Chapter Text
Meredith hurried inside. She got a shopping cart and made a beeline to the Barbie aisle—which turned out to be three aisles of nothing but pink boxes lining the shelves. Her eyes widened at all of their options. Modern, themed, childish, and a few vintage. All boxed in plastic, their pretty features inviting her to look closer.
Pushing the cart in, she walked a few steps past the giant heads of different Barbies that would let you put their make up on and play with their hair.
Out of the corner of her eye, Meredith noticed Addison had moved the flap so she could also look, she stood on tiptoes.
“See anything you like?” Meredith asked.
Addison said, “There’s so much pink.”
“You wear pink scrubs.” Meredith frowned, glancing down at the woman in her pocket. Addison muttered something under her breath, Meredith saw her mouth moving but couldn’t make it out. “Sorry, I didn’t catch that.”
She huffed, sharply looking up, “It clashes with my hair.”
Meredith pressed her lips together, trying to hold in a laugh. “Well switch to the attending ones, you’d look good in the navy scrubs.” She winked.
Her face pinkened, and her lips opened in an ‘O’ shape. “Uh, how about that box?” She pointed randomly.
Meredith followed her finger, the blonde Barbie was dressed in a long sleeve purple shirt with a ribbon and jeans—“Complete with a purse and heels, no way.” She grabbed it and placed it in the cart. Her eyes slid onto the next one, “Huh, Barbie wearing Barbie themed clothes.” She grabbed it, the doll wore a crop top under a plaid jacket and jeans.
Addison stuck her head out further, eyeing more options. “They’re all bleak and not to my taste at all.”
“They’re for kids.” Meredith unhelpfully pointed out.
“Ugh, just put it in the cart, at least it’ll be warm. Does Barbie have to wear crop topped shirts for every occasion?”
“Apparently, but isn’t that in style?” Meredith tossed the doll in the cart. She moved closer to the shelves, so Addison could see more.
Addison waved her off, “Somewhat.” She settled down in the pocket, hands on the edge.
“This one has a long shirt, it’s like a tunic and she has leggings.” Meredith pointed to the Kennedy doll in front of them. It was the most modern outfit she’d ever seen, including the crimped hair.
Addison scoffed, and firmly said, “No.” She leaned out again, poking her head out to glare, “I will put you on scut if you put that in there.”
Meredith laughed, “I surrender. Now get back in there before you fall out.”
Huffing, Addison shot her one last glare and lowered herself down.
Eyes widening as she heard voices coming closer, an older woman and a young girl wandered down the aisle, checking out the toys too. Meredith whispered, “Company.”
Addison pulled the pocket fold down, she squirmed around for a moment, making sure to keep quiet and stilling once she settled.
Meredith watched them out of the corner of her eye, the young girl led her companion further down the aisle. She faced the shelves, keeping her back to them.
“Granny, can we get two Barbies, one for you and one for me?” She sweetly asked.
Her eyes watered, rubbing a fallen tear away, she said in a thick voice. “Yes, dear. You pick. I haven’t played Barbies in years.” She trailed after her granddaughter.
Meredith felt her heart speed up as they passed by, desperately hoping they’d go to the next aisle. Addison couldn’t be seen, she was hidden well but it didn’t stop the thoughts of her being found out. Covering up her nervousness, she reached for a random Barbie. It was a veterinarian themed one, sighing as she remembered Finn and Doc. She missed that lovable scruffy dog. Meredith put the box back, Addison wouldn’t wear it.
Meredith moved the cart a couple more steps forward, the little girl was at the other end of the aisle with a box under one arm. She sighed when they left, relaxing for a moment to just breathe and settle her heart.
A Barbie caught her eye, this one darker skinned and dressed in something she’d wear. Addison’s hang up would be the patches on the pants but it appeared cozy. The cream colored jacket would provide her some warmth, and it wasn’t branded—something Addison would appreciate. Quietly, placing the box in the shopping cart, she eyed both ends of the aisle. Free of people.
Meredith whispered, “The coast is clear.” The flap opened again.
“Did you place something in the cart?”
“No.”
“Liar.”
“Liar?”
Addison moved the flap up higher and raised a challenging eyebrow at her. “Nice try. You repeat back what someone says and you fidget.” She glanced down, a victorious smirk on her face, pointing at Meredith rubbing her fingers together.
Meredith stopped the motion. “It’s a surprise.”
“Of clothes?”
“It’s a surprise.” She repeated.
Her face dropped, her delicate fingers worried the pocket edge again. “I don’t really like surprises. Too many people have always gotten the wrong thing and made it a thing.”
“What kind of thing?” Meredith asked, curious about the cause. No one had bothered to give her a surprise gift before. Her mother never cared to give her birthday gifts. Just a sticky note, telling her to be home before curfew—something she rarely did in high school and her mother never found out.
