Chapter Text
Simon went into work on Sunday, desperate to get Ryland out of his head. He walked in, past the window he’d seen him through not even 12 hours before. He swallowed and shuffled into the back office.
He made himself busy, checking the toilet was still fixed and going over the schedule for the day. He walked around in a daze, mind spinning from Evie and Rena to Ryland. He’d left Evie with Ava and she was planning to take her over to Rena’s in the afternoon, as Ava had some plans.
He couldn’t stop thinking about what Olesya had said, being worried that something would happen to Rena while she was at home. It was something that had plagued Simon when he had first moved to San Francisco. He was 26 and suddenly solely responsible for his life and the life of a 6 year old. He was constantly terrified something would happen to Evie that he wouldn’t know how to help, resulting in him being unable to sleep unless it was on her floor.
He unloaded the drinks order, declining help from the new delivery driver after he watched Simon pick up 2 crates with one arm. The old delivery driver never questioned anything, Simon missed him.
Libby arrived in the afternoon, just before open. She arrived with gossip about her friend’s ex boyfriend which provided entertainment, but Simon couldn’t really keep track or care all that much about what she was saying.
“-and now she’s pregnant with HIS kid! Isn’t that wild?” she was aggressively mopping the floor to emphasise her point, Simon nodded distantly in response. “Anyway, onto you. Who was that couple you interrupted last night?”
He looked at her vacantly, “Couple I interrupted? What do you mean?”
“When you were leaving. You chatted to the couple that were making out by the window. Although I don’t think they’re an actual couple, the guy left almost instantly.”
Simon didn’t appreciate how much he enjoyed hearing this. “He’s Evie’s form teacher. A friend of mine. I guess.”
Hearing Ryland’s own words out of his mouth felt strange, but he wasn’t wrong. At this point it was better than the truth.
“Ah,” she sighed, eyebrows going up slightly, “Well he seemed very startled by you, the girl he left looked pretty pissed- what did you say?” She’d stopped what she was doing and was now leaning on the mop, moving closer to him suggestively.
“Nothing. I don’t think it had anything to do with me.” He disappeared into the office to force an end to the confrontation.
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“Thanks Dr.G.” Harry said, holding his bag over his shoulder awkwardly.
“No worries buddy.” Grace said, smiling and looking up from his computer.
The referral he’d organised for Harry’s counselling had worked out and he was seeing genuine improvement. It made him feel better on this slightly tragic Monday morning.
After the bar on Saturday, he’d made awkward excuses to Gracie and shuffled off with Adrian and Rocky. He wasn’t too drunk, but enough that he woke up with a pounding headache the next morning.
He did feel better on Monday, if a little sorry for himself. The good encounter with Harry put a spring in his step, only slightly clouded over by the fear of seeing Simon that afternoon. There was no guarantee that he’d even be picking Evie up from school that day, and even if he did, it would be completely normal to leave without saying anything, god knows most parents did. It shouldn’t have felt so awkward, but he’d felt so weird after seeing Simon at the bar that he hadn’t gone any further with Gracie, much to Rocky’s disappointment.
Pick up rolled around and Ryland stood with Evie, waiting anxiously to see which car pulled into the car park. Him and Evie had gotten used to being the last ones there, and Ryland liked hearing about the shows she was watching and the things that she got up to.
“And then I went to see Rena yesterday with Ava.” she said, tracing the ground with a stick from her seat on the step. Ryland was sat on the step above her, bright yellow coat on.
“Oh how is Rena! I heard she’s at home now.”
“Yeah, she’s doing better, Si says she’ll be all fixed up and back to school soon.” She said with a smile, not looking up at him.
“And Libby at the bar is doing a karaoke night on Friday! I’m so excited because Uncle Si said I can go for a bit, as long as I’m out before 8.”
“I love karaoke! That sounds like a lot of fun.”
She nodded and looked up. “Si!”
Simon was climbing out of his car and ambling towards them. “Hey kid.”
Ryland smiled uncomfortably, standing up with a lot less grace then his name would suggest.
“Ryland. How are you?” he said awkwardly.
“Good! Good.” Ryland responded with a slightly too aggressive nod, “And you?”
