Chapter Text
After they learned Thundercracker was gravid, the Reconian flock completely changed their attitude. They treated him with an odd reverence, reluctant to approach. The few that attempted were often held back. It didn't help that Starscream hissed at anyone that came close. Both of his trinemates clung to Thundercracker, barely spending a moment without him.
They were given a spare nest. The flock slept in the basements of the buildings in small groups. Thundercracker supposed it was a fair replacement for burrows. Starscream spent a full breem complaining about the smell. Skywarp found a new love for the rafters. That was where wa was perched as Thundercracker woke from a nap to hushed shouting. Irritation rippled the air. Tiredly, Thundercracker braced himself to break up whatever was happening. As much as he wished they got along better, at least the angry whispers were coming from both sides.
"Coward!" Starscream hissed.
"Sparkless scrapheap!" Skywarp spat.
Starscream rose to kas pedes. "I'll show you sparkless—"
"Hey!" Thundercracker said.
Both Seekers froze. They stared down at him, completely silent. Then, Starscream raised a claw and pointed.
"No," Thundercracker said. "I don't care who started it. What was this about?"
And why did they always act like seekerlings around each other? Scrap, the two seekerlings in Thundercracker's life were much more mature than these two. Though, thinking on it…
Neither of them were raised the way Thundercracker was. Maybe they never actually had the chance to grow up. At least Starscream was snarking back even when he wasn't present now.
"Skywarp is being a coward," Starscream said.
Skywarp's wings fluttered angrily. "I'm not! I just think that we should stay a little longer!"
"And make the flock wait?" Starscream said. "They need their Winglord. The faster we get going, the faster we can find out what's going on and return."
Skywarp growled. Wa turned toward Thundercracker.
"You're tired, right?" Skywarp said pleadingly.
Not particularly.
Thundercracker flicked his wing. "I just woke up."
It would take a while longer before he would need another nap. The seekerlings took a lot of energy out of him, but not that much energy.
The hot irritation that seared the air took Thundercracker aback. But as quickly as it appeared, it was gone. Skywarp shook waz plating.
"I'm just saying that this is a good place to rest," Skywarp said, a slight edge to waz voice. "We don't know what's ahead. But there's food here and the Reconian flock will protect us."
Starscream scoffed. "And I'm saying we can't linger when this journey will already take as long as it will."
Thundercracker fought a sigh. He loved his trinemates, but playing mediator for them was a pain when it was already half of what he did every cycle for everyone else. There was a compromise here.
"We can stay for a cycle more," Thundercracker said. "Gather some supplies. But Starscream is right that we need to get going soon."
Starscream grinned. Skywarp bared waz dentae, but ka wasn't cowed. With a growl, Skywarp leapt down from the rafters. Wa stalked toward Starscream, pedesteps heavy with anger. Thundercracker reached out, grabbing the tip of waz wing. Wa froze.
"Don't," Thundercracker said.
They were doing so well. Since he confronted Skywarp, they hadn't had any fights turn physical. But it seemed that because the secret was out, Skywarp wasn't trying to keep waz irritation with Starscream hidden anymore.
Thundercracker was reminded of the memory he saw when they linked up. Skywarp's dam had lashed out at nas trinemates just as Skywarp had. From nam, Skywarp had learned that this was natural—that hitting one's own trinemates was okay. That if they couldn't take it, they were failing and should leave.
Starscream expected to be hurt. But now that ka knew Thundercracker disapproved of it, ka knew there wouldn't be consequences. From their perspective, Starscream was getting away with misbehavior. But Thundercracker wasn't going to enforce some rigid hierarchy he barely understood just because it was the way things were expected to work.
Skywarp whirled toward Thundercracker, claws out. Leaning backward, Thundercracker just barely evaded the swipe. With bared dentae, Skywarp leaned forward.
"You're going to get yourself killed," Skywarp growled. "If not you, the litter. And if not the litter, then both of you! And I can't stand it! You just keep charging into danger, and at first I thought I could convince Starscream to keep you safe. After all, ka is supposed to protect you! But then you made plans together! No matter what I do, no matter what I suggest, you just keep going ahead with whatever dangerous thing you want!"
Thundercracker sat up, reaching. "Skywarp—"
Skywarp growled and backed away.
"No!" Wa spat. "I can't take it anymore. I don't want to see you hurt. I just… I can't, okay? We were safe back home. We're safe here. Who cares about the Autobots?"
