Chapter Text
The flock refused to enter the base. That was fine for the Autobots, who Thundercracker often caught whispering about them or watching the entrances as if they would invade at any moment. It irritated him. If they wanted to attack, they already would have! But the flock wasn't much better. There were guards stationed at all times—the Claws of the flock took turns at their posts. This was something Thundercracker begrudgingly allowed but hadn't arranged.
Ratchet gave him a full workup, justifying each test with the same reason he gave before: the other members of the flock wouldn't let him perform them, so Thundercracker was serving as their proxy. The battery of tests was tiring at best and uncomfortable at worst, but he tolerated it for the flock's sake. The results finally came in, leading to Thundercracker having to somehow justify antihelminics to the entire flock. He was putting it off for as long as he could, but even with treatment, he would keep being reinfected as long as he was around them.
It was only one of the many things Ratchet had discovered. Apparently, Starscream (whose samples Ratchet had taken while ka was under) had several key deficiencies that were worsening kas issues. Most of them were ones Thundercracker lacked, but enough overlapped that Ratchet wanted to supplement the entire flock. Yet another thing he was putting off explaining. Convincing Starscream and Skywarp to spend every other night inside the Autobot base was difficult enough.
Thundercracker stared down at the datapad. The page was empty, waiting to be filled. But for the past several breems, he couldn't come up with anything. Skywarp laid next to him in the nest, waz helm pressed into his shoulder. Soundwave was reading a datapad about cybirds that Prowl lent them.
Language packets contained information for both reading and writing, assuming the mech obtained them from a mech that already possessed the knowledge. So, luckily for Thundercracker, Soundwave already knew how to read. In theory, Skywarp could also read, since waz copy came from Thundercracker. He had no idea where Starscream sourced kas, but the first night ka saw Soundwave reading, ka had attempted to read the datapad as well and was unable to. But ka refused to let Thundercracker upgrade kas Common language packet.
The door to the private washrack opened. Starscream strode out, plating shining as it caught the light. Ka stood proudly in the doorway. Thundercracker's old room didn't have a private washrack, but he requested one to make sure Starscream wouldn't have any trouble at night. Prowl had shocked him by clearing out his quarters and offering then up.
It was nice to see it getting some use beyond what Thundercracker reserved it for. Considering Starscream's general lack of interest in maintaining kaz, it was a surprise that ka was the first one to use it for washing.
"What is the shine-maker called?" Starscream asked. "And when were you going to tell me about it?"
"You mean polish?" Thundercracker replied in Common. He had no idea what it would be called in Vosian, or if the Seekers had ever encountered it to begin with.
"Polish," Starscream repeated. Then, ka switched back to Vosian. "I like shine-maker better."
Ka settled on the other side of Thundercracker, peering at his blank datapad.
"What are you working on?" Ka asked.
Thundercracker sighed. "I don't know anymore. I need to convince the rest of the flock to let Deftclaw treat them."
That was another thing. Most Autobot names didn't translate well (or in some cases, at all) in Vosian, so Thundercracker had to make new ones up. Thus, Ratchet became Deftclaw.
Starscream's face scrunched. A tinge of disgust filled the air.
"Deftclaw's methods are vile, but they aren't any worse than Sunstorm's," ka said. "The problem is that they're coming from a dirtkisser."
"I know," Thundercracker mumbled, slumping where he laid.
"Do you?" Starscream said.
What was ka getting at? Thundercracker stared at him. On his other side, Skywarp stirred.
"What if it came from a Seeker?" Wa asked.
Starscream's wings fluttered. "Precisely. The flock will only listen if a Seeker offers the treatment. And who offers treatments?"
Everything snapped into place.
"Sunstorm," Thundercracker said. "We need to convince Sunstorm to work with Deftclaw!"
Considering nas reverence for Megatron and hatred of Autobots, that would be much easier said than done. But at least it was something. It was much easier to convince one mech to do something than the entire flock, and once Sunstorm was convinced, na wouldn't stop until the entire flock was treated.
A low fuel warning entered Thundercracker's logs. Had it really been that long? He pushed himself up, turning off the datapad and laying it in the nest. He rose, stretching his joints.
"I'm going to get something to eat," he said as Skywarp and Starscream stared up at him. "Do you want anything?"
He glanced at Soundwave. Na shook nas helm, then quickly returned to nas reading. Skywarp's wings lowered, the air tingling with anxiety.
