Chapter Text
"Take care of him? Raph he's able to handle himself!"
Leo's yell echoed through the room, causing Raph and Mikey to both stare at him with a look he'd never seen before which was immediately followed by Mikey turning his head to face Raphael.
Leo never yelled, he knew he had to be mature. Splinter always told him that since he was the leader he had to be able to handle more than the others and act as calm as possible.
So why can't he right now?
He was meant to be the one the other three could turn to, so why did he just make Mikey have to look to Raph? "I.. sorry." Leo mumbled before reaching his hand out to place his hand on Raph's shoulder, stopping his two brothers from walking away.
Well, only one stayed; Mikey kept walking. The echo of his footsteps slowly faded away as Leo and Raph stared at each other, holding an uncomfortable silence before Raph looked to the curtain that currently separated them from their bedroom. "You know he'll hurt himself again. We all do. You just don't want to believe it since you're mad at him"
"Do you think that low of me?" Leo pulled his hand away as his voice cracked, watching as Raph opened his mouth to respond yet choosing to stay silent while turning around to presumably follow Mikey.
Raph really thought Leo would let Donnie get hurt.
Leo felt his eyes burn, the simple idea making him think about the memory of seeing Donnie's empty face that day, not knowing what to do, and seeing his shell cracked for over a year.
Maybe Raph's right and Donnie shouldn't be alone.
But Leo felt selfish knowing he still didn't want to be near Donnie. Could he just give the role of leader to Raphael and leave? It's not like he didn't want to be leader at one point.
…yyeahhhh what's actually stopping him? His brothers? Yeah technically, but they'll handle being a few days away from him.
That's the mentality Leo kept while he scribbled on a piece of loose leaf and placed it on the fridge with a magnet shaped like the number 3.
He couldn't have left the sewers any quicker after that. Hell, he didn't even consider to bring anything except his swords and wallet with him, worried they might track his phone.
____
Raphael fumbled to get the sewer lid off, his hands were shaking from the interaction with Leo. Sure Leo got mad, but Raph wasn't used to being yelled at by the turtle..well.. human now. Was he mad at Leo? Certainly. Who was he to say Donnie was just fine? Who was he to just.. let his emotions decide to make him stop caring about their brother?!
The manhole lid mad a loud bang, practically announcing the fact Raph could finally open the damn thing to the whole world. He knew that this was the manhole that brought him straight to a small pizzeria that was cheap and good, something that Raph could never find.
Fumbling for his wallet as he walked into the restaurant, he slowed down as he saw fuckass Casey Jones sitting at one of the tables. Immediately he wanted to turn around and just leave, but he didn't. He can be in the same space as the dude! Hell, he might not even recognize Raph!
But just as Raph was sitting down with his slices of pizza, he could hear Casey's footsteps coming his direction. "Please no.." Raph pleaded with whatever god there was in his mind, begging for Casey to walk away.
Nope, this disrespectful fuck sat down in front of him and started a conversation. Not even a hi or anything. "Dude.. what the fuck?" Raph cut Casey off from whatever he was about to say, watching as the dude just shrugged.
"Came to well.. check if your brother is okay."
Okay now Raph looks like an asshole. He was checking on Donnie and Raph got annoyed. But like.. he had the fact that Casey just SAT DOWN. Maybe he was locked away like Raph was and had no idea how to act too. "Oh.. sorry. It's been a hectic day. Like.. completely insane." Raph placed his elbow on the table and pressed his cheek into the palm of his hand while looking down at the pizza.
"I get you. Days are just like that sometimes." Casey nodded as Raphael slowly looked up at him before taking a bite of his pizza. "Like.. days where you see your sibling so.. vulnerable.. is just so horrible." Raph watched as Casey placed his own elbows on the table, raising his hands so his palms were shown, revealing calluses along his left hand.
"Yeah. It sucks." Raph mumbled, leaning back in his seat and looking to his left. "Sometimes I wish my brother could just deal with it. I mean.. he does—" Raph looked at his food, his mind filling as he realized how much he put onto Leo "—he does.. a lot. Like.. I make him do everything for the others." Wow he sounds like such an asshole.
"You've never helped?" Casey blinked before watching Raph tense up. "With Donnie I do.. but like— he's the leader! He should do the other stuff." Raph sighed and stood up, walking towards the trashcan and throwing his now empty plate out. "Dad always said the leader should do all that stuff."
