Chapter Text
Seth
Seth stood behind Horus’ throne as Isis and Maat entered Heliopolis amid much fanfare in the late morning. Both goddesses were carried on a litter and smiled and waved while humans in the gathered crowd cheered for them. Khnum had arranged for a group of musicians and dancers to perform during the entrance, which seemed to please Isis when she looked at them. Briefly, her eyes flitted to Seth, and he gazed back at her, impassively. But she eventually looked away, and he simply stayed where he was.
Horus sat tall in his throne, smiling softly and surveying the spectacle.
Seth had commented to Horus before this that perhaps he shouldn’t be there to greet Isis and Maat, since it might look weird to both the goddesses and the public.
Horus had replied, “The court has already seen you at my side. It would be strange if you weren’t there now, like I’m afraid and hiding you from Mother. You’re a war hero welcoming back Isis from the front. It’s fine.”
Seth breathed in deeply and settled himself, knowing he needed to just get through this. It’d be over soon enough. He glanced at Anubis and Khnum, who stood behind Horus’ throne on Horus’ right side, and were watching the entrance, as well.
Anubis’ expression was calm and unreadable, and he had his arm wrapped around Khnum’s back.
Seth looked away again. As long as they’re happy, he thought. He imagined if Horus were standing, he’d probably be all over Seth, too.
“But I couldn’t focus beyond the idea of you on my lap on the throne.”
Seth’s cheeks burned a little at the memory of Horus’ comment. Yes, it’s better that he’s sitting and I’m back here, he thought.
Thoth was a step below Horus, bristling to go to Maat’s side. He’d arrived the day before and explained to Horus that Maat had already spoken to him about what was going on. He glanced at Seth thoughtfully, and then away, clearly a little embarrassed.
Seth had been less than enthused over wondering just what Maat had said, but hadn’t brought it up. Thoth can imagine what he wants, Seth thought now, staring ahead. Even if I’d told him, ick, he’d probably imagine the worst. It’s not like we’ve ever been close.
Eventually all the gods got into the palace properly and left the humans to clean up. The gods walked together deeper into the palace, while servants bowed to them as they passed.
“We need to speak with Nephthys,” Isis said as she walked beside Horus, her expression cooler now that no one was watching her. She wore one of her fine dresses, heavy make-up, and sparkling jewelry, and her shoulders and gaze were determined. “Osiris has been too quiet after everything. We need to move things forward quickly.”
“We could schedule the trial within the next several days,” Maat noted from behind her. The goddess looked calm as he walked, with Thoth grinning happily at her side, but there was a firm look on Maat’s face. “A message will have to be sent to Duat. I’ve drawn up a list of his alleged crimes. If we give the other gods a little time to gather, we could wrap this up relatively quickly.”
“Assuming he doesn’t fight back,” Horus remarked coolly. “And he could refuse to appear.”
“Then we’ll just go to Duat to get him,” Maat commented. “His crimes have gone beyond the protection being in Duat gives him. And I have already sent messages to some of the gods there about this. We have allies.”
Seth thought that was one of the smarter things he’d heard in a while. He was slightly behind Horus on the opposite side of Isis, which put him uncomfortably close to Thoth, who was possibly clinging to Maat to offset it.
Horus led them to a meeting room with a large table and turned to Anubis. “Would you bring Nephthys here so we can talk? I’d rather not confront her in her rooms, or order guards to fetch her.”
Seth felt that was probably a lie, given Horus didn’t seem to think highly of Nephthys, but he appreciated that Horus was trying to be courteous to some degree. He even phrased it almost like a request rather than an order, Seth thought, which should hopefully keep Anubis from being too furious.
Anubis nodded and stepped out, with Khnum following.
Horus sat at the head of the table, with Seth at his left.
Isis sat on Horus’ right while frowning at Seth.
I don’t particularly want to be here either, Seth thought, while keeping his expression neutral and gazing blankly ahead. He was not looking forward to being around Nephthys again. But at least doing it a bunch of times gives me practice for the actual trial. But he had his doubts. He was used to trying something again and again, hoping for better results, given he’d spent hundreds of years drowning himself in alcohol, drugs, and slaughter, and ignoring his family while he hunted down Isis, as if that would solve every problem he had, when it never did. But at least it means I’m used to failing to get better, Seth thought, bitterly.
Maat set next to Isis, with Thoth on her right side, still smiling happily.
