fanfiction.lol^{fun, silly, low-stakes fandom}

Chapter Text

Okay, so getting milked at Cynthia Utrum's lab (aka TCRI) wasn't cool, although fighting Superfly when he became a knock-off Godzilla was somewhat cool. But hey, at least Superfly destroyed the TCRI building? Nothing can really be continued by her now.

But also now Donnie really couldn't describe how his chest would twist and stomach would get that gross need to push his most recent meal back up whenever he even heard the word "milk" now. All of his brothers seemed just fine now, and it drove the dude insane. Like, shouldn't Mikey out of all of them be the most traumatized since HE got milked first? Who knows at this point? Mikey was in a different universe half of the time.

 

But the one thing that came from the whole experience that Donnie really couldn't wrap his head around was how when he went back to the TCRI building after the whole Superfly thing to really just tell himself it's all over, he found equipment and weapons (mainly destroyed but hey, some managed to survive..somehow..) that he really just wanted to figure out. Although, when Donnie found himself digging through the rubble for more there were so many viles of ooze.

 

Of course, there was the infamous blue ooze all over. The "retro mutagen" and the reason they even managed to defeat Superfly. Donnie had to step around a lot of broken glass and puddles spilt all over. The last thing Donnie wanted was to become a normal boring turtle.

 

Now, all Donnie knew was that there were two forms of mutagen, one being the mutagen that caused well.. all of this, but now, while he was digging through the rubble of the destroyed building, he found a vile that had red ooze (well Donnie will be assuming it's ooze until further notice). There was only one test tube with the red ooze that didn't break. Without really thinking Donnie just picked it up and put it into his fanny pack and slowly made his way out of the rubble.

 

Don't judge the poor dude, he's running off of pure adrenaline.

 

Okay, maybe he's got enough confirmation it's probably not over now. A new form of ooze? Yeah Donnie can leave labeling this not-very-announced visit a pretty bad one. He just couldn't describe why or how.

 

Like, this ooze could be the cure to cancer or something and Donnie doesn't trust it. Okay let's think logically, TCRI probably isn't curing cancer anytime soon. BUT WHO KNOWS! It could be just as dangerous as the green ooze that they got practically tortured over cause Cynthia Utrum wanted it.

 

Okay wait, here comes that gross feeling again. Donnie slowed his walking down and stood for a bit, slowly breathing in and out. His body fell forward as stomach acid and his breakfast this morning of half a granola bar and water made its way out of his throat as he remembered the feeling of the electric shocks throughout his body. He gagged and coughed as his throat burned like he swallowed a ton of pop rocks. Donnie's body trembled as he spat out the last bits of saliva that didn't leave with the rest of his insides. Gasping for air, his breathing slowly became less ragged.

 

"Holy shit." He whispered, wiping his mouth with his hoodie sleeve as his walking fumbled for a second, stepping around his vomit as best as he could. His vision felt blurry as his eyes burnt, tears prickling. That burning sensation in his throat had begun to fade, causing a shaky breath to escape. "Oh my god." He leaned his head back, rubbing his throat before making his way towards the closest sewer manhole. If Donnie wanted to do ANYTHING right now it was to lay down.

 

His grip on the tunnel lid was weak, nearly dropping it onto his fingers as his hands slipped lifting it up. A slow, annoyed sigh escaped as he slid his body into the sewer and walked slowly down them, following the quickest route so he could get to bed quicker. Hell, he practically didn't even acknowledge Mikey's presence further than a "hello" and how Leos bed had made that annoying squeak sound it does when someone sits on it as he unbuckled his fanny pack and laid it down next to his tent before crawling inside and letting his eyes shut. That vile could be tomorrows issue.

 

…Okay actually, who would it hurt if Donnie stayed up late?? His sleep schedule? That shit is already fucked up so he'll live.

..hopefully.

 

After some fumbling around for his glasses and the zipper to his fanny pack Donnie immediately regretted his decision when he realized how bright the ooze was because of fucking course it is. His eyes slowly drifted to his older brother whose body turned being associated with a long sigh. "PLEASE don't wake up." He whispered, slowly making his way out of the room. That was genuinely the last thing the guy needed, Leo waking up and giving him a speech about stealing or how dangerous this is.

 

OBVIOUSLY it's dangerous! That's why he'll do it in the bathroom away from his brothers. He'll be fine. At least, that's what he kept saying to himself. Especially when he looked into the mirror with a large crack in the middle of it, something Raph oh so lovingly left there and blamed on Leo. Like, seriously man, if you're gonna lie at least be believable! Leo was (usually) the most passive guy ever. "God what an idiot." Donnie mumbled before looking down at his hand— he needs to focus.

 

Wait.

 

How is he meant to figure this out? He has no actual science supplies, just this vile. Obviously he can't like.. drink it. Can he drink it? Should he drink it? Why was he genuinely pondering on this? He shouldn't because like.. what if he explodes?? Raph would find that cool, honestly.

 

After a while of just staring at the ooze, Donnie sighed and walked back to his room. "That was a bust." He mumbled, fumbling through the darkness in hopes to not wake his brothers up. A sleepy mumble from Leo made him pause though, staring at him trying to determine if he was still sleeping or trying to form a coherent sentence right after waking up.

 

Donnie took the first option of the two and tried as hard as possible to get to his tent without tripping or waking anyone up. With how light of a sleeper Leo was Donnie genuinely didn't take his eyes off of him. Especially since he had some weird older brother sense and would wake up at the WORST moments.

 

Donnie began getting too into his head, praising himself for not putting himself in danger or waking his brother, which isn't something he'd get an award over but hey, he can be proud of that, okay??? Although, while Donnie got caught in his "I'm so awesome" thoughts, his IDIOT SELFstumbled and in an attempt to steady himself on one of the exposed pipes dropped the vile with a loud shatter sound.