“The usual…” She trailed off for a moment, a faraway look in her eyes. “Nevermind, it makes me sound ungrateful and selfish.”
“Oh.” Meredith had an inkling of an idea, Derek had cruelly aired out many things about Addison with snide comments about rich girl problems. Meredith sensed there was more to it. Addison could buy almost anything she wanted in the world at the drop of a hat. It clicked. People either didn’t get her a gift or they got her stuff she didn’t ask for. A woman like Addison valued sentimental and thoughtful gifts, not a hastily thrown together gift with no thought behind. Money couldn’t buy happiness, it only offered stability. “Addison, it’s okay to share. I won’t judge you.”
“Everyone judges me.” She quietly said, her voice tight with emotion.
Meredith could feel Addison tensing up and about to hide again. “I’m not everyone, I promise.”
Addison sighed. “I know you aren’t. You’re one of the few who tolerates me at the hospital. But I really don’t want to talk about it.”
Nodding, Meredith dropped it. Exhaustion had leaked through in her voice, she’d had this conversation before and she expected Meredith to react the same way everyone else did. This wasn’t the time or place to push her into an answer. If she ever felt comfortable answering it.
The Barbie in the cart looked back at Meredith. This wasn’t the moment to surprise Addison, maybe another time when she knew more about her and her tastes. Meredith reached in, “I wanted to surprise you with this.” She sensed the redhead breathe out a sigh and relax in her pocket.
“Oh.” Addison quietly took the outfit in, the details of the cream jacket, the scarf tied around her neck, and the jeans. “I love this one, it looks like normal clothes.”
“You actually like it?”
“Yeah.”
“So this would’ve been a good surprise?”
Addison glanced away from the Barbie to look up at Meredith, “Yeah.” She tucked a curl behind her ears, a pleased smile curving her lips.
Meredith felt her heart stutter a beat, she’d do whatever she could to keep that smile on her face. Don’t be stupid, she’s way out of my league. Focus—she thought. Scanning the shelves—determined to not think about Addison, her smile, or the way her big blue eyes shined with happiness and gratitude—she found a blonde Barbie with pig tails, dressed in a Disney themed red and black minidress, smaller Mickey ears silhouette lined the hem. She said, “Barbie at Disney.”
Addison squinted, “I don’t think it would cover my ass.”
“It might, you’re all leggy and fabulous.” Meredith said without thinking.
“I’m all what?” She choked out.
“Shit, I said that out loud.” She temporarily forgot just who she was talking to for a moment. “Forget I said that.”
“I don’t think so,” Addison smoothly recovered. “It’s not everyday someone calls me leggy and fabulous.” The redhead grinned, a teasing Cheshire smirk. “It’s sweet.”
Meredith felt her cheeks flush, silently kicking herself for turning into a teenager with her first crush. “Shopping. We’re here to shop.” She said it to remind herself. Her habit of inserting her foot in mouth was not helping. Nothing intelligible came out, just word vomit or worse—her impulsivity. She lost her filter around the redhead.
Addison chuckled, “Oh, we’re circling back to this sometime.” She gestured between them.
Nervously swallowing, Meredith grabbed a random box. “Clothes. You need clothes, so you’re clothed. Uh, how about this one? This one has…many clothes.” Icy blue and silver clothes with three types of heels, she held it up closer for Addison to see.
“No, it’s party girl themed and it wouldn’t keep me warm. I like the heels though.”
Meredith put it back, looking down in the cart she winced at the few options. “Okay so we have three yeses and we’re halfway down this aisle.”
“How many aisles are there?”
“Three.”
“Oh.” Addison crossed her arms. “It’s not my fault the clothes are something I’d never wear.”
“You’re gonna have to start saying yes to some clothes. Is this a yes?” Meredith grabbed a package of Barbie bra and panties, it came in nude, white, and black.
“Yes. Put it in the cart.”
Meredith got three sets and threw them in the cart. Along with three sets of socks and tights were next to it. Meredith put a few packages in the cart. It was a basic necessity, hopefully it would help keep the chafing of the plastic shoes to a minimum.
Her eyes slid to the shelf below, Meredith gasped, "Barbie is going on a sleepover!" She’d never seen anything like it before.
"No, Meredith, Barbie is not going on a sleepover. 'Barbie' is a real person named Addison Montgomery, Meredith. Barbie does not need Winnie the Pooh pajamas. Barbie is a surgeon. Bar–" Addison stopped mid-sentence, realizing her misstep too late.
Meredith bit her lip as silent laughter shook through the blonde’s body at that rant, it made Addison hold on to the pocket edge with both hands, her grip tight. She wiped a stray tear away, “I meant the tiny Barbie accessories that come with it—look at that tiny bag.” She pointed, “Why does Barbie even need a bag?”