Isis looked at Horus, “Things seem to be going smoothly here. Nothing bad has come up in my absence?”
“I would have sent you a message about it if it had,” Horus said, a bit primly, as if Isis was criticizing him.
Then again, he’s probably still annoyed at her interfering in his efforts, Seth thought, watching them both. Horus hadn’t complained much about Isis lately. He’d focused on his work and being with Seth, which seemed to be an improvement. But now that Isis is here, that could change…
“How was your trip?” Thoth asked brightly, before the mood could grow more hostile.
“Uneventful,” Maat replied. “The Greeks are fully gone, and the army is in better order, which should help better prepare us for future threats.” She called a quill and parchment from the air and began writing on it. “But we’ll have to keep building up our defenses.” She didn’t look at Seth, but he could feel her pointed remark directed at him.
It’s not like I’m in charge of that, Seth thought. War hero or not, that’s Horus’ decision. He glanced at Horus, who had an unreadable expression.
Isis called a servant and had them bring her materials to write on as well. They came back right before Anubis stepped in with Nephthys on his arm. Isis dismissed the servant and gave Nephthys a dark look as she sat down near Anubis, and thankfully away from Seth.
“Thank you for coming, Nephthys,” Horus said, frostily. “Now that Isis and Maat are back, we need to properly prepare for the trial of Osiris.”
Nephthys looked paler than usual still, but nodded. She didn’t glance at Seth, which Seth appreciated. He gazed forward stonily.
Maat proceeded to ask Nephthys various questions about her relationship with Osiris, somewhat mimicking Horus’ questions, but with a greater focus on individual details. Maat wrote copious notes seemingly based on Nephthys’ responses.
Seth simply gazed ahead, glad that they didn’t really have to check anything with him. Nephthys’ recounting was little different than what he’d heard before, and anything new she offered wasn’t something he needed to verify. Maat’s scales will do a better job than I would on that, he thought. Unfortunately that made him think even more about the upcoming trial, and it took him an effort not to squirm in his chair.
After the questioning was completed, Isis said, “I’ll send out messages tonight. Maat, you’ll send for Osiris to appear?”
Maat nodded, organizing her notes.
Nephthys looked defeated, but stayed seated, with her eyes on the table.
“Then we will break for the day,” Isis said. “We’ll need our strength for this, and we’re running out of time to catch Osiris before he does something else, if he hasn’t already made another move.”
Anubis got up and pulled Nephthys to her feet before leading her out, with Khnum behind them.
Maat and Thoth rose and departed.
Horus stood up, and Seth rose to follow, but Isis put a hand up to Seth. “Seth, stay a moment. We need to talk.” She looked at Horus, who frowned at her. “Go on, Horus. I’ll speak with you afterward.”
Horus glanced at Seth, who shrugged. Then Horus walked out of the room.
Seth sat down properly and met Isis’ thoughtful gaze. He had some idea about what she might ask, but wasn’t planning to get ahead of her.
“How has Horus been?” Isis asked. “Has he returned to his old habits?”
“He’s been better even than he was before we left camp,” Seth replied. “And no, he hasn’t done what he used to. He’s focused on work, mostly.” There were still more visits to closets and a bit of time in Seth’s bed, but Horus was diligent in his duties when he needed to be. Seth hadn’t once been dragged to that windowless room, bound, or hit outside practice sparring, and Horus rarely managed to hit him there anyway.
“He keeps you at his side in public,” Isis said with a raised eyebrow. “Whose idea was that?”
“His,” Seth said with a grimace. “He said he wants to make it clear he’s not hiding me somewhere.” While Seth could understand the notion, he knew it still worried at least some of the humans. But people were generally happy with Horus’ reforms, so hopefully that was offsetting things. Seth imagined Isis saying that Seth was interfering with Horus’ work and should be sent away to the sun boat, but he didn’t feel they were at that point.
“And you would rather not be seen there?” Isis asked.
Seth sighed, dreading what she was getting to and how he’d deal with it. “I’d rather be sleeping. But it means I can hear what he’s up to, so it’s not a big deal. He seems to be managing things well. You should be proud.” Really, in better circumstances, he’d probably be talking up Horus’ achievements. He was a good statesman and listened well to his subjects. Diplomacy had never been Seth’s strong suit, but from what Seth observed, it was Horus’, at least when people who weren’t his family were involved.
Isis studied her notes, and her expression softened a bit. “I am proud. He has it in him to be a great king. Even better than his father.” She snorted. “Although that’s a low bar at this point.”