 

He winced since it echoed so loudly Leo hit his head on the pipe Donnie caught himself on when sitting up and yelped, causing a reaction of his brothers waking up.

 

Donnie wanted to die so badly. How can he explain this? How SHOULD he explain this? "Donnie?" Leo stumbled over, navigating his way around the glass shards. "Whhhaaatttt happened?" Leo's words were as calm as he could force, but looking up at his older brother's face Donnie just knew it wasn't real. Leo had made a face that expressed the exact amount of confusion that any older brother who found their younger brother surrounded by glass and red liquid would make.

 

Nervously, Donnie glanced down at his foot which had a few drops of ooze on it. That's.. probably not good. "So what happened was.. Istolefromthetcribuildingandthenbrokethethingistolebutisweariwasgonnagiveitback" Donnie's rushed speaking did nothing more than confuse Leo more.

 

"You did WHAT?" Leo's voice squeaked, looking at the other two brothers like they could translate whatever just got said. "It's obvious what he said," Mikey started, turning to look at his brothers, "he said hubusuushubushuhbuh." Mikey's random noises mocking Donnie made Leo nothing more than annoyed, especially with the long sigh that escaped him as his head fell back.

 

"Donnie, I won't get mad." Leo stated, well.. lied, but Donnie won't get into that, as he placed his hands on Donnie's shoulders, holding eye contact forcefully. "I mayyy have stolen from TCRI but I SWEAR I was gonna give it back I just dropped it and.." his voice faded as Leo's expression went from confused and concerned to absolutely horrified and angry in the span of seconds.

 

"YOU WHAT?" Leo and Raph yelled in sync, causing Donnie to nod, scared to open his mouth again. "Donnie you were like.. my second to last brother expected to steal." Raph stood up before realizing he was surrounded by glass and the mystery ooze. "What the fuck is the red shit on the floor? Did you steal blood?!" He pointed downward and ignored Mikey asking who Raph thought first to steal was.

 

"..ooze." Donnie whispered. "OOZE??" Okay now Mikey decided to join in on the yelling. "Yeah. I don't know what it does and I just.. I saw it and stole it. I was gonna put it back!"

 

"Well look where that got you!"Leo snapped, walking out of the room, leaving the others to look at each other in shock. Leo yelled at Donnie? What the fuck? "I told you he gets crazy!" Raph crossed his arms, probably referring to the broken mirror. "Leo yelled, he didn't punch him!" Mikey leaned over his bed, glaring at Raph. "I dunno.. he looked like he was gonna."

 

"Gonna what?" Leo walked back in, a roll of paper towels in his hands. "Gonna nothing." Raph smiled innocently, which immediately went past Leo. He didn't have the younger sibling charm Mikey and Donnie usually had. "Whatever." Leo mumbled, getting onto his knees so he could clean up the mess, immediately followed by Donnie and Raph (begrudgingly, but he felt like being nice).

 

"Dude what the hell did they put in this? It's nasty." Raph wiped a bit of the liquid that got onto his thumb on a napkin. "Wait now I wanna feel." Mikey leaned over the bed and reached his hand out like someone would actually hand him a napkin.

 

"We're not- you're not touching it!" Leo looked at Mikey like he was insane, being given a whine in response before hitting Raphs arm when he wiped one of the napkins down his arm. "Raph what the fuck?!" Leo looked down at his now red covered arm and wiped it off, ignoring how Donnie started telling Raph that they didn't know what was in the ooze and how he was being dangerously stupid doing that.

 

Then, when they tried to stop talking entirely, any concept of silence kept being interrupted by Mikey asking to feel the ooze. "Oh my god- MIKEY. You could get hurt!" Leo's voice cut the younger brother off, causing him to groan and whine. "You hate me! You hate me and you hope I never experience life changing things!" Donnie kept his head down, biting his tongue as he watched Leo get genuinely angry for once.

 

When they were finally done cleaning up the mess Donnie ignored Raph smuggling Mikey a napkin with just a LITTLE bit of the ooze on it. He didn't feel like listening to Leo telling them off, nor did he feel like snitching. "Genuine idiots." He mumbled, crawling into his tent and immediately blacking out.

 

Donnie shot up from his tent when he heard the sound of an echoing scream coming from Leo. "DONNIE WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?!" Donnie didn't even get a second to process that a random human with Leo's voice was stood in front of him, grabbing his hoodie and screaming into his face. "Wha.. who are you?" He mumbled, searching for his glasses.

 

"It's Leo! Dude what the fuck! You- that ooze did this! Look at you!" Donnie blinked a few times, grasping the fact Leo was.. human now. Wait 'look at you?' Does that mean that he is ALSO human? "Whuddya mean look at me?" Donnies eyes drifted down to look at his hands, examining how he now had five fingers and dark brown skin.

 

"Oh my god." His voice was a soft whisper, eyes slowly looking up to examine Leo properly since he now had his glasses on. He was the same skin tone as Donnie and his hair was already in perfect locs? "Did you like.. do your hair the millisecond you woke up?" He asked, sitting up more.

 

"Huh? Wh- THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE FOCUSING ON?" Leo yelled before sighing and running a hand down his face. "No, no I didn't. That ooze decided that I needed my hair to be perfectly done immediately." How the fuck- what?? Wait does that imply Donnie's hair is already done?

 

"I just had to know." Donnie mumbled, reaching his hand up to feel his own hair. "No, no you didn't! But you know what you do need to know?" Leo started before standing up and crossing his arms like a disappointed mother. "What, Leo? What do I need to know?" Donnie sighed, leaning back a bit as Leo pointed a finger into his face.

 

"You need to fix this."

Chapter Text

"You need to fix this."