Who cared? Who cared? That was his creator! Thundercracker forced down the fury that rose within him. Skywarp was scared. That was why wa was lashing out. He couldn't make it worse.
"I care," Thundercracker said.
Skywarp closed waz optics and sighed. Wa jumped as Starscream snickered.
"Like I said," Starscream said. "Coward."
Skywarp growled and turned around, raking kas claws over Starscream's face. Starscream hissed and backed away, energeon weeping from the fresh wound.
"You have one job," Skywarp hissed. "One pits-damned job. And you can't even do it! You pathetic, weak, lying little scrapheap! This all started because of you."
Starscream's plating flared. Ka widened kas wings. But kas twitching claws and slight movement backward betrayed kas anxiety.
"I told you," Starscream said. "I never forced Thundercracker to do anything. Not everyone runs away at the first sign of danger. Some of us want to fight."
Skywarp bared waz dentae. "It's not fighting, it's stubbornness! We could be far away from all of this—somewhere safe where our litter can grow up without worrying about being captured or killed! But both of you just want to keep putting all of us in danger."
Starscream locked optics with Skywarp and growled. That was all wa needed to launch waz forward, claws sinking into Starscream's plating. Starscream let out a surprised noise, attempting to push wan off. But wa held Starscream down, preventing escape.
"Enough!" Thundercracker yelled.
Skywarp continued to claw at Starscream. Despite having a snarling Skywarp on top of kan, Starscream didn't fight back. Ka went limp. The only energeon shed was kas.
"Enough!" Thundercracker shouted again. Again, he was ignored.
He strode forward and grabbed Skywarp's wing, pulling wan off of Starscream. Wa fell backward with a cry. Energeon stained waz claws.
"Do you remember what I told you?" Thundercracker said.
Skywarp took a step back. Waz optics were fuzzy and unfocused, barely tracking him. Wa shook waz helm.
Thundercracker took a step closer. "Starscream is different. I'm different. You can't—"
Skywarp growled and rattled waz wings.
"I don't care!" Wa hissed. "Different doesn't matter if you're dead."
Before Starscream could reply, Skywarp ran for the nearest exit and took off. Thundercracker sighed. Panic and exhaustion warred within him, causing his spark to turn quickly as his body slumped. What was he supposed to do?
"Wa will be back," Starscream said.
Thundercracker could only hope ka was correct. He helped kan sit up. Aside from the scratch across kas face, the wounds were superficial. In the quiet, the shaking of kas plating was audible. A muffled anxiety hung on the air, smothered by the Seeker who was emitting it.
"Are you okay?" Thundercracker asked.
"I can take it," Starscream weakly. "It's not any worse than I've had before."
"You shouldn't have to," Thundercracker said.
None of them should have had to. Skywarp's flock should have lived. Starscream's creators should have lived. Thundercracker…
Well, he didn't know.
"Slag happens," Starscream said. "Seekers hurt you. Seekers die. Whatever happens, happens. Skywarp will be back, and we'll be together again. You'll forgive wan, and I won't care either way. What's done is done. That's just how it is."
Thundercracker's olfactory ridge scrunched. "It shouldn't be."
The world should be better than this.
Starscream snorted. "Think whatever you want. I'm not angry at Skywarp. I never hated Megatron. Ka just got in my way. There's little difference between us and the petrorabbits we eat. We're all mechanimals, even the dirtkissers. We're going to act like it sometimes. I know what I want and that's all that matters."
"What do you want?" Thundercracker asked.
Starscream went quiet. Ka stared up at the ceiling.
"A good life," ka finally said.
Not to be Winglord. Not to get revenge. Not any of the thousand things Thundercracker could think of for Starscream to possibly want. It was simple to the point of vagueness. A good life.
"Why aren't you angry at Skywarp?" Thundercracker said. "Wa hurt you. Wa blamed you for things that weren't your fault."
Skywarp had been hurting Starscream. Thundercracker was upset about it. So why would Starscream, the one who was actually being hurt, say ka wasn't? Was it just to seem unaffected?
"Slag happens," Starscream said again, voice wavering slightly. "I don't…" Ka closed as optics, rubbing kas hand across kas face. "I know there's something wrong with me. Not just in my fuel processing system. It's in my helm, too."
Starscream looked at Thundercracker. Thundercracker stared back. Starscream sighed.
"You know I wanted to be Winglord," Starscream said.
Thundercracker nodded. "I do."
"Then you also know that means I would've had to kill my dam."