“It’s usually for the child to use.”
That stopped Meredith in her tracks, she’d never heard of that before. She raised an eyebrow, “So like Barbie and me?”
“Have you never played with dolls?” Addison poked her head out further.
“Sorta, I had Anatomy Jane with all of her detachable organs, but I didn’t know the names as a kid. You need a couple pajamas.” She tossed it in the cart.
“Hey, hold up. What if I didn’t want that one?”
Meredith pointed to the Barbie wearing purple négligée and the strawberry themed pajamas. “They only have these three options.”
Addison hesitated, weighing the choices. She rolled her eyes, “I’ll take the childish ones.”
“Barbie at a sleepover.” She set the two Barbies inside the cart. Chuckling, she corrected herself, “Sorry, Barbie is a surgeon.”
“Shut up.” Addison said, but it lacked any real heat to it. She settled back down and crossed her arms.
Meredith grinned, informing her. “I’m still looking for a Barbie with a white coat.”
“No, I’m not treating patients like this.”
“You don’t have to wear it, but I’m still getting it for you.” Meredith said, secretly pleased her word vomit distracted Addison from her memories even if only for a moment.
It seemed she wasn’t the only one here who could slide into the dark and twisties, but Addison didn’t really have a Cristina to pull her out of one. Savvy had come and gone. No one was there for the redhead, Meredith foolishly wondered if her presence would be accepted for that role.
The cart slowly filled up as they went down the aisles, two more incidents of someone wandering down their aisle made Addison drop deep in the pocket. Her heart pounded nearly as loud as Meredith’s did, wondering if this was when she’d be found out.
The clothes options were not all what she’d normally go for, but the circumstances were dire. She’d rather be clothed and vulnerable, then naked and vulnerable. Even in Meredith’s oversized pocket, she felt a lingering chill settle in her bones. Shrinking to nearly the size of a Barbie had taken her ability to keep warm.
They rounded the last aisle, Addison breathed a sigh of relief. From her vantage point, she could see this aisle was filled with accessories, furniture, and Kens. It meant they were nearly done, something she never thought she’d be happy about before. Normally, her shopping companions were complaining about their feet burning long before she’d be ready to call it. Today was a really strange day.
Meredith hesitated in front of the Barbie furniture section.
Addison glanced up, eyeing the blonde, “No, we don’t need it.”
“But it has storage.” She let go of the cart and touched the edge of the box. A small open wardrobe with a mirror as the backing, a rack with hangers and three drawers.
“To store my Barbie sized clothes?”
“Yeah.”
“Couldn’t they just go in a shoe box?”
“Well—”
Addison interrupted to ask, “Or one of your drawers?”
Meredith grabbed the box, “I’m trying to give you independence to get your own clothes.”
“Oh.” Her breath hitched and she leaned into Meredith’s sternum. Meredith once again considered her independence and freedom. She hadn’t gotten that growing up, always under her parents’ thumb, no say in what she could and couldn’t do.
Meredith set it in the cart without a word, along with a few other pieces—a dresser, twin sized bed complete with bedding, a chair and small table.
“A bed?” Addison couldn’t help but ask.
“We need it, I’ve been told I’m a restless sleeper.”
Addison let it go. It wasn’t her business to know more. Though she couldn’t help but wonder why Meredith was helping her and considering, well, everything she’d need. She really lucked out with Meredith finding her in the on-call room. She shuddered if Yang had found her or worse Karev. It would’ve been a nightmare.
Meredith moved the cart forward, the Kens came closer into view with each step she took. Their features eerily similar to Mark’s face, she made a face. On a higher shelf, one stood out, the gray hoodie similar to her Yale hoodie. It appeared cozy, she hesitated, smoothing the end of a curl.
“Addison?” Meredith stopped.
How did she know? She kept being in tune to my emotions. It was weirder than shrinking to this size.
She prompted, “Do you see something you want?”
Addison swallowed her pride, asking for a hoodie was something she could do. She cleared her throat, “Add the Ken doll with the gray hoodie to the pile, please.”
“Sure.” Meredith stood on her tiptoes, reaching for the Ken with the tips of her finger. She barely grazed it, huffing, she knocked it down with her middle finger—Addison flinched, ducking and covering her face—catching it with her other hand. “Got it.” She lowered herself down to the balls of her feet.
Addison rapidly blinked, heart pounding in her chest. She gasped out, “Please, don’t do that again.”
“Oh shit, I’m sorry. Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.” Addison stood straight up, she breathed in deeply a couple times—willing her heart to slow.
Meredith suspiciously eyed her, “That’s my line.”
“Well, I’m borrowing it.” She resisted sticking her tongue out.
