. Not the facade. Not the Gold City that people see on these magazine covers and photographs. But the person. The uma. Even if I don't ever return whatever it is she feels, something like that will always mean something to me. I want to keep her close, even when this contract comes to a close.