 

Leo's voice was the type of disappointed that made Donnie want to tuck into his shell (sadly he couldn't). He was so thrown off from not hearing Leo's typical calm and caring voice that it made the simple idea of eye contact horrifying, causing Donnie to look down at the ground. They both knew the look that Leo was giving him; the angry mother look where Donnie felt like Leo lost all respect for him.

 

"I will. They probably have something at the TCRI building-" Donnie fumbled over his words, trying to find a way to make this sound like he'd actually be able to fix this. He was smart, sure, but he can't just figure this out! He didn't even know this would happen! "I mean.. I don't know, maybe. I didn't expect this-" Donnie sighed and ran his hands down his face, attempting to avoid Leo's look.

 

"I don't care if you did or didn't know, Donnie. You caused this!" Leo's eyes slowly drifted towards Raph and Mikey's bunk beds, watching as the two continued to sleep peacefully. "This is horrible, you know that?" He let out a long, exasperated sigh before looking back at Donnie and speaking in a hushed voice "I trust you to figure this out. I need to get air."

 

"Wh- you're just leaving?!" Donnie stood up, watching Leo walk out of their room. "Yes! I don't want to be here right now and I don't want to look at you right now!" Leo turned and pointed his finger at Donnie, watching as his younger brother's face went through three different emotions at once. Anger, shock, then sadness. The room fell silent as Leo turned around, ignoring Donnie's reaction to Leo's sudden change of character.

 

The sound of the sewer lid opening echoed through the sewers and into the bedroom. Donnie let out a huff and looked to their brothers, staring at their new humanoid forms and whispering to himself "Raph is gonna kill me." The concept of Leo being so angry though.. Leo would probably kill Donnie before Raph gets to him at this point.

 

Leo exited the sewers and stood in the alleyway for god knows how long. His mind was filled with different thoughts that ranged from anger towards Donnie to back to when he first woke up and saw his reflection in the mirror. He felt like crying every time his mind went back to his reflection, remembering the way his fingers looked and felt pressed against his cheek for the first time and how Donnie barely reacted.

 

He didn't know how to feel towards him getting mad at Donnie now that he thought back. I mean, he caused this! But he was also Leo's brother and Leo was meant to be an example for how he should act. "Maybe I should apologize." Leo mumbled, finding himself walking down the street, attempting to blend into the crowd.

 

Honestly, it was odd not being noticed. He usually would've had a crowd around him by now, but it was nice to be able to just walk outside without anyone asking for photos. Sure, yes, he enjoyed being popular, but sometimes it was too much. Leo put his hands into his hoodie pocket, letting out a long sigh before continuing down the road.

 

"I wonder if Raph and Mikey are awake." Leo thought to himself, slowly making his way to the park nearby. He would retreat here often whenever he was upset, although he never really admitted why he was upset when he did— he'd just say he was upset and never expand. Today Donnie got to witness why though, that was just a short moment of weakness that Leo won't show again

 

Hopefully he won't show it again.

 

But every time Leo thought back to it he just got more and more upset. His body looked so different now and he felt so.. wrong. He looked down at his hands that were rested in his lap and began opening and closing them. This all felt so wrong. He had just accepted being a mutant in a human world. Leo let out a long sigh as he put his head in his hands.

 

They always talked about being human and being able to live a normal life, but now that his life was beginning to be normal this is what Leo gets. Donnie didn't mean to do this, sure, but god did Leo really want to strangle him right now. Like, seriously, why was he so calm? Why did he focus on their HAIR? Leo's hand went up to feel his hair again, this was just another thing that made him feel weird. Never having hair then one day just waking up with a full head of hair? Yeah, safe to say Leo didn't know how to feel.

 

He didn't know how to feel about staying anywhere right now either. Home was where Donnie was and Leo would rather be anywhere but near Donnie right now, but this park felt too exposed, and Leo didn't know which was worse at this point.

 

Honestly, knowing he didn’t want to be near his brothers felt like he was the worst turtle..uh..human.. ever. Like, what leader doesn’t want to be with his team? This leader apparently. Maybe his brothers really deserved better. He shouldn’t be leading a team if this is how he’s thinking

 

He should just leave.

 

Obviously with how he spoke to Donnie he deserved a better brother too.

 

When the fact that he was human really set into Raphs mind, he didn't react calmly. But like.. when did he?

 

Raph was yelling at Donnie so loudly that he woke Mikey up, which was when he realized he also unknowingly made Mikey human by going against Leo he went quiet, watching as Mikey looked at his hands in confusion. "Dude.. What the fuck happened?"

 

"Yeah, Donnie? What happened?" Raph slowly turned to look at Donnie, who was looking at the ground avoiding eye contact. The three of them sat in silence as Donnie slowly lifted his head up and looked between the two, his mouth opening and closing as he tried to find a way to respond.

 

"I uh.. that ooze from last night.." Donnie's voice got more and more into a whisper each word. "It turned us human."

 

The silence was deafening, the only thing heard was a sharp inhale from Mikey before he sat up to climb off his bunk to walk over to Donnie and grab his shoulders, shaking him violently. "It WHAT?! Oh my god this is so cool we can finally be human!"

 

"This isn't cool, Mikey!" Raph pulled Mikey off Donnie and shook his head. "Also stop shaking Donnie dude, are you insane? You should know better." Damn, that one hurt.

 

Mikey only gave an awkward smile in return before looking around the room, his few brain cells clearly working together for once. "Wait where's Leo? I need to see how he looks."

 

Donnie froze in place, looking absolutely horrified as he tried to find any way to explain where Leo was. "You see, Leo's not really here right now.. he's kinda mad- I mean—not mad mad but he's upset at me because of this.." he began fumbling over his words, Mikey and Raph side eyed him as he struggled to explain. "Okay so maybe he kinda got really really mad because I wasn't scared too. BUT ALL I DID WAS NOT FREAK OUT!" Donnie began yelling, throwing his hands in the air while trying to explain.