Seth smirked, fully agreeing. Being around Horus also highlighted the gap between them, which was reassuring on numerous fronts.
“And mentally?” Isis asked. “How has he been?”
Seth shrugged. “I think he’s still a bit conflicted about things. About what Osiris did. What you did. What I did. What he’s done. But he hasn’t allowed it to distract him too much. He does his duties, he’s fair to the humans and gods alike. He’s stable, in a way Osiris never was.” Particularly since I can see under the curtain in a way I almost never did with Osiris, Seth thought. He felt more and more that he’d failed his duties in protecting Egypt by not looking harder into Osiris’ actions and plans.
“He said he’s staying with you in your rooms,” Isis said. “In one of his letters.”
Seth’s cheeks warmed. “Really?” He regretted giving Horus his privacy in letter writing now. What has that horny idiot been saying?
“Is he not?” Isis asked.
“…He is. He has been since we got back here.” There was no point in lying about it.
“And what are your thoughts on that?” Isis’ voice was neutral.
Seth sighed and replied, “Evolving, maybe. Before, I found it frustrating, like he was never giving me a break. But in the wake of everything else… it’s a needed distraction. If I focus on him, I’m not focusing on Nephthys or Osiris or the damn trial.” He glanced at where Nephthys had been sitting. “It’s been good in that sense.” He wasn’t foolish enough to be unaware he was just grasping at anything that would get him out of his head. But Horus was fine with it, so did it really matter?
“But not in others?” Isis probed.
“You don’t want me to talk in detail how we spend time in bed, Isis,” Seth said with his own raised eyebrow. And he’d already shared a lot about his own thoughts on the matter.
Isis’ cheeks warmed. “If he were forcing you there, I might.”
“He’s not forcing me there,” Seth said, looking back at her with a firm expression, but grateful that his headdress made him look more confident than he felt. “I pulled him into it.”
Isis’ eyes widened at this. “You…? Really?”
Seth grimaced. “It was… an odd moment. I don’t know that it was the correct decision. But things have been peaceful because of it, I think. Or at least… they seem that way.” He didn’t know how to voice all his thoughts on the topic, or feel particularly comfortable telling them to Isis. But if he’d spoken to her properly before about Osiris, or even Nephthys, maybe things would have been different, so he felt like he needed to be clearer now, especially when she was so insistent. And this was Isis’ son they were discussing. Seth felt it was unfair to keep silent, and Horus had already apparently brought it up anyway.
“Does he have you do anything else other than keeping him company?” Isis finally asked after a bit of silence.
“We still spar,” Seth said. “And we discuss reports and his decisions. I don’t encourage him any particular way.” He was still worried she’d think he was influencing Horus on that front, but outside making sure Horus wasn’t being a tyrant, Seth largely left things alone, and given Horus didn’t exercise any such tendencies that Seth could see, that meant Seth mostly just observed things. “I think he just appreciated having someone to talk to in person in your absence. Now that you’re back, I imagine he’ll start talking to you more.” Or at least he hoped, anyway. “He’s always been talkative in that sense, though…” Even back when Seth had been bound, it seemed like Horus was always talking.
Isis smiled a little bitterly, which surprised Seth. “He wasn’t, really. He was a rather quiet child, probably because he knew he had to be.”
Seth’s eyes widened. He couldn’t imagine Horus keeping silent on just about anything, other than his relationship with Seth before it fully came out, mostly so he could keep carrying it out. Now… Horus was quieter on occasion, at least when Seth observed him with others. But he was still chatty.
“That he had to pick you to be the one to talk to…” Isis said with an exasperated sigh. She rubbed her eyes. “Well, at least he’s talking. And he’s working. He’s also going through work at what seems a more rapid pace than before, which seems an improvement.”
Seth nodded, unsure what else to do.
“If things change, you know you can reach out to me, right?” Isis asked, quietly, gazing at him sternly.
Seth smiled softly, feeling a little warm at the friendliness, and said, “Yes. Of course.” He wasn’t entirely sure, but she’d offered, so at least he’d heard it.
Isis nodded. “I don’t exactly approve of his relationship with you. After everything you’ve both done… It doesn’t sit well with me.”
Seth nodded, since it made perfect sense. He wondered if she’d put her foot down and end it then, even after everything. They could still focus on getting Horus away from being like Osiris, and Seth could still wrangle his way into staying here. But it would add more complexity to things.
