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Solving All Your Problems and Saving the World: A Speed Run

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“Well, I think we can officially call that a roaring success,” Sakura declared. “Now we just need to wait and see how things turn out. Sasuke, have you noticed any changes yet?”

“I think people are talking to us more,” Sasuke reported. “Mostly about the musical, but still.”

“I saw a bunch of guys wearing our shirts!” Naruto crowed. “We got Hashirama merch all over Konoha, believe it!”

“The Madara ones are really popular too,” Sasuke added grudgingly.

“Perfect. Nice work, team!” There was a round of Sakura-induced high fives, before she settled everyone down again.

“Alright, onto the next stage of our plan. Has anyone heard of Danzo?”

“Who’s that?” Naruto asked loudly.

Sasuke frowned. “…He’s on the Council of Elders, isn't he?”

“That’s right. So listen up.” Sakura leaned in very close towards their faces, smushing all their heads together. “Danzo is the enemy. Danzo is the great, eyeball-stealing evil, and we have to take him down! Thankfully, I have a plan.”

“Sakura-chan’s plans are the best,” Naruto said adamantly.

As of yet, they hadn’t been that terrible, but Sasuke wasn’t willing to go quite that far. “What’s your plan?” He didn’t do a very good job at keeping the suspicion out of his tone.

“It’s a somewhat complicated, multi-step plan,” Sakura said evasively. “I’m going to need all your help. But I know we can do it! And hopefully not even get speared to death while we’re at it!”

Naruto puffed out his chest. “You can count on me, Sakura-chan!”

Sasuke glanced at Naruto, then firmed his expression. “Of course we can do it.”

“That’s more like it! Okay, but to get at Danzo, there’s one more person we need. Well, actually, group of people, but hopefully we’ll only have to recruit one.”

Sasuke crossed his arms. “Is it another weird jounin?”

“Nope! They’re even in our class. So… who wants to befriend Hyuuga Hinata?”

—

Iruka gazed at the three faces staring up at him and did his absolute best not to flinch.

There was Uchiha Sasuke: focused, determined. Reserved in class, but competitive and eager during exercises.

Haruno Sakura: keen, enthusiastic, and just a touch maniacal. But in a good way! He’d never met a student so… passionate about such odd subjects.

And then there was him.

At first, Iruka hadn’t been able to look at the boy without seeing the world painted in red. Overwhelming terror, inescapable violence… and then that empty, crushing feeling that had stayed with him ever since the dust had settled. He had recovered since then, bolstered by his friends and the Hokage’s support, but even still, there was something missing.

Looking at the Kyuubi’s host was like running straight into the jaws of the monster he had always tried to suppress. On some level, Iruka understood it was unfair to the boy. He had pleaded with the Hokage, begged him to understand why he just couldn’t teach like this.

But on the first day of class, the boy was there anyway — those black whiskers burned like claw marks into his cheeks.

On that first day, the boy had acted out. He had been resisting, and impertinent, and uncontrollable. Iruka hadn’t been able to see him as a boy at all. But these past few weeks…

Seeing him playing, laughing, stumbling about and making friends? It had shaken him up enough to provide that shift in worldview that Iruka had needed to finally see that he was a child just like any other.

And so seeing the three children now and looking straight into the boy’s— Naruto’s eyes, he told himself the only fear he needed to feel was the concern of what these three seemingly innocent individuals were up to.

“Sensei!” Sakura said cheerily. “Do you have a minute?”

Iruka leaned down slightly, putting a more friendly smile on his face. “Of course. Did you have any questions about today’s lesson?”

“We did, actually,” Sakura replied promptly.

“We were very interested in the Nidaime’s last stand against the Gold and Silver Brothers,” Sasuke said. His tone was slightly stiff, but somewhat sincere all the same. “And where we could learn more about it.”

“Yeah! It was super cool!” Naruto cheered. “Cause he went back and protected his students, and tried to fight them all off by himself! Like, swoosh, wssh, whap! He’s a hero!”

Iruka couldn’t help the added upturn to his lips. “I’m glad you were all so interested in the lesson. The Nidaime was a very special man, and important to our history here in Konoha. We’ll be moving on to our next unit in class, but I can give you some books… or… hm…”

He considered the situation. Iruka wasn’t sure if they were all at a high enough reading level yet, but as a teacher, he definitely wanted to nourish their excitement and curiosity.

“You know what would be cool, Iruka-sensei?” Sakura cut in. “What if we could hear more stories from back in Konoha’s history? It would be really great to learn more about what happened back then! I really like getting to know all the details — the stuff that doesn’t make it into the history books. Imagine if we could speak to the Nidaime or the Shodaime themselves!”