 

"I never expected Leo to say something like that to me." Donnie mumbled, looking down at the floor. Him and Mikey were used to being "babies" in Leos eyes, which had pros and cons, one being that Leo never really spoke that harsh to them.

 

"So he actually acted like how Raph said he did that one time?" Mikey asked, covering his mouth to yawn quietly.

"Sorta? He was all "I don't want to look at you right now!"" Donnie did air quotes to mock how Leo was talking.

 

"So he didn't punch a hole in the mirror?" Mikey joked, punching Raphs arm a few times as he said it, grinning as Raph slowly turned to look at him like he was going to strangle him.

 

"No, no he didn't." Donnie sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

 

"Damn that sucks.. wait what even like.. caused him to do that again?" Mikey crossed his arms, watching Raph shrug as he clearly began to think.

 

"I.. forget." Raph looked away and to the ground, biting his lip as he avoided eye contact. "Liar." Donnie mumbled, crossing his arms as Raph went on a defensive rant until Mikey placed his finger over his lips and said "It's okay, we're not all destined to be good liars."

 

The three stood there for a bit, silence slowly falling as Raph visibly calmed down slightly. "So like.. should we look for Leo?" Raph started, shrugging as he crossed his arms. Leo wasn't the type to just up and leave, especially after making Donnie feel like shit, which he never did so there was no other time to compare to. Does he know he made Donnie feel like shit? Leo always babied the younger brothers (which Raph not so secretly envied by complaining constantly), so this change in behavior towards Donnie really just made him want to make him curl into a ball and hide forever.

 

"I don't think Leo wants to see me right now." Donnie mumbled, scratching his arm as he looked down at the floor. He was embarrassed to even admit that he thought that, but he couldn't pretend he didn't feel that way.

 

"Dude. Leo can get so mad at you he like.. I dunno kicks you out of the sewers and he'll always care about you. Take it from me, his twin brother." Raph put his hand on his chest and grinned at Donnie. Even though they weren't really twins, they both said it and acted like it was true.

 

"You say that but you didn't see him earlier." Donnie mumbled, his voice cracking as he shrugged and thought back on how Leo said straight up he didn't want to be near him. "I mean.. Leo never said anything like that before. Not to me, Mikey, you, nobody!" He threw his arms up and watched as Raph sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose while trying to find a response.

 

"I- you.. I mean.." Raph struggled to find a response, his words refusing to work with him.

 

"I mean you did cause this by being a thief." Mikey shrugged, getting a slap on the back of the head by Raph in response. "Ow! Dude, it's true! If Donnie didn't go to the TCRI building this wouldn't have happened." Mikey shrugged before fixing the sleeves on his shirt that was certainly now too large for his body from falling down and watched as the other two stared at him, Donnie more upset than Raph.

 

Screw trying to comfort Donnie apparently, brutal honesty was the only option. "If you didn't steal illegal equipment this would've been fine. That's logic." He jumped back as Raph went to whack him again. "Dude! Quit it!"

 

"Quit making Donnie feel worse then!"

 

The twos voices began to fade as Donnie stood there, realizing that if he had just accepted that everything was over then none of this would have happened.

 

But obviously it wouldn't have been over. Donnie proved (and caused) it. God, usually he loved being right, but now he couldn't take it. Leo wasn't being the Leo he was used to right now and even if he won't admit it, Donnie wanted his brother back.

 

"I need to fix this." Donnie mumbled, walking to his dresser and digging around for an outfit. "Wait.. what? You're just gonna leave like Leo?" Raph stepped closer, following Donnie as he walked towards the makeshift doorway before watching him stop to stand with his hand still gripping the curtain the four put up.

 

Donnie turned, throwing his hands out comically as he spoke. "I'm not leaving 'like Leo'! I'm leaving like someone who ruined everything and needs to fix it before Leo does something dumb! He's our brother, Raph. If he gets hurt because I was why he ran away then I'd be the worstbrother on earth!" His voice cracked as he placed his hand onto his chest to motion to himself.

 

"So like.. should I go with you so you don't do something dumb again?" Raph crossed his arms, shrugging as he tried to find an excuse to come with. Donnie visibly went through ten different emotions while trying to find a response before letting out a long sigh and tilting his head back.

 

"Wait I don't want to be here alone." Mikey straightened up, watching as his brothers pinched the bridges of their noses in sync. "What?" Mikey asked, "I don't wanna not go out while I'm human." He shrugged, ignoring his brothers overlapping voices pointing out how he just gave a different excuse.

 

"You just- you guys aren't coming!" Donnie pointed at the two, putting his hands into his hoodie after Raph swatted his hand away. "Yeahhh no you're completely wrong. Like you said, you caused this so I think we can do what we want since we're innocent." Raph smiled, his missing tooth sticking out like a sore thumb even as a human.

 

"I.. do either of you know how to stick to one reason? You just said-" Donnie sighed and turned around and let out a long sigh before turning around walking to the bathroom "I give up. Do what you want. I..I don't care anymore."

Chapter Text

The shattered mirror made it impossible for Donnie to see his full face, but after this morning he was beginning to believe that maybe, just maybe, Raph wasn't lying that day. Usually he would ignore his reflection, not really caring to look at himself since he just couldn't be paid care to worry about his looks; but today he really, really wished that this mirror wasn't completely broken.

 

Like, what if he was absolutely hideous? This was the type of thing he NEEDED to know and there wasn't any denying that. Well, he could check with his phone camera. There he goes being the smart brother again. Is that really smart brother behavior though? Mikey coulda thought of that.