"Bring me something back," wa said.
Skywarp rarely left the room when they spent time in the Autobot base. Thundercracker never forced wan, but he wished wa wasn't so afraid. When forced to travel the halls, wa clung to him.
Starscream rose hurriedly from kas place. Ka leaped forward, stopping beside him. The air around ka was also full of anxiety, but ka seemed to respond differently to kas fears than Skywarp.
"I'll come with you," ka said.
Thundercracker had no reason to refuse kan, so he dipped his helm and headed toward the door. He thought little of it this first time, but it quickly became a pattern: Starscream refused to stay in the room if he left. Thundercracker had assumed it would be Skywarp that was afraid of being without him, but it seemed his trinemates held surprises in store every cycle.
Thundercracker did his best to tolerate it. He knew this was new for both of them. They were among mecha they viewed in the past as enemies. But when Starscream tried to follow him into the washrack—of all places!—he had to put his pede down.
!!!
When they returned to the flock, Thundercracker was immediately accosted. He expected it, but that didn't stop irritation from making his plating itch. At least wait until he was settled!
Dreadwing approached, flanked by kas trinemates. Ka dipped kas helm, wings high in greeting. Thundercracker lifted his wings in response.
"Winglord," Dreadwing said, kas gaze averted. "The ground here is too unstable and the free space too small for all of us to have burrows, but we need to be hidden. What do you suggest?"
Thundercracker braced himself.
"There's plenty of space in the Autobot base." He paused as Dreadwing's lips curled. He hadn't even finished speaking and just the mention of the Autobots was enough to draw hostility. How was he supposed to convince them of anything? He continued. "But I know the flock doesn't want to sleep there. If we can't all have separate burrows, why can't we have a shared one?"
Dreadwing's brow furrowed. Kas wingmates exchanged glances, likely talking over their trinelink.
"A shared burrow?" Dreadwing said.
"Yes," Thundercracker said. "With multiple exits. Some chambers for storage and private needs, maybe. I know it's not ideal, but it's better than nothing, right?"
Dreadwing closed kas optics. "Right."
Ka stepped away. Kas trinemates followed.
"I will inform the flock of your wishes," ka said.
Thundercracker sighed as Dreadwing and kas trine walked away. His plating was already tense, and they'd barely been back with the Seekers for a klik. Something dug into his shoulder. He leaned his helm on it.
"Good work," Starscream purred.
Thundercracker closed his optics. "I hope so."
Skywarp nuzzled his other side.
"We know so," wa said. "You're a good Winglord. That's why we all fought for you."
Thundercracker still couldn't believe everything that happened. It went against how he assumed flocks worked. But at least it worked out in his favor. Still, it would be nice if someone else could take the burden of leadership from him…
He hadn't even gotten to the real challenge yet. How could he convince Sunstorm to work with Ratchet if the Seekers distrusted the Autobots so deeply?
But first…
Thundercracker strode forward, Skywarp and Starscream stepping behind him. Soundwave stayed at Skywarp's side as they walked, some of the Seekers in the small area they'd claimed glancing at them. When they realized who they were staring at, they quickly averted their gazes.
Ahead of them, Blast sat with Windshear and Nacelle. Windshear outstretched one of vas legs as Nacelle examined vas pede, occasionally poking at it. Vas claws sat a short distance away on the ground. Ratbat and Laserbeak were perched on the edges of Windshear's wings. The small group paused as Thundercracker approached.
He knelt before them. Soundwave came around, settling beside Blast. Windshear jerked out of Nacelle's grip, but ka tugged her back.
"I'm not done yet!" Ka said.
"What's going on?" Soundwave asked, tilting nas helm.
Windshear stilled. Vas wings fluttered.
"I have a rock in my thruster," va said.
"Va forgot to close vas thrusters before va landed and it got jammed in there," Nacelle added. "I'm trying to pick it out."
Ka returned to kas work, wedging one of kas daggers inside of Windshear's thruster. Thundercracker winced as a particularly hard pull made a scraping noise, but Windshear didn't react at all.
"That sounds like it would hurt," Thundercracker said. That hadn't ever happened to him, so he wouldn't actually know, but it seemed unpleasant.
Nacelle made a dismissive noise. "Not a lot of sensation down there, actually. You probably wouldn't notice you had something jammed in there until you went to fly—which is what va did."
Nacelle seemed to have a lot of knowledge for a Claw, considering the way both ka and Sunstorm had spoken about Sparks and Claws practicing medicine. How did ka learn?
