Chapter Text
Seth
Seth didn’t know what to expect of sparring with Horus. He wondered if it would simply be a return to them fighting for supremacy during the trial, or another form of Seth trying to escape during his imprisonment. He’d seen Horus fight the Greeks and Osiris, and Seth knew Horus could be quite powerful in his own right.
Seth was still surprised to see a fuzzy mirror of Osiris. And not in a bad way. Where Osiris was wary and relied on his powers, Horus was swift and determined. He wasn’t overconfident, and paid attention when Seth dodged or knocked him aside. No wind appeared to knock Seth over and grab his khopesh from his hand or yank his khat. Horus focused on using his sword and dodging around.
They were some distance from the camp, on a stretch of sand where no humans would bother them, and where the noise of their fight wouldn’t wake any sleeping soldiers. What animals there were had fled from them. It was even farther from help for Seth, too, but it also meant no one was bothering them. Seth hoped Anubis was asleep or just focusing on his own training.
Seth thought he’d be too tired for this, perhaps even to the point of collapse, or be too anxious fighting Horus and thus make mistakes. But there was something strangely calming about the knowledge that Horus had agreed to this as a form of relaxation. That Horus hadn’t just jumped into more torture or more difficult conversations. There was no taunting, either. No extra invasive touches. Just the sound of grunts, clanging metal, and bare feet racing across sand.
When Seth shoved Horus a short distance away, Horus stood up slowly and asked Seth, “Can you tell me what I’m doing wrong?”
Seth blinked and stood up properly, then walked over. Quietly, he started giving Horus pointers, and even demonstrated some of them.
Horus simply listened, and his eyes followed when Seth used his hands or gestures to indicate something specific. Then they’d take up arms again and fight once more.
It reminded Seth of training with Anubis, and a part of him ached at the memory.
Seth thought that perhaps someone else would think he was a fool for this: making his enemy stronger. It meant that if Seth wanted to try to escape again at some point, Horus would be even better at stopping him. But Horus was already good at stopping him. Making sure he wasn’t as bad at fighting wouldn’t change that.
Eventually, Horus called a halt, and they returned to Horus’ tent, where Horus left Seth to sleep alone on the cot, while Horus returned to his writing. The air between them was less tense, and Seth thought he might be able to sleep.
As Seth lay on the cot, staring at the tent ceiling, truly weary, he heard a soft voice say, “Thank you.”
Seth’s lips quirked, and finally he said, “You’re welcome.”
In about a week, the Greeks fully cleaned up their camp, carrying their remaining injured onto their ships. There were no major issues. The Egyptian commanders kept the troops in order. Osiris didn’t attack them again, that any of the gods could spot.
Seth and Horus sparred every day, sometimes in the camp where the soldiers could see, to boost morale. Judging by the cheering, Seth felt it was working. And Horus was improving incrementally, which was a good sign.
Anubis met with Seth every morning to check on him. And Seth would pull him aside when he glared too much at Horus. Anubis would report on his progress: he was doing well with his powers, and Khnum, ever at his side, was happy to report on that as well.
“He has excellent control,” Khnum said to Seth one day, when the three of them were standing outside Horus’ tent while Horus and Maat discussed something a short distance away. The Greek ships had already started leaving the shore, and the Egyptian gods were planning to depart in a few days, as well. “Phenomenal, for a god so new.”
“I have a good teacher,” Anubis said, smiling down at Khnum, who smiled back at him. Anubis reached out and rested his left hand on Khnum’s right shoulder.
Seth glanced between them, glad to see they were getting along, but a bit confused at the closeness.
“Khnum,” Isis said as she walked over. She wore a fine dress and much jewelry as usual, and had the leader of the healer tents at her side. “I need you.”
“Excuse me,” Khnum said to Seth. He smiled at Anubis before departing.
Anubis watched Khnum leave.
“You’re very close with Khnum,” Seth said as he studied Anubis’ expression.
