Chapter Text
Bharadwaj packed up her things, said her goodbyes, and managed to ignore the creeping sense of unease right up until the time came to walk out the door.
And then she couldn’t.
If she walked out the door, she’d be alone under the open sky.
“I forgot something,” she told her family a bit stiffly and retreated to Grandma Eswari’s attic room. That bought her time, but now what? She knew she should tell them but she wasn’t ready. Darsham’s words still bothered her.
(Stuck in the past. As if the crisis wasn’t ongoing!)
(She wasn’t holding a grudge. It’s just that he’d said what most of them were surely thinking. It’s not as if she could correct them given the need for secrecy.)
She messaged Arada.
This is going to sound absurd but I need to get to the station and I can’t walk out the door.
Arada sent her a shower of hug emojis.
I know there’s nothing to be afraid of but my brain is acting like it’s a deadly hazard. It’s ridiculous because even on that planet, in order to stay safe we had to leave the Hab.
Jui sweetie. Take a breath for me.
Bharadwaj fell silent.
I mean a literal breath. Deep as you can.
Bharadwaj drew in air. It still twinged to breathe so deeply but she ignored it.
Now let it out slowly.
She tried to count as she exhaled.
Did you do that?
Yes.
Did it help a little?
Yes. It had helped, some. Arada could probably hear the “but” behind that affirmation.
I’m coming to get you.
You don’t have to…
Shush. I’ve made up my mind. I bet I’ll get snacks out of it.
We made besan ladoo just yesterday, Bharadwaj sent, a smile breaking out. She’d missed Arada, even after this short time away.
See? I knew it was a good idea!
The feed call left her feeling better. She was going to have to tell her family something though.
The thought of talking to them pressed on her like a physical weight. The more she tried to find the words, the more her mind returned to the DeltFall bodies.
She shifted her focus to her breathing. She’d skipped the exercises yesterday, best not to skip them twice. Once she was done, she began watching another tutorial on video editing. It was a bit embarrassing to hide from her own family this way, but (perhaps thanks to Grandma Eswari’s lecture) none of them came to get her.
#
Arada’s arrival caused a stir as everyone rushed to greet her and break out welcoming snacks. Someone would be brewing tea. Bharadwaj waited until she heard the chatter died down and then came downstairs.
Arada greeted her with a warm hug. Bharadwaj savored it. Hadn’t she just thought of how she wished she’d hugged her friends more? She breathed in Arada’s unique scent.
Charu poured the tea and put out besan ladoo. And then, to Bharadwaj’s surprise, it was nice. They sat and made small talk. Arada showed off her latest embroidery project. Charu showed off her set designs for an upcoming theater production.
And then it was time to go. Arada took her arm and the two of them walked out the door like it was nothing.
“I’m embarrassed I made such a fuss,” Bharadwaj said sheepishly.
“Oh never mind that! I want to hear about your first documentary.”
“I’ll have to redo everything! Grandma Eswari said I could film her, but then she made me stir and roll.”
They shared a laugh.
“You’ll have to get a drone.”
“Yes! Grandma Eswari said I should practice more anyway. And that it was a disgrace that I didn’t know, seeing as how easy it was.”
“Is it easy?”
Bharadwaj laughed again. “It is when she does it! But there’s a technique. You have to toast the gram flour just enough and not too much. And a few years ago, I tried to make it with the wrong kind of flour and it came out horrible. I was scared to offer it to anyone so it was just me, storing them in my freezer and chipping away at the world’s worst snack for months!”
With Arada at her side, it felt almost easy. Arada had twice as much reason to struggle, Bharadwaj thought a bit guiltily. She hadn’t been doing enough to check on her friend.
Best not to ask here under the open sky though. Later she realized how odd that thought was, but in the moment it felt very ordinary.
Arada kept her distracted all through the trip back to the station, then asked Bharadwaj to come with her on an errand. They chatted while they walked. Bharadwaj didn’t notice their path until they arrived at the station’s MedCenter.
“Are you here to visit someone?” Bharadwaj asked.
Arada put a hands on Bharadwaj’s shoulder and looked her straight in the eyes.
“Jui sweetie. It’s time to make an appointment for trauma counseling. I will if you will.”
“You haven’t?” She heard the hypocrisy of the question as soon as she said it and let out a little huff of laughter.
“I keep putting it off,” Arada admitted.
“I didn’t even consider doing it,” Bharadwaj admitted in turn. “I have all these excuses lined up even now, isn’t that funny? About how I’m doing better now, or how I just need more sleep. But it’s not that, is it? I couldn’t even walk out the door.”
Arada just held out her arms. Bharadwaj pulled her close.