 

A soft sigh escaped him as he started pulling a change of clothes on. It's fine, he's fine. he's smart. He's in AP classes! Sure, he was originally in classes with his brothers and now looking back he wished he didn't switch classes but hey, it's okay. It's.. it's okay. It's all been okay. He's hidden his constant dependency on his brothers, especially Leo, this long. Donnie can hide his issues for a few more months until school ends.

 

Did he really hide it though? What if they all knew he was weak without them and treated him like he was strong to his face but talked behind his back? What if they're only coming because they think he wasn't able to care for himself ? "What ifs" began to flood Donnie's brain, his vision turning blurry as he felt a few tears building up.

 

A shaky sigh escaped him as he leaned against the sink, closing his eyes in the process and ignoring how his glasses that were now too large for his face started slipping down his nose as he began to whisper to himself "I.. I'm not weak. I can't be! It's just that they're only coming so I don't steal anything." Wow, what a pep talk he just gave himself, Donnie should get an award for how amazing that was and become a motivational speaker or something.

 

_____

 

Leo found himself wandering the streets of New York at some point, he couldn't really say when he started walking again. His mind had left his body to fend for itself. All he knew was that the cold feeling of the metal railing against his hand and the view of people walking on the concrete stairs beside or past him kept Leo from entirely shutting down.

 

He was focused on his surroundings, that was good enough.. sorta.

 

He didn't even realize that someone was being robbed in broad daylight (or tunnel light technically) until the screaming of people around him made something in him react on impulse when he spotted the thief try to run. Something in the back of his mind just made him think about how if someone just caught Donnie none of this would have happened.

 

So, when the girl ran past Leo his 'ninja instincts' took over and he grabbed her puffer jacket's sleeve, pulling her close to him so he could stop her. Immediately, he recognized her because this exact scenario happened before with the same goddamn girl.

 

Immediately he examined his brain for something to say, like he couldn't really arrest the girl or tell her off, he's not her father nor the police. He did just grab her so maybe he hurt her?? Should he make sure she's not hurt? While thinking of what to say he just stared at her, holding her while praying to find something, anything, to say.

 

"You okay?" He berated himself in his mind because great he stood there staring just for him to say that, Leo's gonna internally scream at himself for hours. "Sorry I.." he looked away and scratched the back of his neck while releasing her from his arms, fumbling over his words "fuck-" he sighed and looked at the girl who was now fixing her mask and slowly stepping backwards. "Woah hey you're not gonna leave. You just-" Leo pointed between the bag in the thief's hands and the woman she just stole from slowly stepping forward also.

 

"Are you expecting me to give it back?" Her voice was harsh and she was visibly ready to run. "I mean.. yeah kinda? It's not yours?" Leo shrugged "That's logic." Damn Mikey was rubbing off on Leo.

 

"That was the dumbest thing I've ever heard. I almost want to give you the bag cause I feel like.. insulted that you said that to me." The girl looked between the bag and Leo, standing still after making a good distance away from him. "That would be nice." He sighed, extending his hand out. "Genuinely who do you think you are saying that? Some tough guy? I was being sarcastic."

 

"No I don't—whhat? I don't think that-" he was cut off by a guy shoving past him, yelling what Leo would now PRAY was a nickname considering he was hearing her being referred to as "Pipe". Maybe it was short for Piper? Hopefully it was.

 

The guy yelling really didn't interest Leo all that much, though Pipe was completely focused on arguing with the dude, so Leo took this chance to do a dumb stunt of trying to grab the bag from her hand while she was somewhat distracted. She wasn't focused on him anymore so he had a SMALL chance, let the poor dude take it.

 

Even if it was dumb it worked, so hooray? But also, this caused Pipe and the dude to start yelling at Leo. which honestly he expected, but still, he managed to do something that his brothers won't believe so there's that.

 

After getting the bag back to the rightful owner and staying in defense mode for the girl who was given the bag until the two left, Leo debated going home or staying out. Going home meant seeing Donnie, staying out meant risking being seen by April and what if she somehow recognizes him???? Oh god April can never see him like this until Donnie fixes it.

 

What if Donnie doesn't fix it? Donnie wanted to be human. What if Donnie fixes this for everyone but Leo because of this morning? Leo was a horrible brother this morning. He wasn't mature. He was supposed to be mature.

 

Why wasn't he mature? Dad trusted him to be mature and maybe he shouldn't be trusted with such a big role.

 

Leo should apologize. No, an apology should never be enough for Donnie. He was practically Leo's baby brother. Leo saw and treated him like a baby, at least. Donnie had such bad attachment issues towards him and Leo just did this

 

Maybe Leo can fix this for Donnie. That's what a good older brother would do, right? If Donnie found the ooze at TCRI maybe he could find a fix? Would that be possible? Was there even a fix? Did this just become permanent? Wait, why was the sound around Leo getting louder? He could feel his chest tighten and began to lose the ability to think properly anymore.

 

Nothing looked correct. His vision was getting blurry and the world spun. Was his hoodie always this itchy? God, would everything just stop? Suddenly, it all slowed down and indeed, stopped.

 

Is this a panic attack? Leo remembered helping Donnie through a few and even Mikey once, but never really understood what went through their mind when they happened. Damn, Leo was a horrible brother. His brother could have had a panic attack and he just left him. Raph didn't know how to help him! Raph never had to help, Leo always had to help!

 

Oh God Leo left Donnie.

 

Leo felt like he was going to faint as he fumbled for the nearest bench to keep himself from hitting the ground, ignoring how he pushed past people. His breathing was jagged and sharp as he fell onto the metal chair beneath him and placed his head into his hands, imagining how he completely skipped over any concept of how his brothers would feel.

 

He was such a bad brother.

 

_______

 

The crunch of the destroyed remains of the TCRI building scraped at Raphs ears. It was just as annoying that they constantly had to step over retro mutagen while listening to it. They had no idea what the retro mutagen would do in contrast to the "retro human mutagen" so Donnie said be as careful as possible. Genuinely WHY did he willingly come again? What reason was there for Donnie to do this? "I regret coming here." Raph stated, watching as Donnie spun around so quickly his head should've fallen off.

