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They had no idea what they were doing. Sure, Skyfire read textbooks. Thundercracker had written plenty of stories, and he'd helped edit a lot of them, even if at times the flowery descriptions of seemingly impossible amounts of transfluid somehow directly entering a mech's gestation chamber made his optics glaze over. But it was worth it to see Thundercracker smile, awkwardly fumbling with the datapad he brought over. Skyfire would do anything for him.
Case in point: Thundercracker's hands ran down his chestplates. The Seeker rose to the tips of his pedes and planted a kiss on Skyfire's lips. Skyfire returned it, tongue colliding awkwardly with his.
Skyfire hadn't ever had a relationship before, especially not one like this. Not with anyone at the academy, and not during basic classes before it. His studies left little time for things like this, not that he thought much about them until he met Thundercracker.
The kiss ended. Thundercracker pulled away, optics meeting Skyfire's. They shone with love, warmth wrapping around them both. Skyfire's fans kicked on, a wave of embarrassment quickly following. They only just started and his fans were already on.
Thundercracker pulled him in for another kiss, and his shame was quickly swallowed.
Skyfire was never really affectionate to begin with. He was big and strong, but also delicate. The thought of hurting another mech made him tremble. It was too easy to let himself slip, so he didn't try.
But there was another thing keeping him from it. His frame wasn't always so large. Part of the reason his plating was so delicate was that it wasn't part of his original frame. Between semesters at the academy, he'd used up any spare shanix he could on modifications. Starscream had pitched in when a particular procedure was outside of his budget.
Some extra paneling here, a small removal there—it all added up. Soon, he only vaguely resembled the mech he used to be. He could finally look at his reflection.
He… hadn't told Thundercracker. But Thundercracker loved him for who he was now, so surely it would be fine. The wandering hands on his waist brought him back to what was in front of his optics.
They slid lower, and Skyfire retracted his codpiece. Just before the reached the newly exposed area, they retreated. Skyfire looked up. Thundercracker stared down, his optics fixed on the area where Skyfire's codpiece once was.
Skyfire's plating grew tight, his fans slowing. Did Thundercracker not…
Thundercracker rose back to the tips of his pedes, kissing Skyfire's cheek. His lips brushed against Skyfire's audial, his own fans kicking on.
"I love every part of you," Thundercracker whispered. "You know that, don't you?"
Relief flooded Skyfire so strongly he could cry. His knees almost buckled, something in his processor wanting to melt into Thundercracker despite knowing the mech would struggle to support his weight.
"Thank you," Skyfire whispered back.
Thundercracker went flat on his pedes, helm no longer at audial level. But he remained wrapped around Skyfire even as his hand wandered back down. His finger brushed against the lip of Skyfire's node, and Skyfire fought a shudder.
"You're so handsome," Thundercracker said, inserting a finger as Skyfire gasped. "My amazing, handsome mech…"
The words flooded Skyfire's processor, mixing with the sensations from his node. Handsome, he was handsome. He was Thundercracker's mech. Skyfire wanted him to say it again, but his request was swallowed by a quiet moan as Thundercracker inserted another finger, playing with his folds.
Skyfire leaned down, kissing him again. It felt… good. Strange, slightly overwhelming, but good. It was nothing like anything he had experienced before. Thundercracker's hand retreated, exposing Skyfire's node to the cold air.
Skyfire scrunched his olfactory ridge, pulling away. "Why did you—"
The sound of a panel retracting cut him off. A small splatter of prefluid followed it, no longer held at bay by the panel that contained it. Thundercracker looked away, wings falling. Embarrassment buzzed through the air.
"Sorry," he muttered. "I just… can I… spike you?"
It was relieving to know he wasn't the only one who was overeager.
"Yeah," Skyfire said.
Thundercracker perked up, closing the distance between their hips. His spike rubbed against Skyfire's node. Skyfire shifted, grinding against it. Thundercracker pulled him closer. They continued to frot, Thundercracker bringing his spike closer and closer to the lips of Skyfire's valve.
Something was building up inside of Skyfire. He embraced it. Based on the volume of Thundercracker's fans, he felt it too. Skyfire wrapped his arms around Thundercracker as Thundercracker grabbed his hips, quiet moans escaping them both.
Then, suddenly, it all spilled over. The energy disappeared, all enjoyment running away with it. Skyfire gasped—not in pleasure, but in pain. Cramps spread across his abdomen, only increasing in intensity with each passing moment, and he let out a squeak.
"Fire?" Thundercracker said quietly.
"I—" Skyfire's vision grew fuzzy at the edges. He released Thundercracker to place a hand on his abdomen.
Thundercracker pulled away. "Fire, what's wrong?"
Skyfire closed his optics.
"It hurts," he said.
