fanfiction.lol^{fun, silly, low-stakes fandom}

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It's a cold morning, one that Pwnatious would be hard-pressed to get out of bed for.

Pwnatious has a business to run, clothes to tailor, and tea to put on the stock market. Though why would they want to wake up when it's just so comfortable in bed with… him?

About him, Traffic, his business is… strange, at best. He prefers trading things over getting cash. What could cash NOT do for one's life? What could he possibly be earning from having objects of no value?

They suppose it's not that big of a deal since he's still doing well enough to eat and sleep. His hygiene was another concern though, one Pwnatious took to solving shortly after they got together. It's worth it though, a clean and rested Traffic is a comfortable Traffic, which is a comfortable bed they just can't get out of.

Well, 5 more minutes won't hurt, then.

Pwnatious woke up 2 hours later to a very awake and very disappointed Traffic.

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Swords, was it a rainy day. Shuriken’s soaked and he's just hoping to get home before the cold takes him over and turns him into an ice cube.

Sneaking in through a window, Shuriken makes his way to the bathroom to take everything off and somehow dry it. He could wring out the water over the sink? Then it'd still be damp, and he can't just hang it somewhere like a clothesline. Maybe he could take a heater to it, it's not too loud and it'd evaporate all the water still in the clothes after wringing.

That's his plan. He acts on it. Dries his clothes for a while using a mini heater on the sink so that his clothes wouldn't be ruined for tomorrow. It works, after way too long, but somehow he hadn't considered himself in all this clothing charade. He was still damp and cold. The heater was still on. Naturally, as anyone would expect, he heated himself up like his clothes, spinning and all.

It works in his favor. He and his clothes are dry, and he could put on his pajamas now. He sneaks out to his hammock, hiding his vigilante clothes and then immediately falling asleep.

It's the 31st, right?

Well, daylight savings ends soon. Guess he's getting an extra hour of sleep. Swords knows he needs that.

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Skateboard is so fucked. He can barely pay attention to class as the teacher rambles on about some book they have to do. Y'know what he wants to do? Play games all day! He doesn't want to read, or analyze anything.

But he's gotta do it. He takes out his laptop and starts working on a few smaller assignments. It's not that hard to do, just boring. That's one answer, another answer, this and that, and suddenly he's distracted playing minesweeper. How the hell did he get here.

He's so failing this class.

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“I hate this job, I hate this job so much!” 

Coil, in her natural habitat, is banging her head against the wall in stress. These damn machines are alive and are out to GET her. 

Siiiigh. 

“I shouldn't have applied, I shouldn't have applied, I should just quit right now and leave.”

She checks the cameras, checks the doors, checks cams, Bonnie's gone, where did they go. She's so fucking scared but she needs to pull through. 

Check the cams again. Gotta close that door soon. Freddy's gone now, close that door now until Bonnie leaves, check cams, he's not that far, Bonnie's gone so open that door-

Ding dong ding dong…

It's 6 AM. Oh swords, it's 6 AM. She didn't even realize time went by so fast. She's getting paid. She's alive. It's a Phightmas miracle. 

“Fuck you Windforce, I'm perfectly capable of working!! Skateboard, I'm coming home!!”

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“Meddy!!!”

Medkit whispered an “oh no” as they braced for the bone crushing hug Subspace was moments from giving (likely leaping on them too).

Lo and behold, that's… not what happens? Medkit had basically bet on it, like an all in bet, and they were wrong. That's not typical. No, that's not typical at all. What could Subspace be planning now?-

Oh.

Nuzzling. Against their face. She's nuzzling them.

They just froze. Ice cold, unmoving. They can't react. They don't know how to. What could they possibly react with?

Meanwhile, Subspace just continued on, gently hugging Medkit and taking note of their slow wagging tail (they always thought it cute that Medkit had those deer traits). 

Medkit was unable to process anything, just overwhelmed by sudden affection. Affection from someone they hated (they think) in such an unwanted way (did they enjoy it?).

Suddenly, it ended. Sadly, almost, if Medkit didn't remember who was giving them this affection.

To save face, they scoffed and walked away.

But Subspace already saw their tail wagging.

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0/7/2.

1/5/3.

0/3/0.

2/8/4.

3/11/3.

It isn't adding up.

The biograft had not gotten any software or hardware updates. Internal tests suggest nothing is misplaced or detached.

So why is it suddenly failing?

It paces around. Running tests again. Checking physicals. Going through long term memory. Searching the entirety of its systems for an answer. As if its life depends on finding out why the hell it's failing.

.

.

.

Nothing.

Nothing has changed.

It's the same answer that it's gotten 7 other times, but it's not the answer it needs. It needs something that says the malfunction is somewhere. It is convinced its systems are lying to itself.

It will go through maintenance again today. Subspace needs to know that something is wrong with it that it cannot detect. It knows Subspace will be mad. But it desperately needs to know that something is wrong and it needs to know how it can be fixed.

…time for another walk to the lab to go through the exact same procedure. It will await creator’s judgement.