Chapter Text
A small part of Thundercracker was relieved. Skywarp was back! But the rest of him focused on the circumstance. Fear turned the air cold and biting. Something was wrong.
"What happened?" He said.
"Autobots!" Skywarp said. "They're here. I saw them! We have to go!"
In terms of ground travel, they were far from Iacon, (flight was a whole other question) but Thundercracker couldn't rule out the possibility of a base nearby. Though, none of the Seekers here were injured, so the Reconian flock hadn't encountered these Autobots recently. Could they have been passing through?
"How many?" Thundercracker said.
"Too many," Skywarp said. "They're close and only getting closer. They could be looking for Seekers. We need to leave."
The last time they encountered Autobots like this, it was when they invaded their camp and attempted to capture them. Could these Autobots be trying to do the same thing? Anxiety coursed through Thundercracker's fuel lines. Even if they left, the Reconians wouldn't be safe. They couldn't just leave them to get captured and killed.
"Lightframe—" Thundercracker froze, the optics staring back at him burning holes into his plating.
"I heard," Lightframe said. "You brought danger with you, just as I said you would."
"It's not kas fault!" Starscream hissed.
Was it? Thundercracker thought the Autobots were tracking him before, but he couldn't prove it. Now, Autobots were in Reconian territory the cycle after he arrived. It could be a coincidence, but in his spark, Thundercracker couldn't believe that.
"We'll leave," Thundercracker said. It was all they could do. "You should, too."
Lightframe's optics narrowed. "This is our home. It's you they're here for, bot-raised."
Thundercracker didn't doubt that, but he also didn't doubt that the Autobots would take any Seekers they found. If this group was anything like Sentinel's—or if they were Sentinel's—then no mercy would be shown. Fighting not to flare his plating or bare his dentae, Thundercracker stepped toward Lightframe. A hand on his shoulder stopped him.
Skywarp stared at him pleadingly. Ahead of wan, Starscream flicked kas helm toward the sky.
[{ID:STSC} Just go. You're not going to convince them quickly enough.]
Thundercracker hesitated. Claws wrapped around his arm as the world contorted. In the place of the ruined city was an open field. He turned back. Behind them, the city's broken buildings stretched to the sky.
"Skywarp—" he said.
"I know," Skywarp said. "But we can't. We have to go."
Skywarp was right. They couldn't stay. They had a mission to complete. But Thundercracker's spark ached knowing that the Reconians could be in danger, even if Lightframe blamed them for what was happening. Thundercracker nodded. Skywarp's plating relaxed as relief flooded the air. But it quickly disappeared as both of them picked up on a low-pitched droning noise.
Comm frequencies. Thundercracker froze. The Autobots were nearby. If they took off now, they would be seen. Skywarp grabbed him and teleported again. They were in the cover of trees. But now, the frequency was louder.
Spark turning faster, Thundercracker backed further into the woods. If they couldn't fly away, they needed cover. The Autobots couldn't find them. They couldn't. If they did, then…
Thundercracker brought a hand to his chest. He couldn't think about that. Not now. But the idea refused to leave him.
Hadn't he killed his first seekerling because it wasn't safe for them to be born? Was it any safer now? But the litter was already so much farther along, and he told himself he'd keep this one. Would he get the chance to? What if they died now? Would he give birth to dead seekerlings?
Pedesteps thudded through the forest. Thundercracker was pulled low. An arm rested on his back, just above his wings. Skywarp stared at him, concern on the air. Just ahead, Starscream crouched, kas dentae bared.
Thundercracker's claws dug into his chestplates. His spark wouldn't still. It was vivid in his mind—his cockpit opening, lifeless and half-formed seekerlings emerging, their internals unsealed, just like… he remembered that cycle. How could Thrust have lost so many and still kept trying? The seekerling was cold and limp. Its metal tasted like any other.
'There's little difference between us and the petrorabbits we eat.'
If his litter died, Thundercracker would have to eat them. It was the respectful thing to do. Leaving a frame to rust was saying the life it housed was worthless even in death. He couldn't let that happen.
Plating came into view. Two mecha—red and blue. Familiar colors. Thundercracker's fuel lines froze. His frame burned. His spark kept turning. No, not him. But Thundercracker knew it was him. There was no way for him not to recognize Sentinel's voice, even as all of the sound around him became muffled and indistinct.
Sentinel kept walking, a frown on his face. He grunted as he pushed branches away from his helm. One swung back at him. He pulled out his sword and sliced it. The red mech from before—the one who had been astonished by Thundercracker speaking—trailed after him, one hand out to stop any branches from hitting his face.
