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“Would you like to hold him?”
Mafuyu stared at Kanade. Kanade was cradling their newborn son, Saito. There were bags under her eyes, but she was looking at Mafuyu curiously. However, Mafuyu did not notice. Her gaze was fixed on their wriggling baby.
As she stared, Mafuyu found that she could barely breathe. Her heart beat hard in her chest, threatening to make it collapse from the inside.
She felt cold.
It had been years since Mafuyu realized that her mother had been controlling and not actually looking out for her. A lot had happened and, though they still talked from time to time, Mafuyu had moved on to a life free from her mother’s grasp.
But, looking at her son, Mafuyu couldn’t help but worry.
What if she messed up? What if she turned out to be a bad parent like her mother was? What then? She couldn’t bear the thought of hurting the tiny, pink baby resting peacefully in Kanade’s arms.
“I-I don’t know,” Mafuyu stuttered in reply. “I don’t know if I can.” She was a bit pale in the face. Kanade, however, shone a sweet smile on her.
“It’s okay. Take your time,” she said softly. Mafuyu was glad that Kanade was always patient with her, never forcing her to do things she didn’t want to. She made it seem easy.
Maybe it was easy. Maybe that’s all Mafuyu had to do for their son, aside from being there.
She took a deep breath, then expectantly outstretched her arms.
“Okay, I think I’m ready now,” Mafuyu spoke up firmly. Kanade chuckled, the area around her eyes creasing with joy.
“Here you go, then,” she hummed, moving Saito toward Mafuyu. Kanade slowly lowered him into her grasp, then gently tugged around Mafuyu’s arms so that she was carrying him while giving him full support.
Saito was very warm against Mafuyu’s chest, against her heart.
“Hello, Saito,” Mafuyu whispered in awe. Saito looked up at her with his tiny eyes. They almost seemed to sparkle.
In that moment, Mafuyu found resolve. She would be better than her mother, she just knew it. All it would take was a little courage to let Saito into her heart, and now, holding him, she knew she’d be able to do that just fine.