Chapter Text
Horus
Horus didn’t feel ice in his heart as he walked to the tent where Maat and Isis were negotiating for the end to the short war with the Greeks. Horus was the ruler of Egypt, beloved by his one of the most powerful gods – Isis – and powerful his own right, and he had one of the most powerful gods collared beneath him whenever he wished, figuratively and literally.
But seeing Seth holding Anubis… something in Horus had snapped. He could never recall Osiris ever holding him like that, and whenever Isis had held him in such a fashion, she’d only whispered about vengeance, or apologized for how little she could offer him. The dissonance and similarities were both things he didn’t want to think about.
Horus pushed open the tent flap and everyone inside looked at him. It had grown dark, and the tent was filled with torches, highlighting the large table covered with drinks and food. Maat stood beside Isis, across from the Greek god whom Horus had dealt with before, who raised his eyebrows at the sight of Horus now. Even having lost to Egypt’s forces, the man didn’t look afraid or worried.
He even smirked.
Horus wanted to strangle the Greek where he stood, but Horus knew that wasn’t a good idea. Perhaps the Greek had held Seth off temporarily, but that was all. It wasn’t a defeat. Only Horus was allowed to defeat Seth. And he didn’t use tricks like poison or attacking while his enemy was partially disabled with a spell to do it.
Horus plastered a half-smile on his features as he walked to Isis and Maat.
Isis kept her expression nearly as neutral as Maat’s, but when her eyes met Horus’, he could see some of her worry. She was still thinking about what they’d learned from Osiris and Seth and Horus’ intuition. What Horus had learned from her.
Given what he’d heard from Anubis, Horus wondered if Isis was hiding anything else. She was the god of magic and a strategist, doubtless there was much more.
“I’m just checking in to see how things are going,” Horus said quietly, coming to stand beside her. He knew the firelight made him look more intimidating, and he hoped the Greek was offput by it. The Greek was already an idiot to not bring more people with him.
“We’re finishing up for the day,” Maat said, nodding to their Greek counterpart. “The Greeks will prepare to depart tonight.”
“Good,” Horus said, now keeping his eyes on the smirking god, who seemed to be unaffected by this. He’d be happy to be rid of all this, and able to return to Heliopolis. With Osiris lurking, they were too exposed. “The sooner we can all return to our lives, the better.”
“I must compliment you,” the Greek said, smiling still at Horus. “You showed great power on the field of battle. Egypt is led by intimidating gods.”
I don’t need your compliments, Horus thought. This man had been chosen because Horus was too weak to fight Seth in Isis’ eyes, once upon a time. And now he’d been defeated by Horus’ forces. But Horus said nothing. He didn’t want to ignite a new war.
“I think your people will be in need of their leader,” Maat said as the silence began to stretch a bit too long. “You’ll not be harassed, so long as you stick to the terms of the contract.”
The Greek bowed his head. “Of course.” He nodded to Isis, glanced at Horus, and then turned and left.
Maat waited for a time, when Horus could sense that the other god was gone, and then she breathed deeply and rubbed her nose. “At least that’s taken care of.” She looked at Isis and Horus critically. “What of Seth? Where is he?”
“He’s looking after Anubis,” Horus said before Isis could speak. “Anubis was injured in a battle with Osiris.”
“Osiris?” Maat said with a frown. “What are you talking about?”
“Horus—” Isis began.
“Osiris gave Nephthys his seed to have Anubis,” Horus explained, ignored her and gazing at Maat, who was clearly confused by the subject change. “They lied to Seth and Anubis about it for years, until Seth learned on the night of usurpation. When Seth confronted Osiris about it, Osiris drugged him, and attempted to use Nephthys’ gift of the power of creation to have a child with Seth, while sexually assaulting him.”
“What?” Maat asked, horror filling her.
Apparently neither Nut nor you noticed that, Horus thought absently. Perhaps the wise gods around him weren’t so wise after all. “Osiris also attacked Anubis, in an attempt to use his soul for the new child. Seth fought back, and tricked Osiris into killing himself by pretending to enter Duat, and having Osiris follow him voluntarily.”