Casey shook his head and crossed his arms as he leaned back. "That's dumb. Family looks out for family."
"I do! It's just.. I don't know when I'm expected to unless we're fighting. Like.. Leo literally is given every task." Raph motioned to the door, silently asking if Casey wanted to leave with him, which was met with a silent nod and Casey standing up to walk beside him.
The two ended up walking for about an hour, talking aimlessly as they found themselves talking about their families, superfly, and of course themself.
Raph never opened up and somehow he was admitting and saying things he didn't even know about himself.
"I'm just worried. Like.. now that this happened—" Raph looked down at his hands, opening and closing them "—Leo's been all 'ragh I'm so angry at you all!' It's weird. Like.. why?!" Raph put his hands in his pockets, turning to face Casey who seemed to be thinking hard on how to reply.
"Sorry. I'm dumping this all on you." Raph sighed and watched Casey shake his head. "No, no. It's fine. Life's tough dude. Especially when you're a mutant turtle suddenly turnt human." He gave a small smile to Raph, watching as he started to snicker.
When his laugh came to a stop, Raphael's voice came back softer. "Thanks man. I just.. I don't get any of it. Leo, Donnie, hell.. I don't get you! Why do you believe me? I could be lying straight to your face and you're just listening and being nice!" Raph's voice cracked, his eyes falling to the floor.
"Sometimes you just gotta believe, dude." Casey shrugged, the two slowly making their way into a random park and onto a bench. "I mean.. if you don't believe in something or well.. someone you never know what you'll lose until you might end up actually having to miss them." Casey's hands sat in his lap, his right thumb brushing against a yellow bracelet that definitely didn't match the rest of his outfit.
Suddenly silence became more evident as Raph stared at Casey. He had been cracking jokes and being so unserious that it seems like a switch just flipped. What just happened? The two held eye contact for a bit longer before Casey closed his eyes and sighed, leaning back on the bench.
"That was so poetic of me. I should be the next Shakespeare." Casey's eyes slowly opened, a smile finding itself on his face again as Raph struggled to react to the change in tone again.
"Do you.. want to talk about that?" Raph's voice cracked as he struggled to find the words, placing his hands in his lap as he watched Casey's face turn red. "No. No I- I don't need to."
"But do you want to?"
_____
The sound of Mikey walking through the sewers echoed throughout each turn. He lifted his left hand to feel the wall, his mind running the previous conversation over and over as if it was a broken record.
His walking slowed down as he leaned against the sewer wall, dragging his body down to sit, his tshirt that was now too big for his body slowly slipping off before being corrected to be over his shoulders again. Leo yelling was out of the ordinary and Mikey wasn't used to it.
As his knees curled up to his chest with his arms crossed overtop of them, Mikey leaned his head down and looked down the sewer towards their home, closing his eyes as he tried to imagine how today would be if Donnie hadn't gone to the TCRI remains.
They wouldn't be humans, Leo wouldn't be mad, and maybe Donnie wouldn't have taken that seizure.
His mind continued replaying everything over and over, the way Raph continued repeating to call dad, which he did, honest! It's not Mikey's fault he didn't pick up. Honestly, where was he? Wouldn't Splinter realize that his four sons were now human? He'll find out eventually at least.
A long sigh escaped Mikey as he turned his face to be pressed into his arms. The echo of someone else walking didn't even bother Mikey at all, if anything he hoped that whoever was walking would stop for him, which was instead met by the metal clank from the ladder the four used to leave echoing down the sewers.
Nobody came to him.
He was so far away from their home, why did he expect them to know where he was? Why did he think they'd find him?
Maybe he just wanted to know if they would try. At least he'd have the ability to say that, right?
"Maybe they're searching the surface." Mikey whispered, hoping to convince himself while trying to ignore the way the sewers wasn't full of sound, even if it practically punched him in the face.
God did Mikey hate the sewers when it was quiet. Sometimes it would force him to focus on his thoughts which always seemed to make him more anxious than usual. Then, the quiet might be followed by the gentle splash sound from a droplet coming out of a broken pipe above.
It was rhythmic in an annoying way. A drop echoing then silence, another drop, silence, two drops softly hitting back to back followed by a long pause. Mikey inhaled, his hands opening and closing as he put them through his hair. He released a long exhale as another drop mocked him, leaving just as he released the breath. His eyes went up, staring at the pipe like his mind could fix it psychonetically.
Nope. One gentle drop left the pipe and splashed anyways.