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Dried blood sat just under Quanxi's fingernails. It was crusty, brownish-red, and stuck deep in the cracks. She picked at them under the faucet, nails on the other hand scratching the underside with soap.
Makima's steps were near-silent as she entered the public bathroom. Nobody else would've heard. Quanxi had that sound memorized, subtle as it was.
Like always, Quanxi waited until Makima approached to address her— Makima had a good nose, but after a fight, Quanxi's smell was a little different. It was fun to make someone so perfect doubt herself. It'd never take more than a second for Makima to figure it out, obviously, but there was a tiny rush in that moment when she picked up on the hint of confusion along Makima's eyes.
Not that Makima would admit that it'd been there, of course. And not that Quanxi would ever bring it up. She valued her life far too much.
"No sign of him," Quanxi greeted, blunt as always.
"Which one was it?" Makima tilted her head. The motion was doglike. Knowing Makima, Quanxi would bet she actually had picked it up from her dogs.
Someday, maybe, Quanxi would finally get invited over. As much as Makima loved to show pictures of her dogs, Quanxi wanted the real deal.
The blood was still there, still beneath her nails. Still out of reach. Quanxi shook off some of the water and reached for a paper towel. As long as she was a devil hunter, she would never get it all.
At least now, it was faint enough that she could pretend she was clean.
"Eye devil."
"Any signs of him?"
When Makima looked at her with that sad-wishful look, it almost seemed like she wanted Quanxi to make progress. Which was impossible, obviously. The promise to find the chainsaw devil was the carrot that she kept on a stick, guiding Quanxi blindly to mission after mission. Making progress would mean Makima lost a piece of her control of Quanxi. Still, sometimes Quanxi couldn't help but believe Makima wanted to sit at a cafe, their knees touching, sharing two coffees— black for her, vanilla for Makima— and kissing every now and then. Or go see some bad movie, and play a game of lesbian chicken— except neither of them would chicken out first, Makima never backed down and Quanxi had a ruthless streak, and they'd get kicked out of the movies, laughing and in love.
Makima didn't want that. That look in her eyes was just because Quanxi getting what she wanted would mean Makima getting what she wanted out of the deal. But…
It didn't hurt anyone to pretend. Did it?
Quanxi was stuck in this life either way. Why not believe there could be love for her in it?
"Nope," she muttered eventually, resisting the urge to shrink down. The chainsaw devil was so far, and Makima was so close. Her heart was in a safe, and the safe was within reach but the key wasn't, and the lock couldn't be picked nor broken. She could shake it, hold it, whisper to it. It didn't matter. The chainsaw devil was the key, and she needed to find him, and no amount of love for Makima could change that fact. It could only push her towards her goal.
But she was so close.
And she was starting to think the key might not even exist.
As if she knew what Quanxi was thinking, Makima reached out with a soft smile, those spiral eyes as enticing as ever. She tucked a strand of Quanxi's hair behind her ear. Makima's hand lingered just barely off of Quanxi's face. It killed her, the way Makima could switch out of professionalism like this. The way she knew how to play Quanxi, and Quanxi didn't known how to resist.
She was being manipulated. Of course she was— this was Makima.
Quanxi knew better than to believe her.
Knowing better didn't mean shit against her heart.
"You do good work, you know."
Quanxi swallowed, unable to stop staring. "Thank you," she replied, her face flushing.
"Have you decided if you'll be keeping the job, or transferring?"
"Of course I'm staying." She didn't even need to think. This was Makima; she knew what was best. Where else would Quanxi even go?
"Good girl." Her voice was soft and delicate. It made Quanxi think of some sort of poet. Maybe a songbird. It didn't match the ferocity that Makima showed against devils.
Maybe that was what made Makima so effortlessly appealing. Her face was rounded, and her bangs made it look soft— approachable. She kept much of her hair in a bun. Quanxi's eyes always chased the few pieces sneaking out. Despite wearing the same uniform as all of them, Makima made it look attractive.
"You're pretty," slipped out of her mouth, even though she should've stopped it. What was she doing? Quanxi never showed her hand. Nobody melted her like this. She was only sweet to whoever she dated— and she wasn't dating Makima. It was clear that'd never truly happen.
"Thanks," Makima smiled, tucking some hair behind her ear. "You still want that date?"
"Of course I do."
"When we find the chainsaw devil, it's yours." She blew Quanxi a teasing kiss. Makima was showing a dog a treat, then pulling her hand back. It was cruel. It was Makima's standard.
What was it about Makima that melted her resolve? No other crush had made her put up with anything like this.
Sure, she knew Makima was a devil. That much was obvious. Quanxi didn't really care— they made contracts with devils. She had teamed up with fiends. Makima was a devil hunter, which made Quanxi resemble her more than any normal person, devil or not.
In a daze, she left the restroom, and turned to her left. Her feet led her, aimlessly, until—
"She's got you wrapped around your little finger." How did Kishibe even know what was going on?
"Shut up," she groaned.
"I don't know if this was more or less pathetic before you knew you were gay."
"Shut up." She threw a punch. He almost ducked.
"Too slow," she laughed.
"You know she's never gonna go out with you, right?" Ten years ago, Quanxi would've been scared shitless that he just knew what was going on. Five years ago, she would've at least asked. After this long, though, she would've been more freaked out if he hadn't recognized the cycle.
He figured it out before even Quanxi did.
"'Cause she's straight?"
"Because she's Makima." He rolled his eyes. "Half the guys have an eye on her, and she has blackmail on the other half. She's promised the same thing to all of you."
"Yeah."
"You're chasing a legend, and it's gonna bite you in the ass." He shook his head. "Seriously, you're too good for this."
"What do you even want me to do?" Her laugh was a little bitter. He wasn't wrong, but she was stuck. How did he not get it?
"You're smart. You're crafty. Work for yourself, for fuck's sake."
"Just give up?"
"It's rare to live this long as a hunter. If you can do it in this group, you can do it alone." His eyes met her. "Quanxi, I don't want to bury you."
"Damn, old man. What's gotten into you?" His gaze flicked towards the floor.
"You have to be crazy to be a devil hunter," he shrugged. "At least go crazy for yourself, and get some fun out of it. After this much time, you deserve to date a girl— one who likes you— before we die."