Chapter Text
I do not own any of these characters.
Theme From Mahogany (Do You Know Where You’re Going To)
"Do you know where you're going to? Do you like the things that life is showing you? Where are you going to? Do you know?”
When Tara left for college to San Diego, Donna almost went with her. They both were at the top of their class and both were with the loves of their lives. Donna stayed and went to nursing school at the community college. Opie and her married before Tara left. Tara was the maid of honor and Jax was the best man. They were married at Saint Bernadette’s and the reception was at the clubhouse. That’s where Tara first got to hear the club’s classy wedding vows.
“I promise to treat you as good as my leather and ride you as much as my Harley.”
Her father laughed, but the look on his face when he looked at her and Jax told Tara that this was not the life he wanted for her. He liked Jax, and had been good friends with JT and Piney, but knew that they lived a completely different life than he, or Tara’s mother, wanted for her. He knew this was not a world she could try to fit into without compromising who she was at her core. He also knew that she would have to ask those questions and find the answers for herself.
Jax was madly in love with Tara, and she the same. She wanted him to leave with her, to build a life together outside of Charming, away from the club. He almost left with her until Gemma got wind of their plans.
Tara met Jax at the bus depot ready to leave together. When she arrived, Jax was on his bike but had no luggage. It was in that moment that she knew he would never leave Charming. She didn’t even have to ask why, she knew it was the club. In that moment, she thought she couldn’t hate anyone more than she hated Jackson Teller.
She hated him for choosing the club over their love. Over the life they could build together. She should have known that the crown prince would stay. Why leave when your entire life was already laid out for you?
Jax asked her to stay, knowing she couldn’t but he had hoped. He even bought a ring. He didn’t propose right off the bat, and in that moment that she said she couldn’t stay, he hated her. “Little Tara is packing her bags and running away.” She felt like he had stabbed her right in the gut. She cried right there in front of him. Little Tara had become his term of endearment for her, and now it was his weapon, cutting both ways.
Jax felt like a complete shitbag but wouldn’t show it. He just loved her so much and even thought for a hot second that knocking her up would be a good idea. Then in that moment he knew it was the worst idea and realized he had to let her go.
She knew they couldn’t do long distance. She could stay faithful, he was her first and only boyfriend. Just staying faithful with her in Charming was a challenge for Jax. There was always the threat of other girls, and grown women, Croweaters, ready and willing to service him the minute she was out of sight, out of mind. She knew he would be balls deep in a Croweater before the bus hit the city limits.
This was normal for him. She would have to abide by a completely different set of morals and standards if she was going to live in his world. She tried but couldn’t and was tired of fighting random girls and women over him. Maybe time and maturity would change that but deeper down she knew there was a limit to what either could change in Jax Teller.
When Tara arrived in San Diego, she completely immersed herself in college life. She loved it. She had taken AP classes all through high school and was able to enter as a sophomore. Right away she joined every club she could find. Sororities didn’t appeal to her, but she definitely enjoyed the parties. She made fast friends with the pre-med students and her life revolved around school.
She didn’t date, telling herself she was focused on school. She had plenty of guys interested and her dad’s cousin that she was staying with finally talked her into going in a date right before the end of the first semester. She felt like she was cheating on Jax the whole time. They went to dinner and a movie, and when he walked her back to her cousin's apartment she excused herself with a hug. She then cried in the bathroom. Luckily, her cousin was out so she was able to really let it all out.
She tried not to think about what Jax was probably doing because she knew exactly what he was doing. When she talked to Donna she avoided any talk of Jax but surreptitiously got updates via Donna couching it in terms of whatever Opie was doing in the club.
Tara visited her dad during the holidays and would see Donna. They would have lunch and catch up. Donna avoided any talk of Jax and Tara avoided any places she knew he would be. So basically she went to Mass, met with Donna, and hung out with her dad.
Tara graduated in three years and then went Chicago for medical school. From that point on, her dad came to visit her because of her grueling schedule. She was tired of having no life and decided to go out with some friends from school.
She met Joshua Kohn in the bar they were at that night. When they exchanged numbers, he handed her his business card with the ATF logo. She saw that as a good thing, knowing exactly that he was the opposite of everything Jax was. Little did she know that this was an evil omen rather than a good sign.