“Not too bad.”
“I was telling Dr. Grace about karaoke on Friday!” Evie cut through the tension with her cheerful voice. She was very good at that.
“And I’ve told you that Ava is taking you home at 8 because 11 year olds shouldn’t be in bars.” Simon said, his cold tone melting a bit as he ruffled her hair. She rolled her eyes playfully.
Ryland chuckled, “Karaoke’s great! Y’know, Mr E hates it because Mx E is soo much better than him.”
“You should come!” Evie said excitedly. Ryland and Simon shared a look.
“Oh, I mean, I probably shouldn’t.” He retreated in on himself slightly. Simon held his gaze, shrugging with a slight smile. The half smile that Ryland had seen before, an encouraging smile.
“You should.” He said, “It’ll be a good night.”
Ryland shook his head, “I’ll see, I’m not su-”
“Come. Bring your friends.”
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Simon didn’t mean to invite Ryland. It wasn’t a conscious decision. The words came out of his mouth before he realised. He blamed Evie. A bit.
The week went by pretty quickly, despite Beth’s absence and Olesya unable to pick Evie up Simon had found a good rhythm with after school clubs and Libby being his second brain. He didn’t see Ryland all week, whether intentionally or not, but he had other things to focus on.
He woke up on Friday morning with a weird anxiety brewing in his stomach. He told himself that it was just lack of sleep and the logistics surrounding the karaoke night that Libby had planned, but the invitation he’d extended only a few days earlier weighed on his mind. He convinced himself that Ryland had probably forgotten about it and that even if he did show up it would only be out of polite obligation. He wouldn’t let himself go any further than that in his strange mental tunnel. He didn’t care whether he showed up or not.
Evie sat at the table shovelling rice krispies in her mouth out of a chipped stripy bowl. Simon was sitting on the other side of the table, drinking tea and checking his emails on his laptop.
“Who’s picking me up today?” she asked, slurping milk off her spoon.
Simon looked up, over the top of his laptop, “Ava. She’ll get you after school and bring you to the bar for karaoke.”
“Okay,” she kicked her feet against her chair, “is Dr Grace coming?”
Simon cleared his throat, eyes glued to a particularly interesting email about the changing prices of beer. “Maybe. I haven’t seen him since you invited him.”
“You invited him. He’s your friend.”
He grunted at that, picking up his empty mug to put in the sink.
“So Evie said the teacher is coming tonight?”
“Good morning to you too Libby.” Simon grumbled, hardly through the door when he was ambushed with more talk of the science teacher. He hadn’t spoken to him that morning, waving Evie out of the car, pausing only for a second to peer into Ryland’s classroom window and see him sitting on his desk. He was throwing a beanbag in the air and laughing at something. His sleeves were rolled up and Simon couldn’t help but notice just how toned his arms were.
He pushed the thought out of his mind and watched as Evie came into the room with a smile. She said something to Ryland, then pointed in Simon’s direction, who immediately whipped his head around to walk towards his car.
“What? She’s weirdly excited, there’s not a single teacher I would have wanted to see outside of school.” Libby was wearing a black Gorillaz top that fell off her shoulder, revealing a vine tattoo wrapping around her upper arm. She’d picked up Evie from school on Tuesday when Simon was working, and apparently karaoke was all she could talk about.
“We’ll see. I haven’t seen him so he probably won’t remember anyway.” Simon put his bag in the office and started organising the tills.
They worked in silence for a bit, Libby sweeping and organising the tables so there was space in the corner for the karaoke stage. Well, less a stage, more a square of lino with a speaker and microphone connected to her laptop.
Karaoke nights used to be a regular occurrence at the bar, Mark and Libby organising at least one a month. They’d draw a pretty decent crowd and they had some proper regulars who came religiously every time. Simon tried to keep them going once Mark left, but he didn’t have the same enthusiasm, try as he might have done. He was really happy to be doing this one with Libby, she always knew how to get people to come and join in.
They had no idea what to expect in terms of people, however, so Simon got as many of his staff in as possible, with a couple more on standby. He knew how the bar could get.
Rose and Tyler arrived at 2, Milly when they opened at 3 and Dylan, Seb and Maddy at 6.