"You seem to know a lot," Thundercracker said.
Nacelle laughed. "Well, Sunstorm humors me. Na was the one that taught me how to cauterize wounds after I kept cutting myself while working on my daggers."
"Na did?" Thundercracker said.
The air behind him grew tense. It whooshed as Starscream's wings flicked. Thundercracker glanced backward. Starscream's claws flexed, but ka stayed silent.
'You want to be a Claw, and Claws don't practice medicine.'
Was that really true when Sunstorm had taught Nacelle? When Nacelle claimed that na was willing to teach when asked? Why teach Nacelle but refuse to teach Starscream? Why was Sunstorm withholding medical training from Starscream?
'Na wants to baby something, and nas poor, defective sibling is the perfect target!'
Starscream needed medication to live. Sunstorm was the only Seeker in the flock who knew how to make it. If Sunstorm never taught anyone else, Starscream would be reliant on nam and only nam.
When Thundercracker first met Starscream, he assumed Starscream was ungrateful. Sunstorm was always so pleasant, and Starscream was always so abrasive. In general, ka was unpleasant, but ka had a softer side that Thundercracker enjoyed seeing the few times it emerged. So, it was easy to dismiss kas behavior toward Sunstorm as ungratefulness or kas general abrasiveness, but what if it was something more? What if ka was legitimately frustrated with Sunstorm?
'Why does every admonishment have to be phrased as a backhanded compliment?'
Ka had already voiced anger at the way ka was treated and was ignored.
Thundercracker tapped his claws on Starscream's shoulder. Kas wing flicked in his direction and ka turned. Thundercracker leaned closer, lowering his voice.
"Can I talk to you alone?"
Starscream frowned. Then, ka took off. Thundercracker gave the others a hurried goodbye—assuring them he would be back—and followed. They landed just far enough away to not be seen nor heard by the flock.
Starscream turned toward him, optics watching him out of the corner of kas vision. Kas wings twitched. The air was split with tension.
"What is it?" Ka asked.
How did he begin? Thundercracker rolled the words around in his processor before finally speaking.
"Sunstorm is refusing to train you on purpose," Thundercracker said.
Starscream snorted. "No scrap. Not like you can refuse to train someone accidentally."
Thundercracker shook out his plating and tried again.
"Sunstorm trained Nacelle even though ka is a Claw," he said. "But na is refusing to train you. Why is that?"
He needed to know he was correct.
"For exactly the reason na said," Starscream said. "I'm a Claw."
Why would Sunstorm refuse to train Starscream for being a Claw and then train Nacelle?
"Nacelle is also a Claw," Thundercracker said. "What makes you different?"
Starscream stared at him, then turned away. Kas claws flexed.
"What do you think?" Ka said.
Thundercracker didn't know. That was the problem. Starscream was refusing to confirm his only theory.
"Is Sunstorm trying to control you?" Thundercracker asked.
Starscream's wings twitched. "Maybe. Depends on how you look at it."
It was the closest Thundercracker was going to get to confirmation. Irritation stung the air, and Starscream's plating ruffled and unruffled in a way that Thundercracker recognized as kan wanting to flee.
"Na shouldn't do that," Thundercracker said.
"And yet na has," Starscream said. "It doesn't matter. I'll never give in. I'm me and na will have to accept it."
The remark clicked everything into place. The venom with which Sunstorm referred to Starscream as a Claw, the way other Seekers scorned kan for changing kas role—Sunstorm wasn't actually accepting of kan. Na was using the role of Claw as a weapon to force Starscream out of it.
Anger bubbled in Thundercracker's core. His plating crawled. The back of his processor whispered—Defective! Defective!—and he did his best to ignore it.
"I don't understand why they're so insistent that you stay what you used to be," Thundercracker said.
Starscream stared at him for a moment, optics scrutinizing him as kas olfactory ridge scrunched. Then, ka straightened up, the air calming.
"I was a Spark," ka said. "Sparks and Claws aren't supposed to change. Only Wings."
"Wings?" Thundercracker said.
Why only them?
"Yes, Wings," Starscream said. "They travel. They adapt. Sparks and Claws don't. We're… limited and precious, according to scrapheaps like my sibling. Some flocks have twice as many Wings as Claws and Sparks combined."
But all Seekers could fly. All Seekers could fight. All Seekers could become gravid.
