Zoro doesn't need to look to know where he is.
Fans whir. Water burbles in the little creek just outside their rental house. He can hear Luffy whooping in the distance, somewhere outside, along with Nami's shrill, scolding tone. A scratchy throw rug beneath him, wooden wall against his spine. Sweat trickles down his neck.
He knows exactly where he is. He knows when he is too.
It's the same damn day. Again. He wants to beat his head against the wall out of frustration. It has been ten days, except it's really only been one day, because he's stuck living the same day over and over again. He's combed the island from top to bottom, and still hasn't found the stupid devil fruit user behind this curse. Another fruitless search means yet another day stuck on this island, trying to break the loop while his clueless crewmates relive the same events.
Zoro cracks open his eye. There are seven cats in the room. All in the same spots and positions as they were when this stupid cycle started. They doze, torpid in the summer heat. A part of him wishes he could join them. He feels like he's been on his feet for ten days; technically he has, since he's spent every day after the first trying to get out. No time for naps. His head throbs, but he ignores it. The only upside to this situation is the opportunity to work on his stamina.
He forces himself to sit up. Everyone else is out right now. He grimaces, glancing at the closed door across the way. Almost everyone is out, anyway. He knows exactly who is behind that door, and he hates that he knows.
As if on cue, a soft sound comes from within.
"Oh!"
Zoro glowers.
"Ah, Sanji!"
Zoro thunks his head back against the wall.
Every. Damn. Day.
"Yes," Usopp sighs. "Sanji, please—!"
Always before he has the chance to leave the house and its ridiculously thin walls.
Zoro is tired. His head hurts. It's too fucking hot on this stupid island, and it's too stuffy in this stupid house. Usopp and the stupid love cook are too damn loud.
Irritation boils up. It's not just that they've been loud the past few days (day, multiplied). Ever since they got together it's been weeks of walking in on them snogging, walking in on them with their hands in each other's clothes, hearing them whisper sickly sweet nothings to each other as they cuddle in the men's room at night, pecks and compliments and flirty banter and handholding right in front of the crew in broad daylight.
Zoro is sick of it.
He stands and stomps over to their room. Cats scatter, hissing and yowling as he disturbs their rest. Zoro rips open the sliding door
"Ah, ah, Sanjiii—!"
They don't see him at first, too wrapped up in each other to notice the intrusion.
Usopp is sprawled on his back. Hands clenching the sheets at his sides. Head thrown back, hair loose and spread like an ink spill on the pale pillow. His flushed chest heaves, mouth open as a stream of sighs, moans, and near unintelligible cries of Sanji's name pour from his lips. He is completely naked.
Sanji's head is buried between Usopp's thighs.
Zoro can't see what exactly he's doing, but he can hear it. Slick, wet sounds, audible even over Usopp's moans. It's worse than sitting next to Luffy at a banquet.
"Will you two shut the hell up?!"
Usopp screams. Not the sweet, pleasured cries he was just making but an actual scream, like when a sea beast takes a swing at the Sunny or some powerful enemy pops up out of nowhere. He jumps. His body goes taut with shock, and his legs lock around Sanji's head, trapping him between plush thighs. Surprise quickly turns into ire.
"Zoro! What the hell!?" Usopp grabs a pillow and hurls it at him.
Zoro bats it aside. "Quit making your sex life everyone else's problem!"
"You're the one with a problem! Get out!"
Sanji is frantically trying to extract himself from the headlock Usopp has him in. He strains, smacking and prying at Usopp's legs, but anger has Usopp's legs clamped tight. Squashed as he is between Usopp's thick thighs and pussy, the stupid cook probably can't breathe. If Zoro wasn't so tired and irritated, he'd find it funny. Serves the bastard right.
"I am sick of hearing you two screwing day in and day out!"
"Get out!"
Sanji finally pries Usopp's legs apart. He pulls himself out and furiously rounds on Zoro. His face is red, though Zoro can't tell if it's from anger or asphyxiation. Thankfully he's wearing underwear, though unfortunately not much else. He wipes his mouth with the back of one hand. His chin is soaked in fluid, and, Zoro disgustedly notes, there's a thin trail of blood leaking from one nostril.
Gross.
"Get out, you shitty mosshead!" Sanji attacks.
Zoro blocks his first kick, but he is exhausted and Sanji is running on the rage of interrupted sex, which is nuclear level fuel for a man who fights with the power of love. Sanji knocks his sword aside and kicks him in the gut.
The force of his next kick forces Zoro back through the door. Before Zoro can regain his footing and retaliate, he trips over one of the stupid cats. The cat screeches and launches itself at him. Zoro curses as its claws dig into his calf. He manages to twist and land in a half kneeling position. He grabs the cat by the scruff, ripping it off of his leg and tossing it away.
