Chapter Text
Bharadwaj’s office door slid open and a woman with broad shoulders and graying hair strode toward her desk.
“I am here to see the Mensah.”
The Mensah. What an odd thing to say.
Any off-world interest in Mensah called for notifying security until the risk of GrayCris retaliation dropped, so immediately Bharadwaj pinged both Indah and SecUnit. Stranger asking for Mensah. She didn’t have an appointment.
Indah sent back, Security is on the way.
Bharadwaj checked the feed for a name, but nothing was listed. People asking for Mensah weren’t rare, but the lack of a name sent a chill through her.
She kept a smile on her face. “Hello, I’m Jui Bharadwaj. I assist the Preservation Council with off-world mining negotiations. You have business with Mensah, you say?”
“Yes, yes. Why isn’t she here?”
“Well, for starters, this isn’t her office. And she’s in a meeting right now. I’m also involved with mining rights negotiations though. Can you tell me what your business is? I’ll help you get set up with what you need.”
The woman shook her head firmly. “My business is with the Mensah. I dealt with the Mensah before, I will do so again. You are not known to me.”
“It’s true that we’ve never met. But perhaps you could introduce yourself to me, and tell me a bit more about why you came? Usually people arrange meetings in advance.”
“I don’t justify myself to you. I meet with the Mensah.”
SecUnit sent, There’s no record of this person visiting Preservation before. Stall her.
“If you’ll give me a moment, I’ll contact Mensah’s aides and see when she’s free. It really would be easier if you told me what this is about. Her aides can assemble any materials she might need when seeing you.”
Her visitor considered that briefly. “Indium on Beliray. Station maintenance expenses have increased. And so we require more money for the mineral rights.”
Bharadwaj couldn’t bring the planet to mind. It was hard to think through her rapidly escalating unease.
“I see. That’s certainly something we can discuss. What’s your name?”
“My name is not for you. I will deal with the Mensah.”
“I’ll contact her. It’s just that it would be simpler if I could tell Mensah who she’ll be meeting with.”
“Not for you,” the woman repeated. “If I am not worth the attention of the Mensah, our deal can end.”
This couldn’t be a real representative. Bharadwaj offered her a quick, fake smile. “That’s up to your own polity, of course.” Then, remembering SecUnit’s instruction to stall, she backpedaled.
“Mensah is a diligent and hardworking person. She isn’t unavailable because she is snubbing you, but because she didn’t know to expect you. With a bit of patience, I’m sure we can work everything out. We can talk about it.”
She’d added the last bit out of habit. The woman gave her an assessing look and finally nodded.
“Very well. We can talk.”
Bharadwaj’s mind went blank. She ought to be defusing the situation. (Where was security?) She tried to organize her scattered thoughts.
“Tell me where you’re from again?”
“You have forgotten already? This is why I deal only with the Mensah.”
The two of them just stared at each other.
And then Gurathin strode in and stared the woman in the face. Two station security members followed but stayed back a bit, letting Gurathin pull attention. The sudden relief left her shaky and light-headed.
“You are here from Beliray. You are new.”
“I am Beliray Mining Rights Negotiator. I am not new!”
“Our previous Beliray Mining Rights Negotiator is known to me. This body is not known to me. Previous Beliray Mining Rights Negotiator showed courtesy and made appointments in advance.”
“My ship was rerouted and arrived early.”
Something had shifted. The situation had gone from waiting for disaster to watching a game. Gurathin knew what was expected.
I think she’s a real representative. They’ve got some weird customs. I assisted Mensah in dealing with this polity before. Her predecessor didn’t say anything about stepping down. I bet she’s overcompensating for being shoved on the job with no training.
It wasn’t a crisis. Gurathin had it handled and she was going to puke on the floor if she didn’t get out of here. Bharadwaj quietly retreated through the door separating her office from her bedroom.
Her stomach settled just a bit once the door was closed. She flopped on the bed, waste receptacle nearby in case she needed it. But lying down was bad. She couldn’t get enough air.
She sat up again.
The stink of the worm was choking her.
A knock sounded on her door followed by Gurathin’s voice. “I’m coming in.”
She tried to slow her breathing. Surely he had more urgent tasks than tending to her.
“I’m okay,” she said.
“Sure. I’ll just keep you company for a minute, all right?”
She should send him away but she couldn’t. At least she could try to slow her breathing though. All this fuss!
“I should have…” Bharadwaj was certain there was something she should have known, but she couldn’t bring it to mind.
“She was being an asshole. She’s new on the job and she was messing with you to cover her own mistake.”