Thundercracker hadn't thought of that. Why hadn't he put the pieces together? If Starscream had wanted to be Winglord since before kas dam died, then ka would've had to kill kas dam to become Winglord—at least until Megatron took over.
"I never once reconsidered it," Starscream said. "I knew I would have to kill nam someday. The only thing about it I feared was failing. If Megatron had never become Winglord, I would have killed my dam without hesitation the moment I thought I could do it."
Thundercracker didn't know how to respond.
Starscream threw kas helm back and laughed. "When you asked me if I would do the same as you for my creators… I wouldn't. Their deaths would've made me Winglord. I wouldn't have grieved. But you would have. You're going on a quest to save your creator. Skywarp hurt me because wa wanted me to do a better job protecting you. Wa is terrified of losing you. That's how it's supposed to be. Seekers are supposed to care about trine and family. I don't. If you died next cycle, I would just keep going."
The fury and despair from Starscream's memory of Winglord Red Wing's death was burned in Thundercracker's mind. He doubted that ka didn't care about Red Wing. But Starscream was different. Thundercracker knew that.
"At least I know you won't fall apart if I'm gone," Thundercracker said.
Starscream's optics widened. Kas wings fluttered. Thundercracker reached over, pulling kan to his chest. Starscream let out a surprised trill.
Ka cared. Ka just cared differently. Thundercracker had seen it. It didn't matter to him that Starscream wasn't how ka was 'supposed' to be, whatever that meant. Thundercracker loved him and Skywarp as they were, even when they fought like this.
He wasn't exactly innocent, either. Skywarp was right that he often did things wa was reluctant to do. There were a few times he acted without telling wan because he knew wa would be upset. He never told wa about taking the petals to kill his first litter.
"This was a long time coming," Thundercracker mumbled as the realization hit him.
Starscream chirped lazily, leaning into him. Thundercracker stroked kas wings.
Sure, it wasn't appropriate for Skywarp to do what wa did. Wa should have told him wa was concerned for him rather than abusing Starscream over it. But Thundercracker hadn't been the best listener, either.
"Maybe I'm the bad trinemate," Thundercracker said.
Starscream sat up, optics widening. "You haven't done anything wrong."
"That's the problem," Thundercracker said. "I have. Neither of you will acknowledge it. You just blame each other instead."
Starscream hummed quietly, kas brow furrowing.
"I need to listen to both of you more," Thundercracker said.
Starscream scoffed. "You can't listen when we aren't speaking. Skywarp was too much of a coward to just confront you."
Skywarp had confronted him in the past—when he was taking too long to trine them and about how he was treating Starscream. He had agreed to trine, but dismissed waz concerns about Starscream. Was that why wa took action on waz own? Because he didn't agree with wan about Starscream?
"If you told me, I would've stopped it," Thundercracker said.
With a roll of kas optics, Starscream said, "There was nothing to tell. You don't see it, but all trines are like this. This is how things are. Challenges and punishments keep order, even within trines."
"Not this trine," Thundercracker said.
If Thundercracker had the choice, he wouldn't be the leader of this trine, nor would he be Winglord. But this was how things worked out and he refused to do poorly just because he didn't expect to be where he was. Even if it took their whole lives, he would continue to treat his trinemates well until they understood it.
He should have realized this was a norm when the flock refused to help Starscream after ka challenged Megatron. Skywarp and Ramjet jeering at Starscream when he accidentally stripped kas paint should have been confirmation. But just because it hadn't happened in front of him in the way it did now, he hadn't picked up on it.
"Dirtball," Starscream said fondly. "This is why I trined you. I may not agree with or understand everything you do, but you're different. You don't blindly follow the path set out for you like everyone else."
Warmth flooded Thundercracker's spark. Words left his vocalizer before he could stop them.
"Call me ka," he said.
Starscream flicked kas wing. "Why?"
There was no anger on the air. Only curiosity.
"I'm all of the roles," Thundercracker said. "But everyone calls me na. I want to hear something different."
Starscream didn't protest. Ka didn't bare kas dentae and growl. Ka didn't hiss. There was no derision or claims that Thundercracker was making a joke of this.
"Ka it is," Starscream said. "But wouldn't wa be equally as valid, then?"
It was a relief.
"Yes," Thundercracker said. "But ka might be easier. I was compared to Claws before I knew I was one."
Starscream nuzzled him. "You know that would confuse the flock."
Kas tone was light, almost teasing.
"They'll get over it," Thundercracker said.
Starscream grinned.
"I'll make them get over it," ka said.
