Chapter Text
I own none of these characters.
"I don't need no one to put me down I'm on the ground, can't get no lower. And I don't need no one to hang around and make me frown just makes me look older. And I don't need no one to black my eye and tell me lies. Don't wanna cry over nobody else. No, no, no, no, I can do bad all by myself.”
By the time Jax arrived at Tara’s with Opie, and the whole fleet of SAMCRO he called in to help find her, the police were there. David Hale had Gemma off with Candy Eglee and Unser with him. Jax almost jumped off his bike before he stopped. “What the actual FUCK is going on here?! Tara called me panicking saying Gemma and Unser were beating on her door and she was afraid Gemma was going to murder her. “
“Baby, it’s all a lie. I came over to talk to her about the baby and she freaked out on me.” Jax shot her a death glare. “What the hell, Ma? I told you to stay away from her!” Before he could say anything else, Hale interrupted, “We can’t get Tara to come out and give a statement. She told us through her door speaker that she wouldn’t come out until you got here.
Hale continued, “Apparently she has a doorbell camera installed too and says she’ll give us the footage when she feels safe enough to come outside.”
Gemma’s face instantly paled at the mention of camera footage and Unser shifted uncomfortably next to Hale.
Jax was impressed that she had a door speaker and camera. Hell, the MC has some basic CCTV monitors but doorbell cameras? Those renovations are some 007 level upgrades. He was instantly relieved and enraged at the same time. He was happy that she had security installed, but upset that this proved exactly why she needed the security. If Gemma was this nuts, what would the Irish do?
Jax went to the door and pushed the button. Tara’s voice came out of the speaker and quietly spoke, “Jax is that you?” His heart skipped a beat at how scared she sounded. “Babe, it’s me. The cops are here too and have Gemma and Unser. All the SAMCRO and charter guys are with me too. You’re safe. Will you come outside?”
The silence was deafening. “I’ll let you in, but only you.” She then whispered, “I will meet you in the kitchen.” Hale nodded his approval. Tara pressed the door lock button from the safe room. Jesus, she thought of everything.
Tara was sitting at the table in the kitchen with a Beretta in her hand when Jax walked in. He walked up to her and pulled her up to him from the chair. The hug lingered a second too long for her rational mind’s liking. Fuck it, she thinks she deserves a good cry after all of the drama she endured today and she gave into the sobbing.
He smelled so good and she always felt safe in his arms. She missed that. They can still be friends and hug it out too, right? Her mind started wandering to other friendly things they could do…damn these pregnancy hormones.
She quickly stepped back from the hug and started talking. “I just wanted to come home and take a nap. I am not going to waste my energy explaining everything. I’m going to email the footage to Hale and will send you a copy too.”
Jax was taken aback by her neutral tone. She wasn’t being dismissive, but he could see the fight or flight walls she always put up when she felt cornered. She used to run away when she was scared but this was a new Tara. She was staying and fighting. He was happy for her in that moment, but also somewhat sad that it took him breaking her heart to bring this out of her.
The house looked brand new and, well, expensive. Tara looked expensive. The kitchen was completely gutted and state of the art. Her wardrobe was definitely upgraded and brought out her natural beauty. He wondered if she had expensive lingerie. Christ, only he could get turned on in the middle of a crisis. Well, they both did that after the Kohn incident so it’s not a stretch.
He shook those thoughts and sat down at the table. “Give Hale a quick statement. He can come in here so you don’t have to see Gemma or Unser.”
Tara began, while trying not to sound overly formal, “Thank you for coming over and getting your mom. This is exactly why I didn’t tell anyone for so long. I will not tolerate this bullshit ever. If there are charges, I’m pressing them.” She has no sense of reason or boundaries.”
“I told her that the baby was my choice, I never said I was explicitly having an abortion. I won’t even have this conversation with you now because I was actually coming to the clubhouse to tell you I was pregnant when I found you with Ima.”
Jax’s stomach dropped out and he started to say something but Tara stopped him. “Protecting me is being an actual adult and talking this out like we started to do when Abel was first kidnapped. It’s not sleeping with anyone else, regardless if they are porn sluts because you know it will hurt me. No one in their right mind thinks that’s the mature way to handle things. Even we knew better than that as teenagers.”
”I am going to take a nap now so please let Hale know I’ll email him the footage and call him tomorrow about a statement. We can sit down later and have a more formal conversation because we do have to come to agreement on custody issues. Here is my lawyer’s card. Either call him yourself or have your attorney call. I recommend you have an attorney so they can go over all the details with you and make recommendations based on what’s best for you too. It’s better to do it this way so that there are less issues once the baby is here. It will allow us to focus on co-parenting.”
Jax was floored, looked at Tara and told her. “I know what I did was wrong and I can never take it back. I love you and know that we need to be together. My life was absolute shit before you came back. Everything bad that has happened is because of who I am and what I do.”
Tara’s heart broke into a million pieces hearing him say that but she had to stay the course, “You didn’t force your life on me and I have tried to see what you see and how you see it, but I can’t. I don’t fit into this life. The lies, violence, and cheating are part of the life, outlaw or not. Especially if you are involved in ‘legit’ businesses like porn. Sex work is not shameful but it is exactly that, sex work, and the logical result, along with the history of your wayward dick, has led us here.”
“This life has also already almost killed my medical career. I wanted so badly to believe that our love, our bond, was stronger than the pull of your history; that you would choose us, and our family, over this life.”
“I have worked way too hard to give up any part of my life, but especially my medical career, for anyone, not even you. I will never risk it again. It’s why I can’t be your ‘mafia doctor’ anymore either, so don’t even ask for me to put a bandaid on someone. Do you know how hard it is to fight against medical license discipline? Or revocation? Administrative Law is a Byzantine labyrinth to navigate on a good day. It is no joke.”
“I can’t live in your life and I can’t ask or make you be someone you are not to fit into mine. We can be parents together in Charming but you are the one who has to change things drastically, if only for the good of yourself and our son.”
Tara walked Jax to the door and kept up the neutral facade until the door closed. That’s when she sunk to the floor and let herself really cry for the first time. Grieving the death of their relationship had always been put off but now she was really able to let herself go.
Jax lingered for a minute and heard her crying. He knew he was a piece of shit and that everything she said was true. For the first time he had absolutely no idea how to even try to salvage even the smallest bit of anything that was left between them.