Meredith opened her mouth when her eyes widened. “Company,” She whispered, turning to face the shopping cart.
Addison ducked down, curling around her breast and made herself smaller. Her heart picked up once more but this in time to Meredith’s heart. She found herself getting used to the faster rhythm, it soothed her. Being tucked away in her pocket quickly became her favorite spot in the whole world, she’d never felt this safe with another person before in her life—it terrified her.
She felt Meredith move, more than likely she was figuring out if Addison would need an item. Addison hoped the blonde wouldn’t get her anything else and she was just looking closer. They had more than enough for a week’s worth of clothes. A part of her felt guilty that she couldn’t pay for any of this right now, her wallet and keys were in her locker at the hospital. Even with access to her trust fund, she remembered what an intern’s salary was like. It wasn’t enough to cover groceries and bills—let alone for this kind of excursion. She would be paying her back the second she could.
Shopping with Meredith was an experience, she both valued Addison’s wants and needs but she also teased and made jokes. She simply cared in a way most people never bothered. It made for a memorable time, if slightly confusing as well.
Addison liked Meredith. Her wit, charm, and compassion were all traits she looked for in a partner. Many things held her back from pursuing her, the main one was the power imbalance. Meredith was still an intern, her career starting out and despite the flagrant sexual conduct amongst Addison’s peers—it was unprofessional and wrong. Addison couldn’t and wouldn’t cross that line, no matter how much she liked the blonde.
Though she was unsure if Meredith felt the same about her. Her gaydar was impeccable, she’d clocked her as bisexual within two days of being around her. That she wasn’t worried about, it was her personal life.
She repeatedly twirled a curl around her finger as she thought more on why Meredith wouldn’t want anything to do with her. Her personal life was a dumpster fire. She’d been shoved back into the closet, a failed marriage under her belt, currently no home to her name, and an ex who couldn’t keep her name out of his mouth.
Not to mention, Derek’s relentless pursuit of Meredith. He’d been incensed with the vet. Derek was blinded by his lust for Meredith, he didn’t see he was hurting her education by keeping her in Neuro. Meredith needed a well-rounded education in all the specialties Seattle Grace offered. Addison hated his backhanded way of getting the blonde after she was assigned to an attending. It was frustrating and unprofessional.
Addison humorlessly smiled. Derek would have a field day if he ever found out. She had never confessed her truth to him, not on the night he left nor while signing divorce papers. She couldn’t do it. If he had a tendency of overreacting when it came to her over their careers, she couldn’t imagine what it would be like if she told him everything. Their entire relationship had been built on a lie, he’d lash out and attempt to make her life a living hell. She shuddered if that day ever came. She couldn’t face that storm.
At least her parents no longer had the same power over her, she’d become of age to gain full access to her trust fund. They no longer had a real say in how she ran her life, she saw them once a year at Thanksgiving. She hated going back.
Meredith interrupted her circling thoughts, a gentle finger ran down her spine—pulling her back to reality. Her voice soft, “Going to checkout.”
Addison tried to unwrap the curl, it tangled in her finger, shaking her hand loose, she roughly tapped her chest twice to signal she got the message.
“Got it.” Meredith whispered, a small chuckle in her voice and something Addison could feel, she pushed the cart forward and left Barbie-land. One step closer to being dressed again, she’d never missed being clothed this much until now.
Meredith stopped for a moment, reaching for something and set it in the cart. Addison wondered what she found. She hoped it wasn’t anything pink.
A few minutes later, they stood in line. Addison huffed, she hated not knowing what was going on. She breathed a sigh of relief when Meredith moved forward.
The cashier blinked as she put the last item on the conveyor belt. Meredith stood tall, refusing to be embarrassed by the amount of Barbies she’s buying. It was for Addison, she needed clothes and to have options. They had no idea how long Addison would stay this size, better to over prepare then to not have enough.
He started ringing the items up, one at a time. His eyebrows disappeared into his fringe with each box. A question on the tip of his tongue but he kept swallowing it.
Meredith offered with a small shrug, “It’s for a toy drive.”
“Oh, that’s nice. Didn’t know they were running one this time of the year?” He picked up the Winnie the Pooh pajama Barbie, scanning it and putting it in a bag. Meredith hid a smile with the back of her hand, Addison’s rant had been hilarious.
He chattered as he finished up scanning, Meredith hummed and nodded at the appropriate spots but she stopped paying attention to him. Her mind wandered to how she was going to hide the tiny redhead from her nosy roommates. They meant well but they had turned into mother hens after she’d gone under the knife. Izzie hadn’t let up, making her hearty meals and snacks. George still wouldn’t let her carry anything over ten pounds. In a strange way, she appreciated their attention even though they were going overboard. But she was fine, Bailey and Webber cleared her for work.