Thundercracker scooted backward. They were too close. Much too close.
The red mech shifted. Thundercracker fought a whine. Optics drifted toward him. They met his.
If he died, then Starscream and Skywarp would have to eat both him and the seekerlings. If they died, he would have to eat them. He didn't know if he could do it. And if he had to flee, he would have to leave them behind. Then, there would be no retrieving them. They would be left to rust as if no one cared for them at all.
Or they could be captured. That thought was worse. Thundercracker may have been raised by Autobots, but they were kind Autobots. Sentinel was not kind. He didn't know what they wanted with Seekers, but it couldn't be anything good. What if they raised his seekerlings to be weapons, or experimented on them? Would they not be allowed to hunt or nest like him?
The red mech bit his lip. He looked toward Sentinel, who didn't even acknowledge him. His optics met Thundercracker's again. He nodded. Then, he turned away. Slowly, the pedesteps faded.
The three Seekers didn't move. There could be more. But as breems passed, there weren't. None of them stirred until the sun climbed below the sky. Thundercracker's joints ached from being locked in place for so long. Spark still spinning rapidly, he was the first to leap into the air, ignoring the warnings his fuel gauge generated as he pushed as much power into his thrusters as he could. He needed to get away.
He could never let them find him again. Otherwise, they would take his seekerlings. Or the ensuing struggle could kill them entirely. Either way, they would suffer. So would his trinemates. They had to get away.
Another low fuel complaint. He kept flying. He had to get away. Faster. Smoke from his seams. He didn't know where he was, but he knew it was in the direction of Iacon. Should he be heading toward what would be more enemies? Was it too late to turn back? He couldn't abandon Prowl. He kept flying. His plating shook with the force. Everything burned. He had to get away. He kept flying.
The air shifted around him. Skywarp flew close, nearly brushing against him. He slowed down to avoid hurting wan. Wa only came closer, gently guiding him toward the ground. Thundercracker landed. The moment he transformed, his joints went slack. He was caught in gentle, shaking arms.
"You're okay," Skywarp whispered. "We're… we're far enough now. They won't get us here."
Wa slowly lowered him to the ground, laying his helm in waz lap. Wa purred. It rumbled through Thundercracker's plating.
"They will," he said weakly, his voice filled with static.
They found them at the old camp. They would find them here. Maybe Skywarp was right before. They should have just fled and hidden somewhere to raise their seekerlings, far away from the Autobots and the war. But then what would happen to Prowl? To the flock?
Maybe it was selfish to have a litter now. But Thundercracker wanted them. His spark hurt at the contradiction. Skywarp gently guided him onto his side.
"Come on," wa said. "Open up your plating. You're—you're running hot."
"Bad loop," Starscream said.
Ka was on the other side of Skywarp. Thundercracker hadn't noticed kan before. He nodded. This was a bad loop. Knowing that didn't stop it.
"Stroke kas wing," Starscream said.
"I'm going to," Skywarp shot back, waz voice slightly sharper than it was moments before.
Claws rubbed Thundercracker's wing.
"Feel that?" Starscream said.
Thundercracker trilled an affirmative.
"Good," Starscream said. "Keep focusing on it. You need something else to occupy your processor or the loop will keep going."
Ka spoke like ka had experience. Ka had recognized it the first time it happened, too. But Thundercracker hadn't ever seen Starscream get caught in one like he had. Maybe that was what those moments ka sought him out and clung to him were about—attempting to keep kaz distracted so ka didn't get trapped in a loop.
Eventually, the spinning of Thundercracker's spark slowed. The world faded back into focus. There were no Autobot pedesteps, only the quiet chirps of cybirds and other small mechanimals. Tiredness crashed over Thundercracker. He closed his optics, but Skywarp shoved him upward.
Thundercracker let out a weary grumble, but quickly learned why: food. Suddenly awake, he ate quickly to silence the constant complaints of his fuel gauge. Then, fully fueled and tired beyond belief, he settled down. Skywarp laid beside him, waz arm laid protectively over his back. Ahead of them, Starscream sat, watching the sky.
!!!
Ka didn't sleep. It was safe, but the moment ka closed kas optics, it wouldn't be. Skywarp hadn't volunteered to take any watches. Wa didn't need to. Starscream was the Claw. It was kas responsibility to keep them safe. Besides, ka was the best one at it. They would probably miss something important because they weren't nearly as observant as ka was. No one else would need to keep watch as long as ka was awake.
Breems melded, the sky changing slowly over the course of it. Still no danger, but still Starscream kept watch. Close to when ka knew Skywarp would wake up, ka flew out. Catching a pair of retrorats was easy. Ka searched for other prey, but that proved much more difficult. It was fine.