The sliding door to Usopp and Sanji's room slams shut, and Zoro is left with only seven puffed up and hissing cats for company.
Zoro glares at the door. He could easily bust through it and continue the fight. Part of him wants to. Instead, he stands and storms out.
The faster he finds the devil fruit user, the sooner he can be done with this ridiculous routine.
Hours later, Zoro is scouring the island when suddenly the rental house appears in front of him. He squints at it, wondering how it got here when he was searching the opposite side of the island. He shrugs, deciding not to put too much thought into it. Luffy probably did something.
He doesn't bother going inside. The sun is getting low in the sky, and unless he wants to repeat the day again, he'll need to get back to searching soon. However, it won't hurt to take a few minutes to cool off in the creek running along the back of the house.
He's only just taken off his boots when he hears footsteps. Zoro turns to find Sanji standing in the open doorframe that leads to the back deck that hangs over the creek. He has a platter piled high with slices of watermelon.
"I'm going to bet you haven't had anything to eat today," Sanji says. Zoro hates when he's right, even if it's his own fault. "So even though you're an asshole who can't respect private moments, you better eat this watermelon, and you better come inside for dinner in an hour. I don't let people go hungry, even if they are just tantrum throwing marimos."
"It wasn't a tantrum."
"Oh? Then were you just that desperate for attention? Or are you more perverted than I thought?"
"No!" Irritation boils up once more.
"Usopp is gorgeous, I can't blame you for wanting a peek, but he's mine."
"Shut up! That's not it, you fucking pervert hypocrite!" Zoro snapped. "I was sick of hearing you assholes. Every single day for the last ten days, I've woken up to you two being loud and disgusting. I'm tired of putting up with it!"
From the others' point of view, the crew has only been on the island for one day, but Zoro doesn't care if Sanji doesn't understand what he's talking about. The day will just reset anyway and Sanji will forget because Zoro still hasn't found the devil fruit user, and he is unlikely to find her in the next few hours even if he suddenly gains super speed.
Sanji snorts, and Zoro's hand goes to his swords.
"I don't care," Sanji says. "I decided I wasn't going to risk the day we break out of this being the one day I don't give Usopp his breakfast surprise, so suck it up."
Zoro's thoughts come to a screeching halt.
Eye twitching, he turns to stare at Sanji. When Sanji does nothing but puff on his cigarette, as if he hasn't just broken Zoro's brain, Zoro explodes.
"YOU KNEW ABOUT THE DAY REPEATING!?"
"Yes?" Sanji gives him a derisive look. "Obviously we're stuck in a time loop. You didn't realize we're both aware of it?"
Zoro sputters. To say he knew would be a lie, but to say he didn't know would be to admit Sanji had bested him.
Sanji smirks. Damn him. Zoro's hesitation was all the answer he needed.
"Does Usopp also…?" Is everyone aware of it? Zoro will die of shame if he didn't notice the whole crew knowing about it.
"No, we're the only ones who remember. I did tell Usopp what is going on though. We've spent the last few loops trying different measures to break out."
"You didn't think to tell me?"
Sanji sneers. "You were too busy running yourself ragged around the island. If you had come to eat with the rest of us, or asked anyone for help, then you would have known."
Zoro clenches his jaw so hard his teeth grind. He scrounges up the last dregs of his patience, trying to keep his focus on the important part of what Sanji just said.
"What do you mean, different measures?"
"Usopp's read a lot of books on this kind of thing," Sanji says. "This fruit has been famous for ages and inspired a lot of legends and stories. He had several suggestions for breaking the loop. We've narrowed our options down the last few loops, and we're fairly confident we know what to do this time."
"Well? Have you done it?"
"No."
"Why not?!"
"I'm still deciding."
"Deciding what? If you know how to break the loop, then do it!" This insufferable asshole. "What could you possibly want to wait for?"
Sanji gives him a baleful look. He takes a long drag on his cigarette before answering. "Every morning, I've given Usopp mind blowing head. All except this morning, when a stinky little mossball decided to interrupt."
Zoro's eye twitches.
Sanji continues, "I haven't decided yet, if I want to let the loop reset and give Usopp the morning he deserves, or…"
"Or what?" Zoro grits out. He's going to kill him. He's really, actually going to kill this sex-addled dartbrow idiot this time.
"Or if I should break the loop now, while Usopp is super pissed at you and planning vengeance. It's a difficult choice. Usopp is sexy when he's angry, and I get the added bonus of watching you suffer."
Fuck time loops, and fuck this stupid cook.
Zoro draws his swords and lunges.
Sanji promptly kicks him into the creek. When Zoro bursts out of the water, ready to fight, he's already walking away. The plate with the watermelon slices sits on the edge of the deck.
"Eat your watermelon, you shitty swordsman. Just because you're in a time loop doesn't mean you shouldn't eat." With that, Sanji walks inside, slamming the door behind him.