“He’s very kind,” Anubis said, still staring after where Isis and Khnum were walking away. He looked at Seth and smiled. “I like him.”
“That’s good,” Seth said. “It’s good to have allies.” Perhaps, with time, he could be encouraged to work with Horus, especially given Khnum was Isis’ servant.
Anubis nodded. “How did you first court Mother?”
“…What?!” Seth asked, almost forgetting to keep his voice down.
Horus looked at him with a frown.
“When you first courted Mother, how did you do it?” Anubis asked again, as if the issue was that Seth hadn’t heard him. “I was curious.”
“I… Why are curious about this?” Seth remembered those early days of his cautiously approaching Nephthys, unsure how to make his feelings clear. She was so beautiful, powerful, and wise. Everything he knew seemed so blunt and harsh by comparison. And the concept was ridiculous: a god of war trying to make love to a goddess of peace? It made no sense.
“I’m a god now,” Anubis said matter-of-factly. “It makes sense for me to consider my own partnerships.”
Seth supposed that was logical, but Anubis was leaping ahead on a lot, and perhaps trying to follow in his old habits of imitating Seth in particular. “You don’t have to mimic us, though. You can make your own path.” Seth grimaced. “In fact you really shouldn’t mimic us, all things considered.” What with Nephthys and Seth’s disastrous marriage, and Isis and Osiris… Not that he felt Anubis would fall for the same tricks, but Anubis had been entranced by Osiris’ kindness, in a way somewhat similar to how Seth had been entranced by Nephthys.
Seth wondered if Horus wasn’t the only one who needed advice on what to change… Though at least Anubis had Khnum teaching him now, not Seth. But Seth wasn’t sure he was happy about how close Anubis and Khnum were.
“I don’t plan to mimic you,” Anubis said, surprising Seth. “I mostly wanted to ensure I’m not screwing things up. And I know Khnum is already open to my advances anyway.”
“…What?!” Seth wondered just what Khnum’s lessons entailed. Would he have to find Khnum and demand more answers from him? Would Isis reverse her change of heart over it? Should she be the one doing this? I’m really not the best person to give advice about this kind of thing… His thoughts went to Nephthys, wondering if, even after everything, this was meant to be her job… And how he actually preferred Anubis not asking for her help.
“I just wondered in case there was something else I should be doing,” Anubis said, still seemingly unfazed by Seth’s alarm.
“You want to… court Khnum?!” Seth kept his voice low. “But you haven’t known each other that long!”
“We’re gods,” Anubis said with a slight shrug. “We have the rest of eternity to get to know each other better, don’t we?”
“Then why are you rushing?” Seth demanded.
“Did you take your time when you were courting Mother?” Anubis asked.
Seth grimaced, thinking back to his desperation when he’d courted Nephthys. He’d hoped for more kind looks from her, for more moments where she just saw him and not humans or Osiris or Isis. Every moment his skin had been on fire, begging for her notice. It seemed so alien to him now, the idea that he might live or die without one more of her gentle smiles. In the hundreds of years since he’d discovered her true desires, he’d walled himself off from that part of himself. He let the embarrassment of his foolishness drown him. And even when he still felt that need for her approval, he’d cut himself off even further. She didn’t want him, and never had, and he was an idiot to keep believing she might. Now all he felt was ambivalence.
No, Seth didn’t want Anubis to follow in Seth’s footsteps, even if Anubis was even more inexperienced. “Perhaps if I’d spent more time thinking things over… much would have been different,” Seth cautioned Anubis. “Maybe… Maybe your mother would have been more honest with her own feelings.” It was something he’d wondered for a while. He ignored Osiris’ insinuation that it was his influence that had brought about Nephthys’ affections. But even then, Seth wondered if Seth pushed Nephthys too hard? Was that why she’d agreed to be his wife and bear a child for him? Perhaps if he’d just stayed as Nephthys’ friend, she could have talked to him about her feelings for Osiris, and they could have worked things out. Maybe even just have a stronger friendship, instead of what they had now: never speaking to each other except to argue, both imprisoned by guilt of their own design.
