Chapter Text
I own none of these characters.
“Out of my mind, I am held by the power of you, love. Tell me when do we try. Or should we say goodbye.”
As Tara looked at Jax and then looked at her hand, all she could do was try and get her head back on the rails. Jax was looking at her like he saw a ghost and honestly that’s what she felt like in that moment too. However, she couldn’t help but notice the warmth, strength, and the electricity that happened whenever his hands came into contact with any part of her body.
Even the simplest touch, like holding hands, had her wrecked. Good grief, here she was a grown ass woman swooning like a lovesick teenage girl. He knew exactly what he was doing too; he’d been doing it since she was fourteen years old with the desired effect usually involving her dragging him off to nearest secluded spot and losing all sense and clothing.
The pregnancy hormones, which had her mind doom scrolling off into depression scenarios lately, were now driving her to drag him out to the Cutlass for some relief in the back seat like they were teenagers again. She forced herself to look up at Jax and finally was able to put a sentence together.
“Hey, how are you doing? I was just on my way home from having lunch with Donna and stopped here to get some things.” Tara felt like a case of verbal diarrhea was about to happen so she cut into that impulse and tried to keep it light and breezy. “How have you been? I hear that you’ve been pretty busy.”
Oh fuck, did she just say that? The level of cringe in her brain was 100/10 right now so she forced herself to shut up and not think about the fact that he was obviously stocking up for his run for the gold medal in the Man Whoring Olympics.
Jax looked at her with the shadow of a smirk but seemed to think better and cut right to the chase. “Can we talk? It looks like we need to talk.” It took everything in her not to slap the shit out of him. Really? It’s been eight weeks since he got back and now we have to talk because he saw her at the pharmacy picking up medication? Fuck that noise.
The petty bitch in her came out of hiding but kept it short, sweet and diplomatic. It’s been two months of hell for her, he can wait two more days. “You know, I’m exhausted from running around today and have plans tonight.” I would love to catch up, so how about Tuesday? I’m off and we could meet for lunch.” She really didn’t have plans but there was no way she was going out of her way to accommodate him. And hell, if she was going to put herself through the wringer she might as well get a free meal out of it too.
Jax looked confused but she gave literally zero fucks about what he wanted right now. As long as they’ve known each other, his absolute density when it comes to the fact that not everyone will accommodate him at the drop of a hat never failed to amaze her. He could go have his Saturday night special and sit on it until Tuesday.
He knew better though than to make a scene with her in public. They had some huge blowouts as teenagers and he knew she had a hair trigger temper. She also had a strong feeling he was going to straight line it back to Gemma anyways.
In fact, going to a hotel sounded like a great plan for the next two nights. Gemma was going to beat down her door the minute Jax told her what he saw and she relished the idea of disappearing for two days of spa treatments in Sacramento while they stewed in it.
Jax stuck his hands in his pockets and said, “Sure, how about I pick you up around noon on Tuesday. Tara thought ahead and said, “I’m not really up for a bike ride so I can meet you at Daisy’s.” She really didn’t feel like putting herself in a situation where she would vomit all over his back, even if the thought did give her some degree of satisfaction.
She also wanted to control the narrative. If the conversation went south, she didn’t want to be dependent on him for a ride home. Then she would have to call Donna for a ride, risking Tiny Beast kicking Jax’s ass right out in the middle of Main Street.
Wait. That might be fun. She was definitely calling Donna to be on standby.
He leaned in to give her a hug and she let herself be weak in that moment. Tara felt like she was out of her mind; she missed the familiar scent of motor oil, cigarettes, and that sex in a bottle aftershave he’d worn as long as she had known him. He held her for about ten seconds longer than socially appropriate and it took every ounce of restraint for her not to kiss him on the release.
As she left, she called the Hyatt Regency in Sacramento and booked the deluxe spa package. She stopped to gas up right outside of Charming and headed off for a weekend of rest, relaxation, and satisfaction. With a pinch of schadenfreude for good measure.
October 1994
As Jax led Tara away she looked desperately back to Opie and Donna. Piney yelled out to Jax, “Oh no, you aren’t taking her anywhere we can’t see your hands and dick at all times. And that means right where I can see you.” Jax looked pissed, “Hey old man, I’m just taking her to the bar for a drink. Mom is all good with us drinking as long as we stay here.”
Tara’s brain hit the brakes. “My dad only gave me permission to come here because Piney is chaperoning. I also don’t drink so there’s no need for me to stay anywhere. My curfew is 11 pm.” Opie spit out his beer laughing, “Piney is chaperoning? When did that happen?”
Donna elbowed him in the hip, “Hey, what was that for?” Piney gave Jax and Opie a death glare, “Damn right I’m a chaperone. JT and I served with her dad on two tours of duty in ‘Nam. You lay a finger on that little girl and her dad, me, and the ghost of JT will kick your ass into next week.”