"When we trined, I could select any role," Thundercracker said. "Anyone can select any role. So why can't we change? What makes us any different from a Wing?"
What made Wings any different from them? Were there any real differences between Claws and Sparks? If a Seeker could select any role, and Seekers could change their role, the only thing holding them back was other Seekers.
A realization grew in Thundercracker's spark. There was no difference between the roles. They were all the same. He was not just a Spark-Claw, but a Wing, Spark, and Claw in one because there was no difference. He was also none of them because there was no difference. They were merely fractions of a whole that had been artificially divided up. To call himself one was to call himself the others, because for him, there was no separation.
He wouldn't keep splitting himself into pieces any longer.
"Wings are Wings," Starscream said. "We aren't Wings."
"You're not," Thundercracker said.
"You aren't, either," Starscream said. "Unless you're implying you'd rather be one."
The thread of tension snapped. Thundercracker let go.
"I am one," he said. "But I'm also a Spark and a Claw."
Starscream's wing flicked. "That's not how that works."
How did Thundercracker explain it? For him, it just fell into place. If only he could reach into his processor and place his thoughts directly into Starscream's mind…
"They're the same to me," Thundercracker said. "There's no distinction. Not a real one, anyway."
Starscream's plating flared. "Are you calling them fake?"
They were fake. Autobots didn't have these roles. Cybirds, cybercats, and other mechanimals didn't have these roles. Other Seekers couldn't even directly sense them! They had to be manually set!
But they were still impactful. They trapped Seekers and brought them joy. They were used as a weapon. Others found purpose in them.
Things didn't have to be real to matter.
"Yes," Thundercracker said.
Starscream bared kas dentae.
"Fake," ka hissed. "You think the role I've worked to defend my entire life is fake? That all of my suffering is made up?"
Thundercracker's spark turned faster. How could he make Starscream understand? Could he make Starscream understand?
"Your suffering is real," Thundercracker said. "But the roles… they're made up."
"Then what have I been fighting for?" Starscream hissed. "If they're made up, then I've been fighting for nothing. I've been mistreated over nothing. Do you know how that sounds?"
Thundercracker flinched. He knew exactly how it sounded. There was no way to convey everything he needed to say. But he already let the words spill out and there was no taking them back.
"Not nothing," Thundercracker said meekly. "An idea."
Starscream leaned closer. "An idea?"
Thundercracker's wings lowered. Starscream's optics followed the movement. Ka backed away with a scowl. Thundercracker's plating itched.
"I keep forgetting you're a dirtball," Starscream said.
Ka turned away and took off, flying back toward the new camp. Thundercracker lingered, spark spinning swiftly in his chest. Despite the open wilderness, he was trapped.
Maybe there was something wrong with him. If there wasn't anything wrong with him, why else would he be like this? Why else would no one understand it?
!!!
When he finally returned, Skywarp and Starscream were glaring at each other. Starscream's wings were low, kas plating tense. Wings held high, Skywarp leered over kan. Both paused as Thundercracker landed.
"Thundercracker!" Skywarp said, launching waz at him.
Thundercracker caught wan as wa wrapped waz arms around him, pulling him into a hug. Wa purred.
[{ID:SKWP} Starscream told me what happened. I don't blame you. you weren't raised like us. sometimes these things are hard for you]
Thundercracker rested his chin on waz helm.
[{ID:THCR} Thank you.]
He was thankful, despite hurt in his spark and the bitterness that coated his mouth. They didn't hate him. They just didn't understand it. Or maybe he didn't understand it. That was probably it. It was like Skywarp said—he was raised without all of this.
Yet the thought still lived in the back of his mind: they were all the same. There were no differences. He forced it away.
Gently, he pushed Skywarp away. They were here to spend time with the flock, but they were also on a mission. Thundercracker searched the camp, optics landing on two familiar Seekers. Behind them, almost shielded, was Sunstorm. He approached.
Hotlink and Bitstream dipped their helms and scrambled out of his way. Sunstorm's wings flicked. Na turned toward him, a container in hand. Before nam was a small set of containers.
"I was just taking inventory," na said. "I was forced to leave anything I couldn't fit in my cockpit behind when we fled. It's starting to get cramped in there. If only I had somewhere to store it all…"
Thundercracker sighed. "That's being dealt with. We'll have a new burrow soon."
"We?" Sunstorm said.
Starscream jabbed Thundercracker in the side. Thundercracker turned toward kan, baring his dentae.