“Are you paying with cash or card?”
Meredith glanced up, “Card.” She pulled out her wallet, she got out a rarely used card. It was the one she used for her mother’s care and emergencies. She swiped it.
“Will you be needing a hand to take this to your car?” He printed out the receipt and handed it over.
Stuffing it in her wallet, she set it in her back pocket. “No, I’m good.” Meredith picked up all of the bags, careful to not dislodge Addison from her hiding spot or hit her with a bag.
Meredith placed the last bag in the back. “Addison, do you want an outfit now?”
Addison lifted the fold over the pocket, shivering as the cold air hit her flesh. “No, it might not fit. Might as well wait until we get to your house.” She closed the fold.
Closing the tailgate, Meredith said, “Okay.” She got in the car and put the keys in the ignition. Cold air blasted her in the face. “Just a minute, it’ll warm up.”
Addison dreaded coming out, she huddled deeper in the pocket. At least the towel would be warm. She’d prefer to stay inside the pocket but she knew Meredith wouldn’t go for it, she’d cite the airbag instantly killing her. A surgeon wouldn’t be able to help her.
Surgeon, surgery…oh fuck, fuck, fuck.
She uncurled herself and opened the flap, not caring about the cold anymore. “What time is it?”
“Ten.”
“Shit, where’s my phone? I have a surgery scheduled to start in an hour.” Addison started to climb out, no longer caring about nudity. She had not once ever canceled on a patient before until now.
“What are you—” Meredith yelped. Addison pushed off her chest with her toes. She held her hands out as Addison fell out head first, catching her around the waist and setting her on her other palm. “Addison, you can’t do that. You’ll get hurt.”
Addison pushed red hair out of her face, her blue eyes sharp, she demanded, “Get me my phone, now!”
“Alright.” Meredith set her in the satchel and turned around to get the pillowcase from the backseat.
Addison chewed on her lip, she resisted the urge to tell her to hurry. Heels. Her stack of clothes. Finally her labcoat. Meredith dug around, finding her phone. “Here.” She set the phone down inside the satchel.
Addison nodded, she grimaced at her reflection, her hair had frizzed and snarled while inside the pocket. Ignoring the state of her hair, she pushed the button to check her phone call log. Several missed calls from: Richard, Callie, and Mark. A voicemail from Mark, she’d listen to it in a moment. The missed call from Callie surprised her, perhaps she really did make a friend with her.
She called Richard back, drumming her fingers against her thigh.
Meredith placed the items back in the pillowcase, putting it in the back seat.
“Addie, are you okay? It’s not like you leave the hospital without a word.”
Addison hunched over and lowered her voice, making it gravelly to sound sick. “I’m coming down with the flu.” She coughed, covering her mouth. “I—I c-can barely stand. My patients—”
He interrupted her, “I’ll get someone to cover for you. You stay home and rest up.”
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Meredith turn to stare. Addison shrugged, coughing she said, “Are you sure? I c-could try—”
“I need my star surgeon back on her feet.” Addison rolled her eyes, he said that to all his surgeons. “You rest. Stay home until you’re feeling better. Do you have all the supplies you need?”
“Uh-huh. I got all I need.” She sniffled, rubbing her nose.
“Good, I’ll see you in a week.” He hung up without another word.
“You just lied to the Chief of Surgery.”
Addison dropped the act, straightening her posture, she said with a shrug, “Yeah.”
“And you did it convincingly.”
Addison shrugged again, “I learned as a kid, if I was going to lie, then I had to do it well. Plus all the years of ballet helped.” She left out the part of living a lie for the last twenty years, pretending to be a straight woman had been a testament to her ability to act.
“You’re sneaky, I like it.” Meredith handed the towel over. “Follow up rule to the ‘no grabbing you by surprise’ rule.” She waited for Addison to tuck the towel around her body. “No jumping out of my pocket. You could seriously get hurt.”
Addison tried, “Does it help that I knew you’d catch me?”
“No!” Meredith cried out, throwing her hands up in the air. “I could have squeezed too hard on your waist. Or missed altogether.”
“I won’t do it again.” She pushed the button to listen to Mark’s message. “Scout’s honor or something.”
Meredith rolled her eyes, mumbling underneath her breath about reckless redheads.
“Red, are you okay? It wasn’t Derek, was it? He didn’t touch you—”
Her eyes widened, she hurriedly clicked it off before he could reveal more. She berated herself for listening to it where Meredith could overhear.
“What was that all about?”
“Nothing, it’s fine.” Addison crossed her arms, her mouth set in a firm line. She kicked her Blackberry in the bottom of the satchel, looking out the window—she refused to elaborate, it wasn’t something Meredith needed to know.
