It was the middle of the night when Impulse opened his eyes, looking back at his king, his love, giving him a gentle kiss on the forehead.
And yet —regardless of his love— he left, silently tip-toeing out, grabbing only the bare necessities before sneaking out of Dogwarts’ walls.
Because he wanted to win so badly, it was getting over his head, and their eyes wouldn't meet again till the battle.
Broken, betrayed, disappointed. It broke him. Then Ren died. He felt alone, regretting his choices.
So yes, he did feel it was deserved when death came for him too.