“No! No, I’m going to lose the contract.”
She must have screwed up somehow. She had to apologize, not let Gurathin pick a fight. No, wait, she thought, Gura hadn’t quarreled with the woman. He’d helped. She couldn’t keep track and she couldn’t breathe.
“Bharadwaj. Jui. Never mind the meeting. What helps you calm down?”
“Scarves.” She didn’t wear these. She’d applied perfume directly to them so she could smell them when she wanted to.
She pointed toward a dresser drawer. Gurathin opened it, grabbed a scarf, and pressed it into her hands.
Bharadwaj held the scarf to her face and inhaled. Even through the perfume, she still smelled the worm. That horrible hot stink. Then SecUnit’s gun firing and the roasted flesh, the blasted hole through which SecUnit liberated her and yet the smell of it haunted her dreams.
How stupid to think of that now. There weren’t any worms on…what planet had that woman come from? Bel… She tried to remember but all she could call to mind was that terrible moment when the earth fell away.
“None of the smells are enough. I try and I try but I still smell the worm. I’m supposed to focus on my senses but it doesn’t work. And that’s not even the worst of it. Sometimes I smell…them.”
The words came out broken by gasps and half-sobs.
Gurathin took both her hands and squeezed. “It works. It will work. It takes time. It might not make that false smell from memory fully stop but it will provide a balance, a counterweight. Let’s do your other senses too.”
He talked her through what she could see, hear, and touch. The sense that she was going to starve from lack of air slowly ebbed. The worm smell, that horrible unreal smell that came from her brain rather than her environment, didn’t fully disappear but it did fade.
“I used to smell Mensah’s clothing,” he said a bit shyly, glancing at her as if for approval and then immediately looking away. “She was so kind to me, you know? And smelling her could cut through a lot of the noise in my head when nothing else could. I was worried she would take it wrong, but she said it was all right.”
“I understand. There’s nothing more tangible as a reminder of someone than their smell. And it’s unique to each of us, as much so as our voice.”
He nodded, still looking shy.
“You smell nice,” Bharadwaj said, and then covered her mouth with her hand, a bit horrified that she’d blurted that out without thought. The last thing she needed was to alienate a friend right now.
But Gurathin wasn’t upset. Rather, his face broke out in a pleased smile which he immediately tried to suppress. He glanced at her face and then immediately looked away, the smile still showing at the corners of his mouth.
“I do?”
“You do,” she said, a bit bolder now that he’d taken it well.
“You’re welcome, you know. To smell me. I mean if it helps. If you’re comfortable with that.” He spoke a bit awkwardly, sneaking peeks at her face as if to measure her reaction.
“I think the question if if you’re comfortable?”
He nodded, then held out his arm, a bit stiffly.
Bharadwaj leaned in and lay a head against his chest, her nose positioned to get a solid whiff of his armpit. He had that particular smell, warm and human and belonging uniquely to him. It also contained some hint specific to his augments. Lubrication, perhaps? Or just the way that getting the implants had altered his body? She didn’t know the reason, only that he carried subtle metallic tang that had grown familiar and dear to her.
Slowly the tension in her seeped away. She leaned against him, letting herself drift. He brought a hand up to stroke her hair.
She savored it. Finally she said, “If I’m not careful I’ll fall asleep like this.”
“I wouldn’t mind.”
“You wouldn’t mind now but we’d both wake up with stiff necks.”
He laughed a bit ruefully. “I suppose.”
“Thank you for this. It’s been hard to let people help. Everyone wants to, but sometimes they want to a bit too much, or in the wrong ways, you know?”
He nodded, blinking rapidly.
“That’s been an issue for you too, hasn’t it?
He nodded again.
She gave him one last squeeze and then sat up. “I think I can sleep now.”
“And I should get back to sorting out the whole Beliray mess. Our new contact will get away with less if she has someone who knows Beliray customs around.”
“Oh, she was manipulating me then? I should have guessed.” Bharadwaj felt crestfallen and raw at the belated realization.
“No more than the norm, for them. It’s expected and accepted behavior for them during bargaining. But she’s the one who screwed up her own scheduling. She’s new on the job and trying to look clever.”
That soothed her ego a bit.
Then Gurathin’s shy smile crept back. He blinked nervously. “One last hug? Or sniff?”
She laughed and all but flung herself into his arms. He held her firmly. When he let go, he pulled off his sweater.
She should tell him she didn’t need it. Instead she just sat there tongue-tied and grateful as he laid it on the bed next to her.
“Just in case,” he said with a quick smile. And then he left.