“But would that have changed Osiris?” Anubis asked, his expression more serious. “It seems like he just took advantage of Mother’s feelings for him to get to you.”
Seth smiled ruefully, thinking that perhaps he was worrying too much when Anubis was already so wise. “You’re probably right.” Even if Seth hadn’t lost Nephthys, Osiris might have just bided his time for some other opportunity. But at least Seth wouldn’t have had the pain of knowing he’d been twice a fool. He wouldn’t have been mistaken that he could be loved.
“Khnum isn’t like that,” Anubis said, oblivious to the whirlwind within Seth’s heart. “He’s sweet and gentle. And when I peer into his soul…” Anubis smiled satisfactorily. “Well… I know he thinks of me, too.”
“You peer into his soul?” Seth asked, confused.
“It’s an ability I have,” Anubis said. “It’s not exactly telepathy. But it connects to the soul. We didn’t want to test it on too many people at once when I learned about it and wasn’t skilled at it, in case it backfired, so Khnum let me test it on him.” Anubis’ grin was back. “It’s one reason I know I want to court him.”
Seth was almost curious about what exactly Anubis saw in Khnum’s soul, but given the smile on Anubis’ face, he wondered if it would be best to just… not ask. Perhaps Anubis got confused sometimes on who to trust and why, but peering into another god’s soul and seeing their desires… It was definitely one way to learn some truth about them. Somewhat similar to Maat’s scales, but more direct, without allowing for someone like Osiris to wiggle his way out of things. “You really trust him so much already?”
“Yes,” Anubis said, firmly.
“Are you sure it’s not just…?” Seth winced. “Proximity? Or… maybe part of the magic you’re using?” What if Anubis just felt connected deeply with anyone whose soul he connected with?”
Anubis shook his head. “I’ve tried it on a couple soldiers, since getting a handle of it with Khnum. I don’t feel the same when it’s them.” Anubis quirked his head. “I liked Khnum before I looked into his soul. Seeing into him just confirmed for me that when he says he feels similarly, he is being honest.”
Seth put up a hand to stop him. “Okay. I believe you. I just… I worry. I don’t want you to end up hurt, that’s all.” I don’t want you to make the same mistakes I did. That Isis did. “I want you to find happiness.” But if Anubis and Khnum were already talking with each other about it then… clearly they had things handled. And like Anubis said, they had eternity. If things ended then… things ended. Seth was certainly the wrong person to try to steer someone’s heart in such matters.
Anubis reached out and grasped Seth’s upper left arm. “I know.” He smiled down at Seth. “And I’m glad you care enough to tell me, too.”
“I don’t want to control your life,” Seth said. “I don’t… That’s never what I wanted.” He didn’t want Anubis to feel constrained by him. He liked the way they could be together like this, just two gods who cared for each other, and supported each other. Anubis seemed happier than Seth had seen him in years.
“You just didn’t want me to turn into a god of war,” Anubis said. There was some frustration in his voice. His old, childish wishes made manifest. He’d loved his father so much, and always wanted to follow in Seth’s footsteps.
Seth winced. “Yes. If I could stop that… It’s a hard thing to be.” He wanted Anubis to be someone who could be loved. Someone like Nephthys: beautiful, wise, and powerful, who was welcomed wherever she went. And Anubis at least, to some degree, had that, even if Horus hated him. Isis cared for him. Khnum cared for him. Maat trusted him. Anubis was confidant and content, and Osiris hadn’t come back for him. Perhaps things would be okay for him.
“I’m something different already,” Anubis said. “Than both you and Mother. And even than Osiris.” He clasped his left hand into a fist. “I’ll forge my own path. Though I appreciate all the guidance I can get.” He smiled at Seth. “Especially if it means we can talk.”