Ka left the retrorats in front of them. Something in his abdomen twisted, bring it with it a sharp cramping, but ka ignored it. Ka was used to it once, ka would get used to it again. It was always something. Ka shook kas plating out and sat back down.
It was nice to sit. Kas helm didn't hurt, but it wasn't quite right today. Everything was just slightly off, like someone had bowled kan over but despite getting up, ka was still on the ground. Kas plating ached, simultaneously too tense and too relaxed. Though ka was tempted to curl up next to kas trinemates, ka resisted. Someone had to keep watch, and ka was the best at it there was.
Eventually, Skywarp stirred. Thundercracker remained asleep, but Starscream expected that. Ka had a difficult time the previous cycle. Bad loops were always tiring, and ka was carrying a litter on top of that. Starscream just hoped Skywarp wouldn't eat all of the prey.
Wa sat up. Waz optics met his. Starscream lowered kas wings. Skywarp was the Wing. Ka was the Claw. Ka was supposed to submit. Though what Skywarp wanted to accomplish with this, Starscream didn't know. Ka just knew Skywarp never looked kan in the optics without a reason.
"Why?" Skywarp said in waz sharp-and-familiar tone.
Wa asked that a lot. Starscream never knew what wa actually meant by that.
"Why what?" Starscream said.
Skywarp growled. There it was. Starscream supposed ka should have known why. Ka was only digging the burrow deeper. What had Megatron said, once? That ka insisted on insulting kan with every word?
"Why couldn't you just do your job?" Skywarp hissed.
Oh, it was one of those. Starscream readied kaz for the same set of arguments. If ka didn't know better, ka would assume Skywarp was picking fights on purpose. But that was what ka was doing. Ka was the one who caused the problems.
"I kept Thundercracker safe," Starscream said. "The Autobots didn't find us. We got away."
Skywarp rattled waz wings. Starscream didn't flinch. To the contrary, ka sat tall, maintaining eye contact—a silent challenge.
"I'm not talking about that!" Skywarp spat. "We wouldn't be here if you hadn't failed! Na was supposed to stay home, where it's safe!"
Ah. It was about going on this journey at all. Alright. Starscream held kas wings in neutral position. It took effort, but ka wasn't afraid. Ka dug kas shaking claws into the ground.
"Safe doesn't exist," ka said. "Thundercracker was never going to stay."
It would have been so much easier if ka had. Then, ka would be with the flock, kas seekerlings protected by more than just two Seekers. Despite Starscream's immense skills, an entire flock was much better protection than just the two of them. If ka sent Starscream out alone, then Starscream could evade the Autobots easily. It would have been simpler.
But Thundercracker was never simple. Thundercracker didn't do things by halves. Ka poured kas entire spark into whatever task ka set out to accomplish. It was something they shared.
"You could've tried harder," Skywarp said. "You barely made an attempt. I did most of the talking."
"If you think we could've convinced Thundercracker not to go, you don't know kan very well," Starscream said.
Skywarp bared waz dentae. Hot anger flooded the air. Starscream's claws dug deeper. Ka wasn't afraid. Despite the shaking of kas limbs and the rapid turning of kas spark, ka wasn't afraid. Skywarp was pathetic, and throwing a tantrum like a seekerling. And this was kas fault, anyway. Starscream challenged wan.
"Thundercracker agreed to trine with me before ka ever thought about you!" Skywarp growled. "I mean more to Thundercracker than you ever will!"
Starscream didn't care what ka meant to Thundercracker. Skywarp seemed obsessed with it. Wa stared at Thundercracker as if ka were the only real thing in the world. Starscream could never depend on someone like that. It just wasn't in kas nature.
But ka gave in and dug the burrow deeper.
"Except ka never told you ka got rid of kas first seekerling," Starscream said.
Skywarp's claws flexed. Starscream knew ka struck a nerve. That was what ka told Skywarp on the cycle that Thundercracker cast kan out. Ka couldn't take the endless blaming and swatting, and in a moment of weakness, struck back. Claws weren't supposed to do that.
So what if it happened again? Starscream's spark hurt from how intensely it was spinning. So what?
"Ka never told you ka isn't just a Spark," Starscream said. "Ka only told me. And now ka told me that ka still feels that way."
Skywarp's wings flicked. Waz optics widened. Then, ka growled, lips forming a scowl.
"That's why you're referring to nam that way," Skywarp said.
Starscream probably should've thought twice about revealing this. Others must have known—Thundercracker mentioned other mecha in the flock being like them—but not everyone did, and especially not Skywarp. Thundercracker could be angry with kan later. Starscream dug kas claws further into the ground. So what?
