Chapter Text
Seth
Seth knew he liked to sleep but he’d never felt so drained as when he, Isis, Maat, Horus, and Anubis finished their discussion for the trial concerning Osiris, and what they planned to do if Osiris refused to attend his trial and stayed holed up in Duat. Maat grilled them all for more information in preparation for the trial itself, and although Seth felt scoured after explaining things in what he felt like were too much detail, at least he wasn’t alone. Although the feeling of everyone’s eyes on him as he talked through a whittled down version of his encounter with Osiris on the night of usurpation burned. He hoped by the time they got to the actual trial, he would be entirely numb to saying it.
And who knows what Nephthys will contribute, Seth thought glumly as Maat listened to Isis’ comments. He didn’t want to think of Nephthys much, but his thoughts were ever more drawn to her today and what she might have to offer. He’d ignored her for so long because of his own embarrassment and pain. Would she cooperate?
He pursed his lips and imagined that Anubis might have to convince her.
Throughout the discussion, Horus and Anubis remained semi-civil, which was probably helped by the fact that he and Horus were separated from each other by Seth. Seth had tried not to stare too much at Anubis in his god form, still shocked at Anubis’ transformation, since he looked tall, handsome, and impressive in a way that Seth hadn’t imagined. Anubis for his part looked calm and collected, and listened thoughtfully to whoever was speaking, though he glared a bit whenever Horus spoke up.
Nephthys should be proud, Seth thought. He had no hope that Osiris would be, given Osiris’ treatment of Anubis in the past. Seth hoped Anubis wasn’t hurt overmuch by that. He was so rightfully angry about everything he’d learned. But he kept referring to Seth as his father, and that warmed Seth’s heart.
When the sun rose, the consensus was: they needed Nephthys to learn more about what had happened with Osiris, and they needed to see how amenable Osiris was to coming of his own volition to the trial. On this matter, Maat was adamant.
“He needs to be given the opportunity to confess and submit,” Maat said. She looked unhappy but continued, “As the ruler of Duat, he’s not exactly in my jurisdiction, and so putting him on trial is tricky. If he submits voluntarily, this will all be easier, and there will be no forced travel to Duat.” She gazed at Seth, who didn’t hide his frown at this. “And you will be weaker there, even without my spell on you, so simply fighting him outright just isn’t the answer yet. Trying to go for the trial first will hopefully avoid outright war.”
“Arguing gets us nowhere,” Isis said, before Seth could say anything. “We’ll leave once the Greeks are gone, and things will progress from there.” She looked to the sunlight peeking in through the tent flaps. Then she rubbed her eyes, clearly weary. “Let’s all get some rest. The soldiers mostly have everything taken care of anyway.” She looked at Anubis. “Continue your training with Khnum after you rest. You will likely be crucial in whatever awaits us at Heliopolis and, perhaps, in Duat.”
Anubis smiled, and Seth tried not to be frustrated. He didn’t want to throw Anubis into the fire. Anubis always wanted to be useful, to be part of things. But this was so much at once…
Horus stood, looking tall and superior before them all. He’d listened to Seth’s discussion of events with an unreadable expression and little reaction, other than a vague kind of anger, and Seth couldn’t tell at what. “Very well. We’ll break for now.” He looked at Seth. “Come.” Then he headed to the tent flap.
Isis frowned, and Seth knew she was going to say something.
“He’s not your pet,” Anubis said, beating Isis to the punch and standing to face Horus with an angry expression on his face. “You will treat him with respect.”
I’m his prisoner, Seth thought, unsure what to say aloud. He doesn’t have to treat me with any respect. He wanted to laugh, because it felt like he was defending Horus. But he was just being honest.
Horus paused by the tent flap and turned to gaze back at the group, his expression neutral. Then he looked at Seth. “Your cot is in my tent. Where else are you going to rest, particularly considering Anubis destroyed his own tent?”
Anubis glowered.