The blonde suspiciously eyed her, “Okay, then.” She took the car out of park and drove them away.
Meredith set Addison on her made bed, “I’ll be back with the rest of the Barbies.” She set the redhead’s phone on the bed, “Call me if anything comes up.” She put the pillowcase by her own dresser.
Addison silently nodded, sitting cross-legged without a word.
She frowned. It was unlike Addison to be this quiet, she filled any room she walked in with some kind of sound whether it was heels clicking on the floors, a comment, or to ask a question. Her presence alone could fill a space, but seeing her curl into herself, small tremors wracking her frame, she was trying to hide in her own skin. After that voicemail with Mark, she’d been distant—her walls thrown back up. Whatever he’d been about to say, Addison clearly knew and cut it off before he could reveal more.
Meredith reluctantly left, she closed the door behind her. She walked down the stairs, slower than normal to give Addison an opportunity to process her emotions and thoughts without her there. They’d been practically glued together for most of the morning. Addison had just rolled with everything that had happened to her, almost too easily.
Her stomach rumbled, Meredith sighed. They’d have to figure out food and drinks for Addison. She hadn’t said a word about hunger and thirst, but Meredith noticed Addison usually ate a small breakfast and then some kind of snack with water before she got into surgery.
Opening the front door, Meredith got to her car and grabbed one bag. She walked inside and placed it by the door—doing this several times.
“A thimble could work for a cup.” Meredith mused out loud several minutes later. “Maybe Izzie has one lying around in her sewing kit.” She put the last bag in the house, hanging up her jacket on the coat rack and kicking her shoes off. She left her shoes by the door, Izzie hated that particular habit and had on more than one occasion thrown all of her shoes into her closet herself.
Meredith did the same thing as before, she took one bag at a time up the stairs. “Where did she last leave her sewing kit?” She made several trips, on the top of the stairs, she glanced in the direction of her closed bedroom door—nothing, no noise could be heard.
She wandered into the living room, the sewing kit laid on the side table. Opening it, she found two thimbles. She grabbed one and closed the lid. Meredith walked into the kitchen, quickly cleaning the thimble—double-checking it was watertight. A small grin appeared when it did. Meredith dried it off, opening the fridge for a water bottle.
The door closed with a click. Addison carefully listened for her footsteps to go down the hall, her eyes pricked with unshed tears. Everything hit her all at once. The whispers behind her back, the lies Derek spewed, her divorce, selling the two properties in New York all by herself, the lack of a support system, and the unexplained shrinking. Her perfectly put together mask started to crack into pieces.
She fell over onto her side, hugging her knees to her chest, rapidly blinking as she fought to not cry. The unfamiliar room not helping her to ground herself, but everywhere was unfamiliar to her. Nowhere was home. She stupidly found herself wishing for the safety of Meredith’s pocket. A traitorous tear fell, swiping it away; another one took its place. Her breath hitched and a raw cry fell from her lips, more tears dripped sideways and pooled underneath her cheek. Addison sobbed into her knees.
The unfairness of it all hitting her square in the chest, especially Mark bringing up her past in a voicemail. He had no right. There were women in worse situations than she’d been in. She was okay. She made it out. She didn’t need the reminder of what could’ve happened, not when she lived through it.
Addison closed her eyes, concentrating on her breathing—just like her therapist had taught her in their second session. She buried her nose in the comforter, hints of lavender filled her nostrils. A shuddering sigh left her, she just focused on her breath, it was something she could control right now.
Addison didn’t know how long she laid on her side when the front door closed with a final slam. Opening her eyes, the crushing wave of emotions had settled. In its place, she felt exhausted and numb. She wiped the remnants of tears and snot away with a corner of the towel.
Footsteps going up and down the stairs alerted her to the end of her alone time. She sat up, a quick glance at her reflection in her phone showed her makeup had been wiped off, red-rimmed eyes matched her red nose. She fingercombed her hair, the curls had dropped into loose waves. Sighing, she shrugged, it was the best she could do. Her mask slowly rose into place, the longer she sat there, listening to Meredith’s footsteps going back and forth.
Meredith knocked, waiting a couple seconds before she came in. “I found you a cup to drink out of, Izzie has a water tight thimble.” She showed her two prizes, a cup and the water bottle.
“Wha—ugh,” Voice thick, Addison coughed into her elbow to clear her throat, trying again, she asked, “What, you didn’t get a tea set at the toy store?” She tried to wink, but it felt clumsy. “Thank you.”
“Don’t tempt me, we could always go back out for more supplies.” Meredith pointed at her with the water bottle, she filled the thimble and handed it to Addison. She set the water bottle on the night stand. “I cleaned the thimble. I’ll be right back to get your bags.” If she saw through her act, she kindly let it go.