Seth wasn’t used to hope. But he felt some of it welling in his heart.
“And it means I can stand up to that asshole,” Anubis said, glaring at Horus.
Seth laughed. “Anubis, he’s your king.” Perhaps the path ahead would be easier than he thought, but not all easy.
“You killed Osiris,” Anubis said. “Being a king is immaterial.”
Seth felt a slight chill at that. “Horus is not Osiris. He’s not perfect. He has work to do. But I think he can improve.” Seth knew it. He’d seen it. It was slow, and it was still somewhat worrying. But it was possible.
“Are you on his side now?” Anubis asked with a frown. “He abused you.”
“I’m not on his side,” Seth said, feeling his cheeks warm. “And I know what he did. I’ll never forget any of it.” He breathed in deeply. “And I’m on your side. Which will not be helped by killing another king. Even assuming you’d be able to.” When Anubis didn’t look discouraged in the slightest, Seth continued, “You may be full of yourself with your power now, Anubis, and it’s true that you are very obviously powerful.” He could feel it, even standing here, before Anubis had touched him. “But Horus is smart and creative. He has Isis’ support, and Maat’s support. He has all the other gods on his side. You can’t backstab him in the way you did me.”
Anubis’ lips parted, and Seth knew he’d struck hard on that.
“He suspects you too much for being my son, working for Osiris, and your constant threats to him,” Seth said. “Not to mention he knows you have a past of betraying people.”
“Father, I…” Anubis was clearly struggling to find the right words to reply.
Seth smiled, knowing he’d gotten something through to Anubis, at least. Though he didn’t expect much beyond Anubis just… not attacking Horus. “I don’t expect you to apologize for what you did. I told you, you can kill me if you wish. I understand.”
Anubis bowed his head, clearly pained.
Seth felt something burn his chest at the movement. He raised his left hand up and lightly touched Anubis’ chin. “You’re my son. You’re doing amazing. You’re going to go so far. And I’m proud of you. If you can push past what I’ve done to you, then I can push past what you’ve done to me. Okay?”
After a moment, Anubis nodded.
Seth lowered his hand, and then smiled. “It’s a bit foolish to get advice from me on romance, anyway. It’s not like your mother ever really loved me that way. Likely all my stumbling around accomplished nothing. Why she agreed to marry me… I have no idea.” And would he find out at last once they returned to Heliopolis and questioned her? The thought was terrifying.
After a moment, Anubis said, “It’s not like there are many people I can ask for advice from. Isis was fooled by Osiris as much as you were. Khnum’s never been with anyone before. And Maat doesn’t talk about what Thoth did to court her.”
Seth supposed Anubis had a point there. Anubis was definitely serious about all this.
“And Horus…” Anubis scoffed. “Maybe he’s not Osiris. But he’s a monster all the same.”
Seth thought of all the faraway looks he’d seen on Horus’ face. The disconnection between Horus and his family. The loss of people he’d trusted. The increased isolation as other gods became more wary of him. It seemed they all saw a new Osiris in him. Or a new Seth. Who Horus ultimately turned out to be, perhaps none of them knew, but they wouldn’t let the mistakes of the past repeat themselves.
Seth recalled how much training with Horus felt like sparring with Anubis. He thought of how much Osiris had stolen from them all, given Seth would have trained Horus if he’d been raised in Heliopolis. How, even now, Horus sought pointers from him. Horus was keeping a distance, listening to advice, even if he kept careful boundaries between himself and others. And even know, he listened to Maat, giving Seth and Anubis their space.
“He’s done monstrous things,” Seth said, carefully. “But so have I.” He remembered his cruelty to Anubis and Isis too much to know otherwise.
Anubis grimaced.
“And if I can be forgiven for anything,” Seth said, “If I can change…” He looked up at Anubis, searching for answers he wasn’t sure he’d find. “If you want me to believe that I have some kind of future? Then I have to believe he has one, too.”