I wasn’t aware the cot was mine, Seth thought bitterly. But he wanted Horus and Anubis away from each other, and he didn’t want more questions Isis or Maat about what they’d heard, let alone from Anubis, who’d heard more than Seth had told him earlier. And Seth needed to figure out what Horus was like now. A Horus who was nervous, nearly apologetic, who gave reassurances, who backed down? Would he turn into a monster in private again? Or be something else?
Seth smiled at Anubis and patted his right shoulder. “It’s all right. Get some sleep. Work with Khnum. I’ll check in with you later.” Seth knew he was pushing things, given his status as a prisoner, but he needed to say something to deal with the tension.
Anubis frowned, but then nodded. “All right, Father. I’m here if you need me.”
I’m still being punished, Seth thought, following after Horus and out of the tent. It’s not like I can take breaks as I please. The soldiers stood at attention in his presence, saying nothing as they passed. The morning sun was warm on his back. Nothing has really changed. Isis still agreed on that front, anyway, just not so much how Seth was being punished. And he got that. It was still hard to walk back to Horus’ tent, following the taller god, knowing Seth was getting farther from the people who could help him in a pinch, but Seth had gone to Osiris alone. Seth had faced everything alone for hundreds of years. He had survived Horus thus far, and would do so in future.
Inside the tent, everything was quiet, and just like they’d left it before heading off to the battle with Osiris. Horus’ desk was covered in scrolls he had to attend to. His cot was made. There was a torch for a little bit of extra light.
Seth wondered if Horus had gotten any proper rest since they’d left. He was a god, he didn’t need it, but perhaps that was part of why he was acting so strange and disorganized.
“You’re staying with me,” Horus said, turning to face Seth, his expression neutral. “You could shelter under Mother’s wings, but you chose not to.” There was a question there.
“I already told you,” Seth said, facing Horus squarely. “I don’t want you to turn into someone like Osiris any more than you do.” Even if you already are like him in so many ways.
“And you think finally listening to me will really make a difference?” Horus scoffed. “What a change of heart, given how much you hate doing that.”
“It’s different when you don’t just see me as your fucktoy,” Seth said. “And listening doesn’t just mean I’ll follow your commands. Telling me which hole to bare to you only makes you more like your father, not less.”
Horus scowled.
“Are we still enemies, then?” Seth asked, truly curious. “I don’t think you want me as your enemy anymore, do you? That’s why you took the cock ring off. You don’t see the point of it either.” He didn’t think that Horus had met whatever punishment quota he’d prepared for Seth, at least not to make up for all the years of pain Horus had apparently gone through. But Horus was already changing things in significant ways.
“I took the cock ring off because it wasn’t necessary,” Horus said, stepping a little closer to gaze down at Seth imperiously. “That doesn’t mean we’re not enemies.”
“Are you going to put it back on then?” Seth challenged. “Or have you come up with something worse to try?” He’d survived wearing it, and Horus’ other tortures. This was for Anubis, and to avoid having two of Osiris in the world. One was bad enough. Seth could withstand anything with those goals in mind.
For a while Horus stared at him, unmoving.
Seth wondered if Horus had even heard him. Was he wrapped up in his ridiculous sexual fantasies again?
Finally, Horus snorted and said, “No, I’m not going to put the cockring back on you. And I don’t have anything worse planned.” He turned and waved towards the cot. “Sleep or continue to stand there glaring at me. I don’t care.” He went to the never-ending pile of papers on his desk and sat in the chair.
Seth was surprised Horus backed off so easily, but it also gave him some hope that there was a point to this experiment. He walked over to the cot, wondering if he should trust this at all. Horus had done many terrible things while Seth was asleep. But would he risk it now, knowing Seth had Isis and Anubis on his side to some extent? Should Seth believe him?
Horus had his back to Seth, as he often had. He wasn’t afraid in the slightest.
Seth didn’t know how open Horus was to listening to him in turn, even after all the listening he’d done during the discussion. But he felt leaving things on that note was bad. So he said, “I meant it. I’d listen to you.” He breathed in deeply. “If you really feel that I’m the only one standing with you in your loneliness… then I’ll listen.” It felt ridiculous. He was no one’s confidante. He was a soldier or a general. If he wasn’t cutting something down with a sword or planning military strategy… Well, he’d already failed to raise one son well. How could he ever think he’d help with Horus?