[{ID:STSC} Don't let na distract you.]
Right.
"That's not what I'm here to talk about," Thundercracker said. "I have something important to ask you."
Sunstorm placed one of the containers in nas cockpit.
"What is it?" Na asked.
"The Autobots have a…" Thundercracker paused, searching his Vosian lexicon. Did they really have no word for medic? How did Starscream know what Ratchet was? "Helper like you. Na wants to provide treatments to us. I want you to work with nam."
Thundercracker chose na for Ratchet, knowing that Sunstorm would be even more distrustful if he chose a different role's pronouns to refer to him. Ratchet had no idea what a trine role was, nor could he hear Vosian, so there was no way for Thundercracker to let him choose. Still, a wave of guilt washed over him.
Sunstorm's wings twitched.
"You want me to work with a dirtkisser," na said.
Tension pulled at the air. Thundercracker knew the Autobots harmed Seekers. He had been harmed himself. Megatron mentioned poison before. Had Sunstorm ever encountered it?
"Think of it more like supervising," Thundercracker said. "Na won't do anything without your approval."
"Below me or not, na is still a dirtkisser," na said.
"Please," Thundercracker said.
They needed this. Thundercracker knew what he was asking—the Autobots had hurt many of them. But Ratchet wouldn't do that.
"Your hopefulness is to be admired," Sunstorm said. "But the dirtkissers have deceived us before. I do not want to be deceived again."
Thundercracker closed his optics.
"There can't be peace if we won't give it a chance," he mumbled.
He wanted this war to end. Every moment he spent with the Seekers solidified that further. He wanted Soundwave and Windshear to grow up safe. He wanted Thrust to have nas seekerling. He wanted to play video games with Sunstreaker and Sideswipe again. He wanted everyone he loved to be safe, healthy, and happy. That couldn't happen if they were fighting.
Sunstorm's hum drew him from his thoughts.
"Do you think this dirtkisser could find out why a Seeker can't have a seekerling?" Sunstorm asked.
"Yes," Thundercracker said.
Ratchet was smart. He always knew what was going on with Thundercracker, and the few times he didn't, he always found out.
"I will speak with nam," Sunstorm said. "But I will only work with nam if na can do it."
That was better than no.
Thundercracker nodded. "I'll let nam know."
Sunstorm returned to sorting nas supplies. Silence fell over the area. Spark finally calming, Thundercracker turned away. But a gentle brush against his back made him pause. He turned back around, meeting optics with Bitstream. Ka averted kas gaze, wings twitching as anxiety hung on the air.
"Can I speak with you?" Ka whispered.
Thundercracker glanced at his trinemates. He motioned for them to leave. They hesitated before obeying, heading back toward Blast and the others.
"What is it?" Thundercracker asked.
Bitstream stood up and led him just far enough away to be out of hearing range, casting nervous glances toward Sunstorm all the while.
"We—Hotlink and I—want to talk to the dirtkissers," Bitstream said.
"About what?" Thundercracker asked.
They could just walk over to the base and ask to be let in. Why the secrecy?
"Their weapons," Bitstream said. "We've had the chance to take some apart before but they were always damaged. We want to know how they work."
The Autobots certainly wouldn't be happy to hand the Seekers a blaster, but they wouldn't refuse. As long as the Seekers didn't seem like they were going to shoot anyone with it, it would be fine.
"Why not just ask them yourself?" Thundercracker said.
Bitstream motioned back toward where they came from, kas wings lowering. "Sunstorm doesn't want us to."
It took Thundercracker a moment to remember. Sunstorm was Bitstream and Hotlink's Spark. They were supposed to obey nam. If na forbid it, then they couldn't do it. That was why they hadn't come before.
"What do you want me to do?" Thundercracker asked.
Bitstream's wings rose. The anxiety on the air lessened.
"Assign us to it," ka said. "If it comes from you, we can't disobey, and Sunstorm won't be mad at us."
Thundercracker dipped his helm. "I'll see what I can do."
Bitstream smiled. Then, ka hopped backward and ran back toward Sunstorm.
As Thundercracker walked back toward his trinemates, bitterness rose inside him. Why were these roles so strongly enforced? Why couldn't Bitstream and Hotlink do what they wanted without his interference? Were there things Starscream and Skywarp wanted to do that they thought they couldn't because of him?
Every Seeker was an individual, even in a trine. Why weren't they allowed to make their own choices?