Chapter Text
Seth
Isis finally left Horus and Seth alone with Anubis to rejoin Maat to negotiate with the Greeks. She was clearly still shaken, but she’d wiped her face of tears, stood up, told Seth to let Anubis rest for a while and she’d be back before evening, and walked to the exit of the tent. She paused by Horus, but then shortly left.
Horus didn’t say anything.
Seth was glad she was gone. He didn't know what else to say to her. He felt emptied out. She'd listened... but what had she really heard? What had she taken in? He looked at Horus eventually, slightly surprised Horus didn’t go with her. “Don’t you want to be part of the grand conclusion of the campaign? Your first real war?”
Horus tilted his head. “My first real war was defeating you.”
Seth snorted and knelt by Anubis’ side and watched him sleep. Seth’s thoughts were vague and everything in his world seemed to focus in on the rise and fall of Anubis’ chest. Anubis seemed so small. Seth had told Nephthys that when Anubis was born, and how Seth was afraid of crushing him sometimes, he just seemed so small.
“You love him already,” Nephthys had said with a gentle smile. “Just be careful. You won’t hurt him. You may be a god of war, but it’s not like you hurt any of us, right?”
He wondered what she’d think of him now, when he was turning the other gods on her. Isis and Maat would have questions. Horus would have his own. And what would come out at the trial? What would Anubis be forced to do?
Seth knew it was Osiris who had done much of this to them, but Seth also knew that he held much of the blame, too. If he’d just fled to the desert away from it all, perhaps things would have been better for everyone… But leave Isis in the lurch? He couldn’t have done that. Instead, he’d tried to get help, and she’d abandoned him.
“You said I was worse than him,” Horus said, evenly.
Seth looked up at the tent wall, wishing he could just turn into sand. But he could still feel Maat’s spell around him, keeping him caged. Calling a sand dune over the place or even to emerge from the ground and swallow Horus wouldn’t do much good. With his luck, Horus would activate the cock ring and Seth’s thrashing would wake up Anubis and that was definitely not a scenario he wanted to deal with.
“You said I was worse than Osiris,” Horus continued, as if Seth didn’t know who he meant.
“Yes,” Seth replied. He didn’t think Horus would assault him while Anubis was in the tent, but he was risking things just by talking with Anubis there. So Seth had no idea what Horus would say. Would Horus reveal everything now? He’d revealed so much else.
“Because I did more?” Horus asked. “Because I had you for longer?”
“Osiris wanted me longer, too,” Seth said. “I just stopped him from keeping me. But you like causing pain. Osiris doesn’t care about anyone’s pleasure but his own. And you have that, too.” At least with me, anyway. May Isis protect anyone Horus is with who’s not a god. “But while Osiris just wants control and to bend people to his will, and will happily push people if it means his own pleasure, you like suffering. Osiris is just negligent. You have intentionality.” Seth laughed. “Osiris doesn’t consider other people significant enough to care if they’re in pain or not. His will is what matters most, and if he’s pleased, then the subject he’s focusing on should be pleased, as well.” He remembered the way Osiris seemingly expected Seth to give in. In part because Osiris had overpowered him. In part because Osiris expected Seth to accept his gestures of “love”, as if simply shoving things at someone would cause them to accept you.
“Osiris desired me,” Seth continued, “so he trapped me and forced himself on me. And that matched his fucked-up definition of love. By his logic, simply because he wanted me, and did things that gave him pleasure, I should have been pleased, and happy to be with him.” He scoffed. “It was pathetic.” Perhaps Nephthys had never loved Seth after all, if she’d been so willing to go to Osiris without telling him. If there was something more to why she agreed to be with Seth. But if she’d ever once told him to back off or leave her alone… he’d have gone. In a heartbeat. Because the people you love aren’t toys, Seth thought, to be used at your whims. Osiris, for some reason, didn’t realize that. “But you’re not negligent in that sense. You have all his pushiness, and you use it to destroy.”
“…I don’t enjoy causing pain,” Horus said.
Seth scoffed. “Your new kingdom should hope not, at least generally. After all, that’s one reason you overthrew me, isn’t it? Because you didn’t like how I was gleefully destroying Egypt.” He smiled. “But you certainly enjoying causing pain to me.”
“I have my reasons,” Horus said. “You know that.”
Seth glared at him. “I never said you didn’t. But as someone who’s spent most of your life causing pain of his own, I know it marks you for life. Maybe you think how you are around me ends when you’re not around me. But just look at yourself. Look what you’ve done since the trial. Since becoming my jailer. Look at who you are and tell me you don’t like it.”
Horus’ expression was unreadable. Probably he was too determined to follow his own path.
Seth didn’t know why he was bothering. Like father like son: both too stubborn to listen to anyone else. “Can you honestly say that at some point you’ll just… turn off the part of you that does this and become some friendly little pigeon? Or does the part of you that comes out around me come from somewhere deeper? Something that’s being well fed by what you do?”