“Osiris tormented you,” Horus said, glancing over his shoulder at Seth with an unreadable expression. “He’s been your brother your entire long life. You served under him. Worked alongside him. If he were standing before you today, would you still offer to listen to him to try to change him?”
Seth winced, and felt disturbed by the mere thought. “No. Osiris has made his thoughts and position quite clear in that regard.” If Osiris ever changed, Seth wasn’t going to be in charge of it, and he only wanted the other god as far from him and Anubis as possible.
“So why bother with me?” Horus smiled slightly. “I’ve done worse than he has.”
“No, that’s not why I’m doing this,” Seth said, though it grated on him to admit it, since Horus was partially correct. “The delusion Osiris operates under is that he understands my feelings better than I do, and that he can force me to care for him. You were under the delusion that I was your father’s murderer, and you have used that to add to working through your righteous anger against me.” Perhaps, at the end of the day, Seth was just making excuses, and the differences between father and son were trivial. But perhaps after talking with Isis more, seeing how far Anubis had come, and hearing bits of Horus he hadn’t seen before had made part of Seth look at Horus and see the child of Isis and a cracked version of how Anubis might have lived, and a protective urge in him was rising in Seth for that. Perhaps Seth thought about how Horus might have lived if he’d been raised in Heliopolis.
Perhaps I’m just foolishly trying to change the past, he thought. He knew there was no going back. There was only going forward.
Horus tilted his head. “Righteous?”
“Perhaps I don’t fully understand your love of the humans,” Seth said. “They are mortal, their lives are fleeting, they are meant to serve us. But I can understand that my actions injured you personally. I can see a desire for revenge there. And revenge like that… I understand.” Certainly he understood after dealing with Osiris, Isis, Nephthys, and Horus himself. He didn’t begrudge Horus his fury, precisely, even as he hated Horus for everything Horus had done to Seth himself, and might do in future. But nothing was accomplished by staying enemies. By simply hating each other into eternity. It was only Horus’ territoriality that kept Seth out of Duat now. Plus, there were other considerations. “And you took the cockring off of your own volition. I didn’t force it off, and Isis, Maat, and Anubis didn’t force you, either. You left me with Anubis, to spend time with him, despite your comments that I wouldn’t be allowed such things.” True, part of that was to spy, but… There was something there. It wasn’t just Seth’s imagination.
“Maybe it was to torment you more,” Horus said, a dangerous lilt in his voice. But Seth could see through him now. Horus was trying to be evasive.
“I imagine it was in a way,” Seth acknowledged. “But you could have done that by leaving the ring on. You didn’t have to keep such a distance from me all this time. You didn’t have to give me time alone with Anubis. You didn’t have to talk to me like…” He frowned. “Like you did before.”
“If I’m not honest with you, I have no one else to be honest with.”
Horus sighed and faced away. “I was overly casual. It won’t happen again.”
“…I don’t mind if it does,” Seth said, and he was being truthful. So much had changed in the span of little more than a day. Isis and Anubis were talking to him. There was the thought of Osiris facing some justice for his crimes, even as Seth hated to think of them. And perhaps his punishment wouldn’t be as bleak as he’d imagined it. And much of that rested on Horus cooperating, which involved Seth learning what he needed most, besides a cockwarmer. “It was the most honest you’ve been in the entire time we’ve known each other.” At least without causing me pain, I suppose.
Beneath all Seth’s doubts about Horus simply making another trap of some kind, Seth had the sense that there had been something real in Horus’ openness. Horus was still a young king, and a young general, with all the issues that entailed. And everything he built was starting to crumble around him, seemingly faster than he’d realized when he’d built up his house of lies. He should have been celebrating his win against the Greeks… Instead, his mother was not on his side, his half-brother was coming into his prime, his father tried to murder him, and Seth was leaving his control. It was a dangerous mindset to be in. And pushing him further into that sense of instability was even more dangerous. But Horus wasn’t attacking anyone, even Seth. He just sat at his desk and gazed thoughtfully at his uncle. He was still ready to fight Anubis, but he’d shown restraint when others stepped in. He wasn’t unhinged in the way that Osiris was, unwilling to see any reason at all. There was hope. And if Seth could ensure that Egypt had a saner king, it meant that Anubis would be better off, and have a firmer bulwark against Osiris.