Thundercracker laughed. Starscream grinned wider. But his joy was interrupted by a complaint from his fuel gauge.
"We should get some fuel," Thundercracker mumbled, rising from his place. "And look for Skywarp."
Starscream hopped up beside him.
"No need," ka said. "I'll hunt. You can look. Wa probably hasn't gone far. Wa will probably respond to a message if you send one."
Thundercracker hummed. Ka was right about that. Unlike Starscream, Skywarp rarely left Thundercracker without a reason. Wings were supposed to enjoy traveling and patrolling, but Skywarp seemed not to care for it. Starscream more than made up for that with kas independent streak.
They barely made it a few paces out of their temporary nest when one of the Reconian Seekers landed before them, making Thundercracker nearly skid to a stop. The Reconian dipped their helm in silent apology.
"If you're hungry, the Claws just got back," they said, bringing their hand up to point.
Ahead of them, Seekers sat, eating a variety of prey. Carcasses were laid in the center of the area. Rather than the small sets of trines Thundercracker was used to, the Reconian Seekers ate in large groups, frequently passing food between each other.
It was a bit much, even for Thundercracker. With the Autobots, he always had his own cube. With the Seekers, he chose who to share his meals with. But here? It could be with a stranger. Thundercracker's plating crawled.
"Huh," Thundercracker said, trying and failing to regain his composure. "Your Claws all hunt together?"
The Reconian tilted their helm. "How else would they hunt? They can't do it all by themselves."
'With the rest of their trine' was the obvious answer. Thundercracker couldn't get his vocalizer to work. All that came out was another meaningless noise. Starscream glanced at him.
"We can still—"
Ka was cut off by the Reconian. "You shouldn't! The Claws already caught plenty of prey. And a mech in nas condition should rest."
Starscream stared at Thundercracker. Thundercracker motioned toward the gathered Seekers.
"Let's just…" he said. "Uh. Yeah."
Starscream nodded and led him toward the prey pile. Thundercracker selected a turborat, hoping that because of its small size, no one else would attempt to share. He was quickly proven wrong when, after they settled down, a Seeker near them attempted to reach for it. He growled.
They shot him a glare, confusion on the air. Thundercracker lowered his wings. This was normal to them. He was the weird one. But he just couldn't. Something in the back of his processor whispered that they were going to take it all. That he would go hungry. And with the newsparks growing in his chest, he couldn't go hungry.
The Seeker reached again. Thundercracker flared this wings, fighting not to bare his dentae. They backed off. A wave of relief crashed over him.
Claws brushed against his arm and he turned, stopping the hiss that bubbled up in his vocalizer as he registered the source of the contact. Starscream dipped kas helm toward an unoccupied area.
"Let's go there," ka said.
They brought the turborat over. Out of range of the other Seekers, none attempted to take their meal again. Thundercracker finally ate. But ahead, a flash of plating caught his optics. The Seeker that reached for their turborat was speaking with Lightframe.
Lightframe nodded at the Seeker. Wings held upward, Lightframe approached. They carried their own meal—another turborat. Setting it down a short distance away, Lightframe sat.
What did they want? Were they going to try to take his food, too? The other Seeker spoke to them, and they were the one that introduced the flock, so they were probably Winglord. Had they decided they weren't welcome anymore?
"I hope you and your Wing are comfortable," Lightframe said.
Thundercracker's olfactory ridge scrunched. "Wing?"
Skywarp was his Wing, but Skywarp wasn't here, so they couldn't have been talking about wan. Starscream hissed, a flash of anger heating the air.
"Oh," Lightframe said. They motioned toward Starscream. "What is your role?"
"I'm a Claw," ka said sharply.
Lightframe hummed. "In our flock, Claws and Sparks are the largest Seekers. Is that different in yours?"
"No," Starscream said bitterly.
Thundercracker didn't know that, but looking back, it made sense. The Wings were usually smaller than the other two Seekers in the trine.
"How brave," Lightframe said. "To be what you are in spite of that."
[{ID:STSC] Condescending scrapheap!]
Thundercracker couldn't disagree. But hadn't he said similar things to Starscream before? He just didn't phrase them… like that.
"How far have you traveled?" Lightframe asked.
Thundercracker gave an approximate distance. Lightframe's brow furrowed slightly at the number, and Thundercracker realized that he gave the amount in a translation of Autobot distance units. He had no idea what Seekers used to measure distance. It had never come up.
Before Thundercracker could wallow in embarrassment, Starscream translated the distance, saving him from having to explain himself. Though, since Lightframe identified him as Autobot-raised before, they already knew the reason.