Maat glanced at Isis, who put a hand over her eyes.
“During Seth’s reign,” Horus continued, calling Maat’s gaze back to him, “Anubis killed himself, and Osiris brought him back to life. Osiris then used Anubis to step back into our world, as a sort of puppet. Earlier, Osiris appeared using Anubis’ body, and attacked Seth and I, in an attempt to kill me and drag Seth down to Duat. We subdued him, and Mother used a spell to stop Osiris from returning to Anubis’ body.”
“I don’t know how long it will last,” Isis said. She looked up at Horus in horror. “Anubis… killed himself?”
“He despaired over Seth’s treatment of him, and actions,” Horus replied, and then he smiled. “I can’t imagine what it’s like to have a father who spends most of his time being absent or hitting you.”
Isis glared. “That’s not—!”
“These are heavy accusations,” Maat said, gazing directly at Horus, who met her eyes fearlessly.
“I know they’re true,” Horus said. His abilities let him verify truth. “Seth, Isis, and Anubis have confirmed them.”
“Anubis is awake?” Isis asked, surprised.
“Yes,” Horus said.
“Osiris must explain himself,” Maat said with a frown. “What he’s done here… It needs explanation.”
“And punishment,” Horus added. He couldn’t think about what would be best, but Osiris had earned it many a time by now.
Maat sighed. “If he has broken our laws as you say, then yes. Punishment.”
Horus watched Isis, who was staring at the abandoned wine on the table. Was she thinking of that night so long ago, when everything had slipped from her control entirely, at least in a way she could see it? He looked at Maat. “Nephthys must also be questioned.”
Maat nodded. “She will be drawn out from her cell.”
“And Seth will remain here longer,” Isis said with a sigh. “Ra will not be happy.”
Horus remained very still. He could say something and stop this, but his mind was blank as he focused on other things.
Maat raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”
“She’ll want her newest pet back,” Isis explained with a snort.
Maat frowned. “Seth was never Ra’s pet.”
Isis stared at her, clearly confused. “He’s been working on Ra’s sun boat.”
“No he hasn’t,” Maat said. “Ra did want him there, but I’ve been able to feel where he is with my spell on him. He’s stayed in Heliopolis since the trial, and then he came here with Horus.”
Isis blinked, and then looked at Horus, confused. “Horus…? What…?”
“He’s mine to do with as I please,” Horus said, meeting her gaze unflinchingly. “I defeated him. I get to decide his fate.” After everything he’d heard, she had no right to reproach him for it. Was he not his father’s son, after all?
Isis’ eyes widened. “You said he went to Ra. You said… You lied to me?”
“I said I made a deal with Ra,” Horus answered, meeting her gaze, unafraid, not after everything he’d learned. “She knew it was a stupid idea to let Egypt rot, and agreed to help restore the land, now that Seth wasn’t worsening things. Ra wanted him on her sun boat, but she will be satisfied without him.”
“That’s not the same thing,” Isis said, glaring at him. “And you know it!”
“What do I know, Mother?” Horus asked, looking down at her as if from a distance. It felt like they were so far from each other now. Farther than they’d been for his entire life. Not just because she was an older, more powerful god. Not just because she was his mother. But also because he could see all the ways she’d failed as a god in her duty to steward Egypt, and had failed him in particular as a mother and advisor, in ways that harmed him.
For Osiris.
“I am your vengeance,” Horus continued, gazing at her still, and watching as confusion filled her expression. “I am the vengeance created from your short-sighted final tryst with Osiris. I am hatred personified, to deal with Seth. You were the one who wanted him sent to Osiris to punish. How is my punishing him instead any different?” Am I no less deserving? Is the vengeance I mete out only meant to be on the behalf of others?
Anguish filled Isis’ gaze. “Horus, what are you saying? This isn’t you.”