That was worth whatever danger Seth faced in the meanwhile.
“I was glad when you chose to stay with me,” Horus said.
Seth blinked, surprised.
“Not that you had a choice, I guess,” Horus continued. “You’re still my prisoner. But I was glad you decided that.”
Seth wasn’t sure how he felt about that. There was still that obsession of Horus’, deep down. Seth could exploit it, but only so far. Just because his body responded to Horus didn’t mean he wanted Horus. But knowing Horus was still emotionally attached to him, and not just thinking through his cock… That was useful.
“I don’t know that I can trust the part of me that finds comfort in you,” Horus said. “That part of me is like an animal, lusting after you. He doesn’t think properly. He doesn’t plan right.”
Well they say self-awareness is useful, Seth thought. “You don’t want to trust me, either,” Seth said. “That makes sense. We’ve been enemies for hundreds of years, and you blame me for everything that’s gone wrong in your life.”
“Regardless of what happened with Osiris and Mother’s assumptions, you are to blame for much of it,” Horus noted.
Seth simply gazed back. He wasn’t disputing that.
“But beyond that, I want to own you completely,” Horus said. “That’s not the same as trust.”
Seth felt a shiver at those words. It was so like Osiris. Yet Horus still sat at his desk, away from the cot. He could use his powers if he wanted, but he hadn’t.
“That part thinks that trust is the easy way to the goal of ownership,” Horus said. “That I can pretend to find my way into your bed again. That letting my guard down is an easy sacrifice for the sake of this greater purpose.” Horus shook his head. “I don’t know. It’s all a mess…” He sounded frustrated.
Seth studied Horus for a while, unsure what to say. He thought of Osiris, and his strange feelings, forcing them so hard on Seth. Horus, by comparison, knew what he wanted, and he’d spent some time forcing them on Seth, but now, with the knowledge that Seth wasn’t as guilty as he’d seemed, Horus seemed… afraid.
Seth stilled at the thought, realizing things were far more dangerous than he thought, in a way. A god who was afraid was a terrible thing. Seth had fought Ra and seen Osiris and Isis’ fears. Seth had lived as a fearful god for hundreds of years, worried Osiris might come back somehow, or that he wasn’t as strong as he believed. He knew what fearful gods were capable of. Or at least he knew other gods. Horus’ powers were partially untested. It was one reason what he’d suggested to Isis had been so important. They needed to get Horus stabilized, or they’d all suffer.
When Seth had been frustrated, he’d turned to drugs and alcohol, which were always a bad idea. He needed to start somewhere, though, so he did what he’d do in preparation for any war: he tried to get more information. “Before you caught me,” Seth said, quietly, “was there something you did that helped you relax?” He hoped Horus would understand Seth meant something other than “fantasize about fucking Seth.” If he was calmer, things would be easier, and Seth felt that just leaving him alone while Seth took a nap would be insufficient. They'd have to go back out at some point.
Horus thought for a while, which Seth was surprised about. He worried Horus would be too distracted in his confusion. “Sometimes I’d read the scrolls my mother found for me. Or do practice sparring.” He smiled. "When I was a demigod, it used to at least tire me out, or get me to focus a bit more."
Sparring practice was something Seth could work with. He’d done that with Anubis when Anubis was younger. “And what do you feel like doing now?”
“None of the soldiers here are strong enough for me to spar with,” Horus said.
“…I’ll spar with you.”
Horus raised an eyebrow at Seth. “You’re not serious.”
“If it will help you relax, then we’ll do it. It’s not like I can win, anyway.” And it was better than trying to fuck Horus’ problems away. Seth was a warrior. This came easily to him.
Horus stared at him, and in that look, Seth thought he saw… wonder? “All right.”