“…By that logic, are you saying that your real personality is one who butchers humans and allows them to become slaves?” Horus asked.
Seth snorted. “I’m a god of war. I fight and kill until the other side is defeated. Do you think suffering isn’t a part of that? Do you think all the humans I killed in battle were happy to die at my hands? Or died painlessly?” He gazed down at Anubis. “There are many ways to win a war. I just don’t use all of them because I don’t need to.” He looked at Horus with a smirk. “But there are other methods to punish me. And you made your choice on that, Horus.”
Horus’ expression finally turned into a slight scowl.
“Oh, are you upset?” Seth said, as mockingly as he could. “Why? I thought you enjoyed yourself.” Was he just mad that he realized Seth was right? “Or are you just upset that with all that you’ve been mocking Osiris, you finally know that you’re not just as bad as he is, but you’re actually worse?”
Horus chuckled, surprising Seth. “I didn’t assume my father acted like I did. I always assumed we were different in that respect. Save at least in his desire to torture you.” Horus’ voice went quieter. “He had a hungry look in his eyes whenever he spoke about punishing you. Now I know why.”
“I doubt whatever he has planned for me is anything like what you imagined,” Seth said. He snorted. “Well, maybe it is at this point. He seems rather wroth with me over ignoring and tricking and refusing him.” He grinned. “But is that better, really? Knowing that, at the very least, you’re just as bad as the man as you despise most?”
Horus gazed back at Seth steadily. “I may hate him, but the man I despise most is you.”
“I’d expect nothing less,” Seth replied, gazing coldly at Horus. There was nothing between again, but all the pain. But he also realized Horus was getting away from the point. “You’re just like your father in other ways: neither of you understand anything about affection or how to treat people you like. Just look at how you’ve treated Isis.”
Horus seemed a little perturbed at that. “She kept information from me. Information that could have changed things. I have a right to be angry.”
“She’s your mother. She supported you with everything she had.”
“Are you so respectful to your parents?” Horus demanded, angry again. “Nut and Geb practically abandoned you four when you were young. You relied on each other to survive, even in the war against Ra.”
Seth sighed, recalling old memories. “Nut sacrificed a lot to have us. I can’t say that she did more or less or the same as Isis did for you.” He smiled. “But I never treated her the way you have your mother. She may despise me for all that I’ve done. But I’ve never hidden it. I wouldn’t be able to.” All through the years he wondered if she’d tell the truth. What did she see, the night Osiris attacked him? Or did she turn her gaze away, as she so often did? Seeing everything happening under the sky would drive even a goddess mad, so maybe Nut hadn’t been looking that night. “If she didn’t see something, it was her choice not to see it.”
“Then you’re lucky,” Horus said. “That your mother didn’t choose to hide things from you for what she perceived as your own good. And her selfishness.”
Seth scoffed. “Lucky. If she’d bothered checking on me that night, she’d have seen what was wrong. Perhaps she could have done something.” Once, he’d wondered if she was the reason Sekhmet had arrived when Sekhmet had. But no, Sekhmet had probably kept an eye on things ever since warning Seth, and Seth ran off to confront Osiris. Nut had been silent until the trial. “Perhaps things would be different.” He shook his head. “But there’s no point in dwelling on such things.”
“You don’t resent her for it?” Horus demanded.
“I would be lying if I said I didn’t,” Seth said, brushing back some of Anubis’ hair. He hoped Isis’ healing magic was doing the trick, and was glad at every second Osiris didn’t return. Hopefully it meant Isis’ wards were working. “But I know it was Osiris who chose to do what he did to me. And I know it was Isis who chose to turn her back to me. And I know it was Nephthys who chose to go to Osiris and not tell me. And I know it was my own actions that caused all the rest.” He was weak. If he’d been stronger… Well. Much might have been different.
“…Then I envy you,” Horus said, making Seth startle in surprise. “I wish I had that clarity of vision.”
“You have magic that lets you see things you shouldn’t,” Seth said, confused. “What more do you need?”
“Forgiveness doesn’t come easily to me,” Horus said. “It’s always been that way. Part of it was something Mother encouraged, with her hatred of you. And Osiris as well, with what I believed was the same. Part of it was growing up in the wreckage of your crimes. I was born to be their vengeance. Forgiveness doesn’t really factor into that.”
“…No, it doesn’t,” Seth said, quietly. He almost felt pity for Horus in that moment, which was strange. Being born to be a weapon, or a force of will for other gods… It was difficult. Seth had borne it all his years, and grown weary of it. It was part of why Nephthys’ betrayal had hurt so much. All that he’d done, and what had it brought him? The realization that he’d been an idiot all along.
Horus stared at Seth thoughtfully. “I can see parts of your time with Osiris.”