“This is exactly me,” Horus said, feeling the ice in his heart melt beneath hot flames of rage. Part of why he’d hidden his actions with Seth from his mother was because he was afraid of this: his anger unleashed could hurt her, too. Better it go to a god he didn’t mind hurting with it. “This is who I am when you’re not distracted by Osiris or Seth or anyone else. You just didn’t choose to look before.” He looked in the direction where the Greek god had left. “I brought you Seth, like you wanted. I brought Egypt back, like you wanted. I even helped defeat the army you brought to our shores.” He looked at Isis again, and saw she was clasping her hands together, and had stepped away from him. “What part of this isn’t what you wanted? Covering up your missteps, making sure Egypt recovers from all the stupidity you and your siblings wrought?”
“Horus, you’re out of line,” Maat said. But she was hesitant. Horus could see it.
“I rule Egypt,” Horus said, dismissively. “My father got away with far more than I do, for centuries. Because he ruled Egypt. Because you trusted him.” Horus looked at Isis. “Do you trust me, Mother? To do what is right for Egypt? What is right for you? Because I am set on bringing justice to Osiris, who wronged you and Egypt. I am set on bringing justice to Nephthys, who did the same.”
Horus had never seen Isis afraid of him before. And a part of him quailed at it. He didn’t want to frighten her. But he wasn’t a child anymore. He needed her to see that.
Isis didn’t say anything. She simply lowered her head.
“…The other gods will have to be called,” Maat finally said. “Another public trial will have to be made. We’ll return to Heliopolis and prepare for it, once the Greeks are gone.”
“Good,” Horus said. He met Maat’s gaze, and saw her startle at the look in his eyes. “It’s time to clean up the mess you left to fester, as well.”
“Are you accusing me of something?” Maat asked with a frown.
“You are the goddess of truth and justice,” Horus said. “All those years, and Osiris crawled right under your nose. Nephthys, too.” And my mother, who knew some of it and said nothing. “All those years, and Seth was left to run rampant. Do not speak to me again about being out of line when I’m the one who finally stepped up to do something about it all.”
Maat’s hands clenched into fists, and her face was as stern as a statue. “You are right in many ways, Horus. Grave injustice was done here, and much was left unchecked. But you gain nothing by attacking everyone around you.”
“Is it an attack?” Horus asked her in return, making her eyes widen slightly. “You speak of the truth, whether this or that alleged accusation is truth. Yet you, a god of truth, act as if it’s something to fear. Something to cut people down with.” Horus chuckled. “Perhaps that’s what it should be for, if it’s so terrifying to be truthful.” Horus walked away from them, wanting to be as far from them both as could. Before he became king, he’d been young and untested, and now everyone looked to him for leadership. Was he becoming more like them, or less? And should he be proud of it? Was this better, or worse?
Given the way the two goddesses didn’t follow him or say anything, he had some ideas on that.
Horus gazed at the tent flap. “All my life, and only a fraction of it was in pursuit of the truth and justice. Because people were so afraid of the truth that they did nothing.” He glared at Isis, who would not meet his gaze. Then he looked at Maat, who did not look away. “And I found out that part of this is because my life was built on lies. Ancient, painful lies that you are all still afraid to confront.” He smiled. “Anubis and I are similar in that respect. Forced to inherit your rot. Forced to make up for it all.”
“Horus, I didn’t mean to hurt you,” Isis said, quietly, finally meeting his gaze. Her eyes were wet. “I didn’t mean that.”
“I imagine you didn’t,” Horus said. If he were better, perhaps he would give in and try to comfort her instead. “But weapons can only be blunted or broken, not harmed. They don’t feel emotions.”
“You’re not a weapon, Horus,” Isis insisted, worry entering her gaze. “You’re my son. I love you.”
“…I can tell you’re telling the truth,” Horus said with a soft smile.
That made Isis’ eyes widen in alarm.
“What a change of pace,” Horus said.
Isis lowered her head.
“My mother will also submit testimony,” Horus said to Maat. “She has her own recollections from the night of usurpation, which are necessary for all of this to be made clear.” They would drag it all out into the sunlight, where it could burn.