This was supposed to be special, and he ruined it. Why? Why why why? The cramps got stronger. Skyfire sank to the floor, curling into himself.
"Hey…" Thundercracker said, crouching down. His wings twitched, the air buzzing with nervous energy. "It's okay."
Skyfire knew that. He had encountered all sorts of things when reading textbooks. Pain after overloads was one of those things. But he hadn't expected it to happen to him!
Okay, so maybe he'd gotten a little sore after self-servicing sometimes, even when he didn't insert anything. Maybe sometimes he had to stop midway through because it started to be more pain than pleasure, but… oh. He probably should've seen that coming.
"I—" Skyfire hid his face in one of his hands, the other still on his abdomen. "I'm sorry. I wanted this to be good. I wasn't trying to…"
Thundercracker's hand rested on his shoulder as Thundercracker lowered himself to sit next to him. Gently, he pried Skyfire's hand from his face, taking it in his own. He needed both of his hands just to hold it.
"I meant what I said earlier," Thundercracker said. "I love every part of you."
"But you didn't even get to spike me," Skyfire muttered.
Thundercracker flicked his wings and shrugged. "I would've liked to, but… it can wait."
"What if it still—"
"That's fine, too," Thundercracker said. He laid his helm on Skyfire's shoulder. "I love you for you. No other mech's spark resonates as beautifully as yours."
Despite Thundercracker's reassurances, guilt still burned in Skyfire's throat, and frag it all, didn't that just make it worse?
Skyfire rested his helm against Thundercracker's. "I love you."
"Love you too, Fire."
They stayed like that for a few moments. The cramps lessened briefly, only for then to return as a sharper pain joined them on one side. Skyfire shifted, shoving his hand into the affected spot with a quiet hiss.
Thundercracker hummed. Then, he nudged Skyfire's side and stood up, offering him a hand.
"Do you want to sit on the couch?" He asked.
Skyfire nodded, taking the hand. They sat on the couch together, Skyfire immediately resuming his curled up position. Thundercracker leaned over the armrest with a quiet grunt, reaching for something. He held it out to Skyfire.
"I got a new movie," he said. "Want to watch it?"
Skyfire nodded. Thundercracker loaded it into the player. After it came on, he sat back down, leaning against Skyfire. The pain started to fade a little bit, the intense cramping on one side finally subsiding. Still, it wasn't gone. Skyfire shifted, massaging his belly.
"Do you need any painkillers?" Thundercracker asked, his optics falling to where Skyfire's hand rested.
Skyfire shook his head. "It'll go away eventually. But maybe next time…"
"Yeah," Thundercracker said with a chuckle. "Maybe next time, now that we know."
Skyfire wilted. "I kind of already did…"
Thundercracker started at him. Skyfire's plating grew tight, which didn't help the cramps that had now decided to surface again. He flinched.
"I'd felt it before, just… not this bad," Skyfire said. "I thought I was just doing it wrong."
Thundercracker didn't move.
"Okay," he said.
"I—"
Thundercracker reached up, pulling Skyfire into an embrace. He nuzzled his shoulder.
"It's okay," Thundercracker said. "I mean it. We're still figuring this out. And to be honest with you, I haven't ever actually…"
He trailed off, his grip slackening.
"I haven't, either," Skyfire said.
Thundercracker sagged. "Oh, thank Primus."
"What?"
"I was so scared that you'd already know what you were doing," Thundercracker said. "You do all of that science stuff. You're so smart. I'm just some awkward ex-Decepticon loser that writes erotica. Someone had to have had a piece of you at some point, maybe Starscream—"
Skyfire scrunched his olfactory ridge. "Starscream?"
"Yeah," Thundercracker said.
Skyfire shook his head and laughed. Starscream, of all mecha? They were close before his time spent in stasis, but not that kind of close. Besides, Starscream wasn't a romantic mech. He'd spent quite a lot of time complaining about it to Skyfire while they worked on classwork, actually—how everyone expected him to take a conjunx when he had no desire to and had never felt anything even resembling romantic affection for another mech.
They had a name for that on Earth. But the humans came up with it, so Starscream would likely never know that. They had a name for what Skyfire was, too. Humans loved categorizing things almost as much as Cybertronians did.
"No," Skyfire said. "He's not that type of mech."
Thundercracker hummed. "I should've figured."
The moment dragged on. The movie played, but neither truly paid any attention. Thundercracker shuffled, leaning against Skyfire's chest.
"Are you feeling any better?" He asked.
Skyfire massaged his abdomen again. It hurt less now, mostly just a dull ache. The area was almost… tender. He wasn't sure how to describe it.
"A bit," he said.
Thundercracker leaned his helm on his shoulder.
"Good. I love you, Fire. All of you."