 

"WHAT DID I SAY TO YOU? WHAT DID I SAY THAT YOU SHOULD NOT DO?" Donnie's yelling was cut off by Mikey covering his mouth, shushing him. "Shhhusshhh- EWWW!" Raph watched as he pulled his (now covered in spit) hand away fast and wiped it on his shirt before mumbling "You're gross.".

 

"You're annoying." Donnie huffed back before Raph (presumably) and his brothers heard the sound of rubble being moved behind him. Both of his brothers were in front of him so who the FUCK is here?

 

That must've been a question all three shared because their heads tilted in sync, seeing a the back of a dude around Raph's height with hair so greasy it genuinely pissed Raph off. Shit looked absolutely NASTY. "Eugh." He murmured to himself, turning to face the floor to avoid any possibly retro mutagen while trying to find a steadier place to stand. "WHO SAID THAT?! CASEY JONES IS NOT SCARED OF YOU." The dude whipped around and stood in a defensive position, giving the turtles..humans.. turtle humans(?) a better view of how he had a dark red tshirt on with a black longsleeve under it and dark brown eyes that showed how he was entirely as ready to fight as he acted.

 

"WHO ARE YOU?!" The three brothers looked between each other and debated telling him, Raph and Donnie were clearly on team no because Raph would probably freak if he spoke to him and Donnie just didn't.. actually Raph didn't know why. Mikey was on a different wavelength though. "We're the turtles who saved the city but we turned human so uhhhhuuuhhhmmmmm yeah."

 

Everyone stood in silence as Mikey said that. Who in their right mind would believe that shit?? "What? Like.. for real?" How. Just.. Raph couldn't believe the fact he was watching Mikey nod in response to this gullible ass dude. Casey stepped forward, his eyes practically glowing. "that's so cool! Oh my gosh-"

 

Raph slowly began to tone Casey's rambling out for god knows how long until he realized his name was being called. "Huh? What?" He shook his head, looking at Mikey and Donnie. "I'm not feeling well." Donnie mumbled, to which got a response of Mikey shifting Donnie's weight onto his shoulder more.

 

Donnie was almost the same weight as Mikey, a few pounds heavier sure, but nothing Mikey couldn't deny that he'd handle. "I mean.. like.. I don't.." Raph glanced at Casey as if he'd have an answer, but Casey knew less than he did. "Is it like.. an aura?" He stepped forward slightly, whispering the last word before his arms extended as he watched Donnie fall forward off of Mikey's body.

 

That was his answer.

Chapter Text

Donnie's vision was blurry, he slowly turned to face Mikey, trying to make out his features. Dark skin.. curly hair.. but why can't he figure out his face? Mikey's features looked like they were fading away from Donnie as if everything. What was happening? The world around him shrunk, getting darker around the edges of his vision

 

Mikey's voice began to break through Donnie's thoughts, though the words weren't quite clear. Was he saying something about Raph? Maybe saying something to him. The sound around Donnie was fading away no matter how hard he tried to pull it back to him.

 

His head got a sharp shock when he turned it, the feeling sent a shiver down his entire body. The blur of Raph stepping forward towards Donnie made him open his mouth and step closer to Raph so he could join the conversation. But then, everything went black.

 

__

 

Raph gasped and stumbled slightly as Donnie fell into his arms "Oh god- Mikey call dad, now!" What else does Raph need to do? What does Leo do? He lays Donnie down, right? Protect his head? Something needs to be under it though. There's no way he should lay him down on rocks! What goes under it?! Leo usually puts Donnie's head in his lap, doesn't he? Maybe???

 

"Fuck.. uh.." Raph struggled to sit down while holding Donnie. He turned Donnie to his side and laid his head gently down in his lap while sitting criss cross. Wait, should Raph pin him down or should he not pin him down? Leo would know. Leo probably would have known before Donnie himself knew. Leo has known before Donnie himself knew. Something about burning copper or whatever. Raph will remember it at some point.

 

"I wish Leo was here." Raph mumbled, looking down at Donnie's convulsing body. There were bruises that had transferred over from his mutant body onto his human one along his legs and, to take a not so wild guess, probably his arms if you lifted his hoodie.

 

The sight of the largest and most prominent bruise, the deepest reminder of his first seizure where nobody knew what to do drilled into Raphs mind. It was only a few years ago but while looking at Donnie's face, the emptiness behind his eyes, it felt like it had all come back.

 

The memory of how Donnie was just trying to shower and then suddenly fell through the curtain, the rod going down with him. Thankfully, it didn't land on his head, just onto his leg. It was horrible watching Donnie visibly be in pain over something he had no control over afterwards.

 

"This sucks." Mikey stated, crossing his arms as he sat down across Raph. "Leo would've known. Leo would've-" Mikey got cut off by Raph yelling at him "I'm not Leo and Leo isn't here! You're stuck with me! I-I don't know what to do right now! Suck it up, Mikey!" His voice cracked, being reminded just how dependent Raph was on his brother sucked. "Also why the hell are you complaining while Donnie's literally taking a seizure? Fucking call dad!"

 

He was the strong one, the one who should be protecting his brothers, and he never really was. Leo was.

 

"Maybe if Leo were here.." WHO was Casey to mention Leo?? What fucking asshole does that? "You're a dick. Like.. seriously who does that? My brother is taking a seizure and you're doing this!" Raph threw his arms up before freezing when he felt Donnie sit up.

 

"What happened?" Donnie looked between the three before putting his hand on his head. "You took a seizure." Mikey mumbled, rubbing his back. The three watched as cogs turned in Donnie's head. Was turning human going to be an even bigger issue for his seizures?