Ava and Evie appeared at 4, and the whole bar treated them like royalty.
“Ava!”
“Libby!”
The women hugged and instantly began chatting, Ava became this animated around very few people, but Libby brought something out in her. They’d met through Simon, and had become very close over the years.
“Evie!!” The younger bar staff were very happy to see her, and she bounced around talking to all 3 of them at once.
“Tyler, I taught Ollie your card game last week! Milly, I watched the show you recommended! Rose, how’s Beth I miss her sooo much how are your cats?”
Simon smiled, watching her private fan club chatter and high five her, bringing her cokes with umbrellas in them and little snacks.
The bar picked up a little around 5, with the plan to start karaoke at 6.30. Evie let her impatience show, throwing peanuts at Libby when she got bored drawing in her notebook.
The tables began filling up and the bar grew louder, so Simon sat with Evie in the office, trusting his staff to hold down the fort.
“How was school kid?”
“Fine.” She shrugged, twisting her scraggly hair around her finger. Evie had quite curly dark brown hair which was usually scraped into a ponytail or, when she stayed with Ava, a pair of plaits which she’d keep in for as long as possible. Simon had tried his best but braiding was one thing he’d accepted he wouldn’t be able to do with one arm.
“Just fine?” he prodded. She shrugged again.
“I miss Rena.” She looked down at her feet. Simon sighed and moved to put his arm around her.
“I know buddy, it’s really hard.” he stroked her hair carefully, moving the loose strands out of her face, “But she'll be back to school so soon.”
He felt her nod into his side and hugged her closer. They stayed like that for a moment before a shout broke the silence.
“Evie! Look who’s here!”
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“I cannot believe that you want to go to karaoke.” Rocky said on Friday afternoon, leaning against the sink in the staff room, coffee mug in hand.
“I like karaoke!” Grace said defensively, putting his hands up.
“Sure, but not enough to actively pursue it.” He responded, pushing his glasses up his nose, “Who’d you say invited you?”
Grace looked around sheepishly, “Evie.”
“Evie?! As in the student?”
“Well no! Simon invited me but I think it was her idea.”
“And last week you didn’t want to go into his bar because it’s ‘weird seeing the kids guardians’ out and about.” Rocky sighed, rolling his eyes.
“Yeah, I think we’re friends now.” Grace wrapped his hands around the mug of coffee he’d just poured, watching the milk swirl around the surface.
Rocky raised an eyebrow, Grace caught his gaze.
“I don’t even know if I want to go anyway.” he said, a bad attempt at dismissiveness.
“Sure.”
He stared between three similar button up shirts, one a dark charcoal, another navy and the third a dark green. Ryland wasn’t exactly sure why this decision felt so heavy, but Simon always seemed so… put together that he thought he may as well make an effort. He landed on the navy blue shirt with a black jacket. Rocky and Adrian arrived at his flat a bit later, bringing a bottle of wine and a lot of questions.
“Is it true you’re going to this bar tonight because an eleven year old invited you?” Adrian said before they could cross the threshold into his apartment. The couple walked in without proper invitation, Rocky making himself comfortable on the sofa while Adrian grabbed 3 glasses for the wine.
“No. An 11 year old prompted my friend to invite me to an event at his bar.”
Rocky and Adrian shared a look.
“Oh he’s your friend now?” They said, smirking in Rocky’s direction.
“Yes.” Grace took a glass from Adrian and had a sip, “We haven’t hung out per se, but we talk a lot at pick up. And at the bar those two times. And I bandaged up his hand once.”
“Sounds like best friends to me,” Adrian chuckled.
“Whatever. Maybe this invite is him saying he wants to be actual friends? God knows I need better ones.”
Rocky flicked an elastic band that he had been playing with at the back of Grace’s head.
“Ow! Case in point!”
“Sure, he could want to be friends,” Adrian said warmly, putting their hand on Ryland’s, “Or maybe it’s something more than that.”
Rocky’s head immediately perked up and he made direct eye contact with Adrian, shaking his head subtly.
“What?” Grace said, confused, looking between the two.
“Well buddy, you did say it yourself when you first met him, you said he was gorgeous.” Adrian said, very calmly.
