Chapter Text
Thoughts of leaving disappear each time I see your eyes. And no matter how hard I try to understand the reason why we carry on this way. We're lost in this masquerade.”
Tara led Jax to her bedroom. She loved him so much but remembered that loving him was also pain and heartbreak. She knew he loved her too but the fucked up world he lived in had normalized all of his baser instincts. Their moral code was about survival of the fittest and was made up as they went along; it was used to justify everything from cheating to murder.
The few years they had together when they were younger had been buried somewhere deep inside of him. She knew instinctively that he could never be that carefree teenage boy again. Even though glimpses of him surface occasionally when she catches him looking at her with something similar to what she can only describe as hope.
Ten years apart had changed him though from a carefree teenager to a hardened tool of the MC, Gemma, and Clay. Their love would never be stronger than the pull of his history but Tara also realized it wasn’t enough to overcome hers now either. She would still never fit into their life but they also knew nothing of hers.
The painful story of both her parents and how they passed the burden of their familial traumas on to her. How it was now up to her to finish that story while hopefully making it out alive with her baby. All of this threatened to derail her thoughts so she focused on using this as a survival mechanism; after all, motherhood was the world’s second oldest profession.
As they entered the bedroom, Jax grabbed Tara by the waist and kissed her deeply. It was such a relief to be able to finally have a good reason to give into his charms, so she tapped into hers. She found it disturbingly easy to dissociate from their history as she pushed him to sit down onto the bed.
The logistics of doing this while pregnant were not lost on her. She straddled his lap and untied the satin dressing gown she had changed into while doing laundry. The lingerie she was wearing caused his breath to hitch.
”Is this what you’ve been wearing underneath all of those expensive new clothes?” Her breasts were at least a cup size larger and he was instantly obsessed with holding them while kissing and licking her nipples. Tara threw her head back and remembered just how much she loved his fascination with them. She could orgasm from this alone.
The awkwardness of angling around her belly made Tara start to have second thoughts about going any further. She was self-conscious about her belly and he sensed her nervousness. He then brought her in closer as he kissed all along her abdomen.
“I’ve been thinking about this every day since the night you left town for college, Tara.” Her heart dropped into her stomach when she saw the way he looked at her. It was the exact look he had when he tried talking her into staying eleven years ago; the part of him that had been buried since she left Charming.
“I have only ever wanted this with you. This is our chance to do it better together. Me, you, Abel, and JT.” This confession triggered something tender in him and she almost believed they could have their happily ever after as he turned her carefully to her back and undressed.
He quickly took off her lingerie and settled in between her thighs. His tongue found her and she almost came right there as he hummed on her. “Jax! Please, please, please. Right there” she begged desperately and was so wet she was embarrassed.
He smiled and kept right on torturing her with his tongue. She grabbed his hair and practically held his face to her as she threw her head back, moaning embarrassingly loud. “Oh my god, Jax, I can’t take this anymore. It’s been so long. I’m going to cum now if you don’t stop.”
Jax laughed teasingly. He had seen her sex toys after she left the room earlier that morning and acted like he was moving up to kiss her, when he went to her drawer and pulled out the vibrator. Tara’s eyes widened and she shook her head no almost desperately.
“Jax, how did you know that…oh god…” she moaned as he applied light pressure with it to her clit. He kissed her and she grabbed his head holding his mouth to hers while she tried not to lose it right then and there. He laughed into her mouth meanly as he also slipped two fingers into her.
She bucked against him and finally reached for him. He groaned and she wrapped her hand around him and ordered him to make love to her and pointed him to the condoms. She might be carrying his baby, but he’s still a high-traffic zone for all she knows. All Jax could see was her beautiful face as he entered her slowly and looked down possessively at her belly.
“You are mine, Tara. Only ever mine.” She gasped as he started to thrust slowly into her. Her hormones heightened everything and as she grasped his butt, pressing him in deeper as she came hard around him.
He decided to prolong her pleasure by holding out on his own. He buried his face in her neck as he held her arms above her head and rolled his hips so torturously slow. She said his name so loud that she was pretty sure the Peyton Place prayer group was going to call the police. That’s all she needed was Hale showing up.
She made him lay on his back and lowered herself deliriously slow onto him. The stretch was as exquisite as their first time. It was difficult to do this for her so he grabbed her by the hips and pushed up into her slowly, then he increased the pace. The pressure he applied to her lower back drove him in deeper than she expected and she begged him to let her cum again as she kissed him.
He laughed at her desperation and finally let go at the same time she did. He came hard but kissed her through it and cupped his hand around her chin so she didn’t collapse onto her abdomen.
She was exhausted by the time she made it back onto the bed. As he kissed along her neck, while holding her, she fell fast asleep.
Jax woke up with a start the next morning and felt Tara next to him. She was still asleep while he began kissing her gently. She woke up and held onto him. “I really have to get things done today so we can’t spend all day in bed, Jax.” He laughed and got out of bed to go to the kitchen.
Tara left the bedroom to take a shower. She felt euphoric after last night but knew not to trust that this was the beginning of any kind of rekindling of what they had before everything went to hell. She walked out into her bedroom and saw Jax holding her phone. She wasn’t thinking anything until he looked at her and said, “What the hell does ‘The Russians are coming’ mean, Tara?”
Tara finished dressing in a black satin maternity nightgown and was absolutely beautiful. She was staring off into space, then sat on the bed and looked up at Jax. “Those new Russians you told me about aren’t here for you, Jax. They’re here for me and we need to get to the safe room. Now.”
“What? What are you talking about, Tara? This makes no sense.” Jax grabbed her arm. Just then a loud sound like wood splintering came from the front room. Jax reached for the gun in his waist band.
”We have to get in there now. Story time can happen later.”