Work Text:
prologue,
deja vu
___
"And then it comes, I soon forget this is how it felt , when we first met"
-- Lang Leav, Deja Vu
꥟
༄.°DO you get deja vu when he's with you?
Yes, all the time.
When I was ten, I had a vision about the partner of my dreams. He looked to be my age, though he held himself like a royal; their sharp jaw raised to the heavens as he bared his white teeth. It was a grin, I'm sure, but the fire in their sharp eyes held more than a kid. Even at ten years old, he looked fit to lead. I could see the battles they'd fight in the years to come and the bets they would win.
But for now, he was just a kid, and I, his friend. He reached out for me, his palms calloused from work and play when they held mine. Dark hair fell into his eyes, and he pushed them away with purple stained fingers before pulling me towards the field of tall grass.
"Come on, Timey!" Azure sung in their youthful tenor. "You won't believe what beautiful nightshades I found!"
"I don't want to go!" I protested, locking my knees to stay in place. The voice that came from my throat was not my own, but in that moment, I didn't seem to care. Much like watching a good movie, I was simply embodying another character. At my age, I saw nothing wrong with this.
"Oh, come on!" He groaned. "What are you so scared of?"
You.
"You know exactly what," I said. "Besides, I don't see the point when you could just as easily bring the flowers here."
"But it's the experience of finding the flowers that makes it so exciting," the boy answered, grinning from cheek to cheek. He squeezed my hand. "Pleaaaaase?"
In the end, I knew it was hopeless to fight. If he wanted, he could simply order me to go. Despite the friendship that's bloomed between us, his word was still the final say. It was frustrating. Just thinking about it made me want to scream and beat my arms across his chest. How dare he live such a glamorized life when I had nothing? It just didn't seem fair.
On the other hand, however, he could have nothing in the world but the clothes on his back and I would still follow him to the ends of the Earth.
"Fine," I huffed, "but only because you asked."
Somehow that cherished grin spread, and he dragged me to the field. We climbed the unsteady rocks, laughing when the grass brushed against our legs and faces. The boy found an especially tall boulder, and balanced on top of its sharp slope. He threw his head back, laughing like a wild dog as he stretched his arms to the winds. I just watched him from afar, admiring his youthfulness. I wish I could be like that.
We spent a good three hours on that beach, searching the field for daisies and small animals. Azure found a violet-colored flower as large as his forearm, gasping as he gripped it in both hands.
"Do you think it will glow the brightest out of all nightshades in the dark?" he asked me.
"I don't know," I shrugged.
He raised it to his nose and smelled. Did it smell like lavender? I wondered. I wanted to ask, but such a dumb question restrained me from doing so. Azure laughed at himself, collapsing to the ground in a fit of near hysteria.
"Come, join me," he said, patting the empty spot beside him.
I did, sitting nearly shoulder to shoulder with him. There was a sharp rock underneath my hip, but other than that, the position was fairly comfortable. I folded my hands over my chest, and closed my eyes, listening to the wind blowing trees.
"Promise me you'll never leave," the boy said suddenly. He was so quiet I wasn't sure I even heard him right.
"Pardon?" I asked, turning to look at him. He stared back, his eyes as blue as the ocean's.
"Promise me you won't leave."
"I... I promise," I said.
Azure turned his head back towards the sky, nodding. "Good."
I woke up shortly after.
꥟
Spawnism. A religion or perhaps, a ̶c̶u̶l̶t̶.
When, where, and why it was made...remains a mystery.
I was born into this ̶c̶u̶l̶t̶. I didn't have a choice. It was destined to be my ̶f̶a̶t̶e̶
But who knew this religion would be where I met him.
Amarah wrapped an arm around my shoulder. "Come on, he just wants to be your friend." In front of me stood a young Azure.
"Hi," he said with a smile.
꥟
My latest vision I had was after I turned eighteen. Time really goes by fast, am I right?
In this vision, they don't allow me and Azure to do things together sometimes. This is our 5th time sneaking out together at night.
Every time me and him would meet up at the same field at nighttime when no one was awake, Azure always brought me a bouquet of fresh, glowing violet flowers. I lost count of how many I have stashed in the corner of my room. I even bought vases, filled them with water, and keep them alive.
The smell of flowers filled Azure's nostrils as he held the bouquet in front of me.
"It is...pleasant, spending time with you. I believe I enjoy your company quite deeply more than others considerably more."
"I feel the same, Azure," I confessed. "Our companionship means the world to me."
"Yes, I...I'm happy to hear that."
"Thank you for the gift. Lovely as always."
As Azure gifted the flowers to them, our fingers brushed against each other. I caught a glimpse of Azure's blush, the redness spreading across his face. If looks could kill, I'd be six feet under right now.
I had never seen him react like that before.