He almost laughed as he thought, As if the situation between Horus and I isn’t already complex enough.
“But it’s your decision,” Isis continued, surprising him. “Horus is an adult, not a child. You’re an adult, and you’re hardly influencing him this way.” She sighed. “We’ll see how it goes.”
Seth simply nodded, surprised he felt a bit relieved at her comments. He frowned at that. What, was I actually worried she’d make me leave him? He thought. Why? Because it makes things simpler if she doesn’t? He didn’t think he was that lazy, but maybe he’d underestimated himself. Clearly Horus isn’t the only one who needs practice, he thought.
“Now I need to speak to him alone,” Isis said as she stood up. She gazed at him thoughtfully. “You were pale during Nephthys’ interrogation. How are you feeling?”
“…Better, I think,” Seth replied, embarrassed his feelings had been broadcast at all for others to see. His time with Horus had helped buffer him against it, a little, and Isis’ not precisely cold reception had even helped, too. He was a mix of things he’d likely have to think about. Or sleep off.
“Good,” she said, before walking out of the room.
Seth returned to his room when Isis pulled Horus aside, and then slept. He was far too weary after everything. He woke to Horus carding fingers through his hair. Horus’ headdress was gone and his blue eyes gazed thoughtfully into Seth’s red ones.
“Mother said she spoke to you about us,” Horus said. He was clearly curious, but leaving room for Seth to explain things.
“She did,” Seth said, not moving while Horus continued his ministrations. It wasn’t unpleasant. “We talked.”
“She said you’re still choosing to stay with me.” There was a little bit of hope in those words, and Seth felt… conflicted about it being there.
“I am,” Seth replied. It was still the best option, and it kept him from recalling the way Thoth and Maat had watched Nephthys intently while she talked about what she’d done with Osiris, or thinking about what they must think of Seth now. It kept him from thinking about what it was going to be like to stand up in court and say all that happened to him again, and to listen to it all again from Nephthys’ and perhaps even Osiris’ perspective. And just generally having to see Osiris again. The thought made him feel weak and pathetic, and he hated it.
Horus leaned down and pressed his lips to Seth’s.
Seth shut his eyes through the kiss, glad to be here and not screaming his head off about what was coming. Glad to know Anubis was safe somewhere in the palace with Khnum. Now that Isis was here, she would ensure that Osiris didn’t get to him.
Horus’ hand moved down Seth’s chest. His fingers pushed beneath Seth’s shendyt, teasing the base of Seth’s cock.
Seth moaned a little into Horus’ mouth. It was impossible to ignore the man. Isis didn’t necessarily approve of it, and Seth was glad in a way because it meant he wasn’t insane to have some hesitation of his own. But hesitation wasn’t enough to stop him leaning up into Horus’ fingers, because it felt nice, and was it bad to feel nice if it drowned out everything else? He couldn’t even feel Maat’s spell binding his powers when Horus was on him like this.
And Isis wasn’t furious at him again. She was letting Seth make his own choices, and letting Horus make his own choices. So they chose this, for better or worse. And…
Seth pushed Horus away and looked up into his blue eyes, wondering.
Horus frowned at him, but didn’t push back.
“You can see… something like the future, right?”
Horus raised an eyebrow. “Not exactly. That’s more Mother’s thing.”
“But you can see something, right?”
“…Yes.”
“What do you see for us? With this?”
Horus blinked. “What do you mean?”
“Do you see it ending well?” Seth never imagined a happy ending for himself, and he didn’t think that, regardless of Horus’ promises, they would be getting a happily ever after. Seth felt he was doing good here, but what if he was leading Horus down the wrong path, too? What if his own weakness was going to pull Horus in the wrong way? Seth was happy to let Horus guide things, but Horus relied on Seth for things, too.
Horus’ eyes widened. Then his gaze grew more distant. He was very still, which was a bit awkward given their positioning. But Seth waited. Eventually, Horus’ gaze came back, and he said, “I didn’t see much. But I don’t think you want the answer.”
Seth frowned. “Why?” He wasn’t ready to scream about people lying to him because they thought it was better or had machinations. He trusted Horus enough to know it was probably for a good reason. But it still stung a bit, and he wasn’t going to deny that.
Horus studied Seth’s gaze. “Because it will be another chain on you, whatever the answer, won’t it?”
Seth’s eyes widened in surprise.