“To his face!” Rocky added, less calmly.
“Did I?” Ryland said, brow furrowing. He tried to think back to that first night, the night he got dumped. He remembered thinking that Simon was pretty attractive, but saying it? Out loud?
He brought his hand up to his face, “So what do you think? That he thinks I’m…. interested in him?”
Rocky cleared his throat and readjusted himself on the sofa. Adrian poured another glass of wine.
“Maybe.” They finally said, putting the glass down, “Are you?”
Ryland stared at them incredulously, willing his mouth to say ‘Of course not! Why would you think that?’ but it wouldn’t come out.
“I- I don’t know. I’m not gay?” he shook his head, hand shaking slightly. Adrian squeezed it, trying to catch his eye line.
“Hey, hey it’s fine! You don’t have to think about this right now, and if you’re not ready for it, no one needs to know, you just don’t go tonight.”
He scrunched his eyes up, still shaking his head, lump building in his throat.
He’d always been open to the possibility that he liked men, but being in a relationship for so long had rendered it pointless. He thought back to Simon, how gorgeous he had looked when they’d met but also how gorgeous he was day to day. Jumping out of his car with his hair scraped back into a ponytail, revealing the pink scars running down his cheek. The tight compression shirts he wore that showed his well-toned arm and chest. He thought about how Evie talked about him, how well he was raising her alone despite their past, or what little Ryland knew about it. He thought about how patient he was with him, entertaining his rambles with genuine interest, instead of brushing him off like most parents in that playground. And he thought about the feeling of the larger man’s hand in his when he was bandaging him up. The warmth that had spread throughout him, and the eye contact the stone faced man had held when it was all over.
“What does it mean?” he said eventually, looking up to meet Rocky and Adrian’s concerned faces. “If he invited me, for that reason.”
“It means whatever you make it.” Adrian said softly, “It means that if you don’t feel the same, you can act as his friend and make that clear, and if you do…”
“If I do?”
“Then you make a move,” Rocky perked up, pushing his elbow into Grace’s.
“But! But we don’t need to go if you don’t want to.” Adrian reassured, ignoring Rocky’s disappointed face.
Grace nodded. “Okay. Give me a second to think.”
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“Evie! Look who’s here!” the voice came from the bar. Evie took her head away from Simon and jumped up, smiling at Simon before running out of the office.
Ryland was here.
Simon felt all of the anxiety bubble back up into his stomach and had to take a breath to let it settle. Then he pushed himself off the chair, took another deep breath, and went out to see him.
“Beth!” Evie shouted, and there she was, picking the girl up in a hug, swinging her around while she giggled madly.
Ryland was not here.
She returned to the ground and turned to Simon, who was hiding by the office door, the emotional whiplash he’d experienced overwhelmingly evident on his face.
“Beth’s here!” Evie shouted, causing customers to turn. They struggled to care, however, seeing how happy the young girl was.
“Hey Beth.” Simon shook it off and went in to hug her.
“Hey Si!” She smiled wide and hugged him back. Her voice was hoarse and she was quite pale, but other than that she looked okay.
“How are you? How’s your mouth?”
She opened her mouth to show everyone her lack of tonsils proudly. “Great.” she garbled, mouth still wide open. Evie giggled uncontrollably, hanging onto everything Beth said. Beth composed herself a bit and turned back to Simon.
“How are you Si?”
“Never better kid.” he said defiantly, in a way that required no follow up questions.
“What are you doing here?!” Evie asked, eyes shining like a cartoon.
“Rose told me and of course I couldn’t miss karaoke!” she said loudly, voice cracking and straining with the effort.
“Like her singing couldn’t get any worse.’” Rose added with a smirk, kissing Beth on the cheek. As Evie and Beth carried on catching up, Simon slid back into the office.
“You’re waiting for your teacher. Aren’t you?” Libby’s voice came from the corner of the office.
“He’s not my teacher.” Simon grumbled.
“But you are waiting for him.” she twirled her black hair around her finger, getting it slightly caught in her red acrylic nail.
“Mmm,” he looked down at the desk, avoiding eye contact, “I really don’t think he’s coming.”
“Si! Look who’s here!”