Maat nodded, without even glancing at Isis. “Yes. That would make sense.” She gazed at Horus for a time, and finally said, “Perhaps you should learn from your predecessors, Horus.”
I have, he thought. Though I don’t know that you’d like the lessons I took away.
“Tyrants,” Maat continued, “don’t have good ends.”
“Is that what you think I am?” Horus asked. “A tyrant?” He smirked. “Your mother created the throne, didn’t she? You didn’t have to place me on it.”
“I think that your parents’ generation of gods failed you,” Maat replied neutrally, “and the rest of us did as well, you have poor role models to follow. And I hope you take a better path in the world than they did.” She glanced at the tent flap. “I will return to my tent and write summons for the trial.” She looked at Isis. “Contact me if you need anything.”
Isis nodded, and Maat left, leaving Isis and Horus alone in the tent.
Horus suddenly felt emptied of purpose. He’d said so much and even challenged Maat in her own way. Was he truly any different from Osiris in that respect, pressing against the line between life and death, purely for his own ambition?
“I am still your mother,” Isis said, quietly. She met his gaze, and there was a fire in it. “Do you even remember that?”
Horus kept his expression neutral. “I never forget.” How could he? It was his purpose in life.
Isis stared at him for a long time before she finally said, “I didn’t raise you to abandon you to everything I failed at. And everything your father failed at.” She looked away. “I have always regretted all the things I couldn’t give you. Things… I don’t know how to give.”
Horus stayed silent, unsure what she was getting at. Isis had raised him to be at her side as her weapon. Is that all she meant?
“Don’t be like your father, Horus,” Isis said. “Don’t harden your heart to your family in pursuit of little things that don’t matter.” She smiled sadly. “I know you have a heart still. You’re not a weapon. You’re a god. And you defeated Seth not because you’re sharper than he is, but because you knew what he did to me, and to Egypt, and you said no more. Because you cared about us. Not like Osiris, who only cared about himself.”
Horus smiled sadly back at her. “I’m worse than Osiris, Mother. I’m just not an idiot.”
Isis frowned. “What do you mean?”
Horus chuckled. “I want Seth for my own. I have ever since he tried to take me after the second match. And ever since the trial ended, I’ve been ensuring he’s mine. I’ve just made sure he can’t trick me like he did Osiris.”
Isis’ eyes widened again. “What are you saying?”
“I am a weapon,” Horus insisted. “A weapon that Egypt needs in these times. If I have a heart… perhaps we both killed it. Because the only time I feel anything anymore is when I’m with him.” The night Seth came to his chambers, Horus had been shocked. He assumed it was assassination. But then Seth had unwound before him, and Horus had been spellbound by this beautiful god. And beneath Horus’ hands, Seth had been power and pleasure. Yes, Horus used Seth for rage as well, but sometimes… sometimes it was because everything else seemed so empty of color. At least with Seth, things felt real.
Was that proof he was like Osiris? That the only feelings he could were destructive? Looking at Isis, in the moment, Horus felt like it was the only way he could show how he felt. And that made him feel weak and pathetic.
“Horus…” Isis said as she stepped forward to reach out and cup his left cheek. “Don’t say that.”
You don’t even know what I’m saying. She didn’t see it, just like she hadn’t seen it with Osiris. “You want me to be your son,” Horus said. “I’m doing my best. Ruling Egypt, keeping Seth in line, ensuring our border is safe. What else do you want me from me? The silence Osiris gave you?” The silence I’m giving you?
Isis shut her eyes briefly, and then reopened them, looking up into Horus’ eyes with determination. “I want you to know that I love you. And I’m here for you. And whatever this is… We’ll figure it out.”
“And if what I’ve done is worse than what Osiris did?” Horus asked, thinking of Seth’s words.
Isis’ face was pained. “Somehow I doubt that. But even then, you wouldn’t be the only one in this family who has hurt someone. And perhaps… there’s time to make it right.”