"Yes," Starscream said. "Ka is a Claw and Wing, too. Ka asked me to call kan a Claw. Ka didn't ask you. Thundercracker trusts me."
Ka knew it was a low blow. Anger burned the air. Kas plating trembled, but ka wasn't afraid. So what if it happened again? Starscream brought it upon kaz. Ka was picking a fight. Ka was making Skywarp angry on purpose.
(Or maybe it was just that being in control was better than the alternative. That Thundercracker was right—Skywarp was hurting kan for the sake of hurting kan. That Starscream somehow wasn't bad despite failing at everything.)
Starscream's back smashed against the ground, kas wings curling painfully beneath kan. A surprised squawk escaped kan. Ka had expected retaliation, so why was this so shocking?
Limpness invaded kas limbs, freezing kan in place. It wasn't intentional. It never was. But it was inescapable and had been for as long as ka could remember. Only anger could let ka power through it, but right now, ka wasn't angry. Skywarp's claws dug into kas chest and squeezed.
Starscream couldn't speak. Starscream couldn't move. All ka could do was lay still as ka was crushed, crushed, crushed. An embarrassingly seekerling-like wail rose from kas vocalizer. There was no escape, only a pathetic little seekerling crying for creators that were long dead.
The pressure lifted. Starscream crawled backward. Gentle hands pulled kan close. Ka leaned into the chest of the Seeker that grabbed him. Their spark pulse was familiar. Other, smaller sparks pulsed alongside it. Starscream purred to kaz, focusing only on the spark pulses.
"That's right." Thundercracker's voice was soft in his audials. "You're okay."
Starscream trilled quietly. Thundercracker was awake! Thundercracker was holding kan! Wait…
Starscream pushed kaz away. Thundercracker let kan go with a surprised noise. Scooting kaz in front of the retrorats, Starscream chirped.
"Oh," Thundercracker said, sitting beside kan. "Thank you."
Ka looked between the retrorats and Starscream and Skywarp. Hesitantly, Skywarp joined them. But Thundercracker still didn't eat. Why wasn't ka eating? Surely, ka was hungry by now? Starscream caught those just for kan.
"You were fighting again," Thundercracker said.
Skywarp lowered waz helm and Wings. "I'm sorry—"
"It was me," Starscream said, the words exiting kas vocalizer with all the grace of sandpaper against metal. It was always hard to speak when kas helm was fuzzy like this. "I goaded Skywarp. I've been antagonizing wan the whole time."
Thundercracker frowned. "The whole time? Even when I walked in on wan pinning you?"
"The whole time," Starscream said.
Thundercracker flicked kas wings.
"I don't believe you," ka said.
Ka wasn't supposed to say that! Starscream flexed kas claws.
"It's true," Starscream lied. "I've been doing it on purpose. I wanted Skywarp to attack me. I've been manipulating both of you."
Skywarp stared at kan, optics wide. Thundercracker remained stoic. Why wasn't ka getting angry? That was what was supposed to happen. And then Thundercracker would go back to being close with Skywarp, and Starscream would…
Starscream had no idea what ka would do, actually.
"You haven't," Thundercracker said.
"I have!" Starscream hissed. "And now I've done so well that you refuse not to fall for it—"
Ka cut kaz off as Thundercracker reached across, resting a hand on kas shoulder.
"I'm not falling for anything," Thundercracker said. "What is this about? I mean, what is it really about? Because you only just started lying to me now."
Starscream didn't know. But there had to be a reason for all of this, and wasn't it better if that reason was kan? If it was kas fault all along, just like it was with Megatron? Wouldn't it be nicer if Thundercracker went back to looking at Skywarp the way Skywarp looked at Thundercracker?
Starscream looked away. The retrorats sat om the ground, yet to be touched.
"You should eat," Starscream said.
Thundercracker sighed. The conversation died as ka began picking the retrorats apart. Skywarp quickly joined kan, but Starscream hesitated, the emptiness of kas cockpit growing more pronounced with each bite the others took. When they fled, they were eating. Starscream didn't have time to put kas medicine away.
Without the medicine, kas systems couldn't process food. It would hurt, and ka didn't want to hurt. They would be forced to take breaks for kan when kas systems finally rejected what it couldn't handle, which would slow them down. It was better not to, especially since kas fuel levels weren't that low.
Starscream's hands were grabbed. A scute of plating was placed in them. Ka shoved the piece back into Thundercracker's hands. It would just make kan feel like slag later, but ka couldn't tell Thundercracker that. There wasn't anything they could do about it, so all it would do is make Thundercracker upset. Besides, ka needed the meal more than Starscream.