Bringing the metal rim to her lips, she sipped, the cool liquid a balm to her dry throat. She drank half of it in several gulps.
Meredith made two trips, she set them in a pile on the end of the bed. She pulled a pair of scissors out from her dresser, “Ready to get dressed?”
“Yes please.” Addison finished the rest of her cup.
Addison came out of the bathroom, dressed in the crop top with Barbie written across the top and jeans. The velcro on the back of the shirt felt weird against her skin, but she could get used to it, she was finally clothed. The pants dragged on the floor, she rolled the ends twice. She pulled on the cream plaid sweater that went with the outfit. The shoes were a lost cause, the pink plastic pinched her toes.
Meredith had put on a hoodie and settled herself in the middle of the bed, plastic boxes neatly stacked around her. Naked dolls off to the side, a growing pile of clothes on the other side. “Look at you, straight off the runway.” She teased.
Striking a pose, Addison said, “Very fashion chic, all the Barbies will be jealous I rock this outfit better than them.”
“Yes, you do. How’s the fit?” She carefully undressed another Barbie, the one with the fishing pole. Addison had almost not picked that one, it reminded her of that stupid trailer and Derek. But the pants were cute.
Addison hesitated for half a second, truthfully it was itchy but she could live with it. She lived in tailored designer clothes for her whole life, it was natural for her skin to feel the difference in material. “It’s comfortable enough.”
Meredith tilted her head, eyeing the redhead. “Addison, how bad is it?” She folded the top.
“It’s fine.” Addison said, “I can live with it.”
“Okay.” She said, dropping the subject. “Do you want to be up here?”
Addison nodded, walking closer to the bed she got in reach of Meredith’s waiting hand and took a seat. Meredith brought her up, she cleared a spot for her in front of her.
Addison stood up, taking it all in, she really was tiny in comparison. The various stack of boxes were like buildings in a city, Meredith herself was a giant. Addison had to strain her neck to look her in the eye.
“Here,” Meredith’s voice pulled her out of her thoughts. “I finished unboxing the furniture. You can put the clothes away.”
Addison smiled, Meredith hadn’t just been taking the clothes off, she’d been folding them too. It was sweet of her. “Sure.”
They went about their joint activity together, a comfortable silence filled the room. Addison quickly caught up as she filled the drawers and wardrobe. She soon took over the folding as well.
Meredith unboxed the Ken doll, “Do you want the whole outfit? Or just the hoodie?”
Addison shook her head, “Just the hoodie.” It was eerie looking at the pile of discarded Barbies, they were now life-size mannequins, something she'd see at a clothing store but the painted details on their faces creeped her out. Shuddering, she kept her gaze firmly on the clothes.
A small chuckle left the blonde, Addison whipped her head around. “Barbie at a sleepover, complete with the tiny bag.” She held the bag out, the key ring on her index finger. “Do you want the bag?” It swung in the air between them, the fuzzy blue bag, complete with a picture of Winnie the Pooh’s face.
Addison narrowed her eyes at the stupid bag that captured the blonde's amusement. “No, it can go in the trash where it belongs.”
“I’ll keep it then.” Meredith said with a laugh, “Could come in handy, you never know.”
She scowled and folded the Winnie the Pooh pajamas, she tried on the slippers. “Comfy.”
Meredith whispered. “Barbie at a sleepover.”
“Stop it.” She resisted throwing a slipper at the blonde.
“You’re right.” Meredith pulled the second to last box out. “Barbie is a surgeon.” She showed Addison the box.
Addison shot a death glare at the vintage blonde Barbie with a white coat, “Let it go.”
“Nope.”
Meredith placed the last broken down box in the trash, she’d tossed the dolls in the back of a drawer. She wasn’t sure what to do with them. Maybe she could donate them.
She walked back inside and found Addison still working on bits of chicken and rice, eating with her fingers off a plate—Meredith reheated leftovers from last night—a used napkin next to her. There were no utensils in the house that would work for her, the smallest one was a teaspoon, but it had been too heavy and awkward for Addison to use.
Addison wiped her hands on a napkin, she grabbed the thimble with two hands and finished the last of her water.
Leaning against the door jam, she asked, “You wanna watch old surgery tapes of my mother’s?”
Her eyebrows rose, she wiped her mouth with a napkin. “Old surgery tapes?”
“Yeah, my mother recorded surgeries in her residency. It’s something my friends and I like to watch.”
Addison stood up, “Sure.” She walked close to the edge of the table. “Stevens still hasn’t deposited that check?”
Meredith asked, “How did you know about it?”
“She asked me a couple weeks ago if I felt guilty for being rich.”
“Oh, sorry she asked.” Meredith took the plate, she threw the excess food away and put it in the dishwasher. “She’s been struggling with what she’s gonna do with it. It’s driving George and I crazy.”