Horus pulled his left hand up and rested it on Seth’s chest, his gaze thoughtful, and a little pained. “Osiris and I have both chained you, to keep you close to us. If I tell you we end up happily, you’ll… what? Stay with me? Because that’s what I said? But you’ll doubt me forever, thinking maybe I was lying in order to keep you close, no matter how much I tell you I’m being honest. If I tell you it doesn’t end well, then what? You’ll just get affirmation that being with someone who abused you is probably a bad idea, and you’ll go back to the self-hating cycle that brought you here in the first place.”
Seth sagged back on the bed, letting Horus go. He’s right, Seth thought. “That sounds a bit complicated…” He didn’t envy being able to see ahead like that, even if he sometimes thought it could be helpful.
Horus smiled. “Looking into the future in any form is.”
Seth snorted, having heard those words before. “You sound just like Isis.”
“Is that a bad thing?” Horus asked, still smiling softly.
Seth gazed at Horus thoughtfully. “No, that’s not a bad thing.” He thought about how they were clearly both aware of the tenuous nature of whatever this was between them. Isis was worried and rightfully so. Seth wondered when he’d decided to throw off the part of him that was afraid and furious. The part that would have ripped Horus to pieces given the chance. But being here now felt like coming up for air after nearly drowning during the first match of the trial. After dealing with Osiris on that horrible night, Seth had floundered for some purpose, some reason for himself, doubting everything he understood. Helping Horus improve was a challenge to his abilities and forced him back along familiar paths. He’d trained soldiers before, he’d won wars. Winning over Horus and making him the best king he could be was just another war of its own.
Seth really didn’t see as much of Osiris in Horus as he used to. It was still there in moments: the lust, the determination, the self-assurance, even sometimes in the ways they moved. Horus and Osiris were literally different beings, and so there were bound to be differences, regardless of how much physically was there, and how much Horus had learned from Osiris as a teacher. Seth also hadn’t known Horus as long as Osiris even if Seth had known Horus more intimately, but Seth knew enough of them both to know that Horus was walking his own path more and more as each day passed. Or perhaps Seth was more forgiving because Horus and Seth hadn’t had a deep bond to break like Osiris and Seth had, before Horus trampled all over Seth on the wings of Seth’s own actions against Horus.
Seth and Horus had both been cruel to each other, and then decided not to be. Horus was willing to meet him in the middle, both acknowledging what they’d put each other through. They weren’t ripping apart something old: they were building something new… but Seth wasn’t sure what, exactly. Seth saw Horus as a challenge, a curiosity, and a path to getting what he wanted and protecting those he cared about. But he had to be honest, too, like they both kept insisting. There was something so fragile in the soft look on Horus’ face, and Seth felt worried about how much power Seth held over that fragility. Whatever Horus saw, Seth didn’t know if it had given Horus confidence or simply more worry, but if Horus couldn’t be honest about it, it was up to Seth to be honest.
“I don’t love you,” Seth finally said, making Horus flinch. “I don’t know that I can. Maybe I even still hate you in a way. But I need you, in a way I can’t quite explain, either. Is that really going to be enough for you?” He breathed in deeply, watching Horus’ conflicted expression. “I know you want all of me.” Horus was like a sun, hot and life-giving, but burning anything in his path, too. And Seth felt the need to be scorched clean of everything repugnant he’d done in his life, but was Horus content to shine on so relatively little?
Horus sat up and gazed down at Seth for a while. The softness faded away, and his expression looked a bit worried. Finally he said, “I don’t expect you to love me. What we have here… It gets us through things. I promised you better than Nephthys, and I’m trying to provide that. Am I?”
“…Yes. Just by being honest.” Seth could feel the walls go up. He wasn’t sure if he’d made a mistake in this, but he had to be clear. I spent hundreds of years with someone who didn’t love me. I won’t do that to someone else. He wondered briefly if Horus would find someone else someday who’d make him happy. Someone who’d be a good consort. Something in his chest ached at the thought, and he wasn’t sure what to do about it.
Horus nodded. “Then we’ll work through the rest. Maybe we won’t last in the end. But we’re gods. We have time to figure it out.” He looked a bit depressed, still.
Seth’s heart burned a little at the look, almost like he felt bad for hurting Horus, which was odd in itself. He breathed in deeply and reached out to cup Horus’ cheek, making him face Seth. Seth smiled and said, “Yes, we do.” Then he pulled Horus in for a kiss.