 

With his luck, it probably will be.

 

____

 

It had been hours. Well, no, not literally. It had been like fifteen minutes. Donnie couldn't hold himself up properly, nearly falling multiple times even though he was being supported by Raph. It was embarrassing being dependent on his brother like this.

 

He stumbled a bit, causing both Raph and Mikey to put their hands in front of him in case he would fall forward.

 

"Shit.. I'm sorry guys." Donnie mumbled, catching himself as their walking slowed down, stopping at a manhole and watched Mikey lift the lid. "It's not your fault. You can't control that, Don." Mikey's smile only made Donnie feel worse though. He didn't deserve to be smiled at, he had managed to make Leo completely change somehow, and not just physically.

 

The echo of their footsteps in the sewers made the silence so uncomfortable. Mikey tried to start a conversation, but Donnie wasn't paying attention at all. The feeling of his sweatpants being too baggy to the point he's had to triple knot the string was suddenly so annoying it was the only thing he could focus on.

 

Even when he reached their shared room and reached his tent he just wanted everything to just settle down. Sounds were annoying, textures were annoying, smells were annoying, god was anything not annoying Donnie right now?

 

His mind was trying to find something, anything, that was gonna comfort him, but that fell flat. He gave up and just closed his eyes, succumbing to the world around him.

 

His eyes shot open when he heard his name come from.. Leo? Leo was home. Donnie should apologize to Leo. He couldn't have sat up and nearly tear the zipper to his tent quicker just to get out. Wait. What was he saying?

 

The echo of the sewers gave Donnie access to the ability to hear every word. Something he usually would love, but right now he hated it.

 

"I never want to see him again."

 

Leo wouldn't say that. Leo would find a way to fix this, and that would mean being with Donnie! He'd never-

 

"You can't say that Leo, we don't know how to take care of him—"

 

Take care of him? What is he a fucking animal? He's a goddamn teenager he can take care of himself! Do they think he can't?

 

Do they think he's that weak?

 

"Take care of him? Raph he's able to handle himself!"

 

Leo still understands. At least he can say that. Leo may never want to see Donnie anymore but he still sees his potential. Thats something? That's like.. brotherly love or something? Right? But why is it only Leo who can understand that? Why is it only Leo who can recognize that Donnie is old enough to handle himself?

 

Donnie's hand absentmindedly reached to the bruise on the back of his leg. The day he got that bruise Leo never left his side, so wouldn't Leo think he'd never be able to handle himself? He let out a soft sigh and curled back into his tent, his eyes closing gently as his hand stayed rested on the bruise, pressing against it.

Chapter Text

"Take care of him? Raph he's able to handle himself!"

 

Leo's yell echoed through the room, causing Raph and Mikey to both stare at him with a look he'd never seen before which was immediately followed by Mikey turning his head to face Raphael.

 

Leo never yelled, he knew he had to be mature. Splinter always told him that since he was the leader he had to be able to handle more than the others and act as calm as possible.

 

So why can't he right now?

 

He was meant to be the one the other three could turn to, so why did he just make Mikey have to look to Raph? "I.. sorry." Leo mumbled before reaching his hand out to place his hand on Raph's shoulder, stopping his two brothers from walking away.

 

Well, only one stayed; Mikey kept walking. The echo of his footsteps slowly faded away as Leo and Raph stared at each other, holding an uncomfortable silence before Raph looked to the curtain that currently separated them from their bedroom. "You know he'll hurt himself again. We all do. You just don't want to believe it since you're mad at him"

 

"Do you think that low of me?" Leo pulled his hand away as his voice cracked, watching as Raph opened his mouth to respond yet choosing to stay silent while turning around to presumably follow Mikey.

 

Raph really thought Leo would let Donnie get hurt.

 

Leo felt his eyes burn, the simple idea making him think about the memory of seeing Donnie's empty face that day, not knowing what to do, and seeing his shell cracked for over a year.

 

Maybe Raph's right and Donnie shouldn't be alone.

 

But Leo felt selfish knowing he still didn't want to be near Donnie. Could he just give the role of leader to Raphael and leave? It's not like he didn't want to be leader at one point.

 

…yyeahhhh what's actually stopping him? His brothers? Yeah technically, but they'll handle being a few days away from him.

 

That's the mentality Leo kept while he scribbled on a piece of loose leaf and placed it on the fridge with a magnet shaped like the number 3.

 

He couldn't have left the sewers any quicker after that. Hell, he didn't even consider to bring anything except his swords and wallet with him, worried they might track his phone.

 

____

 

Raphael fumbled to get the sewer lid off, his hands were shaking from the interaction with Leo. Sure Leo got mad, but Raph wasn't used to being yelled at by the turtle..well.. human now. Was he mad at Leo? Certainly. Who was he to say Donnie was just fine? Who was he to just.. let his emotions decide to make him stop caring about their brother?!

 

The manhole lid mad a loud bang, practically announcing the fact Raph could finally open the damn thing to the whole world. He knew that this was the manhole that brought him straight to a small pizzeria that was cheap and good, something that Raph could never find.

 

Fumbling for his wallet as he walked into the restaurant, he slowed down as he saw fuckass Casey Jones sitting at one of the tables. Immediately he wanted to turn around and just leave, but he didn't. He can be in the same space as the dude! Hell, he might not even recognize Raph!

 

But just as Raph was sitting down with his slices of pizza, he could hear Casey's footsteps coming his direction. "Please no.." Raph pleaded with whatever god there was in his mind, begging for Casey to walk away.

 

Nope, this disrespectful fuck sat down in front of him and started a conversation. Not even a hi or anything. "Dude.. what the fuck?" Raph cut Casey off from whatever he was about to say, watching as the dude just shrugged.

 

"Came to well.. check if your brother is okay."