She took the thimble, thoroughly cleaning and then drying it. Now where to put it while it’s not in use. Oh, a reusable bag—she thought. Meredith moved to an upper cabinet, standing on tip toe, she grabbed a bag out and turned around.
“It’s fine, I’m used to that question.” Addison got a lost look in her eye for a moment, waving it off, she said, “So, old surgery tapes?”
She put the thimble in a plastic bag, setting it in her pocket. “Yeah.” Meredith smiled, she moved closer and held her hand out. Addison sat on her palm, she rested against her fingers.
Meredith set Addison on the couch, she busied herself with getting the VCR set up. Pressing play, she turned around to find Addison had made herself comfy and dragged one of Izzie’s pillows to the middle of the couch. The comical size difference between the couch and Addison was laughable.
“What surgery is this?” Addison crossed her legs, resting against the cushion.
“A skin graft.” Meredith said innocently, she took a seat next to Addison, draping an arm over the back of the couch. Her attention half on her mother, the other on the tiny redhead slowly inching herself closer to her warmth.
Twenty minutes later, “She literally pulls his face off.” Her jaw dropped as she watched in fascination.
“It’s great, isn’t it?” Meredith wished she had a bowl of popcorn.
“Yeah.” She leaned forward, closely watching her technique.
To Addison’s surprise, she actually liked watching the old surgery tapes. After the skin graft, Meredith put on a couple more tapes. They spent the afternoon and most of the evening watching them. It wasn’t normally how Addison would spend her time off, she’d read a novel or watch Star Wars. This was fun, it reminded her of her own intern years, sneaking into galleries with her intern group to watch their attendings work.
Neither of them kept an eye on the clock, they were both lost in watching a young Ellis Grey perform life-saving surgeries. It was fascinating.
Addison frowned, the key in the lock broke the spell she was under. Diving into the front pocket of the blonde’s hoodie, the plastic crinkling underneath her body. She curled around the thimble, she heard Meredith start to say her name when the front door unlocked, Izzie and George on her heels.
“Oh.”
“Did you forget that we carpooled today?” George kicked his shoes off, placing his backpack on the stairs.
“We had to get a ride with Callie of all people.” Izzie complained. “Don’t leave your shoes there.”
“Izzie, be nice to my girlfriend.”
Addison intently listened to the interns, a frown appeared, from what she’d seen Callie was a good person. There weren’t that many people who would offer to climb over a bathroom stall door to comfort a stranger. Did Stevens not like her?
“I am nice!” She retorted. “And she’s your ex-girlfriend.”
“I’m sorting out things.”
“Sorry,” Meredith shrugged, interrupting their argument. “I got a stomach bug, Bailey let me have today and tomorrow off.”
George sat down next to her on the couch, “You should go to bed, Mer.”
“I’m making you chicken soup.” Izzie decided, she left the room and went to the kitchen, the rattling of cabinet doors and the pot being set on the stovetop.
Addison’s mouth watered, homemade chicken soup sounded delicious. Her stomach growled.
Meredith got up, “I got it George. I’ve been home all day by myself.” Through the opening of the hoodie, Addison could see Meredith batted his helping hand away. She went upstairs, fast footsteps right behind her.
Addison grew nervous, she forgot how nosy Meredith’s roommates could be.
“I’ll bring you a bowl when it’s done.” Izzie shouted from the kitchen.
Meredith turned around, “I got this.” She informed George. “I made it to my room with unnecessary supervision.”
“You passed out that first night after you got home from surgery.” He said dryly.
“I told you, I turned wrong and pulled at my stitches. It hurt. I didn’t pass out. Besides, it’s been six weeks since the appy, I’m all healed up.” Meredith slipped in and slammed the door closed, locking it for good measure.
Addison breathed out a sigh of relief, crawling to the edge, she poked her head out, “That was too close.”
Meredith nodded in agreement. “We lost track of time, it’s 8.”
Her stomach growled again, reminding her of how little she’d eaten today. “How long until the soup will be ready?”
“Forty-five minutes or so.” Meredith moved onto the bed, Addison crawled out from the pocket, jumping feet-first down. The bed bounced slightly underneath her feet. Addison resisted jumping on the bed, the surface was like a giant trampoline. She walked up to the pillows and rested against them.
“Okay.” She sighed.
An awkward silence filled the room, Addison wasn’t sure how to broach it. Now that Izzie and George were here, she couldn’t figure out how to talk to Meredith. All the conversation skills in those etiquette classes evaporated into smoke. She felt clumsy in her own skin, like the gangly-limbed teenager with the lisp and braces she would always be.
“You want to read a medical journal while we wait.”
Addison smiled, relieved that Meredith offered something they’d both be interested in, “Sure.”