"That's quite far," Lightframe said. "The few Wings who came to us from other flocks traveled less. If you don't mind, can you tell me about your flock? I'm curious about the traditions of other flocks."
Thundercracker wasn't the best one to explain that. He barely understood the flock's traditions, and especially not what would make them different from others.
"What do you want to know?" He asked, trying not to let the nervousness seep into his voice.
"Well," Lightframe said. "You seemed confused about Claws hunting. Why is that?"
"The whole trine hunts together in our flock," Starscream said. "Claws only go out alone when the Spark is in Hunger."
Lightframe's gaze burned. There was no malice on the air, but Thundercracker felt targeted all the same. He forced himself to take a bite of his meal.
"You also seem reluctant to share," Lightframe said.
Thundercracker shoved another scute of plating into his mouth to keep quiet.
"Trines hunt for themselves," Starscream said. "We only share with those closest to us. And ka is… particularly possessive surrounding food."
Starscream motioned to him. Thundercracker looked away. He hadn't snapped at anyone about fuel since he first came to the flock, had he?
"Not uncommon for bot-raised if they had no other Seekers," Lightframe said. "That's why they're dangerous."
Starscream bared kas dentae. "Ka isn't dangerous."
Lightframe lowered their wings and helm.
"I meant no offense," they said. After a moment, they raised their helm. "Ka…? You referred to ka as na before."
"So?" Starscream said.
Lightframe turned toward Thundercracker.
"Are you Fourth Role?" They said.
Thundercracker stared at them. "Am I what?"
"Fourth Role," Lightframe said.
Thundercracker glanced at Starscream.
[{ID:STSC] I have no idea.]
"What?" Thundercracker said again.
Lightframe frowned. "You don't know what a Fourth Role Seeker is."
"We don't," Thundercracker said.
Lightframe hummed.
"A Fourth Role Seeker is exactly how it sounds," Lightframe said. "They don't fit within a traditional role, or have left theirs behind for another. Aside from Wings, of course."
Thundercracker wasn't a new role so much as he was all of the roles and none of them, but it was nice to know there was a name for it. Though, that meant Starscream was one, too.
"Our flock just called them nontraditional," Starscream said. "No sense in making a new role."
Lightframe shook their helm. "Oh, no. Fourth Roles aren't new. They've always been here. I'm one of them. The Reconian flock values Fourth Roles. I'm… sorry that yours does not."
Lightframe's cadence was familiar. It set Thundercracker on edge. Judging by the tension humming in the air and the flexing of Starscream's claws, ka felt it too.
"Valued in what way?" Thundercracker asked.
"Only Fourth Roles can be Winglord in the Reconian flock," Lightframe said. "The others are too limited."
It was like Thrust's trine discussing Claws as Winglord but even weirder, somehow. Why couldn't Seekers just be the way they were? Having a name for Fourth Roles made sense. It was a lot nicer than 'nontraditional,' at least. But why hold Fourth Roles above the others? Every Seeker was capable of doing anything the others could do. It wasn't roles that constrained leadership, it was attitudes.
"I… see," Thundercracker said.
If he agreed, maybe Lightframe would just drop it. And drop it they did. After a few moments, quiet fell over the group, and Thundercracker returned to his meal. His fuel gauge had been complaining. It was nice to finally silence it.
When the litter was born, what would they look like? They would be a mix of all three of them, wouldn't they? A seekerling with Skywarp's dark gray and Starscream's magenta would be cute…
Where was Skywarp? Starscream had sent messages. Skywarp had to have seen them. So why hadn't wa returned? Was wa still that upset? Thundercracker forced himself to calm. It didn't work. What if Skywarp left? What if wa didn't ever want to come back?
Skywarp was the first Seeker Thundercracker got to know. Wa offered him help when others wouldn't. Wa explained everything to him. But wa also hurt Starscream and tried to hide it from him. Thundercracker could make all of the excuses he wanted. He knew there was no justifying what Skywarp did.
But he was selfish. He didn't want to lose wan. Starscream didn't seem to hate wan for it. Ka still stayed. Ka pushed back. So maybe it was okay enough. A novelty, a freak, and a reject—they were never going to be a perfect trine. What mattered was that they worked it out.
Thundercracker finished his meal and rose, prepared to go find Skywarp. Hands seized him. He let out a surprised hiss.
"Don't!" Skywarp whispered directly into his audial. "We need to leave! Right now!"
What?