Jax flipped him off and still led Tara away into the clubhouse. “So what do you want to drink? You can drink anything and we will still get you home on time.” Tara was chewing on her bottom lip. “I’ll have a Shirley Temple.” Jax laughed so loud everyone in the clubhouse looked at them. “You’re adorable, Knowles. You really can have the big kids drinks here, I promise no one will slip you a Mickey.”
Tara felt like an idiot but took her drink, “What? I love them. My dad has a full bar in our basement. I’ve tried every drink on the planet and still think a Shirley Temple is the best drink out there.” He looked at her funny so she decided to change the subject. “I really need to change out of my uniform though. Is there a bathroom?”
Oh hell no. Jax knew the bathrooms were NOT the place for anyone to change clothes, and the thought of Tara changing clothes in his dorm room took all the restraint he had not to drag her back there and keep her clothes off. Everything about Tara screamed innocence and he really didn’t want to scare her off. Plus, she looked really hot in the cheerleader get up and if he couldn’t get her naked, this was the next best thing.
“There really isn’t anywhere to change. Just hang out with me and no one will bother you. I promise to be a complete gentleman too.” Tara knew he was full of shit but didn’t feel like questioning him.
It turned out Jax actually was capable of being a gentleman and was fun to talk to. He told her about the motorcycle club. It was a club, not a gang, this was an important distinction for him. He also talked about how much he loved motorcycles, and to her surprise how much he loved reading. He admitted to not being the best student but English was secretly his favorite class and he had an A in it.
She told him all about loving science fiction, fantasy, and dancing. “My mom loved ballet. Before they left Ukraine, she was in a dance school in Kiev. They had to spend all of their money to get to America so she couldn’t continue to take lessons. She signed me up when I was three and I have loved it ever since. It really helped me cope when she got sick with cancer. No matter how bad she felt, she came to every recital. Now it helps me think she would be proud of me for continuing it.”
Jax told her about losing his dad. He never talked to anyone, not even his mom, about losing his dad. He liked how easy it was to talk to Tara. For the first time ever, he actually thought he would like to have a girlfriend. That wasn’t going to happen though. She was in a whole different crowd and he didn’t like the idea of being tied to one girl. He was definitely still going to try and hook up with her though.
Opie, Donna, and Piney came in looking for Tara and Jax. Well, Piney was looking for Jax and to make sure Tara’s virtue was still intact. That kid could charm the pants off of a snake charmer and he really didn’t want Dave Knowles breaking out a can of whoop ass on Jax, or him for that matter.
The kids were at the bar and Donna was relieved that Jax hadn’t dragged Tara off and that his hands were where they could see them. Her and Opie were hitting it off and were talking about going to the movies next weekend.
Jax was dying laughing because neither him nor Opie took girls on dates. Dates took work, and why work for it when Croweaters gave it up for free? He was definitely giving Opie shit after this for being pussy-whipped before getting any pussy.
Music was playing from a jukebox that had mostly hard rock and heavy metal. Jax decided to fuck with Tara, “Are you even allowed to listen to anything besides Mariah Carey?” Tara almost died laughing. She called Donna over to the jukebox where they looked at the songs and decided to fuck with the guys right back.
The dance team had just competed at a regional competition. They were allowed to use any songs they wanted and come up with a routine. “Do you want to see a dance routine we won a competition with? And no it wasn’t a stripping or wet t-shirt contest.” Jax and Opie looked like they hit the jackpot.
They cleared a space in the clubhouse and the girls turned on Kiss Me Deadly by Lita Ford. Jax spit out his beer as the girls proceeded to do a routine that was sexier than anything he had ever seen a stripper do. Holy shit. This was allowed at high school dance competitions? He had definitely found a new pastime.
The Croweaters were cheering the girls on too. They were also taking notes because some of those moves might come in handy with the guys. In fact, Tig was loving it way too much and dragged two Croweaters back to a dorm room right away.
10:30 pm rolled around and Tara was getting ready to call her dad to pick her up. Jax stopped and offered her a ride home. Piney gave him the side eye, but Tara asked her dad if it was ok. He was ok as long as Piney was ok. After Piney set his watch to time the trip, Tara went with Jax. He helped her onto the bike and gave her a helmet. He showed her how to wrap her arms around his waist and they were off.
As they pulled up to the house, he helped her off and she thanked him for a good time, “and being a gentleman.” Jax walked her to the front door and looked at her in that unnerving way that brought on a mixture of desire and fear. She couldn’t help being drawn into a kiss. The way his lips felt, along with the softness of his five o’clock shadow, had that same electrical impulse from her lips to the warm center of her stomach. Her dad opened the door, and she said goodbye.
Years later, she would pinpoint this moment as the one where she was caught in the wicked web of Jackson Teller. No matter how far away, how long she had been gone, or unhealthy it became, this was the moment when she fell in love with him. First love doesn’t die hard, because she could never stop loving him, no matter how hard she tried.