Chapter Text
I own nothing you recognize.
"You took me in and you drove me out. Yeah, you had me hypnotized, yeah. Lost and found and turned around by the fire in your eyes. You made me cry, you told me lies but I can't stand to say goodbye. Mama, I'm coming home.”
August 1998
When Jax met Tara at the bus depot to leave for San Diego, he knew she was going to be devastated. He wanted to leave with her and almost made it out of TM’s lot when his mom stopped him.
“Where are you going to? Are you really running off with that gash without even the decency to tell your family?” Gemma looked like a pit viper ready to strike. “That bitch has poisoned you into thinking that the club isn’t good enough for you. This is your legacy. Your father built this club for you.”
Jax cut in, “Dad told me he wanted me to do what I loved.”
Gemma laughed and just kept on like Jax wasn’t there. “Oh please, once you’re done prospecting you will be Clay’s right-hand man. You will take this club to new heights that your father never dreamed of, and if that little bitch thinks she’s going to rip you away from me….the club well she’s got another thing coming.”
”Don’t call her a bitch or a gash. I have my GED and am going to take classes at the community college near UCSD. I can get a journalism and business degree then come back here. It will help us run the club, build, and expand it.”
Gemma laughed, “You don’t need a degree to do that. She really has you believing that we aren’t as good as they are because we aren’t as educated as her family.”
”Her mother was an uppity bitch and her father is a drunk who thinks she’s the smarter and prettier than everyone else. She has turned you into a pussy bitch with all this talk.”
Jax finally had enough, “I get to decide what I do with my life, not you. Just because you’re happy being an Old Lady doesn’t mean she’s wrong for wanting to do something different.
Gemma slapped his face so hard there was a visible handprint, “I’m only going to say this once. Take your shit back in the clubhouse. Go tell that little bitch that you are not leaving and that you, and this town, will be better off without her.”
Jax started to interrupt but Gemma was so quick to the draw he knew better than to interrupt.
“If you don’t straighten this out, Clay and I will be more than happy to and she will wish she never laid eyes on you.”
Jax knew the threat wasn’t just implied anymore when she brought Clay into it. Jax had seen Clay punch a sweet butt at a charter in Nevada for getting mouthy with him while they were on a run a few weeks ago. He knew Clay had no issues with meting out violence to women in the name of the club, or any perceived threat to his personal honor.
Clay had made it clear on more than one occasion that he thought Tara was just some passing teenage sweetbutt pussy. He told Jax that he would eventually get tired of her once he found new pussy to chase.
He just knew that Jax would drop her once he was done prospecting and had free rein over the pussy buffet that came with being fully-patched and the Son of John Teller, President of the First Nine of SAMCRO.
As Jax pulled into the bus depot on his Harley, he checked his pocket to make sure the ring he bought her a week ago was still there.
If he could talk her into staying, they could get married. They could leave right there from the depot for a few days, get married, and return to Charming. Once they were back, he would help her find a way to still accomplish her dreams.
He just knew that he had to have her and couldn’t live without her. He was also scared of what Clay and Gemma would do to her, if he left with her, but he could make it work, love, and protect her if they were married. If they had kids, his mom would come around and love Tara too. They wouldn’t hurt the mother of his children.
When he saw Tara, he saw her face and knew that his plan wasn’t going to work. He held off on proposing and started with asking her to stay. Once he talked her into staying he would propose.
“Jax, where is your luggage? Why are you on your motorcycle? We agreed that Opie would drop you off after you met him at the end of the block by TM.”
Jax tried not to look at her but could see the betrayal in her eyes. “Tara, please stay with me. We can be together and you could take classes with Donna.” Tara was in shock. “Jax, I have a full ride scholarship for pre-med. If I pass it up I won’t get another chance.”
Jax knew then that marriage and babies were off the table. He couldn’t take this away from her and he didn’t want Gemma and Clay coming after her if he left with her. He had to push her away so she would leave for the scholarship.
“Your mom talked you out of this, didn’t she? Jax, I love your mom but you have to live your life. We could have this life together. Don’t let them take this from us.” She reached for him but he stepped back.
“This is my life too. The club is my father’s legacy and we could have a life together here. What’s so wrong with that? Are you too good for the bikers now?
Tara looked stunned, “What? No! We talked about this. You could get a degree and come back and build up the club”
Jax felt like a complete shitbag but kept right on, “So you do think we aren’t good enough without a degree. College isn’t the end all to everything.” He almost couldn’t finish, but knew he had to, “So I have to leave but you can’t stay; of course, Little Tara is packing her bags and running away when her loyalty is tested.”
Tara started crying. He wanted to hold her so bad but right as he almost folded, she walked away before he could take it back. He wanted to take it all back and hold her.
He knew he couldn’t so he walked away and sat on his motorcycle. He lit a cigarette and watched her look back. He could see the hope in her tear-streaked face, but all he could do was watch her walk away.
“I’m gonna miss you, babe.”
Jax got back to the clubhouse and right off the bat grabbed the nearest Croweater. Clay looked at him and pressed. “Did you see the little lady off to school?” Jax knew he had to play it off and right away tapped back into his pre-Tara persona. “I’m over her already. Now it’s time for a party and some pussy.”
All he saw was her face. All he would ever see, ever again, was her face. 
The ten year cycle of weed, booze, pussy, rinse and repeat was in full effect.
Gemma looked smugly on from a distance. She knew now that they could mold Jax exactly into the tool they need to build the club up. More importantly, she would keep her crown now that the gash was gone.