Iruka smiled knowingly. “Ah, you must be fans of the recent play, aren’t you? Hashirama the Musical… it was very well-done, even if it wasn’t entirely historically accurate.”

A shallow snorting noise came from his left, but when he turned to look, Sasuke’s face was completely impassive.

“It was pretty cool,” Sakura said confidently. “But what I’m really talking about is getting the chance to hear from real people who were around back then. I’m sure we could learn a lot from them. Our elders have so much to share! And they deserve a chance to tell their stories too, you know?”

“A-ah, that’s quite the idea, Sakura-chan,” Iruka stuttered. Was it strange that he was feeling slightly overwhelmed? Each word came out with such vigour. How could there be so much force of personality in such a small body?

“I wanna hear from people who were there!” Naruto declared. “They can tell us about saving people, and cool battles, and all the jutsus!” Even Sasuke was nodding in avid agreement.

“I’ll think about it,” Iruka said helplessly. And he was thinking about it. Really. In fact, the more he considered it, the more appealing the idea seemed to become. Iruka was always searching for interactive activities, exercises that could engage the children’s interests. Having speakers come in was an excellent idea. And if he managed to pull in some of the elders… they had actually been there during the Nidaime’s last battle, hadn’t they? His students would be delighted.

“We could spar! We could have a tournament!” Sakura pushed. “The elders could get to see our progress and get to know what it’s like at the Academy these days, and they could even offer us advice.”

“Yeah! Yeah!” Naruto cheered.

Iruka sighed. “Well, I can’t promise anything, but it’s definitely a thought for later. I really am happy with how you’re engaging with the material though. Keep it up, you three!”

Naruto grinned. “You’re the best, Iruka-sensei!”

Sasuke nodded. “...Thank you.”

“It really would be a good idea,” Sakura pressed. “Such a great learning experience, right?”

Iruka raised his hands, laughing helplessly. “I’ll consider it, I promise.”

She nodded, satisfied. “I believe you. Thanks, Iruka-sensei!” Sakura finally swept off, Naruto and Sasuke in tow.

It wasn’t a bad idea at all though. Iruka wasn’t sure if it would pan out, but the elders weren’t all that busy, were they? And surely they would be inclined to help teach the future generation and bolster Konoha morale.

…Maybe Iruka would mention the idea to the Hokage later.

Still, in the back of his mind, all he could see was the satisfied glint in Sakura’s eyes. Was it just him, or had she looked way too pleased about this?

–

“It’s not working,” Naruto exclaimed. “She keeps running away from me!”

“I guess that’s not entirely surprising.” Sakura looked thoughtful. “Alright, here’s what we’re going to do. Let’s just go after her.”

Sasuke hit her with a particularly skeptical look. “Go after her?”

“Not like, in a press ganging way or anything!” Sakura said hastily. “Just, you know. Steal her away for a little bit. And then we’ll make friends.” She cracked her knuckles. It was not very friendly.

“Come on!” Sakura gestured impatiently. “She’s probably walking home now. Let’s go!”

There was a brief period where the three of them put their best stalking skills to the test. They found Hinata walking down the street back to the Hyuuga compound, accompanied by an older boy.

“Hinata-chan!” Naruto waved at her wildly.

“Ee-eep—” Hinata’s face immediately went crimson red.

“Heyyy Hinata,” Sakura said cheerily. “We’re just going to steal you away for a second. Okay? Okay!” She grabbed her hand and rushed off, dragging a flustered Hinata behind her.

They ended up in an alleyway. Sasuke walked in to Sakura pinning Hinata to the brick wall.

“We’re going to be best friends from now on,” Sakura informed her. She slammed her hand into the crumbling brick emphatically, and little pieces of shale fluttered away.

“W-wait, but I’m still your best friend, right, Sakura-chan?” Naruto said, wide-eyed.

“Take your hands off her.”

From behind them all came the taller boy, long hair swishing and pale eyes flashing. “Hinata. Come.”

Sasuke frowned. “Who are you?”

“Hyuuga Neji,” he said shortly. “I won’t repeat myself. Let’s go.”

“I-it’s okay,” Hinata stammered. She shrunk into herself slightly. “I d-don’t mind…”

“Pathetic. You can’t even defend yourself, can you?” He made a sound of disgust, before striding down the alleyway to grab Hinata’s arm.

“Ohhh,” Sakura said knowingly. “You’re still in your jerk phase, aren’t you. You haven’t had your character development yet!”

Neji paused, then very slowly turned around. “…Excuse me?”