Seth felt chilled. It was bad enough experiencing the event with Osiris. Knowing Horus could see Seth, too... It made Seth nauseous.
“I see how he drugged you. His plans. How you tricked him.”
Seth imagined Horus knew part of it instinctively, but what he saw or how he knew… Seth shook himself. He’s seen me at my worst, Seth thought. It hardly matters.
"What he did was cowardly," Horus said, surprising Seth. "I expected better of him. Apparently even the little expectation I had was too high."
Seth snorted. "You really hate him."
"He had all that power and used it for that," Horus said. "Pathetic."
Seth smiled. "Definitely. I can't imagine any other king having a lot of power and using it to torment me in a despicable fashion."
Horus gazed coolly at Seth. “I try to reconcile what you went through with what I know you deserve.”
Redirection, Seth thought with a laugh. Cute.
Horus leaned back against the tent wall. “For all the other suffering you’ve caused. I ask myself: does being punished before you committed a crime mean anything? Am I allowed to feel horror at what Osiris did, since what he did is so much less than what I’ve done?”
I imagine if you give yourself a bit to just want to fuck something again, you won't care anymore what you are or aren't allowed to do, Seth thought.
Horus smiled. “Osiris’ murder was so little of what I blamed you for. It justified my core purpose. Drove me here. Drove you to seek me out that night during the trial.”
It struck Seth how similar they were after that second match: both out for vengeance for people they didn’t fully understand, and Osiris in particular. It was unnerving.
“But so did so many other things along the way,” Horus continued. And I cared for them more.” His smile vanished. “I am not just the vengeance of Isis and Osiris. I was conceived in the waters of the Nile. Raised among humans, and by a number of gods, and harmed by your actions, even outside what you did to my father. I am Egypt’s vengeance, too.”
Seth only gazed back at Horus steadily. He knew that. He’d known that since Horus’ identity had been revealed. And he’d been happy. Because here it was at last. He could finally rest.
Horus breathed in and out deeply. “She was so horrified by the idea of him doing that to you.”
Seth blinked. “What?”
“Isis. You saw the look on her face. I think if she could fall on the floor and weep, she would. But it’s not like her now. She’s a ruler of Egypt again. She doesn’t have the time.”
Seth frowned. Why does this matter?
“I knew when I decided on what I wanted for your punishment that Mother would not approve,” Horus said. “It’s part of why I kept the secret. I knew she might despise me for it. I knew I’d weather it.” Horus frowned. “But knowing how much she sacrificed for him, even after learning what he’d done to her? And knowing how much she’d done for me… And knowing… just how hard it hurt her that he did that to you…” Horus gazed at Seth for a long while.
“What?” Seth asked. “Don’t tell me you feel remorse? Or embarrassment? After everything that’s happened?”
Horus smiled.
A gentle breeze whipped through the tent and Seth’s lower body abruptly felt a little lighter. There was a thunk on the ground beneath Seth. He looked down to see the cock ring laying in the sand. His eyes widened, especially as it flew upward and into Horus’ hands. The weight of the ring was gone, but Seth wasn’t otherwise injured.
Horus pocketed it. “Anubis’ life is the better threat to keep you in line. I’ve seen that every day since you knew he was here.” He smiled down at Seth. “After everything you’ve done to him, you still feel for him. If I must strive to be better than my father, and someone like you can feel remorse or at least some regret for your actions, then why can’t someone like me feel remorse, too?” His gaze grew distant. “Perhaps even my purpose has its limits.”
Seth was wary of this, even as he felt he could breathe a little easier. “What are you saying?”
“There’s more than one way to win a war,” Horus said with a smile. “As my teacher said.”
Seth glared at him. What was between them wasn’t over. Horus was just being realistic. Probably he wasn’t getting all that much fun out of the cock ring. He knew Seth would gladly fall unconscious than respond to Horus’ demands with it. And yes, Anubis was keeping him in check better. “Anubis isn’t a toy. He’s your half-brother! If you can feel remorse of any kind, feel some for him and keep him out of this!”
“I’ve done nothing to him,” Horus said. “I am his king, and he wishes to follow me. He can always leave for better shores as he wishes. In fact, he listens to Mother. I think that says enough.”
Seth glared, wanting to hit him. “Do you expect gratitude for the ring, then? Do you think that makes any difference?” After everything they’d gone through, was that really what he thought would happen?
“I think you’re already stressed even without the ring on,” Horus said, neutrally. “Which proves the ring isn’t necessary. Besides, I can always put it back.”
Seth scoffed and looked aside.
“Anubis will wake soon,” Horus said, surprising him. “How things will or won’t change moving forward is a topic for another time.”
Seth didn’t even know why he cared to argue. It was a thing for Horus to decide in the end. Maat’s spell was still there to cage him. Everything and nothing had changed.
He looked back to Anubis.