"Aren't you going to eat?" Thundercracker said.
"I caught something when I was out," Starscream said.
Thundercracker's brow furrowed, but ka didn't comment. Starscream considered it a win. Eventually, kas trinemates ate their fill, and they were off again. When they landed to eat again later, Starscream's fuel gauge was too low to ignore. Unfortunately, the catch of the breem was petrorabbits, which lacked the solvents he needed, so he couldn't drink from their tanks.
At least it was close to sunset. They would be settling down soon. If Starscream ate now, then maybe ka could hold out until they were asleep. Then, ka could sneak out. No one would be slowed down that way, and no one would have to know. So, ka did exactly that, ignoring the cramping of kas internals until Thundercracker and Skywarp fell into recharge.
But after returning from yet another embarrassing bout, barely able to close kas optics between them, a deep, stabbing pain stopped Starscream. Ka sank to the ground, curling up, and stifled a whine. It was pitiful. The pain deepened, and ka couldn't stop the whine that time. Had it really been this bad before? Ka had the medicine for so long that ka must've forgotten how much it hurt.
A voice made kan flinch. Before ka could stop it, ka chirped. Something rustled nearby. Ka chirped again.
"That really sounds like—"
The voice stopped. Yellow optics shone in the dark, framed by pale purple plating. Starscream tried to silence kaz, but another chirp slipped out. It was pitiful—a long-grown seekerling calling for creators it would never see again and hadn't seen in decavorns.
"Oh," Skywarp said. "That's you?"
Starscream chirped again. Skywarp carefully dislodged waz from Thundercracker's grip and crawled closer. Scrambling backward, Starscream's chirps escalated into alarmed peeps. Anyone but wan!
Kas back hit a tree. Ka peeped louder. Skywarp reached out.
"Not so loud," wa said. "Thundercracker is still asleep."
Right. Starscream tried to stop, but ka couldn't. It hurt so much.
"Hey," Skywarp said. Wa rested a Claw on Starscream's olfactory ridge. "You've gotta calm down. What's going on?"
Ka tried to speak, but the words wouldn't come. Ka didn't expect them to. When things were like this, talking rarely worked. Sunstorm used to get angry with kan over it. Na assumed Starscream was doing it on purpose, but ka wasn't.
"Scrap," Skywarp mumbled.
Wa reached down, pulling Starscream toward them. Starscream peeped in alarm, but wa ignored it. Wa squeezed kan against wan. Starscream's cries quieted. The pressure was soothing, and ka was desperate. Ka squirmed, pulling kas arms free so ka could return the embrace.
"Aww," Skywarp said. Wa closed waz optics. "I… I'm sorry. I mean it this time. You're—Thundercracker said you were different. I see it now. You're afraid, just like me."
Skywarp shifted Starscream to waz side. Wa opened waz cockpit, pulling out a small, thin object. Starscream's optics followed it. A pain patch. Where did wa get that?
"You're hurting, right?" Skywarp said. Starscream nodded. "Okay, okay. Alright. Deftclaw gave these to me because na couldn't find you before we left."
Deftclaw. That stubborn scrapheap. Starscream should've known he would do something like that. Skywarp applied the patch. The pain lessened, but didn't go away. Some of the fog over Starscream's mind cleared.
Was it more awkward to pull away and pretend nothing happened or to stay in Skywarp's arms?
"Thanks," Starscream said, voice cracking.
"Don't mention it," Skywarp said. Wa stared off into the trees. "I… I need to get better. Thundercracker is right. I'm just scared, and angry, and… I can't keep hurting you. You're a good Claw, and you're good for Thundercracker. You support nam in ways I can't."
Starscream was numb. This was the proof ka needed that this wasn't kas fault, wasn't it?
"You're right that we're not safe," Starscream said. "We'll never be safe."
Skywarp ran waz hand down Starscream's back absentmindedly. "I guess…"
Safety only happened in small moments like this. It wasn't something to be sustained—only stolen.
"I actually, uh—" Skywarp opened waz cockpit again and pulled out a jar. "Have something for you. Deftclaw also gave me this. I have no idea what it is."
Starscream took the jar. It had a tamper-proof lid. He broke the seal. Inside were small capsules. Starscream laughed.
"That old scrapheap!" Ka said fondly.
Deftclaw had asked kan some very pointed questions leading up to when they left. Starscream suspected he was attempting to create his own version of the medicine, but ka hadn't expected it to be complete enough for kan to try. At least ka wouldn't have to worry about being out of medicine anymore.
Sinking further into Skywarp, Starscream purred in contentment.