Sasuke recognized that tone from his mother. The overly polite, clipped words were a big, blinking indicator that it was time to backpedal, and fast. Unfortunately, Sakura didn’t appear to get the message.

“You’re still in your jerk phase,” she repeated. Her hands flew out, gesturing excitedly. “But that’s okay. We can fix it! Neji, you have to let go of the inevitability of fate and strive for your own happiness!”

Neji stared her down, pure derision in his eyes. “What would you know of fate?”

“I mean, it definitely does exist, at least to some extent,” Sakura admitted easily. “That’s kinda just the way things work here. But why would you think you can know what your fate is already? Everyone still needs to try.”

Neji sneered. “To try and be shot down? There’s no point at all. It’s perfectly evident who is born fortunate and who will lead a life of worthlessness. If you’re such a fool as to believe otherwise, try all you like. You’ll quickly find it’s useless.”

Naruto bristled, fists clenched. “You’re wrong! Thinking like that… it’s a stupid way to think! I’m gonna be great one day! I’m gonna be Hokage, and no stupid fate is gonna stop me!”

“You tell him, Naruto!” Sakura cheered. She stood up taller, smushing her hands around Neji’s cheeks. “You better shape up, man. You can be mopey, but you can’t be mean, got it?”

Neji slapped her hands away in disgust. “Never talk to me again.”

“I mean it though,” Sakura emphasized. “Better to learn it now than to dwell in misery for another five years or so.”

“You’re an arrogant nobody who will never amount to anything.”

Naruto shrieked in indignation. Sakura’s eyes glinted. “Don’t worry, I haven’t given up yet! Alright, plan two. We’re doing character development the classic way. Get him!”

And with that, she pounced.

Neji went down with a muffled shout, Sakura right on top of him. It almost looked like she was attempting to shove his face into the dust, her fingers tangled in the back of his hair.

“If talk no jutsu fails—” She huffed out heavily through gritted teeth, all the while trying to maintain her position on top. “It’s time for punch no jutsu!”

For a second, it looked like she was winning, but then Neji clearly recovered from the surprise. Sakura tumbled over with a yelp as Neji managed to shove her off, jabbing her harshly in the side.

She didn’t stay down for long though. Her eyes were as bright as ever as she went in for a second charge. Neji was prepared this time though, and dealt her a punishing blow in the stomach. Sakura folded, wheezing.

“Hey!” Naruto roared, but Sakura was louder.

“It’s vital to the future that we beat his face in! Pile him!”

Naruto leapt on his back with a yell. Sasuke stood and stared for just a second, but he wasn’t one to be left out. He slid in, tackling Neji back to the ground. With all three of them, it was much easier to send Neji sprawling.

Hinata reached out tentatively. “N-Neji-san—”

“Character development, take that!” Sakura shouted. She reached out, clutched at Neji’s head, and slammed both their skulls together.

They both recoiled with loud exclamations of pain, clutching at their heads.

“None of us are useless nobodies!” Naruto growled. “And I’m gonna prove it!”

“W-wait,” Hinata stammered.

Sasuke levered Neji’s arm away painfully. Naruto punched him in the chest, then drew his fist back again to sock him in the face.

“Stop!”

They all froze.

Hinata was panting, hand out, eyes blazing. She faltered slightly as they all turned to look at her, blip and firmed her stance. “Y-you may want to be friends, a-and Neji-san may not like me due to my position…” Her voice trembled, but she didn’t stop. “B-but he is still my family. If you’re g-going after him, then I will defend him.”

Neji frowned, forehead red and bruised. “Hinata…”

Sakura hopped up with a pained grimace, but the grin that followed was still real. “That’s right, because you still care about him, don’t you? You don’t think less of him for being a branch family member?”

Hinata shook her head fervently. “N-no!”

“You think he still deserves a chance to succeed despite his circumstances?”

“O-of course!”

Sakura clapped a hand on Hinata’s shoulder, then turned back and did the same to Neji. He didn’t even brush her off this time.

“Then I think you guys should talk it out. There’s always someone willing to help, you know? You're not really as trapped as you might think.”

She strode out of the alleyway, gesturing for Sasuke and Naruto to follow her.

Naruto clambered off sheepishly, scratching the back of his neck. “Hehe… sorry Hinata-chan! I hope you get rid of your jerk phase, Neji!”

Sasuke simply huffed and walked away.

And over her shoulder, Sakura tossed them both an overexaggerated wink.

“You can do it! Hey, if you still want to be friends after, you know where to find me!”

—

One day later, Hinata approached them after school, a determined expression on her face. Neji stood at her shoulder.

“L-let’s be friends!”