 

Okay now Raph looks like an asshole. He was checking on Donnie and Raph got annoyed. But like.. he had the fact that Casey just SAT DOWN. Maybe he was locked away like Raph was and had no idea how to act too. "Oh.. sorry. It's been a hectic day. Like.. completely insane." Raph placed his elbow on the table and pressed his cheek into the palm of his hand while looking down at the pizza.

 

"I get you. Days are just like that sometimes." Casey nodded as Raphael slowly looked up at him before taking a bite of his pizza. "Like.. days where you see your sibling so.. vulnerable.. is just so horrible." Raph watched as Casey placed his own elbows on the table, raising his hands so his palms were shown, revealing calluses along his left hand.

 

"Yeah. It sucks." Raph mumbled, leaning back in his seat and looking to his left. "Sometimes I wish my brother could just deal with it. I mean.. he does—" Raph looked at his food, his mind filling as he realized how much he put onto Leo "—he does.. a lot. Like.. I make him do everything for the others." Wow he sounds like such an asshole.

 

"You've never helped?" Casey blinked before watching Raph tense up. "With Donnie I do.. but like— he's the leader! He should do the other stuff." Raph sighed and stood up, walking towards the trashcan and throwing his now empty plate out. "Dad always said the leader should do all that stuff."

 

Casey shook his head and crossed his arms as he leaned back. "That's dumb. Family looks out for family."

 

"I do! It's just.. I don't know when I'm expected to unless we're fighting. Like.. Leo literally is given every task." Raph motioned to the door, silently asking if Casey wanted to leave with him, which was met with a silent nod and Casey standing up to walk beside him.

 

The two ended up walking for about an hour, talking aimlessly as they found themselves talking about their families, superfly, and of course themself.

 

Raph never opened up and somehow he was admitting and saying things he didn't even know about himself.

 

"I'm just worried. Like.. now that this happened—" Raph looked down at his hands, opening and closing them "—Leo's been all 'ragh I'm so angry at you all!' It's weird. Like.. why?!" Raph put his hands in his pockets, turning to face Casey who seemed to be thinking hard on how to reply.

 

"Sorry. I'm dumping this all on you." Raph sighed and watched Casey shake his head. "No, no. It's fine. Life's tough dude. Especially when you're a mutant turtle suddenly turnt human." He gave a small smile to Raph, watching as he started to snicker.

 

When his laugh came to a stop, Raphael's voice came back softer. "Thanks man. I just.. I don't get any of it. Leo, Donnie, hell.. I don't get you! Why do you believe me? I could be lying straight to your face and you're just listening and being nice!" Raph's voice cracked, his eyes falling to the floor.

 

"Sometimes you just gotta believe, dude." Casey shrugged, the two slowly making their way into a random park and onto a bench. "I mean.. if you don't believe in something or well.. someone you never know what you'll lose until you might end up actually having to miss them." Casey's hands sat in his lap, his right thumb brushing against a yellow bracelet that definitely didn't match the rest of his outfit.

 

Suddenly silence became more evident as Raph stared at Casey. He had been cracking jokes and being so unserious that it seems like a switch just flipped. What just happened? The two held eye contact for a bit longer before Casey closed his eyes and sighed, leaning back on the bench.

 

"That was so poetic of me. I should be the next Shakespeare." Casey's eyes slowly opened, a smile finding itself on his face again as Raph struggled to react to the change in tone again.

 

"Do you.. want to talk about that?" Raph's voice cracked as he struggled to find the words, placing his hands in his lap as he watched Casey's face turn red. "No. No I- I don't need to."

 

"But do you want to?"

 

_____

 

The sound of Mikey walking through the sewers echoed throughout each turn. He lifted his left hand to feel the wall, his mind running the previous conversation over and over as if it was a broken record.

 

His walking slowed down as he leaned against the sewer wall, dragging his body down to sit, his tshirt that was now too big for his body slowly slipping off before being corrected to be over his shoulders again. Leo yelling was out of the ordinary and Mikey wasn't used to it.

 

As his knees curled up to his chest with his arms crossed overtop of them, Mikey leaned his head down and looked down the sewer towards their home, closing his eyes as he tried to imagine how today would be if Donnie hadn't gone to the TCRI remains.

 

They wouldn't be humans, Leo wouldn't be mad, and maybe Donnie wouldn't have taken that seizure.

 

His mind continued replaying everything over and over, the way Raph continued repeating to call dad, which he did, honest! It's not Mikey's fault he didn't pick up. Honestly, where was he? Wouldn't Splinter realize that his four sons were now human? He'll find out eventually at least.

 

A long sigh escaped Mikey as he turned his face to be pressed into his arms. The echo of someone else walking didn't even bother Mikey at all, if anything he hoped that whoever was walking would stop for him, which was instead met by the metal clank from the ladder the four used to leave echoing down the sewers.

 

Nobody came to him.

 

He was so far away from their home, why did he expect them to know where he was? Why did he think they'd find him?

 

Maybe he just wanted to know if they would try. At least he'd have the ability to say that, right?

 

"Maybe they're searching the surface." Mikey whispered, hoping to convince himself while trying to ignore the way the sewers wasn't full of sound, even if it practically punched him in the face.

 

God did Mikey hate the sewers when it was quiet. Sometimes it would force him to focus on his thoughts which always seemed to make him more anxious than usual. Then, the quiet might be followed by the gentle splash sound from a droplet coming out of a broken pipe above.

 

It was rhythmic in an annoying way. A drop echoing then silence, another drop, silence, two drops softly hitting back to back followed by a long pause. Mikey inhaled, his hands opening and closing as he put them through his hair. He released a long exhale as another drop mocked him, leaving just as he released the breath. His eyes went up, staring at the pipe like his mind could fix it psychonetically.

 

Nope. One gentle drop left the pipe and splashed anyways.